My little one always cries and gets very distressed when being put to sleep whether in arms or in the crib. It is not till he starts crying hard to the point of screaming that he wil then fall asleep - as though he is fighting sleep.
We have tried lullabies, reassurance, singing, sshhing, patting etc and though he may seem okay at the start of the routine it always ends in a battle of tears whether its for naps or sleep.
We know he does not like being put down to sleep but he even cries when being held as soon as he seems to realise we are doing the sleep routine.
occassionally when out and about or held by grandparents he will fall asleep without crying...
what can we do as sleeps/naps are always so difficult?
**MORE INFO** thanks for your responses so far.. just to reply to some of them, he is exclusively breastfed.. i did consider whether he was overtired and in some instances i know he is. in those cases he is worse when we try to put him to sleep as he will thrash about even in his swaddle. though i have tried many times to catch him at first yawn, and he will happily be rocked/sung to in bed up to a certani point where he will start to cry, at first the odd cries like protesting and i wll just comfort him calmly but these always escalate to a non stop loud cry where it is difficult to comfort him - only then does he close his eyes and fall asleep after.
My daughter was the same way. In fact, that's how I knew that she would be asleep soon was because her cries got worse. i always called it her last stance before giving in to sleep.
You didn't mention how long his crying lasts. If it's for no more than five or ten minutes, I would simply be nearby and listen to the cry (just to be sure you don't hear distress that may need to be addressed in his cry). If it goes on for longer, then pick him up do another diaper check - see if he may still be hungry - and once you do that try laying him down again. I've cared for children who simply seemed to need to have a crying time before going to sleep. It may be that's your little guy's situation. I know it's difficult for a parent to listen to their child cry, but as long as his needs are met, and the crying doesn't last more than ten minutes, it shouldn't be a problem to allow him to cry himself to sleep.
If he falls asleep easily in Grandmas arms sometimes, it sounds to me like it is not the sleep he is objecting to, but the drawn out "sleep routine". Try a totally different routine. Or, no routine. My little ones both got too hot if I tried to swaddle them for any period of time. They still get over heated easily.
It might be some kind of food intolerance. Babies get whatever you eat through your breastmilk and something could be giving him an upset stomach causing the crying. Is he usually fed right before it is time to go to sleep? You mentioned he will sometimes fall asleep when out or being help by a grandparent, etc. I was just wondering if that might be because it wasn't actually a naptime so he had not been fed immediately before and it made it easier to go to sleep. Just a thought! Lots of babies are intolerant of wheat or dairy so you might want to try going off one or both of those for a little while to see if it makes a difference.
Hi S.---I'm not sure exactly what you might be able to do except to keep trying to soothe him until he learns how to soothe himself. I would only say that it's likely some sort of adjustment period for him and that this will soon pass. What to do in the meantime, that's the million dollar question. Have you tried putting some sort of device that makes white noise in his room?
Try going to www.askDrSears.com and see what advice he has about helping babies get to sleep. If he doesn't have any info on that subject, there is a place on the site for you to ask your question and then one of the Dr. Sears will answer.
Good luck, keep a stiff upper lip and I'd bet that in a week or two this 'habit' will change. Be well, D.
My oldest daughter did this as well and although it has shown up in different phases, it seems she needs some sort of release before falling asleep. Sometimes, we call it the "storm before the calm" because at 3, she will get really worked up and a little silly/loud and then just pass out. As she has gotten older, we figured out it's an energy/ pressure thing, so before bed and/or nap time we have her push against the wall. My husband holds her legs against his chest and she pushes as hard as she can against the wall with her hands.
If we do this, she goes to sleep easily. If not, it takes her a while to wind down. Since he is so little, try a little "exercise" maybe gently pushing against his legs, so he can push back?
Hope some of this info helps and I am sure it will get easier as he gets older.
Babies have energy and no way to get rid of it except through crying. I'm thinking the "very distressed part" is more of your feelings and not so much your babies.
My son went through this phase, as well (once they get more mobile, they will be able to work out their energy through movement). I would just simply hold my son over my shoulder and pat his bottom and say over and over (for my benefit mostly), "Sometimes babies just need to cry. It's okay."
It really helped and the crying didn't seem to last as long and I didn't get stressed out. :)
Best wishes, just my two cents,
R.
Both my kids did the same thing around 8 weeks, and I've had the experience with other moms (I'm a peer counselor with Nursing Mothers Counsel) that have mentioned similar experiences with their babies at the same age. It only lasted a couple of weeks, and while frustrating and heartbreaking for us parents, it could possibly just be part of an infant's self-soothing development. Just my humble opinion because if you think there could be something medical, don't hesitate to take him to the doctor to be sure!
I imagine the reason your baby will fall asleep without crying when held by other people is because they are calm and not taking the screaming personally. I speak from experience, I used to work myself up, feeling like a bad mother when my two would not stop crying and then feel even worse when someone else had them for 5 mins and they were out like a light. Now my kids are little older, I am the "other person" and it truly works... I do not take the baby's cries personally, I do not beat myself up for being a bad parent because it is not my child, and lo and behold the baby goes off to sleep.
My suggestion is to try and stay calm and perhaps catch him unawares without doing a "routine" before putting him in his cot. Do not make a rod for your own back by taking him into your own bed as this is only pushing the problem into next year or the year after, or as with a friend of mine 10 (yes TEN) years down the road...
Are you missing the sleep window? He may be getting overtired. Really watch for the signs. We had a non-sleeper. Didn't sleep throuh the night until 10 months. We stressed, pleaded, cried, prayed and read just about every sleep book. I liked dr. Weisbuth and Elizabeth pantley. My sister and gf swear by babywise, but I did n read that one. Are u breastfeeding or formula? Have you tried a sling? we also would bounce our daughter on an excercise ball. Just keep tryng different things and remember he's only 8 weeks! Hopefully you find something that works.
