1 Year Old Hates 5 Year Old

Hi J.. I am a single mom of 4. My first 3 where close in age and they would always fight. They did get along sometimes but I never spoke to soon. now they are ages 19, 18 and 16 and I am still telling the oldest to leave there brother alone. I now also have a three year old and find my 16 year old who always got picked on trying to get on the little ones nerves. I do beleave it is part of having siblings. I can tell you this, they will not let any one else pick on there family. They are very close when they are out with there friends and that is when I see them as true brothers and one Sister.

Normal. Yes. You might take the five year old to the side and give her things to do that will take time away from baby sister. Like folding socks/small towels/her undies...

Dear J.,
I have a total of four children, all girls from 26-10 and two grandaughters. I always found that when one child began to "mother" over another child that redirecting and emphasizing the age difference helped. My recommendation would be to let your 5 year old take on small responsibilities like taking a bathroom trash can and emptying it to help Mom clean up. Make a point to tell the 5 year old that because she is so big, she can do these things that the others can not. Also remember with rank comes privilage and perhaps allow the oldest one to have a special treat or snack or an outing just for her. Tell her that the others just aren't big enough to do these things and you are so proud of what a big 5 year old she is. It is my opinion that when a older one does the things you are seeing, that they are trying to find a place. To be more like Mom and be "the authority" or sometimes they regress and become more like the babies..try pointing out to the five year old what a wonderful thing being 5 is and you may find that the need to tend to the little ones may not be so intense. Hope things get better for you soon. M. T

I am 36 and my sister is 41...she still gets on my nerves!!! The light at the end of your tunnel may be very far away!! It will probably lighten a bit, but it will always be there.

Just a little laugh for ya'!!

Margaret:)

i could tell you that it gets better but i would be lying. they love to aggrivate each other, or mine do anyway. you just have to learn to tune them out so they fix things themselves. they have to learn that you are not going to deal with everything for them.

have a great day and i wish you lots of luck!!

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
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