Fussy to Sleep

Updated on March 24, 2016
J.M. asks from Milwaukee, WI
17 answers

Hi. My 2 month old son will not go to sleep without a tantrum. He is RARELY content during the day. I would think it is colic, but it is only during the day and only when he is tired and needs to go to sleep. I don't know what to do. He screams his way to sleep whether we swaddle him, pacify with a nuk, rock,I have tried everything.
any thoughts?

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So What Happened?

So, thanks everyone. Right now my dr. thinks it might be acid reflux. He is on meds for it and just started, so....we will see.

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

Is there a chance it's reflux? I ask only because my little guys had it and it gets worse when they were lying down to sleep. It took a while to catch on that the fussiness was not related to sleep, but simply because the sleeping position caused him pain. Just thought I'd mention it in case there might be other symptoms, too. Hang in there!

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K.R.

answers from Omaha on

Your son needs to learn how to put himself to sleep - I know 2 months sounds awfully early to be doing this, but they can!

Here's what I did with my now 3 year old and my current 7 week old - find a sleep time routine! For us I put my son in his sleep sack (he doesn't like to be swaddled), sing him 2 songs and then place him in his crib and turn on CD of lullabys. I only let him cry for a few minutes before I go and soothe him (then repeat the routine) but if it sounds like he's starting to dooze off I'll let him be. The first few days of this are rough, but we've been doing it for a little over a week now and my son is almost more relaxed now than ever when I start the routine - he knows what's coming!

Best of luck to you!!
K.

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T.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi J.,
I had this problem with my first son at about the same age as your son.
I FINALLY figured out, with the help of a friend who sent me a book, that he was way, way overtired and overstimulated by the time I was getting around to letting him sleep. I followed the advice in the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and would highly recommend it. For little ones your son's age, it recommends only about 1 1/2 to 2 hours of awake time before putting them back down for a nap (this makes for several naps during the day). Once I got my son sleeping more according to this pattern, he was SO much less fussy and so much easier to get to sleep. It was also easier to recognize his signals when he was getting tired. And I also could then get him to sleep much easier before he melted down into a major crying fit.
Hope this helps- I would highly recommend the book. It literally saved my "sanity" in those early months!!
Tami

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

You need a dark room without noise and a few good songs in your songbook J.. BEFORE he gets over tired, swaddle him up, sit in the rocker and softly sing your favorite songs as you rock him. Without any distractions he will probably fall asleep more easily.

We make the mistake as new moms of waiting too long to start the napping process. Once a baby is over-tired they become over-stimulated which results in under-napping.

Also, colic can be just a daytime thing, so don't rule it out as a possibility.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would have to say make sure it isn't reflux. We have a two month old who would cry all day unless I held him upright. And he would sleep at night but I think he was just so worn out from being in pain. His only symptoms were not being able to sleep in his bed, spitting up a lot and not just right after a feeding but in between too. There really weren't many symptoms but our first child had the same thing. So we knew what to look for. The doctor said it takes about 6-8 weeks for the reflux to start causing a baby pain. So it would make sense with the age he is at. Since it is your first it wouldn't hurt to go to the doctor and talk with them about it. Our little guy is on his 4th day of medicine and he is much better and is able to take his naps. Oh and with our first we thought it was colic too and let hers go for three months and by then it got really bad.

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S.L.

answers from Madison on

If you haven't read The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp, I would highly recommend it. This book teaches you the method to calm a fussy baby, whether it is colic or not. We used his advice with our newborn and found it really worked.
Hang in there, it WILL get easier.

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C.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

Have you tried co-sleeping? My daughter had a hard time falling asleep when she was that little and we ended up co-sleeping until she turned 10-months. It was great because I got to get in a little nap too and it definitely helped my energy levels. She's 13-months old now and she sleeps through the night in her crib on her own. We still co-sleep at naptime, but that's because I'm pregnant and exhausted all the time. She'll nap on her own too, if I let her. But I love the extra cuddle time.

Also, keep in mind that even 2 - 2 and a half hours is a long time for a 2-month old to be awake. That's usually about the limit at that age. Your baby should be getting in at least two, more likely three, naps each day. If you can, plan to stay home for a few days in a row and get him onto a schedule. When he wakes up, feed him and do all your normal things, and two hours after he has woken up, start the naptime routine...feed him, rock him, etc. If you have a set routine that you do before each nap and at bedtime, he'll get the message to sleep a lot easier. It might take a little work, but once he gets used to it, he'll sleep a lot better. Eventually, you might even have an easier time of getting him to sleep if you're out running errands or something (you might want to invest in a sling-they sell them at www.lucky-baby.com and at www.goo-ga.com). Good luck with it. It will all get better eventually.

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C.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have to also highly recommend the "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" book as a resource. It has worked very well for us, as well as for many of my friends who have utilized it for their children.

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E.2.

answers from Providence on

Try babies magic tea. If there is any tummy issue in your baby, it will soothe him instantly and safely.

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had two colicky boys and it can occur in the daytime too. Back when I had colicky babies it was defined as crying for at least three consecutive hours every day for at least three weeks. My oldest cried about 14 hours a day at two months old! I didn't like letting them "cry it out" so I got a good sling and would put them in the sling and carry them around so it left my hands free to do a few things around the house. That's how we went shopping too--baby in sling, packages and diaper bag in the stroller. Babies that age learn to trust people by knowing their needs will be met and they will be comforted. If it is colic it should end in a month or so--I know it can be tough. You might want to check with your pediatrician too; my oldest underwent numerous tests to rule out any medical problems other than colic. I've heard chiropractors can help colic. It wasn't a very well known option when my babies were little. A good resource for sleep issues is Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Davenport on

First, please don't leave your 2 month old to "cry it out". Your baby has a need, even if it's discomfort and he needs comforting. He's not throwing a tantrum. He's communicating with you the only way he knows how.
Second, the suggestions for more sleep are good ones.
Third, you should consider taking him to see a chiropractor. He could be out of alignment and uncomfortable in certain positions or all the time. Call ahead to make sure they are experienced in pediatric chiropractic. The adjustments on newborns are VERY gentle.
Good luck

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L.G.

answers from Des Moines on

J.,
I am sorry to tell you this, but it does sound like colic. I am a mom to a 5 month old who was severely colicky the first 3 months of his life. Your situation sounds very much like our situation and it was confirmed by the doc that he did have colic.
There is no reason behind it and there is nothing you can do for him. The best advice I can give you is to hold him through all his tantrums and soothe him with your gentle voice. Even though he may not stop crying because of it, it will be comforting to him knowing that you are there. My doc told us never to let him "cry it out" in his crib before the age of 4 months and never if they have colic. They need your touch and your voice for even the littlest bit of comfort it may bring. He will have to tire himself out and fall asleep but it should always be when you are holding him. Once he gets over the colic, you can start working on the proper sleep techniques, but for now, just soothing your little boy is the most important thing.
Also, colic is more common in boys than girls, something I found out, but it usually only lasts about 3 months on average. So please hang in there, because since you are already two months in, you probably only have about a month to go. Sometimes it lasts longer but sometimes less, but three months is about where it ends for most moms that I have talked to of colicky children.
Hang in there J., it will get better. Our life was miserable for the first 3 months, but now our son hardly ever cries and he is one of the happiest babies we have ever seen. He went from all cries to all giggles all the time. You are definitely learning the virtue of patience and it will help you later. Our son is our first child too and i just thought I was doing something wrong, but there is just nothing you can do for them when they have colic. My MIL told me just a few days ago, that as easy as it is with my son now, is as easy as it is from day one with parents whose babies don't have colic and I got so jealous that most parents get days like these with their children from day one, but we got through it and so will you.
Good luck J.....hang in there....it will get SO much better, I promise.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our baby was the same way. A lot of times walking around the house calmed her down and she would fall asleep. I pretty much cuddled her and walked or rocked until she fell asleep. Sometimes I wouldn't be able to handle it anymore so I would put her in crib or boucy and do something else (like shower or laundry) and come back if she wasn't sleeping.

Are you nursing? Nursing really helps mine sleep even if she's not hungry. She will nurse for a minute and be sleeping. I think it's just relaxing for her.

Hang in there; it will gradually get better.

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C.T.

answers from Minneapolis on

If it's colic I don't know how to help you, but if it isn't: Make sure he's getting enough sleep...to do this he needs to learn to put himself to sleep. Many times kids get over stimulated if you wait too long to put them down for naps or bed time. When it's nap time you lay him down...let him cry. (He's young enough that it should only take about 3 days for him to get it.) If you have a hard time doing this, you can put a loud fan or humidifier in his room to help block out the crying a little. Also, feel free to go check on him every 10 minutes, but don't pick him up. He will get it. Do the same thing at bed time & consistancy is the key. So do the same thing until he gets it. Using a nuk has been helpful for both of my kids...so, keep that up if he likes his nuk. My son was sleeping through the night at 3 months and my daughter was 4 months (which is a bit old in my opinion)before she was, but it's worth it to let them cry it out for a couple days in order to get the rest you need to be a good mom for them.

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L.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Maybe he is overly tired. Maybe he is SO tired and when he isn't falling to sleep right away he's getting frustrated??? Usually, the more well rested a baby is the easier he/she will go to sleep and the longer they will sleep. My son was sleeping 8 hours overnight, 3 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon and then like an hour and a half in the evening. Something like that. So at 2 months I think they need to get like 14 to 16 hours. Although, every child is different. I know there are mothers out there that have 2-3 month olds that sleep only 10 hours. I would try putting him down for his naps a little earlier than usual. Also, it could just be a matter of needing to burp, so if he's really gasy and his tummy doesn't feel good he's going to do what he can to get that burp out. When my son was that young, for some stupid reason I didn't rock him before putting him down for the night because he was already up to long and up to late. Well then he'd be moving all over the crib and making noises for 30 minutes anywayz. I finally started rocking him at 3-4 months. Then when I started giving him rice cereal at about 4 months I moved back his bedtime to a more decent time.

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M.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

The first three months with both my kids were full of fussiness and crying like crazy. It drove me crazy. It could be colic. Try gas drops and moving his legs like a bicycle or bending his knees to his checks to help get any gas out if he has any. He could be too hot or cold or hungry. They tend to eat more during certain periods of growth and maybe he's in such a period. After you've tried everything just let him cry it out and check back after 15 minutes or so and check everything you can again and try things again like the nuk, bottle/breast or swaddle etc. If you try everything again and still no luck I'd just let him cry it out again for 15 minutes or so. He might want a change like take him outside or try a swing or another toy. Maybe he's over stimulated from toys. I wish you luck. It'll get better in a month or two.

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L.M.

answers from Des Moines on

2 thoughts. My daughter had some trauma when she was born, long labor and she was sunny side up. I took her to the chiropractor at about one month of age for the first time. Find one that is reputable, not just anyone, but now I take her about once a month maybe. The spine can affecta lot of different things! My daughter (now 14 months) fell off the couch 2 weeks ago, and I didn't know it at the time, but it jarred her shoulder blade pretty bad. She is sometimes sore the day of the adjustment, but feels great after an adjustment. 2nd thought would be an ear infection. Have you taken him in to the doctor? The crying at naptime/bedtime is classic symptom because the pressure on the eardrums increases dramatically. The first time my daughter had one it seemed like she all of a sudden didn't like naps. She would scream eveytime we would lay her down!

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