What Do You Do???

Updated on October 01, 2008
L.L. asks from Kalispell, MT
70 answers

I have a friend who is about half way through her pregnancy. She is going to find out what she is having about 4-5 weeks. so my question is this, this is her second baby...do you give a baby shower for a second baby, maybe if she has a little boy??? (the first was a girl). I'm hoping her mother in-law will handle it but if not, please tell me some simple great ways to have a great babyshower, She is my BEST friend, we have moved from Utah together years ago and now we have kids the same age.... if this is what you do for a second baby and this is the way it goes I would love to give her a nice shower. But my thoughts are if it is a boy, because she already has everything she will need for a girl besides diapers and things in that manner, which I know are pretty vital as well. Please help me with this dilema.

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So What Happened?

WOW! thank you all for the advice about the baby shower! I hadf asked her if she would like one and she said there are a few things she would like well one impiticular, so regaurdless of the gender of the baby we are going to meet up at her choice resturant and just have a little get together. we both do not have mant girl friends and it definately will not be a big shower, just her significant others family (since our families are hundreds of miles away) and she said maybe a few girls from her work that she has made friends with. It will be a gift opptional party with desert, and I really like the idea about making the frozen dinners, so I will probably figure something out and get a hold of her mom-in-law to see if she would like to help out. But again I'm very greatful of all the help I got on this I feel so much better about the situation now. Thanks again

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C.P.

answers from Denver on

I feel every baby deserves their own shower. After all, the shower is supposed to be for welcoming baby . . .

Chrissy

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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

I think that mothers deserve a baby shower for each of their babies, it shows them that you care and it is a good excuse for a fun party! I have given baby showers for women having their second or third baby and have had a great responce. I just wish someone had given me a baby shower when I had my second baby. It is not about presents either, you can even do a gift-free party and just have food and conversation and maybe games (though some women seem to be anti-games these days). Who doesn't love a pary, esspecially when you are pregnant it is nice to have some fun before you enter the sleepless land of babys!

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A.W.

answers from Pocatello on

Find out what she wants this time around....for my second all my coworkers pitched in and gave me a double stroller! That was great bc it was something I wanted/could use. group gifts are great the second time around, or just use the occassion to pamper the mother. I liked the idea of everyone bringing a meal to put in the freezer...all moms know how great that is!!

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R.C.

answers from Denver on

I am also pregnant with my 2nd baby, however I would be embarrassed to have another baby shower. I have all of the big stuff and necessities from my 1st baby shower.
I have had a friend ask me if I would like to have one and I said no. However, as many of my friends have pointed out, they would like to get me a gift-so what we have decided is that after the baby arrives we will have an open house. People can stop in, see the baby, and if they choose to bring a gift that is up to them. I just feel awkward with having the baby shower again. You make people feel obligated to buy you a gift. With many baby showers, please get so generous in their gift giving. I would hate for them to think I expect the same. Other than some clothes, diapers, lotion, etc... we do not really need a ton anyway right now. The obligatory gift should not be necessary. Good luck.

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A.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I don't believe in baby showers for the second baby. You give gifts once the baby is born.

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B.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

This was posted on Storknet and I think says it all:

Showers for second (or more) babies
Q. Is it improper to have a baby shower for your second baby, especially if the sex is different?

A. It is never improper to have a baby shower. A shower is so much more than gifts. It is an opportunity to gather family and friends together to celebrate the beginning of a new life. The birth of a baby is a joyous occasion, and it is always acceptable to celebrate it. If other family members or friends are concerned about it being improper to have a baby shower for a second (or more) child, there are ways to take the focus off the gifts. If the second child is a different sex than the first, it would be fun to host a "It's a Girl" or "It's a Boy" party, where guests bring gender specific gifts. Or, if the mom-to-be truly does not need anything for the new baby, forego gifts altogether and just gather to celebrate. Another option is to host a casserole shower or a pampering mom shower.

1 mom found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Huntington on

I'm surprised at how many people feel that it is ok to have a shower for each baby. My personal feeling (which is shared by most people I have talked to about this) is that a baby shower for subsequent babies is tacky and makes people feel obligated to give gifts. I felt that having more kids was my choice and that I needed to prepare for the baby myself, including buying diapers, clothes etc. This doesnt mean that each baby isnt special...but considering how many kids people have, you could get roped into attending baby showers every weekend of your life!
I would say the exception to the rule would be if the mother is having twins, or for a "surprise" baby later in life (like for those who thought they had finished having babies, given away all their baby stuff, and then find out they are pregnant again).
Give her a gift and wish her well, but honestly.. I would be embarrassed to have a shower for 2nd or 3rd baby. whatever you do, please ask her about her wishes first.

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K.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

For my second baby (I didn't know the sex) my friend invited my friends to a salon and we all get pedicures. There were light snacks, she paid for my pedicure and I think everyone else took care of their own tab. She provided snacks and drinks and people brought diapers. This was really nice. Chance to get together with friends and also spoil ALL of us. I don't do the salon/spa thing much do to finances so this was a real treat. Plus time away from first baby. Find something that she will really enjoy and you can never have enough diapers. I am sure you will find something that will feel good for both of you.

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A.H.

answers from Denver on

When my girlfriends and I throw a "sprinkle" for 2nd babies. There is just a group of 6 of us and we meet once a month for dinner. When the friend is close to their due date, we suprise them at one of the dinners with a mini baby shower. We get a special cake, maybe balloons and then either we all get a small gift (usually clothes, toys, essentials) or go in on a larger gift if we know of something the mom needs/wants. It's always a fun night and the new mom gets to feel special and get a few new things for the new baby. Hope this helps!

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C.C.

answers from Pueblo on

Hi L.,
I believe that every baby deserves to be celebrated and a shower is a great way to do that. Unfortunately not everyone I knew also felt the same way so I only had showers for my first born EXCEPT when my last was born 6mos ago. My church wanted to throw a shower for me but knowing I didn't NEED much except for diapers and such they threw a "Diaper the Baby" shower and everyone was expected to give at least a package of diapers and/or wipes and if they wanted to give more that was up to them. That way the baby got a shower but I didn't get overwhelmed with more stuff I didn't need or would use. I thought it was a very good idea and it went over great! It was so nice to not have to go to the store and buy diapers for 4mos, LOL! So I would get with her MIL and ask what she wants but by all means if you want to throw a shower, throw one and have fun!

C.

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M.R.

answers from Boise on

I think that a diaper shower might be greatly appreciated unless she already has a good supply of cloth. Then maybe a meal shower would be nice. I know that's what my friends did for our second. It was so nice to have all those diapers, the unopened ones that the baby grew out of got traded up for the larger size. Meals that are complete, can be kept in the freezer and thrown in the oven to heat up are so great too. Both nice things for the second time mom who has everything else.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

A traditional shower for a 2nd baby does come off as a gift grab sometimes....I like the showers that welcome the baby: diaper showers, a shower at a dinner prep place where all the moms pitch in and buy/prepare a freezer meal, something helpful for when baby comes along. Every new baby deserves a welcome, and there are so many ways to do so without re-doing the first shower. GL!! Congrats to your friend.

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M.H.

answers from Boise on

Wait until she finds out what she is having. If it is a boy then have a really big baby shower for her, but if it is another girl, I would do a surprise shower at a nice restaurant or something like that for her. My friend had 2 boys and at her second baby shower we all surprised her at a Mexican restaurant, one of her favorite eateries, and each of us gave her a small gift for her boy, like a new outfit, or a blankie just for him, etc. Make sure you put on the bottom no-hosted if you don't want to pay for everyone's meals. I think that mom's need showers no matter how many kids they have, it is a way to connect with other women and make them feel special in the big prego stage their in :)

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

I think it would be great to have a get-together. I never had a baby shower where we got anything over $10. We were in college and so were our friends, so we had to come up with crib, stroller, swing, etc. on our own. My family had one with just family at Thanksgiving. Then a friend had a meet-the-baby party. And nobody threw me a shower for my second, either. I just realized that. It was mostly because I had moved and didn't have friends (well, my good friend was due a month before me).
Anyway, if no one says anything about throwing her a shower, I say go ahead and have a little luncheon or afternoon party or something. Don't call it a shower, or put "no gifts, please" or something on the invitation. Or have a "meet the baby" party afterward. Just don't do it when they baby is 4 days old--we were really tired! (But I was a week overdue, so it wasn't the hostess' fault!)
We're having a get-together for a girl who is having her second boy. It's just going to be a get-together with moms and kids and pot-luck food. It'll be low-key, but I think anything held in someone's honor really makes a person feel special.

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N.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Yeah, I usually do a shower when my friends are in need of new clothes, etc. So either they just had a girl, and are now having a boy, or visaversa. Once I did a shower for a friend who had not had a baby for 5 years, and had given everything away. But, if the baby is a girl, it could still be fun to party if that's what you want to do! Maybe you could just have something like a diaper shower. Everyone could bring diapers since that's always something that you need.

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C.Y.

answers from Grand Junction on

Hi Lesssly,
I think a second shower is great. We do a baby blessing shower with disposable items. For example diapers, wipes, baby soap, etc. But lots of people bring other stuff. I kind of look at as every kid gets a birthday party right? Why shouldn't every baby get a shower? Even if it's just a celebration with no gifts!

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S.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I think baby showers are great no matter how many kids you have. If she is having another girl it will be nice to get some new outfits and fun things she may not have had the first time. Plus you could do a shower for mom and have people bring something for her like bubble bath and candles or free babysitting for a night out. If it is a boy she should have a shower for sure to get all the fun boy stuff. Baby showers are not just for gifts, they are to celebrate a new life.

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D.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

For my second, my good friends through me a Welcome to the World Party for after the baby was born. I did not know the sex of the baby and did not want another "shower" since we already had a lot of baby things from the first. It was a fun way to introduce the new baby to everyone.

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K.A.

answers from Denver on

L.,

For a friend of mine who was having her second baby, we through her a "Pampering" shower. We organized it so that all who came bought her a massage or manicure or pedicure or facial, etc. and then some other pampering things like bath lotions, etc. It was tons of fun for her to be pampered! You could really go all out with it. Maybe even have a massage therapist there giving away 15 min neck massages or have everyone wear slippers or give those away as gifts. Also, I would highly recommend if you do this to divide up the gift certs to the spa and ask people to buy those. If you don't, most likely everyone will buy lotions and bath soap because it is cheap and easier. Have fun!

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R.L.

answers from Provo on

My Sisters & I have felt a second baby shower if the child is the opposite sex from the first is a wonderful idea. The problem we have is do we make it a full blown huge shower (thinking that people we invited to the first shower may be offended that they feel required to give a second gift) or just a small affair. We have decided on the later. To have a smaller shower with more immediate family and friends (people who are likely to give a gift anyway).

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N.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It's OK to have a shower for each kid now. But, did you ask her what she wants?

I did have a shower for my 2nd baby. It was nice to get boy stuff. With my twins, I asked for diapers. People brought me gifts and diapers which was nice. It gave people a chance to drop by and see me w/out having to plan a big party to attend...which I wasn't up for anyway.

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L.V.

answers from Denver on

My friends and I hosted a baby shower for a good friend of ours who was having a second baby. Her first was a girl and the second was a boy, so the gifts were focused on boy things, mostly clothes and then diapers and other essentials. It was a small gathering of just her close friends and family and we didn't play any games or anything like that. It was a lot of fun and I know she really appreciated it. I think that if the second baby is the same sex as the first then you could do a shower focusing on diapers. Ask everyone to bring a pack of diapers and make sure you get a variety of sizes. If the guys want to be involved you could have a "Chuggies and Huggies" party. Where everyone brings diapers and beer and you could all get together to watch a football game or have a BBQ. Hope that helps.

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A.W.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Yes I think you should throw her a shower even if it is a girl. I went to the best baby shower a few weeks back and instead of playing the silly games when the guests got to the party they were led to tables set up for scrap booking. Each guest chose a theme and then made 2-6 pages for the scrap book. Now all the new mom has to do is add her pictures to the blank pages loving made by all of her friends. It was the absolute best idea. If your not into scrap booking what about a simple tea party to honor the new mom and give all of her friends an opportunity to encourage her. Good luck and happy baby to your friend.

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W.L.

answers from Boise on

I would wait to see what she is going to have and then go from there. If she doesn't really need anything then you can have a diaper, wipes and formula shower/baby party. If she is going to have a boy then you could have a "ITS A BOY!" shower/party. The tricky thing is to keep it more personal and less attention on the silly first time mom games. I would think about games that have to do with experiences with having already had a baby. Such as what do we think the height and weight difference is going to be? Think of creative ways to tie the current child with the new arrival.

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K.S.

answers from Denver on

I have a friend who had the opposite sex the second time and we threw her a shower, and she got pretty much nothing but clothes. I have another friend who had the same sex the second time around and a bunch of us went out for brunch and all pitched in on a spa package for her once the baby was born. She loved it.

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L.C.

answers from Pocatello on

I have heard of people having a shower for all children, the first, the first of each sex... So there is not really a rule-to-thumb. Anywho, it would probably be nice to have a second baby shower if it is a boy, even if it is just an open house shower. I had a boy first and a girl second and had a shower for each. It was really nice.

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I think it is up to you, and your friend. Does she WANT a shower? I didn't have one with my second baby, because I had pretty much everything I needed (though I did have a girl first and a boy the second time, I didn't know what I was having until after he was born, so I ended up buying clothes myself). On the other hand, my sister has had a shower for each of her 3 kids. I think it just depends on what your friend wants--I would ask her.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

I have two little boys and my friends still had a second shower for me. However, they held it at Supper Solutions and everyone made me dinners so my husband and I wouldn't have to cook for a while. It was perfect because as you stated in your question I already had everything for a little boy. You could also hold a pampering shower at a spa and everyone could pitch in for the expecting mom! Have fun with it! J. L

E.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

We have done a "Birthday Party" for the additional children in our family. We threw a party after the baby was born so everyone had a chance to meet the newest family member with presents optional. Then even the traditionalists in our family had no reason not to come. :)

Grats to your friend.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I think any new mother, no matter if it's her third, second or seventh baby should have a shower. Yes, she may have clothes and stuff but diapers are a great gift. If her oldest is still using the crib and such then she should have a shower. Those little things like wipes and wash cloths and stuff can really help out with the extra cost of having a new baby. Besides, a shower is to celebrate the birth of child, it's not just for first times moms. Good luck!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

I say each baby is a celebration. When there are third and fourth babies even they deserve newer things for their welcome to the world. Most of us have all the essentials when having baby number two, however new clothes, new onsies (since those typically are stained from the first), new BPA free bottles, diapers, wipes, new sheets for the crib and so on are great gifts. If it is a boy she will want lot's of boy clothes. Even if it is a little girl, new baby things are always precious. Baby books, foot print pictures even for the second are priceless keepsakes and even something like a gift certificate to a restaurant for her family when they don't feel like cooking. You sound like a great friend.

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K.N.

answers from Denver on

DIAPER SHOWER!!! it helps so much to have diapers of all sizes. it helps with cost of purchasing them down the road and is very very helpful!!! I have experience that it was more helpful than alot of stuff we got. Like cloths.

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J.F.

answers from Boston on

It used to be poor form to have a baby shower for subsequest babies. It isn't anymore. I personally feel that every baby is special and deserves a celebration of it's own. If it's a little boy, then fantastic and host a regular baby shower. If it's another little girl, also fantastic, and feel free to host a regular shower, OR try another option, such as a book shower, where you invite the guests to bring a copy of their favorite book as a child and include and inscription to make is extra special. It helps baby build up her library, have a party to celebrate her, and can alleviate any uncomfortable feelings you might have about hosting a shower for a second baby of the same sex. There are other themes you can do as well, I just personally LOVE the book shower option. Good luck!!

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K.B.

answers from Denver on

I think a shower for a second baby, especially of the same sex is a little tacky. Maybe I'm just old fashioned. I also don't like being the center of attention, and I feel a little guilty about having a party where the whole point is to bring me gifts. I do have a friend who had a "sprinkle" instead of a shower for her second. Only a few close friends were invited. With any baby, the people who truly want to give gifts will do it whether there is a shower or not.

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S.T.

answers from Denver on

They call it a Baby Shower and it is designed to celebrate and welcome a baby. I personally don't care if it is the first or the fifth. Granted, the gifts change as the number of kids progress. Even a new outfit (I usually buy 18-24 month sizes so they have something down the road to wear) or a manicure for the Mom can be a good idea. The subsequent showers don't have to be as extravagant, but even a small get together over lunch will be appreciated by your friend.

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K.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My friend is expecting a difficult delivery, and another friend suggested a 'casserole shower,' where everyone brings a meal for the freezer. I thought it was a nice twist on a traditional shower, in a way that met the needs of the mom too. Every baby is a celebration!

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

I agree with the others. We are pregnant with our second girl and are having a shower in a few weeks. I think every child should be celebrated. It's more about celebrating the baby than getting gifts as far as I'm concerned.

We had a supper solutions shower with my first, but have found that to be rather expensive for guests. So for my sister-in-law we did a "dinner" party at her house where we all brought or made something there for her freezer. It was a lot of fun. You can get foil pans or freezer bags at wal-mart for storing the meals that you make. Something as easy as spaghetti in the freezer for her husband to just pop in the oven after baby comes. I used name labels to leave easy directions (thaw, bake at 350 for 30 mins, enjoy). You can google some easy meals to freeze. Then tell people if they just /want/ to bring a gift, diapers/wipes/baby care products are a good idea. Those are all things that moms can never get enough of...food and supplies.

HAVE FUN and take lots of pictures!

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A.K.

answers from Denver on

I think it is wonderful to celebrate the birth of every child. So a shower is appropriate, no matter the gender. An "Essentials Party" is great for same sex baby. Diapers, Wipes, lotions, bath, etc. are all very much needed. Also, if same sex, check out the seasons. If they are born different seasons, they will need clothes for the 1st year or so, because all the clothes will be off the season. A casual shower can be at a fun restaurant, where moms meet for lunch or dinner. order some chips & salsa for those who don't/can't buy dinner and still feel welcome. Put up balloons on a chair, make a yummy dessert (cupcake tree works great) for the center and voila...a great shower! very little prep, and loads of fun. I just had baby girl #2, 1st in Jan, this second end of May, so different seasons. I needed summer dresses, not the winter clothes I had. =PLUS styles change! :-) ENJOY and CELEBRATE life!!! Let us know how it goes! (PS Check to see if she has a nursing cover, sling, and a new diaper bag. Those were my fav gifts)

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

I've been invited to showers for a second baby at a business like Supper Solutions. There are numerous similar businesses all around the metro area. You all get together and prepare as many meals as your guests purchase. People who can't attend can also purchase a meal to be prepared by those attending. The mommy leaves with a freezer full of meals ready for her family when the new baby arrives.

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi L.,
I would hope someone would have a party for her no matter the gender. If it is another girl find out from her what she needs and put that in the invite. Parties don't have to be surprises. Or get gifts for mom that help her, everyone go in and purchase a massage for after the baby is born....
Have fun,
SarahMM

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H.G.

answers from Denver on

Oh, let me tell you what I just discovered! I'm not a fan of baby showers. I mean I love celebrating the new life instead of the mommy and getting together wth other women, but I do not like playing games and it seems like attendance isn't very high when you do "traditional" showers. I have thrown no (and am in the process of throwing) probably 3 baby showers (I have too many pregnant friends!) and we just went to a restaurant and everyone was own their own to pay for their food. It is so much fun becaus eit feels more like a girls night out then it does a shower and it seems like more people come. I think this is a great option for a 2nd or 3rd baby. My sister actually threw me a shower like this with my last child and I just loved it. My choice was to go somewhere a little more fancy (because I like dressing up!) and we just had desert. Because most of us are stay at home mom's and I didn't want to stress anyone out to have to buy dinner so we did desert. And then I sent out an evite invitation. Which again are great! So I did not have to spend any money at all. With the shower I am throwing soon I am going to have party favors (a cute bag I think with candy in it) for all the ladies. other then that I am not doing anything else. I hope that helps and gives you another option to throwing a baby shower. Because I think women deserve it even if it is a second or third child Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Boise on

Every pregnancy is special! If she does have a girl you can throw her a diaper and onesie shower! My friends mom and I gave her daughter a shower for her third baby last night! You can never have to many diapers or onsies!!
If the baby is a boy you can go all out!! Or you can have a pamper the mom shower! Everything is for her! Foot scrubs, lotions, bath salts, ect. Or I did a shower long ago for a friend who was having her fifth baby. Everyone on the shower guest list was asked to bring an ingrediant for a specific dinner dish. Then we all made her several dinners and put them in the freezer for when the baby came all she had to do was take one out and defrost it, and cook it! When we were done with the meal prep we sat around a quilt that another friend had made and we all tied it for the baby! There are lots of ways to celebrate new babies!
Good luck to you and your friend!!

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A.W.

answers from Denver on

Another option in lieu of a shower would be a sip-n-see after the baby is born. Just adults, normally ladies, and the new baby so everyone can fawn over the newborn and make mom feel special too. People will most likely bring a small gift and since the name of the baby is known at that time too monogrammed gifts are fun to give. the sip-n-sees I have been too have either been mid afternoon on the weekend, so small snacks, wine/champagne or in the evening cocktail hour 5;30-7:30 during the week. I like these better than a second shower because you actually get to meet the new baby and it is a nice break for the mom after having 1-2 weeks of newborn chaos and getting a relaxed night out with the girls.

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P.D.

answers from Denver on

When I had my 1st (a boy), I was given a shower for all of the basics. When I had my 2nd (a girl) I was given a shower with specifically girl things. The 2nd was smaller and more simple which was great, as I didn't need as much. Both showers were big blessings to me! I did not have (and did not need) a shower for my 3rd (a girl). I was so thankful for the friends that did both of those showers, and received so many needed items at both events, as well as some cute, more personlized things for my 2nd which I cherished and kept. I probably would have been ok without the 2nd shower, but it really meant a lot to me!

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

i was given baby showers with all 3 of my kids and i was so grateful because there were some things we needed with each baby. even though the first two were boys born in the same month, they were not the same size, so there were a lot of clothes my oldest wore that didn't fit his brother at the right time of year. so it still was helpful to receive clothing, plus it was nice to have a few brand new things that didn't already have a stain or other wear. many of the things we had for our first baby were second hand and needed to be replaced by the second or third baby, such as car seats, swing, shoes. another thing we needed with our second were crib size sheets because we then had two mattresses to cover. for my 3rd baby, i had a lot of necessities still, but the bibs and burp cloths were in sad shape. so the activity at the party given for me was sewing bibs and burp cloths and tying a quilt. the attendance was much smaller than my first baby shower, but that was fine because i needed less. also consider that if your friend is in a different home now than when she had her first, she may need things like a baby gate or monitor. just ask her to make a list for you of things she needs now and you can gauge how big or what kind of party would be best.

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A.H.

answers from Denver on

I have a great suggestion. I am a consultant for a company called Homemade Gourmet. I would love to do a home party that is a Baby shower. We help families eat great food without the hard work. We can show you how to put meals in the freezer for your friend for when the baby comes home. We sell the mixes for everything from soups, dips, bread, to the main entree. I also have thought of doing a diaper only shower for a second or third baby, as they dont usually need much in the way of "stuff" If you are interested contact me at
[email protected]____.com

Good luck

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A.E.

answers from Salt Lake City on

If it's a girl and she has all the baby stuff. Have a pamper the mom party or just a girls night out to celebrate. You could do foot soaks, or make overs or just do a shower but have the gifts be things for the mom like beauty products or lotions, bath stuff, etc.

I had a shower for my first(boy), open house for my second (girl)-which I hadn't expected but was nice to get a few girly things. I don't think it is expected for a second baby but having a celebration for the mom is always nice.

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I really don't care what number the baby is. WHY is one baby more important to prepare for that another?

I'm not a big baby shower lady either, though. Well, not BEFORE the birth anyway. Women have this ridiculous need to share horror stories and scare the pregnant mom half to death which I find unhelpful and just mean.

Give her a blessing way. Get a group of women together who respect and honor her as a woman and she trusts. BAN ANY talk of negative things and only allow affirmative, powerful, lovely things to assist her.

Each and every birth is different, each and every birth has things to overcome and learn from, each and every birth should be honored and approached as a miracle--NOT just the first!

Each birth is a transformative experience for a woman. Chances are that since this is not her first birth she is more aprehensive about it that she was with the first. Many of the mothers I work with are...afraid of repeating something they endured in the first, second, or whichever number precedes the current pregnancy.

Baby showers are about Babies...Blessing Ways are about the Mothers. I think before birth the Mother should be pampered and prepared for birth and after the birth a baby shower is nice. (especially if there is a new gender or there's been a long period of time) Plus, Mom's don't readily know what they want or need prior to having their child and therefore tend to get lots of things they end up not using and missing out on things that this particular baby really enjoys/needs.

Take it for what it's worth--any excuse to get together and love another is a good thing.

You could have people bring a dinner to put into the fridge for her to heat up that first week or two after her baby at a Blessing Way, too. Do a google search to see what different ideas there are for them; they range from the strange to the simple and nice (as most things).

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

I always thought it inappropriate to have a shower for second or third children but....Now that I am have my third, a boy, after having 2 girls, I wonder. My sister suggested having a diaper party, which I would welcome. You just have to give each guest a size to give. Getting together is also very fun. So a baby is a good reason I guess. I also needed things like new nursing bras, which can be expensive (gift cards), a new snugly and a nursing cover(they didn't have such things for my last 2). You may want to ask potential guests how they feel about a shower. Good luck.

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J.M.

answers from Boise on

Regardless of what she is having throw her a shower! Even is she has another girl this new little one deserves to be celebrated just as much. Perhaps it may be more informal and she would not need to register. Simply invite everyone that she would like to be there for an informal lunch and just enjoy the excitement of a new baby. There are always fun things to buy babies regardless of need. I had two girls and really appreciated the thought and time people spent on my second's gifts. There were also many things that I did need for baby number two. It may be more casual but please celebrate her hard work being pregnant and the bundle of joy on the way! You are a good friend.

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Throw her a shower - no matter what the sex of the baby is!!! I view a shower as not being just about the gifts, although the gifts are outstanding! :) It's also a time for friends and family to get together to celebrate the excitement of the new arrival. As far as the gifts go, even if she has another girl there are always new things that you need or just want. Or how about nice things for the mom? One of the nicest gifts I got at my baby shower was a gift certificate for a massage - I saved it until after the baby came and truly enjoyed that quiet, relaxing hour! Ask her for suggestions on specific things she'd like. Take this as an opportunity to show your best friend how happy and excited you are for the new baby!

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S.H.

answers from Fort Collins on

I think you can do a second baby shower but it's not as elaborate as the first. I have had friends that would do a diaper shower. I'm sure she has a diaper preference and I would just have everyone bring all different diaper sizes. This saved us so much money. We didn't have to buy diapers for almost 6 months.

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J.M.

answers from Denver on

I don't have time to read all the responses so I apologize if this is a repeat, but my friend is who is getting ready for her second is having a "diaper shower" where all she's asking for is diapers, lotions, creams, etc. She's having a boy (her first is a girl) so we'll get her some boy clothes and things too.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

Customaerily, there is not a shower. I have sen people who hda their children far apart or moved so no longer have baby equipment have a small shower with just family. I have also had friends through each other luncheons on a Saturday when the hubbies can watch the kids. then they ask for only diapers...it is called a diaper party. the assumption is if you had one, you still have your stuff. If she has five, are you going to through a party for each one? But a girls' luncheon to celebrate the delivery is appropriate. Oh, i have also sen the old tradition where the baby is presented to people at 4 weeks old...maybe you could do it that way. I actually had that as mine was born to early before my party. that was nice for everyone to meet the baby.

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M.

answers from Denver on

I would definitely talk with your friend first. I do not agree with baby showers for each baby because I think it looks like you are looking for gifts. We had several friends who did have baby showers for all of their children and the people who were invited were irritated. I just don't know many people who enjoy going to baby showers. It is a lot of gift buying and many people are on a tight budget. Also may people prefer to give a gift after the baby is born because then they also get to see the baby. We had a boy after we had a girl and we received tons of boy items (without the shower)Our friends and family members all gave us special gifts after both our 2nd and 3rd child were born, and then I felt like it was on their terms and me not asking for gifts through a shower. We have a friend who had a shower for all four of her kids and by the 4th people were like what is up with this? (needless to say very few people were at the shower.)

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K.W.

answers from Denver on

I've thought about this too. One thing you could do is have a baby "party" and ask guests to bring dinners that they can freeze and eat after the baby is born. They can bring other gifts if they want. Or, if the guys are friends, have a poker or video game night for the guys and the price of admission is a pack of diapers. I know a lot of people think a shower for the second baby is tacky, but you want to celebrate the new baby too. I'll be interested to see what others say!

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B.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You have lots and lots of responses so sorry if this is repeated.

For our second we had a shower/backyard BBQ with all of our friends (co-ed) to meet our new baby. It was great, but in hindsight I was really exhausted so didn't feel like I got to enjoy it...oh and I spent a good chunck of the time nursing my baby.

A friend of mine had a pampering shower for her second baby. (2nd boy) We gave gifts to HER...massage certificates, coffee gift cards, etc. We also all signed up to take her meals after the baby was born, but you could have guests bring a dish ready to put in the freezer for her.

Either way I think a shower for a second baby is a GREAT idea!!

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C.R.

answers from Denver on

Dear L.,

If you feel it in your heart that you want to give her a babyshower. Then you should go by your heart. Just because she has a lot of things already doesn't mean you all can't celebrate this little one coming into this world. Babyshowers are mostly a celebration of special people coming together and enjoying this time for you friend and most of all the little one that is coming.So have some fun and enjoy!!!

If you need a babyshower checklist and some babyshower games. You can go to my website: www.littlejourneysbabyworld.com and download them for free.

Wishing you and your friend and the little one that is coming many more happy journeys.

C.
Little Journeys Baby World

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K.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

if you want to and she is cool about it, go for it. if she's having a boy, have a diaper party where everyone brings money, diapers, or even gift cards.

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T.B.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would give her a great shower... a frozen dinner shower. Have all the guests bring a premade frozen dinner that hubby can cook for her. This will help her out the first few weeks. If the guests would like to bring a baby gift go for it. Baby showers are to celebrate the new baby.... not to get gifts.

Enjoy your friend and this special time in her life.

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J.M.

answers from Pocatello on

I think a shower is a great idea. I never really had a shower for any of my three. I wish someone would have thrown me one. My sister lives far from family and so do all her friends, so they all throw each other baby showers regardless of which child it is. They all just bring a small gift and have lots of fun. They love to get together, so this is a fun way for them to do it. Babys are a joy and a fun thing so play with it. Diapper Parties are fun. I personaly like a few new out fits every child. What is the difference between that and having two different baby showers for the same child. I know lots of poeple who had multiple showers for the same baby.

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E.B.

answers from Provo on

For my friends and myself, we did a Necessities Baby Shower. Where the invitations state that if they would like to bring a gift (not necessary) then to make it diapers, lotion, nursing supplies, bath stuff, etc... things that she will definitely need. If its a boy, you can do the normal.

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S.W.

answers from Pocatello on

My suggestion is if she is having a boy, definately a shower, but a girl you could still have a shower but as she will have most everything she needs, you could just host a meet-the-new-arrival party. I had one after my second, third and fourth were born... I have all boys. Its a great way to see the family all at once and most people will still have a gift for the new baby, but its not neccesary. If the baby is the same sex but born at a different time of year then the clothes that she had for the first one won't work so keep that in mind too.

Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I agree with the other ladies, every baby should be welcomed! It doesn't have to ba a shower in the traditional sence of the word. Diaper shower's, book showers, onsie showers where everyone designs and decorates a onsie for the baby, all of these can be a lot of fun for the mom, and previous child/children. Baby showers for me aren't about the stuff you get but about everyone coming togather and celebrating the birth of a new life.

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A.T.

answers from Colorado Springs on

One of our friends had a diaper shower. People brought diapers and had their name in a drawing for little prizes. Then if people wanted to bring other gifts they could but were not obligated to. It was nice to acknowledge the baby but the parents didn't need too many things.

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I do not see a problem with giving her a baby shower, no matter the sex of the baby. When I had my second boy I found there was so much I didn't have. Plus they came in different seasons so I had to buy new clothes anyways. I think every baby deserves something new and deserves to have their life celebrated. If someone doesn't want to buy a gift, they won't. You could keep the shower to close friends and family if you are worried, but I don't think it matters. If you want to throw her a shower, you should.

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A.U.

answers from Provo on

My personal opinion (which I know not everyone shares) is that every baby is special and should be celebrated. So, we have had parties/showers for all three of our babies (two girls and a boy). We do try to stay away from the word "shower" though (using 'celebration' or 'party' instead) and try to give something back to the people who come besides just finger food. We had the get-togethers at a local pool, an arcade, and a pottery place so that it was an opportunity to make memories with our friends, or even send them home with something (like the piece of pottery they painted this past time). Activities like this do cost more money, but we feel they are worth it. It isn't about the gifts so much (though people do bring them), but about sharing our excitement of having a new little one.

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C.W.

answers from Grand Junction on

Oh, you have to give her a shower regardless of what the sex of the new baby. If it's going to be the same as he first child, make it a "Mommy Shower" where people bring things that will make HER happy and comfortable in the months after the baby is born. Stuff like cozy sweatshirts, boxes of herb teas, gift certificates to the hair salon she goes to, places she like to eat or shop. After all, the baby shower really isn't about the baby, it's about the mommy.

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K.H.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have done at least two baby showers for second and third children and we just ask everyone to either help contribute to a large gift (car seat, double stroller, ect.) or we did a diapers and wipes party (where the cake was a diaper cake and people could help by contributing dippers and wipes for the up coming months ahead. It is always fun to throw a baby shower no matter what number child the person is having.

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T.M.

answers from Denver on

My mother gave me a baby shower for my second child. Both of my kids are boys. There was so much I needed for both kids- clothes, stroller & infant seat, chaning table, etc. I think it is fine to have a baby shower for each child. It's a celebration for that child and each child is such a gift.

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