Behavior Changes...

You have a little boy that is going through two big events in his life (as are you :)), going to school, and getting a little brother.

I went through the same exact thing with my now 10-year-old going through going to school for the first time AND having a baby brother. He was very excited about having a baby brother and said he would pick out his clothes (but not change his diaper). So it could be any combination of things. One thing we had to watch out for that we didn't realize, was that mommy would be home with baby for a while, and he was going to be in school. That provided some anxiety for my older son, in that a)baby was getting more time and attention, and b) big brother was going to miss being around his baby brother.

My five-year-old now is acting out in Kindergarten because he is bored. So you might want to make sure that is not the case either.

AND, congratulations and good luck!

I would try to schedule a parent teacher conference and see if the teacher has any ideas about what could be causing it. Perhaps the teacher needs to be more strict with him and he is just testing the boundries. Also, if you were a full time working mom, is the person who use to watch him still in the picture, ie before/after school care? If so, maybe they have noticed a change they can comment on, othewise if they are out of the picture, maybe this is the problem. My guess would be once you have the new baby, the behavior will get a lot worse if you are not able to address it now. Good luck!

Hi L., things will get easier, I promise. Jim has been going through ALOT of BIG changes in his little world. Starting Kindergarden is rough on every child. He is acting up because it is a new enviroment to him with SEVERAL new rules. My one BIG advice is have a meeting with his teacher on a weekly basis.In my daughter's classroom they use what they call a Color Change board, and when they misbehave the kids have to change to a different color ( they start on green: Great, then they change to Yellow:1/2 of recess is lost, then they change to Red:all of recess is lost and a conference is made between teacher and parent, I started doing that at home and it worked great, I just changed the punishment's to fit at home ( ex:loss of snack, no movie, loss of games,etc.)I ,meet with my kids teacher's every friday to see how they are doing, and between the teacher and me we have worked together to come up with what works. Now don't get me wrong it didn't happen over night, but they have improved BIG TIME since I have been doing this. Like I said see what the teacher has in her classroom for punishment and change it to fit homelife and start doing it at home. Just try one thing at a time though and do it for awhile so if it doesn't work you can rule that out and try something else.
And yes the new baby is playing on this too. I mean Jim now has to "share" his mommy with something that isn't even here yet. You just need to make sure that you set time aside for you to spend with just JIM. I know that you are tired and I am sure you are ready for the baby to just get here, but even if you curl up in bed next to Jim and read a small book to him at bedtime, it's still special time to him. And when the new baby arrives, let him help you out as much as possible, even if it's "go get mommy the babypowder". The more he is included with the baby to do "special things", and you make it sound like he can only do it, the better he will be. I wish you all the luck and like I said I promise it will get better and easier (my girls are 8 and 6)and my 8 year old was always there to help mommy out with the baby ( she got bored really fast but she still helped and that was good enough for her)keep me posted on how it goes. Good luck and Congrats!!

Hi L.,

It could have to deal with the baby coming. I'm expecting a little girl in Jan. and my 5 year old son, although he expresses how happy he is to becoming a big brother, he developed a stuttering problem. I mean it was bad! I would get scared and almost start to cry evertime he would begin to say something to me. But thank God it was just something that He was going through. My parents told me it would pass. They told me that we ( me and my sisters) went through it whenever my mom would get pregnant.
So, don't worry, continue to talk to your son, let him know that he needs to improve so he could be a good example for his little brother... and at the same time, let him know that he will not be left behind when the new baby comes.
I let my son get involved when it comes to preparing for the new baby and he loves it...

My son had some transitional issues when starting kindergarten and had a hard time understanding acceptable and unacceptable behavior. I met with his teacher to "brain storm" with her and we came up with an idea. In the morning my son would be given 5 cubes. When he did something unacceptable, a cube would be taken away. At the end of the day, if he still had all 5 cubes, he would get a reward from home...icecream cone, special time with me or my husband, etc. We actually talked to him about the rewards and alot of the ones he talked about were doing things with me or my husband! By doing the cubes, it made him more aware of right and wrong and by the end of the week, he was so proud if he had all of his cubes and was able to relate to me bad behavior and good behavior. He even was able to tell me what other kids were doing wrong and why. He continued the cubes for the year and now starting first grade he is a great student and friend to his class mates!
Hope this helps and remember, keeping an open and active communication with his teacher, principle and staff is so important.

Sometimes as kismit goes children can pick up on the fact that they will no longer be the baby. Also, in this time jim is adjusting to not only feelings of baby loss but of a new arrival. Then unlike us adults who can handle a lot at a time he started school. Which on your behalf is a good idea before having a new baby come along.

Just make sure you reassure jim has not lost the fact he is a baby and the bigger baby and the first baby. Check into some psychology findings that may help eleviate some of the pain he may be experiencing. Jim is also getting used to new things and maybe there is something else really bothering him and he can not put it into words. You are embarking on your last trimester and you also need some L. time. Just make sure everyone has their fair share of their time. Soon everyone will adjust and the new baby will be along and will need some other new adjustments. Believe me, in time, things will all work themselves out.

HI L.!
I am an elementary school teacher and mom of 3. Could you be more specific about what the behavior is? What are the notes home saying? And, how is the behavior that the teacher describes different from what you know about your son? If you could give me a little more information, I would be happy to offer any thoughts I might have on it!

Chin up....I bet he is going to be just fine!!! :-)

N.

i wish i had some mirical answer for you but i dont....lol. the only thing that i can advize is that you just need to spend some more one on one time with jim. he is probably feeling a lil left out or not as important cause im sure you and your husband are busy with work and trying to get ready for the new baby. maybe dad should take 2 hours on the weekends and have it be just dad and jim. and then during the week do just mom and jim, and if there is a day that all three of you can spend atleast 2 hours as a family then maybe his behavior will change. but dont stop encouraging the good stuff he does. make up a poster board like a calender and give stickers for the good things and if he get say maybe 7 sticker in a week then take him and tell him he has $5 to spend at walmart. as he is buying a toy remind him why he is getting it. because he was a good boy and then name things specificly.......

i hope this works for you and if not then i will keep thinking of you. let me know how it turns out. ____@____.com

Hi L., I have a 5 year old boy who just started kindergarten as well. I, too am expecting another boy in December and have recently noticed a change in my son's behavior. I think with the new school and new baby coming, it is very confusing and a lot for our little guy's to deal with. I have found that keeping his mind occupied and busy has helped alot. We talk about what a good big brother he will be to the baby. And when he's naughty...I tell him that baby Jaden would be sad if he is naughty. These are just a couple things that have worked for us. I am also working fulltime, but hoping to stay home after the baby's born (I have a 9 year old daughter as wel) Looks like we have a lot in common! Good luck!