Can You Get a Child to Sleep WITHOUT Letting Them Cry It Out?

You are going to have to try different methods of getting her to sleep. Try a lavendar bath or lotion. Try singing her to sleep. If you stay in the room while she is in her crib, she may feel some comfort knowing that you are in the room with her. Maybe even play some soft music.

S., YES YOU CAN!!

First of all, let me say good for you for trusting your instincts to not let your sweet girl cry herself to sleep. Don't give in to the advice that you are sure to get that letting them cry is the only way...it is NOT. It is possible to get them to sleep without the crying, but takes more time and effort. Seemed like everyone told me that I was going to ruin my son's chances of ever going to sleep on his own unless I let him "cry it out." I just couldn't, so searched until I came across the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley which helped us a lot (you can find it on Amazon.com & read reviews and passages of the book).

Start with the same bedtime & routine each night (ex: bath/wash up, brush teeth, PJ's, read 2 books, nurse/bottle, bed by 8pm). Make the crib comfortable (let her have a bumper as she is 7 mo. old & past SIDS fears, as well as at least one safe stuffed animal and a soft blanket for comfort). Since your daughter is 7 mo. old, she is probably cutting teeth. Consider some homeopathic teething tablets, a teething doll or blanket, even Orajel or Tylenol before bed on those bad days when you know her teeth are hurting. Also try to make the room look the same at bedtime as it will be when they wake up in the night alone (nightlight or door cracked w/hall light on, etc). Nurse as usual, but, since you want to lay them down at least semi-awake, remove her before she is completely asleep. If she wakes completely up when you lay her down and starts to cry, then you can try sitting right next to the crib with your arm inside touching her until she calms down. Then leave. If she wakes up crying, go back in, but try to avoid picking her up if at all possible...the idea is to get her used to falling alseep in her own crib.

After a few nights, you will be able to lay them down semi-awake & sit next to the crib (no eye contact or talking) until they calm themselves down. Never use the crib as a punishment! By doing all this hard work, you are making them feel comfortable, not abandoned in their crib. If she wakes in the night (which is very common) don't rush right in at the first sound, give her at least 5-10 min. to see if she settles back down by herself. If she doesn't, go in & give her the once over (check for fever, wetness, etc.), if seems OK, simply lay her down again, say "bedtime" and walk back out. Come back every 5 min. to let her know she is not alone or sit next to the crib while ignoring her until she goes back to sleep. The Nanny TV show uses this technique too...sit next to the crib & move farther away each night until they are falling alseep in their own room by themselves.

It is hard work, but it CAN be done! You are putting in the hard work now so that later your daughter is more secure and cries less. You're fighting the good fight - hang in there!

S.,

there are several options. As everyone else stated, routine with bath and music. You can lay her down and sit next to the bed. You can gradually get closer to the door and then when you can get out of the room, if she cries you just let her know you are there. It is a long process, but if you do not want to let her cry it out, then you will have a long process.

I would read and rock my son until he was drowsy, but awake. I would set him in his crib, rub his back and tell him that mommy will be back to get him in the morning. My son did not sleep through the night until 14 months due to health issues, so this was a bit easier because he understood what I was saying.

You need to decide what is right for you. Crying it out is tough for some of us.

I read several books and applied what worked for me:
The No Cry Sleep Solution
The Happiest Baby on the Block
Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child
The Baby Whisperer

What registered the most for me was a statement by Dr. Sears. He said you need to rule out illness. Teething, ear infections, etc can make it difficult for your baby. Make sure none of this applies before starting a plan.

Now that my son is 19 months I let him cry when he starts waking again in the middle of the night. He knows how to sleep. I check him, make sure he is not caught in the crib or sick. I then reassure him and lay him back down.

I wish you the best of luck. Please before you let her cry and upset the both of you more, read several approaches and decide what is right for you.

I happen to agree with you, S., letting her cry it out is cruel and unnecessary.

She is probably waking up because she knows you are not there. Is there any way you can arrange to lie down with her until she is in a deeper sleep?

We used to call what you're experiencing a 'sheet allergy' -- the child who just seems to wake screaming on contact with the bed... We found that keeping the noise and light levels about the same (don't close the door, for instance, or put her down in the same room with you, and then move her when you go to bed) helped a great deal... as did putting them down onto the blanket they'd already been wrapped in, so they weren't suddenly touching a cold bed.

Have you considered taking her into your bed? It is one way moms find it easy for everyone to get enough sleep.

I read an article when my son was about 3 months old. It suggested teaching him how to go to sleep on his own so when he was older he would be able to put himself back to sleep if he wakes durring the night. It suggested puting him in his crib while drowsy but awake. I would bathe him, then jammies, bottle with a little cereal while cuddled in his blanket. After the bottle was done and if he was sleepy I would keep him snuggled and lay him in his crib. I turn on his baby einstein mobile every night. The first few nights he went right to sleep and slept through the night. After about a week he would wimper a bit but not cry.
Now he is 8 months old and if he is crying when his mobile goes off (rarely happens but after 15 minutes) I go in his room and rub his back. That is usually soothing enough to help him fall asleep. I usually turn his mobile back on when I go in his room.
Best of luck!!

Yes, I agree with Lyndsey. We did the lavendar bath and lotion. Also, make sure you lay her down awake. we used music--try The Delta Sleep System. That worked wonders for us. My kids are 13 and 10 and still love to go to sleep to music! I never believed in letting them cry. It can be done!

I just wanted to say that my 7 month old son still doesn't sleep through the night. You aren't the only one!! My husband feels like we are the only ones who have a baby that doesn't sleep through the night at 7 months, so it is always nice to know we have company. I'm currently offering him water when he wakes up instead of a formula bottle (although I do still give him a bottle about 3am, but I have it watered down). That was advice that was given to me to try and end the 4-5 times up at night. It isn't really working for us, but it might for you.

Have you considered co-sleeping? That way you get sleep and she feels secure next to you. I have co-slept with all of my children my two oldest sleep well on their own now and have since they were 1yr old and just over 2yrs old. My now 11month old will sleep on her own most of the night now as well.

Millions of people co-sleep safely around the world....just be sensibile about it, one pillow per adult and no super fluffy bedding

S.,
My baby is still young so I am sure we will continue to learn new things about what works for her and our family as she grows.

However, I wanted to share with you the authors William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, RN (and now revised with the input of two of their sons, Robert Sears, MD and James Sears, MD.) I have found their research, experiences, and advice very insightful.
They have written a number of books and also have a website www.askdrsears.com

Best of luck to you and your family!

Hi S.,

I never let my first child cry it out. I would lay down with her every night and sneak out when she fell asleep. As a baby, I would lay with her in my bed. I ended up getting so worn out that I got pleurisy (sp?) and pneumonia. When #2 came along, this was a very hard habit to break. I had to put him down to deal with her. He cried for 3 nights and each night it was shorter. I did the same routine. Bath, lotion, story, hugs and kisses, and then put him to sleep with classical music on. I also did that with #3. Now they are 6, 5, and 1 and go to sleep on their own in less than 20 minutes.

I know how tired you are and you really need some wind down time for yourself in the evening. I did not like the crying it out method while it was happening, but it sure made life easier. The first night was the worst and then it dwindled. Now, the kids go to sleep better when I am not there and we just stick to the routine.

Alot of my friends rocked the baby and then did the "slowly move the chair out of the room" thing. Sit next to the crib with your hand on the baby. Then sit there with your hand out of the crib and then just keep distancing yourself until you're out.

Good luck! It is so hard! Be sure to take care of yourself.

Even when they are that young, they know how to push our buttons! :-) She knows that if she cries, you come running. But I know what you mean about not wanting to let her cry it out.

With my son, who is now 3, we worked very, very hard to establish a really solid routine. With kids it's routine, routine, routine. We still follow the same basic routine now that we did when he was as young as your daughter is now:

If I am going to give him a bath, I do that kind of early. He gets a bit wound up bathing, so we let him play for a bit afterwards.

Then we say "It's time for bed." Then get a bottle (we still give him a sippy cup of milk at bedtime). We read a story (these days he gets to pick out the book.
Even when he was very small, we would look at books with shapes and animals and things at bedtime. when the book is done we set it aside, then rock with him in my lap (or on my shoulder) for maybe 5 minutes. I usually sing, but my husband doesn't (which is weird as he is a musician and singer, and I'm not! :-).

Then we lay him in his bed and kiss him goodnight. I let him know that I'll stay for just a minute in the rocker, but then I have to go.

I won't lie. It was hard to get the routine established. Sometimes he cried, and he always tried to "hold us hotsgae" as my husband puts it. But it didn't take more than a week for him to really get the routine and understand that we weren't going to give in. He quit crying (mostly) Bedtime has been a much more pleasant experience than it ever was with our older daughter, who we never had an consistent routine with.

Good Luck! :-)

I would try laying her down and then just standing next to her so she sees you have not abandoned her. Talk to her gently to reassure her. As the days go by she will allow you to get futher from her. This may take time and patience. This technique will lesson her separation anxiety.

Hi S., I am a mother of 2 girls.. age 9 and 14.. right from the start I would put my newborn babies to bed without rocking them until they fell asleep.. they say once you rock your babies to sleep you'll always have to. Have you tried a pacifier? Usually the sucking motion calms them and can help them sleep. Also, during nap time you should try laying them in there awake and leave the room... they may cry a little but they will get used to it.. and give them a pacifier and see if that helps.

Good morning! Personally I don't believe in letting them cry it out either. I only let my son cry for a max of 5-10 minutes. He is 9 months old and still not sleeping through the night. He wakes up once or twice during the evening and drinks a 7 oz. bottle each time. On Sunday evening he would not sleep in his crib. Everytime I tried to lay him down he would wake up and begin crying. Finally I decided that he and I would sleep on the fold out bed in our office. I stacked up the pillows and he slept in my arms just like when he was a tiny baby. The next morning I saw that his one top tooth had broken through. So, maybe your little girl is getting a tooth in and just wants to be close to you because she is hurting a bit. I know it has been going on for a while but just an idea. Also, you might want to try weening to a bottle. When I first started putting my son in his crib I gave him a bottle in his crib with him to help him fall asleep. Now I just feed him a bottle and rock him and then put him in his crib. Let me know what works. I'm just trying to give any ideas to help you and her get more rest. Take care.

S.,

What I did with my son is to stand right next to his crib when I laid him down and rub his back/sides of his face until he drifted back off again. It worked like a charm for him. I hope you find something soon - sleepless nights are not good for either of you!

Lots of Luck!
M.

I don't believe in crying it out. Maybe it's the bed I found that when my kids were babies their bed was cold and they would wake up when I put them down. So I would get a heating pad and put it under their blanket in their crib and warm up their bed. After they fell alseep I would remove the heating pad and put them down. Just something to try :) good luck!

Well, try not to pick her up to comfort her. Try patting her back, make soothing noises, sing, until she is calm. I also don't think it's a good idea to nurse her until she's sleeping. Then she associates nursing with sleeping. Try to feed her, make her stay away while she's nursing, nudge her, etc, then pull out of her mouth while she's awake. Hold her a bit, calm her, rock her, then put her down.

HTH

D. B, Wyoming Mi
Mom of 5 boys

I am glad to hear you don't believe in letting her cry it out. I think babies only learn no one is attending to their needs when "crying it out" is the method. She is probably going through a "grow" and needs to eat more frequently. One of my daughters did that...wake up, nurse, fall asleep and then wake up as soon as she hit the sheets. I put a heating pad under the sheets, warmed up the bed, turned it off and put her back in. That worked for us. The other thing is, some babies like to be snuggled in. Daughter #2 always wanted to be touching someone during sleep. We had all three of our children in our bed at one time or another. We all got more sleep and they did go back to their beds eventually. I know some think that is terrible advise, that then you are stuck with your kids in your bed, but we never felt that way. It was a nice snuggle time for all of us, we all got sleep and no one ever got smothered. That's an issue that some ask about also...rolling on the baby. My thought on that is adults know where the edge of the bed is. Most adults, unless they are intoxicated or something do not fall out of bed. Subconciously, you know not to fall out...just as you would know your baby is in there with you. Good luck...this too shall pass!

the best thing i ever did for my son was let him cry it out. It took 3 nights, but after that he slept 11 hours straight every night. I felt like a terrible mom, but my mom told me...."who knows what is better for your baby? You are a 4 month old??"
I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but i just wanted to let you know it works!

I would strongly recommend that you try to change her schedule so that you are not nursing her just before sleeping. cause she will always need to nurse before sleeping. You want to be able to have a sitter etc. We have read baby wise and it has put such peace in our home. They recommend the "feed, wake, sleep cycle."So when she wakes from a nap you feed her, then she has some wake time, then after sometime playing she sleeps. When she wakes she eats again. This way when she is wake you know she is full and happy. When she sleeps you can just lay her down in the bed with a pacifier or blanket or doll.
You can look on line for the book Baby Wise by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. I wish I could tell every pregnant mom about it cause it has been such a blessing to our home!

I recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Weissbluth. The book is sensitive to different parenting styles and choices and offers insight into sleep development and issues throughout childhood. He discusses crying it out along with other less "harsh" techniques. I also have a 7 month old and she is a great sleeper and I mainly used this book to guide us. The important thing is to figure out what works for your family now so you can all get some solid sleep! Good luck!

I too cannot do the whole crying it out thing. the most i let my baby go was 5 maybe 10 minute intervals when she was a couple mths. old (now she's almost 7 mths.) She's still not sleeping through the night but lately i've only been up 1x, maybe 2x. The most is 3, but that's been a little while now. However, she doesn't cry when i put her in her crib. mostly b/c i established a routine with her early on but you can start now (w/my 1st child i didn't start this until 7 mths. so i started much early this time around!). Anyways, i get her jammies on and then nurse her and then immediately (sometimes I for a bit b/c i pray "with" her.) put her in her crib and immediately leave the room. now she doesn't fuss except once in a great while, but when you first start, they're going to cry. if you can only wait 2 minutes, wait 2, go in and try patting her on the back but don't get her out of the crib. if she really gets herself worked up you could pick her up and rock her a minute (no nursing so she doesn't get dependent on that) and then put her back in the crib and give her another 2 minutes (try to work up to 5) :) Like I said, the most i ever did was 10. i can't stand it! :) Give it about 2 wks. probably and I think you'll start to notice a difference. Plus, if she wakes in the night give her a minute. you don't need to rush in to feed her. if she really starts crying, go ahead, but try to give her a minute to see if she just woke up and can get herself back to sleep. hope that helps!

Hey i have a 21/2 year old boy and a 5mos old girl. My boy is an excellent sleeper. The best thing for a child is routine. Bath, brush teeth, read books, pray, sing, kiss, music. That is my childs routine. He asks to go to bed now and he is an excellent sleeper. Did i let him cry it out, some what. You have to have a good balance. Best book advice for nursing and sleeping is whispering baby by tracey hoeg. My 5mos old same has a bed time routine and puts herself to sleep for bedtime and all naps. Read this book please it has been a great help to me.

I breastfed for almost 11 ths with all 4 of my children. Have you tried a pacifer it can help it soothes them also my youngest has a atuffed animal that she loves and as long as she has it she does well. You can also try to put one of your shirts that you wore in bed with her your smell may keep her happy she will think you are there. If she does wake when you put her to bed try patting her back but don't pick her up. You may have to let her cry for a few minutes but just pat her while she is still in bed and try not to talk that usually wakes them even more.

I've experienced the identical situation with my son. He is now 19 months old but was nursed to sleep from birth to age 13 months. I also do not believe in the "cry it out" method, but did regretfully try it on two occasions. After that experience my husband and I decided we would never do it again.
For months he slept next to our bed in the bassinet of a Pack n' Play. Once he outgrew that, we tried to transition him back to his crib but ended up with his crib mattress on the floor next to our bed.
I still rock him to sleep and then put him in his toddler bed. He's stopped waking up when I put him down but still hasn't made it through an entire night in his own bed. I did the staying up till 4am thing, trying every half hour to put him in bed. It just left me tierd and frustrated.
In my opinion, it is just easier to let him come into our bed during the night.
It would be great if he were sleeping a whole night in his own bed but for now I don't mind waking up to his smiling face next to me every morning! I figure he's only going to be little for such a short period of time, I might as well make the best of it!

This worked with mine he was about a year when I finally tried it but it worked after several weeks some say it only takes a few days every child is different though. When you put your child down stay in the room till they fall asleep each night position yourself a little closer to the door, after a while you will be able to walk right out of the room and they will soothe themselves to sleep without a peep...
oops almost forgot make sure you make no eye contact while doing this they need to calm down and soothe themselves if you make eye contact they will try to make you come pick them up and you will probably have to start all over again...

Is the baby safe in the crib? Then let her cry, baby's are able to console theirselves. And remember the baby's cannot talk so crying is a way of self expression. Baby's have emotions so shen she's in that crib not getting waht she wants she vents.

My son did the same thing when he was teething or sick. I think they just want to be held and comforted when they are in pain. When I was desperate for a night of sleep I would co-sleep. Once my son was well he started sleeping regularly.

With my son, he slept so good early on....then it all just fell apart at around 3 mos old. :) I read lots of good options to try within the other responses, so I won't duplicate those suggestions. We did many of them, and finally found that putting my son in a swing did the trick. Granted, it wasn't a 'forever' solution, but I was so exhausted that I needed it - he'd sometimes sleep through the night, sometimes get up once - in any event, I NEEDED THAT REST!!! After a little while, I started trying the cry it out (which I am not very good at...both with the time it took and breaking my heart!!), I did find that sometimes he would only cry for 5-10 min and then fall asleep. It wasn't difficult for us transitioning from him using the swing to the crib, I was worried he'd be TOO used to it. We would still use the swing when my son had a cold so he could breathe easier (and wake up less) than when he was laying down in the crib, too. Best wishes!

my daughter did this also. i am a strong believer it not letting them 'cry it out'. if my baby is upset and i can fix it, there's no reason why i shouldn't. i put her in her crib, while she was awake, laid her down, held her hand and sang until she went to sleep. she cried for a little bit, but quickly decided she liked the mocking bird song and my voice more. it created a nice bond between us and eventually she out grew it. after she is asleep, make your voice quieter and quieter, as ur easing out the door. she shouldn't wake. i also have a fan in my daughters' room, she will not sleep without it. let me know if this helps.

S.,

I totally know how you feel. I have a 1yr old daughter who did the exact same thing when she was around 7months old. I was so tired of laying her down, picking her up spending another 1/2 hour putting her to sleep and the lay her down to start it all over again. First I will let you know that I do not believe in the cry it out method either, especially for a little one. My daughter is very smart and perceptive and knows how to get what she wants and that was to stay in moms arms so every time I would lay her down she would wake up even if I could have sworn she was sound asleep, I was getting very frustrated. Finally she started to grow out of it, I can lay her down after about 5-8 minutes of rocking her and she is mostly asleep and if she kind of wakes up when I lay her down she goes right back to sleep. However there are times when (only at night time, never for naps for some reason) she will decide that she didn't want to fall back to sleep and starts crying, so I will tell her it is time to go to sleep and lay her on her tummy, rub her back for a minute or two, tell her I love her and leave the room, of course she starts crying and sometimes stands up and a couple minutes after that I will go back in and tell her to lay down which she will right away and rub her back for a minute and then leave again. I will do that until she goes to sleep. It takes a while especially for my daughter because she is VERY strong willed and has much endurance. BUT her is the key... I know that my daughter is old enough to know that her dad and I love her and will always be there, she knows we are in the next room (we live in an apartment so it's small and she can actually hear us)she knows that she is not being abandoned, and I think that is very important. If you do not believe your daughter is old enough to know that then just tough it our for a little while longer but if you do then I think letting them cry is ok as long as you check on them and they know you are there.
Another note, my husband and I co-sleep with our daughter so we never ever have problems at night, she sleeps absolutely wonderful from day one. I love it, it's so fun waking up next to her and my husband enjoys it as well, it's a great bonding experience. However I know that co-sleeping is not for everyone. I hope I helped a little.

B. S

I definitely do not believe in cry it out. My daughter has never been a good sleeper, but we've gotten things under control by using many suggestions from "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I strongly recommend it - I borrowed my copy from the library, then bought my own, it was so helpful. The author is very good about presenting many many different solutions (none of which involve cry it out) and you can pick and choose based on what you think will work for your situation.

Everytime my daughter hits a developmental milestone or whatever, her sleep pattern gets thrown out of whack, and I go back to the book, find something that will work now, and we can get back on an even keel. Moms and babies definitely need good sleep. You can do it!

I have 3 kids...My first needed to cry for about 3 to 5 min everynight until she was almost 2 years old. We didn't realize this until she was almost 4 months old. my second needed to be rocked. My third who is only 2 months falls asleep on her own, but she is only 2 months and I hope that this will continue but I know that babies change almost as much as the weather.
I have read No Cry Sleep Solution and have used many of the techniques!
Good Luck!
K.

Yes! There is a great book by Kim West: Good Night, Sleep Tight; The Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Fall Asleep, Stay Asleep, and Wake Up Happy. My best friend's mom gave it to me. I didn't read it until my boys (triplets) were almost a year old, because we never had too many problems with their sleep habits. However, we moved across the country when they were 16 mos old, and the stress of the change caused our first week to be a sleeping nightmare. After about a week and a half of waking up more than once a night, I decided I had had enough. I decided to put to use the advice I had read in the book, and it worked. I have to warn you that you will have to tolerate one or two nights of crying, but it involves you being in the room with your child. I won't go into any more detail, because the book does a great job of describing the technique. If you do buy the book, make sure and read the first few chapters, as the author encourages, for important information. Then you can skip to your child's age. The book is also a pretty quick read.

Good Luck
Dana, Mom of 3

My oldest daughter started this within the first couple of weeks. She would take a 9:00 p.m. feeding and then when put in her crib would cry until my husband got home from work at midnight. Although I typically let her cry in her room, I did go in every 5 minutes to calm her down, after the first 30 minutes, I went every 15 minutes and would stand with her for a while. It seemed like as soon as I headed back to what I was doing, she would start crying again. Within a week or so, she did start to put her self to sleep faster. Our doctor recommended a "burrito" wrap but that only made her cry harder, so I gave that up the first night. The pacifier was a big help, as long as she would suck on it. It was very h*** o* me, but 4 1/2 years later she is a better sleeper than her younger sister who never went through this phase.

whatever you try, just give it time. Not everything works for every kid, try something for 2 weeks, if it doesn't work, try something else for at least 2 weeks. With both of my kids, when I rock them to sleep, I need to wait until they enter deep sleep, for my first, it was 20 mins, the next was 10 min, this last one is about 40 min. He falls asleep and I have to wait about 30 min after before he enters deep sleep and I can put him down without waking up. Just a thought, hope it helps.

Your baby maybe experiencing a little gas is she is crying harder and harder. What I found that helped was putting the baby on my knees stomach down and rock your knees side to side and rub the lower back of baby. If this does not work, may try putting some cereal in her bottle some times having a full belly will make her tired. I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND SLEEPING WITH YOUR CHILD. I did this with my son and he would not sleep on his own for years to come.

Mary

When my oldest was a baby I used to rock her to sleep then put her in the crib. The Dr. told me to start putting her down without the rocking at about 7 months old. Start with putting her in the crib and checking on her when she cried. At one minute, two minutes, etc. till we got to 5 min. After a while she started settling down. Now with my youngest I did the same thing but found out she had an acid reflux problem. I don't know if that might be something you would want to look into. Hope this helps!!!

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution? It is an excellent book that I've found very helpful.

The best advice I ever got was to put your children to bed at the same time every night awake at let them put themselves to sleep. We did not attach going to bed with feeding time. We started doing this when our first born was 4 months old. We would give him a bath, feed him and then read a book or let him play for a little while. At 8:00 we would put him in his crib with his mobile and music and let him settle himself. As he got older we attached a beach pail to the outside of the crib with safe toys. It only took a few short weeks and we were in a routine. My son not only learned to put himself to sleep, but when he woke up in the morning he would play in his crib for awhile before needing attention. We also knew that after 8:00 we could have time to ourselves which gave us peace of mind. Believe me this was a great blessing as when he turned 19 months old we had twins.

We used this for all four of our children and it worked beautifully.

maybe give her a warm bath sometimes & breast feed before the bath that way when you lay her down she will be full & maybe tired from the warm bath. I'm 44 yrs old & have breast fed both of my children & I know it can be frustrating if they don't go to sleep when it's late. Good luck but try this then when it's nice outside too nite air helps I had to do this with my 1st child but it worked & he slept better

I've been there. I started to have a blanketon her as soon as she while she was nursing. Held her for a little, then put her to bed. Sometimes when she woke up continous she was either hungry, again or her teeth were giving her trouble.
Research now shows crying it out is not the only solution. When a baby or child cries it is because it is seeking comfort not how to deal with it.

Hi S.. There is a process involved into letting them cry it out. My daughter was nursed until 7 months of age(now 15 months) and slept through the night at 2 months old. At 4 weeks old my pediatrician had told me how to go about letting her "cry it out". This is what I did and I will argue till I'm blue in the face that this process worked and was a saving grace looking at how my daughter goes to bed now. IT WORKS JUST BE PATIENTIT TAKES TIME. After I fed her and put her to sleep, I would never put her to bed asleep. A big NO NO. If you do that now, STOP slowly. I waited until she was drowsy and I would rub her back, hair, butt, whatever. Then I would leave the room. She would cry. I first waited 5 minutes and then went back in and did the same thing. I'd leave again and she would cry. I never picked her up until the third time(you really ahouldn't) but I tell you I didn't care about that. I did and only held her for about 2-3 minutes. Kept it short and sweet. Then if she cried for the third time I still stuck to my plan that I mentioned and it NEVER went past a third time unless she was sick or something. Which if that was the case I wouldn't let her cry. Common sense!! After you do the 5 minutes for about 5 days or so then do 10. I never let it get past 10. Within a month. Yes a month, she cried for about maybe 5 minutes and walah she was asleep by herself. My daughter just had to be moved into a toddler bed a few weeks ago because she FELL OUT, not climbed out of the crib and got some bruises and let me tell you something. I believe the "crying it out technique" works so well that when you have such a big change like going from a crib to a toddler bed is such a big adjustment for them. My point is she adjusted within 5 days because after a few days I ler her cry it out a few times to let her know with this big change it still worked the same as when she was in her crib. I hold you for a second and then I leave . Well she knew that and cried for about 5 minutes and she went to bed on her own. I think that's pretty remarkable for a 15 month old to do that with such a big change. I'm not tooting my horn . All I'm saying is that this benefits you as a parent and defiantley yoour child in so many ways. Stay patient. Let me say, I'm one of the most impatient people and I did it becauase I had faith in it. Let me know if this works. Keep in touch and I hope I helped a little

Dear S. M.,

I had this same problem with my baby daughter many years ago. I figured out that it was the cold crib that would make her awaken. She was nestled against my warm body and then I would lay her down in the crib and it would feel cold compared to my warm body of 98.6 degrees. Is there any way you could put an electric blanket on high when you get her up to feed her and then take it completely off the bed when you lay her in the crib? I think it would stay quite warm while you laid her down and you could see if that takes care of the problem. I did not think of it with my own child but some years later I thought of it. Spread the electric blanket over the entire length of the crib mattress and put it on high when you get her up. Then take the entire blanket off the bed and away from where a little hand could wrap into the cord so that the baby won't become entangled in anything in any way. Then it stays warm for some time if it has been on high. A twin electric blanket would not cost that much and almost anything is worth a good night's sleep. If that doesn't work she may be beginning to teethe. Teething causes much pain and discomfort in some babies and rubbing just teething gel on her gums is worth a try. If just the teething gel does not do it try some acetaminophen _and_ teething gel the next time and see if the combination of the two works. Each baby is different.
Also, another idea: is the diaper dry when you lay the baby down for the night after nursing? A peed diaper gets cold after some time and it may be that it feels cold and uncomfortable after being laid back down in the crib.
I would also pray and ask God for ideas. He is the master mind and often has even better ideas than we would think of on our own. If His ideas seem odd, do them anyway; He knows your baby even better than you do and knows what will work best with her.

L. C., Zeeland,MI

After going throught the same change in our 4 month old a friend recommended the book, The Baby Wisperer. We LOVE this book! The author does not believe in letting the baby cry it out and she gives different approaches for different aged infants. It worked for our little one, he was sleepeing thorugh the night in a week and we felt comfortable with the process. It involves hugging and snuggling and loving! All the things I wanted to give my little while teaching himhow to go to sleep on his own in his crib and sleep throught the night. It is a great book! Good luck!

I was told to not pick up your child- instead sit near the crib and try and comfort your child instead.

Also try and put her down when droozy not fully asleep.

Good luck.

We were greatly helped by advice in the "Baby Whisperer" book--borrowed it from the library first, then bought a copy. Her advice is not about letting them cry it out, but learn to self-sooth, while still providing comfort. It helped with our oldest. Best wishes.

Do you have a "crib toy" soother on the side of the crib? Fisher Price has a waterfall soother it plays music and lights up with soft colors. The mobile just didn't do it for my babies after 6months. The crib toys play and light up for 5 to 20 minutes depending on what product you purchase. I have a 8mo old girl, she falls asleep after her evening bottle on the couch. I wait about 5min before moving her into the crib. If she is in a deep sleep I don't even bother with the soother. But yes sometimes she does wake up and begins crying, I just turn the soother on and tell her it's bed time and walk away. Good Luck!

I had the same problem with my first baby. She was over 7 months old when the pediatrition told me she had me trained. He told me to let her cry it out no matter what. It took 3 nights an every night got to be less crying ( the first night it took a good 3 hours) She is noe 13 and no worse for the wear.

Good luck

I had 6 children so I hope my 2 cents can help. I first would try giving her a little oatmeal or rice cereal before bed then nurse her. She may be at a growth stage where nursing isn't enough. I know most die hard nursing moms want to wait 1 year before adding food. That sounds all well and good, but if you are loosing sleep and your exhausted and cranky the next day its kind of defeating the purpose.

If feeding her the cereal doesn't work you may need to let her cry it out. But I bet that coupled with the added food she will cry it out pretty quick.

I also use to let my babies sleep in the bed with me. I know there are pros and cons on that one. If she is use to sleeping with you and you are trying to transistion to a crib that could be the problem. She may not be ready. If she always slept in a crib then I bed she is ready for more food then your body can provide.

1st is a battery swing. I used one for my kids until they were close to a year old-not all the time, just if they were sick or something was going on--but it would work. My children range from ages 16 to 32 and they are reasonably well adjusted. I also have used the cry method. The secret to that that will make it a little easier is to leave the room for 1 minute. When you go back soothe your baby and leave for 2 minutes. Go back the next time after 3 minutes. Try setting a timer every time. The experts say that rarely does a parent have to do this longer than 15 minutes. I found it hard to do this but focus on the time and it breaks it up. I also waited until my children were a few months older for this method. I was probably too soft. That's why I used swings and any other method that I could to soothe my baby to sleep. I wish you luck. I hope this was helpful.

i went thru the exact same thing, and i'm sorry to say my 14 month old is still not a good sleeper and still gets up every 3-4 hours. along with every other technique and suggestion i tried i also unwillingly tried the cry it out for 6 nights when she was about 10 months out of despiration. those were the worst nights of my life. i gave up. i unfortunately don't have and great advice, i wish i did, just my support. but it does get better as they get older. hang in there :)

I didn't read the other responses yet. However, I'm sure you will get strong opinions both ways. I have four kids (18,13,10,5) so I've done this a few times. I've rocked my kids, but not to sleep. I would rock them and sing to them for a while (it soothed me as much as them, to be honest), then put them down awake in their cribs. I just let them cry it out. It was different with each child (EVERYTHING is!!), but it worked EVERY time and none of my children has ever had sleep problems. They can comfort themselves in the night and we've never had sleepless nights getting them to go back to bed. No, it's not easy, but it does work. Ultimately, you have to do what makes you most comfortable (with the present and future outcomes). MOST IMPORTANTLY, realize that it seems like forever right now...but it passes SO quickly!!! You'll make it!!

S.,

I believe the same way you do. I felt it a bit cruel to let a baby scream for long periods of time. I didn't want to make my son feel as though he was being left and mommy or daddy weren't coming back. I would cuddle him and tell him how very much I loved him and just about the time he would be drowsy..not asleep but drowsy. I would lay him in his bed and sing to him, whisper that i was right there and I loved him but that it was time to go night night. It took several nights but it was worth it. It started off with each time I would lay him down I would pat him and talk then as the nights progressed I would not touch him after laying him down but would whisper or say shhhhh shhhhh until he was completely asleep. After about a week he would go straight to sleep in his bed...however if he began to stir I would give him a few minutes to settle himself .... now he sleeps from 7:30 PM to 8:00 (sometimes 8:30 or 9:00)

Good luck, don't feel pressured to let your baby cry it out, you know what is best for your little one.

You do need to let them cry it out. It will be rough the first couple of night but you cannot cave. It's been awhile for me but I remember letting my babies do this. The first night was an hour and the second was 1/2 an hour. If you keep going in their room your baby will continue to do this. You need sleep so tough it out so maybe next week you can get a good nights sleep

NO.. there is no other way. Hang tough and you will Thank Yourself later. The little bundle of joy is testing your nerves of strength. You NEED to show her you are the MOM and your not going to let her run you.

It is best to wait an hour when doing this. My 17 mth old took about 45 minutes to an hour for this to work. I know what your going through, but Please believe me it works.

It helps to have music on in the room and swaddle her. You can buy a swaddle blanket for $10 from Babies "R" Us (best $10 bucks I ever spent). I swaddled her until she was about a 9 mths old and the weather got warm.

When she gets louder and more hysterical that shows you she getting closer to falling a sleep and she has worn herself out. Make sure there is no stuffed animals or anything she could get hurt on in the crib.
Good luck.

Hi S.,
I'm with ya! This stage is so hard. I have three kids, two boys ages 6 and almost 3, and a 5 month baby girl. I've tried it all. As hard as it is, the cry out method does work over time. My first son fought night time sleep for a while and so did my second, but they do need to learn to soothe themselves...BUT, I am having a very hard time with my little baby girl sleeping independently. I am still nursing, and she (and I) enjoy the bonding and the health benefits. I also work half-days, so I enjoy the time spent with her at night, and also need the sleep that co-sleeping reassures. I DO want her to learn to sleep independently, and know I must begin the transition. I am starting off by having her spend more crib time during the day, so she gets used to the new environment. Wish me luck, as I wish you luck! It's all trial and error!
J.

Oh My ! Lots of good advice here -wish I had friends like this when I was a new mom !!

The one thing I learned was that I was allowing the baby to sleep too long during the day -once I shortened nap times she slept better all night .

Just wanted to check.....she hasnt been sick with a cold or anything has she?.....I know the first sign of mine getting an ear infection is that they scream whenever I lay them down. They dont always show any other symptoms except that. If she has had a cold I would get her checked out at the docs.

It takes about 2-3 nights before she will get over the "crying it out". She will get louder before she stops, but she will tire herself out. I hated doing it too, but it only took 3 nights and she eventually began soothing herself when she had to go to sleep. Good luck!