Baby Shower for 2Nd Pregnancy???

Updated on March 05, 2008
C.B. asks from Sunbury, OH
21 answers

My sister in law threw a baby shower for me for my first pregnancy, now she offered to give me another. Is it okay to have a shower for the second baby? I was not smart and gave away most of my things from the first baby. I was NOT trying to get pregnant again. I am financially unable to buy all the new things for this baby. So I know she's wanting to do it to help me. But is it appropriate?

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A.C.

answers from Youngstown on

I think EVERY baby is special and its arrival should be celebrated to the fullest degree! So yes, I think it's fine to have a shower for a 2nd baby.
I kept all of my baby items and had my children less than two years apart so for my second pregnancy my mother threw me a 'pamper the new mom' party where all the guests brought something they thought I would enjoy. It was really nice and much more low-key than a regular baby shower.
Just a thought!

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M.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

Go for it!! If someone wants to have another shower for you, have one, after all, if someone dosen't want to come or bring a present, they don't have to. My daughters are 18 months apart, and my mom threw my first shower and my mother in law threw my second. We had different people at each shower, it was great! Good luck!

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C.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, I'm not sure if I'm just not a nice person or if everyone else is afraid to say this but I don't agree that it is ok to have another shower, especially seeing that your last shower was proabably only about 2 yrs ago. I understand how expensive everything is (and consider that for the proposed invitees) as I have two children under the age of two. Maybe as an alternative instead of a baby shower for brand new items, your sister in law could let everyone know that you are more than happy to accept 2nd hand items as you gave your things away. I am lucky in that I work with a lot of people that have young kids and everyone here passes clothes and things around to each other.

Congratulations and good luck with your new baby.

CZ

1 mom found this helpful
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B.R.

answers from Columbus on

C.,

Absolutely it's okay to have a baby shower for the second baby! And the third, too! Enjoy!
B.

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H.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

This is a popular controversey these days. Traditionally a baby shower was only appropriate for the first baby - I guess thought was that you already had the basics for the second baby, etc. I was given a surprise shower for my second baby at my workplace - these were people I didn't know during my first pregnancy for the most part and a bunch of really nice women who were looking for any excuse to have a party, also my co-worker was due the same time as me so they had it combined. It may seem a little rude if it's all the same people who came and gave at your first shower, however it's not illegal or anything. You could perhaps have a shower where you give a list of the basics you need and those who have it sitting in their basement can give you their used items (they may indicate that they'll want them back if they should get pregnant again) It really depends on you and your friends/family. If people are asking what you need and want and are looking for a reason to celebrate, don't decline their offers. Be honest, maybe even register at Target or something for the essentials you are lacking, but a formal "shower" may cause some social awkwardness. You could also have a shower and indicate that no gifts should be given, just come for a celebration. As someone else mentioned - baby items are expensive and while it was generous of you to give away your items to friends in need, it's unfair to expect everyone else to replenish your supply. Good luck - I hope this helps you see both perspectives. ;-)

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B.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

It's okay if someone throws it for you. Especially if everyone wants to help out. It's not like you are begging for stuff. If your SIL wants to throw you a shower let her. It's not a celebration of you, so don't feel guilty. It's a celebration of the new baby! So let people celebrate your new addition with you! If someone thinks that it is inappropriate then they should not come.

I had a 'diaper' shower for my second. Of course some brought different gift. Maybe she can present it to potential guest like that so they don't feel they have to get a big gift... just a pack of diapers.

BTW.. You can always return diapers (like you could ever have too many) to Babies R' Us for other stuff you may need.

Good luck!!

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J.B.

answers from Dayton on

My personal opinion is that it is okay. Every baby deserves to be "showered" with love and gifts not just the first. Also if you are still feeling a little uneasy about it don't invite people you think would be offended by it. I had showers with my first 2 , but not my third and I do know people get offended. I have to say I get offended when I am invited to a "second wedding" and am expected to buy another gift bc I think it is kinda tacky and should request no gifts. I do think it is a little different with babies though. Keep in mind though that it really isn't everyone elses fault you got rid of everything (don't feel bad my mom actually gave away all of my stuff after my second and my 3rd was a surprise) so don't expect them to buy "big" items. I have a friend who had a showwer with her second and was only asking for things that would have to be new with every baby like onesies, diapers, wipes, bottles, lotions, shampoo and that sorta stuff and I am sure every thing will help you. But that is an idea for an invite to only ask for those things for that reason and then people probably won't be offended. Congrats on your baby and good luck!

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C.B.

answers from Dayton on

Hello C. Yes I think its totally ok to have a baby shower for baby number 2 I did well my best friend did I had thrown things away too I think its up to whomever is going through it in my opinion your celebrating having a baby just as you were before with your first baby there is nothing wrong with it and maybe this will help you start to feel better about this one. I know this can be rough and I know you said you dont have the room and or the finances and all i say to that is "Everything happens for a reason" You were meant to have this baby and so everything you need will come to you and you will find the space you need to relax because your baby can feel stress inutero you just have to leave it to GOD and the rest will come when its time I know that may not help a whole lot but im one of those ppl that believe there is no reason to stress over things you can't control. Take it one day at a time and things will work out how they are supposed to. If you need someone to talk to feel free to reach me on messenger... behindthesehazeleyes75 hope to talk to you soon

C.

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C.B.

answers from Cleveland on

My sis and my mom are throwing me a shower for our 2nd baby at the end of May. I also threw one for my sister's 2nd baby. I think it's a wonderful idea and a great way for all of your loved ones to get together to talk about and welcome your new baby. I say go for it!!! I also got rid of all my daughter's baby things, so this will help out a lot, while being lots of fun as well.

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A.A.

answers from Dayton on

Yeah, shower away! We gave showers for third and fourth babies at my last place of work! Good luck!

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B.H.

answers from Dayton on

The only time I have heard of second baby showers was when there was a very long time between pregnacies or it was a new marriage and a new start. When my sister-in-law had the same thing happen we made days were we went garage sale shopping(had so much fun). I tink the succes of this will all depend on how receptive to the idea the people are that she invites. Good luck the second time around!

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L.M.

answers from Dayton on

i agree with most moms that it is fine to have showers for all babies. there are certain things like clothes and diapers, toiletries, gift cards and little accessories that you can't pass down from child to child. plus, all of your friends and family who can't see you regularly would love to see how you've blossomed! so have fun, and don't feel selfish.

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M.G.

answers from Toledo on

My mom told me once upon a time that you only have a baby shower for the first one, but I'm going to have one for the second also because my baby shower was scheduled for October 30 and my daughter was born October 29th. I think it is fine to have another one, even if you have everything (which I know you said you don't) I know alot of women who have baby showers where they ask for books or they have onsie decorating parties. So anyhow, I say GO FOR IT!!! And have fun.

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T.P.

answers from Canton on

As long as it was offered, it is A-OK! Have it and have fun!! We, too, didn't save much from our first child. There was 5+ yrs. between our boys and had kept hoping someone would throw us a second shower, but we had no such luck. However, I had some very awesome internet friends that went together to get us our convertible crib, for which I'm VERY grateful!

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A.H.

answers from Cleveland on

ok normally a 2nd baby shower doesnt happen unless its been a really long time since your last baby. but in your case i guess it would be ok. does everyone know how you gave everything away? if so then they should understand!! even if its a small one and you get some things!!

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J.B.

answers from Dayton on

Hi C.,

I had 3 children, and 3 showers. Each child is different and needs their own things. I did however keep swings, onesies, socks, etc. BUT, that doesn't mean that you don't need new ones. Now, my mom (being mid-50's) said that 'back then' you were lucky to get 1 shower, but you never got more for any other children. I think times obviously have changed. If they want to give you a shower, bring it on.....at least gets you out w/ some friends/family.....I believe its appropriate! Good luck!

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W.B.

answers from Cleveland on

You know everyone has a different opinion on this subject, and my kids our 6 years apart, and i didn't save much from the first. My closest friends wanted to have a shower for my second child, you tend to have some different friends as time goes on too(i was 19 for my first child) since i told them it was not traditional for that second one(as i was young, and told by older generation) they went all together and bought some essentials and a baby swing, and stroller on their own, and showed up at my house, all together when i brought matthew home. It was such a surprise, and nice, and did help alot! I guess what i learned is to let your family and friends do what they will to help the situation and not listen to the golden rule, as the older generation would maybe say! I had to purchase a new crib, and many other things that a shower could of help offset some of the expense. Do what you feel, it's your desicion, and family and friends, congrats!!

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T.H.

answers from Dayton on

Congratulations! I also had someone throw me a shower for my second baby. I was a little uncomfortable at first and then the host told me that every baby is special and deserved to be welcomed. That made me think twice, and I didn't hesitate again! Baby showers are fun for everyone and I am sure that no one will think twice about it. So I would relax and look forward to the shower and celebrating your new baby with people who care about you! Best wishes!

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K.M.

answers from Columbus on

I say go for it! I'm sure your friends/family know the situation you're in, with giving many things away, & will want to help.

As someone else mentioned, many people will probably give gifts after the baby is born as well so if you don't feel right about having another shower, keep that in mind.

Also, there are many things that babies don't really "need" (fancy pack-n-plays, swings, playmats for the floor, etc.) so if you decide to go ahead with the shower, you can ask guests to only get the necessities.

One more thought, I borrowed many things from my sister when I had my first baby. If you know of someone else who might have some items you can borrow, don't be afraid to ask!

Let us know what you decide.

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M.P.

answers from Cincinnati on

If someone offers to have you a second, or third baby shower, let them! Obviously, they don't think it's a bad idea! I was given baby showers for each of my children, each by totally different people. My second baby shower was also my first baby with my second husband and his very first child. For him and his family it was a first baby shower for me. My third child was the first boy on my side of the family and the first boy born to a son on my husband's side. Although it was only 2.5 yrs after my last baby shower and I had saved all of the big stuff (he was VERY planned) everyone wanted to give me another shower to by "boy" stuff. Anyway, my point is that there were circumstances that made each child special enough to make people want to give a shower for them. I believe every child is special in that way and deserves their own shower. Think of it this way, the shower is for the baby not you. It doesn't matter how many showers you've been the expecting mom at, this is that child's first being the expected baby! :-)

Goood luck and I wish you well with everything!

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S.P.

answers from Cleveland on

If you gave everything away it's fine. Actually it's fine no matter what. I however feel funny having people come to a 2nd shower when they just gave me gifts a couple years ago. JUST MY OPINION! I'm guessing you may be feeling the same since you are asking this question. There certainly is nothing wrong w/it tho! If you feel funny, do like I did, I was kind of in the same situation and my friend wanted to have a shower, I felt funny about it. I told her nicely no thank you and went around to garage sales and found almost everything I needed. Then When you have the baby I'm sure people will give the baby a gift when they come to visit.I also started buying diapers and bath producst as soon as I found out. I bought on item each time I went shopping so I was stocked by the time I had the baby.

S.

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