9Mo Old Boy and Just Found Out Pregnant Again Scared Out of My Mind!

My last two kids are 11 months apart, the last 3 are all within 27 months. Challenging, yes. But you get a routine, and it falls into place. I have 9 kids total, so it can be a real challenge, but I wouldn't change a thing. Okay, the 3 kids in diapers kind of sucks, and the recent pukefest we just went thru I could of done without, lol.

My two are 17 months apart..both boys. I was scared when I found out I was pregnant too. My husband was really excited though. But it ended up not being as hard as I was expecting. You will get through it! My boys are great friends and love to play together now at 3 and 4.

For many years I was licensed for 10 unrelated children while I was still young and giving birth to my own. At times I had 2 infants under 1 in the daycare while I also had my own infant. In fact, with each of my children I delivered I had just started babies that were only maybe 6 weeks older than my own. That meant I had 3 under the age of 1 and a whole herd of 2 and 3 year olds.

I won't say it's easy or make light of it. It's not for the faint of heart and the kids will have to come first. But there are a lot of great things going for you now I didn't have back then. For one thing disposable diapers are so much better so rashes should be non-existent unless they have a virus. We have cordless phones now. Sometimes you just HAVE to talk with another adult and you need to have your hands free to chase the kids. So invest in a headset for your household phone. Wooohooo! I used to drag around a 25 foot long cord! We have DVR's now too. Back in the day VCR's were new and 400-500 dollars and the tapes were expensive and recording anything was a pain. The channel had to be on and set to it so you'd catch bits and pieces of it while it was recording and then not really want to watch it anyway.

Anyway, you need to do things for you. So make sure you are reading or recording tv for yourself for during naptime or after they go to bed. Oh and lets not forget the internet! When I was a young mom no one had time for me, a boring stay at home mom/daycare provider. Now we can reach out to others online in the blink of an eye.

But you aren't a new mom. So your experience will give you a leg up. I don't blame you for being nervous. But you'll do great. :)

Oh and don't forget how GREAT the infant toys are now! That's another thing that has come a long, long ways. Babies today are so lucky and so entertained!

Suzi

Hi J.,
You will be fine I have three children and the first two were five years apart, but the two younger ones are only 20 months apart. We have two in diapers as well. It is challenging at times, but I seem to get through the hard days. You may want to set up a support team to help out when dad is at work. My friend has two little ones about 10 months apart, husband in the Army, and she was on her own for about the first year after haveing her second one. She surrvived so I know we can!!!
Best of Luck to and your big family!
C.

Hi J.. I found myself in your situation seven months ago. I knew I wanted another baby, just not so close to my daughter. She will be 18 months old when my baby boy arrives. At first I was terrified at the prospects of having 2 so close in age, but after thinking of all of the benefits of them being so close together I felt better. My mom had five kids under five at the same time and has told me that when the time comes you just do what you have to without even thinking about it. I also had one miscarraige before my first and really struggled through it so now I am just taking both of my babies as a blessing. I know things will be difficult with 2 in diapers, but I also have a strong support group of family and friends close by that I can count on if I need to. I hope I have made you feel a little better!

You are in the very same position I found myself in about 6 years ago. I was scared witless...as a matter of fact, I didn't even WANT anymore kids! I was so scared...how could I find time for ANOTHER baby when I hardly had enough time for the one I had!

Believe me...it WILL be okay!!!

It IS tough at first...but there are definitely pros to consider.

Think about this:

As babies grow, they become less needy of our complete attention. You can allow baby to play alone for a while in the play-pen or bouncer while you do things you need to do...your needy 9 month old will not be as demanding of your attention at 18 months when your new one is born. It just seems to work that way...

Other things in your child's development will seems to work out that way too...instead of worrying about two kids doing the same things, you'll have one in one stage and one in another. Luckily, the younger will be doing the same things big brother did, so you'll know just how to handle it.

Your kids will never lack a playmate. My boys play together all the time, hardly ever fight, and share all of their toys.

You will get your kids out of diapers in a relatively short timeframe. The younger will take less time, since big brother will be his role model.

Three words: Hand-me-downs. It's amazing how much money you'll save on play clothes.

I am so glad my kids are close in age...honestly, it makes things easier on me (though it was tough when they were both little)...they spend most of their time together and learn from one another's mistakes. They also aren't as needy because they give eachother attention...and as a mother who was single for a very long time, that made a huge difference in my life.

Anyhow, I'm rambling...but I think you get the jist of what I am trying to say. Having kids who are close in age is fabulous! Don't be afraid...make the best of it.

Hi J.,

My kids are 18 months and a day apart. I had a very active 9 month old who was still nursing when I found out I was pregnant again. I can't say it was easy. I do know that I learned a lot and we used to sit on the couch and pretend it was a fire engine so I could nurse the new baby, my daughter. Or I really relied on my friends and husband to help when the new baby needed attention because my 18 month old was used to having me all to himself. Too early to explain sharing!

I have to admit that my son learning to dress himself and use the toilet changed our lives! I just set my mind that we were going to do marathon child care for a couple of years. Now my kids are 7 and 8. I've been completely enjoying them for the last several years. I loved them and enjoyed them when they were very little, too, but it was so much work. Now we have fun together and they are truly helpful and they are very close to each other.

I guess my point is that even if it is a workout for a while, it will likely pay off with closeness and fun and relaxation for longer periods of time as they get older. Also, I've notice with my friends who have bigger families. The older kids are usually amazingly helpful with the littler ones. And the littler ones ADORE the older ones and reward them with many smiles and laughs for their efforts.

I am wishing you much energy, love and peace as you come to terms with you new family member!

All the best to you,

L. C.

I had a 4 month old girl when I foumd out I was pregnant. I niw have a little boy too! My children are 13 months apart. It was freaking hard at first, two in diapers, nursing, bottle...on and on, but they are 3 and 4 now. I wouldn't have it any other way. It is like twins, they are very close, play together and fight together. It isn't going to be easy at first, but you are a mom and you'll know how to handle it! Good luck, just think of the new little one you will be holding soon, maybe this time it will be a girl...she will be able to put all those brothers in their place! L.

you poor poor thing! mine is 19 months and the thought of getting pregnant again still scares me! my best friend's brother came 11 months after her...i still remember hearing the stories about how her mom almost wrecked the car the day she found out! i don't have any advice but i know this - we all adjust. we deal with what we're given and it becomes our "normal". GOOD LUCK and i know you can do it! (and maybe you'll get a little girl this time!) good luck good luck good luck! hang in there - you'll do great! (and ask for lots of help when you need it!)

My 3rd and 4th kids are 17 months apart - I had four kids under six. My cousin had four kids under five - middle two were twins. There are advantages and disadvantages to kids being close in age or far apart in age. I was terrified, but my youngest two were practically raised as twins - only it was easier than twins. One could sleep through the night before the other was born. It's really great having kids so close in age because they're more on the same level with what they are able to do and enjoy. My two "little ones" are much closer to each other than they are to their older siblings. You have kids who are old enough to help out, so that makes it easier. Relax and enjoy it. There will be some rocky times at first, but you will love it!

My kids are 13 months apart. Trust me, I know exactly what you are feeling right now.

The first month or so was a little hard, but after that, I figured out a routine and it's worked really well ever since. You will find your own routine too-it just takes a little bit of time. The good part is, you have 2 older kiddos, who can be your "special helpers" and get you diapers, bottles, wipes, etc.

Don't feel all bogged down. It's really overwhelming feeling while you are pregnant, but I PROMISE it gets better.

Try to remember that these 2 kids are going to be the best of friends b/c they are so close in age. Many people asked if my kids were twins for a long time.

Everyone says the first 5 years are the hardest, but my kids are only 3 & 4 and really, the first 3 months were the hardest for me with the first month really really hard and scary for me.

Good luck and I promise, it will be worth it!!

Maybe I should put you in touch with MY mom. When I was 9 mos old, she got pregnant with my brother.

We were pretty competitive as kids and there was a lot of sibling rivalry but Mom did fine and you will, too. As for my brother and I, we both turned out OK--but I'm still smarter than he is.

my mother and her sister are exactly 9 mo apart, if you could imagine.(our family joke is that they are 9 mo and 45 min. apart! lol) i'm familiar with the surprise baby (or two!) i think you'll be fine and rise to the challenge! it speaks mounds of you that you know how to reach out for help! i know it is scary, but like i said you'll be great! meg

HEY J.- how are you feeling today? (sat.) i hope you're feeling better. you've gotten a lot of wonderful, loving responses here. you are surrounded by lots of moms who,given the chance, would love to give you a big group hug. hey! maybe your husband would give you a hug for us?!?!

My oldest was 2 1/2, daughter just turned 1, when I found out I was pregnant with our 3rd! To top it off, my husband got deployed and I was without him for a year. I must say that time in my life was a blur...my kids are now 7 1/2, 6, and 4 1/2. The great thing about being close in age is that they share a lot of the same interests-TV shows, toys, going to the zoo, park, etc. and when they were younger, I could buy diapers in bulk and if they grew out of them, I could easily use them for the next one! Yes it was stressful getting to the grocery store and all, but the trade off for me is the closeness they share--we had to work as a team and the older two loved helping me. I think when kids are 4-5 years apart, they struggle during the teen years "relating" to each other. Try not to worry about what others think, this child will be a blessing to your family and you won't be able to imagine life without them! Take care.

Hi J.
I've been exactly where you are. My son was 8.5 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. I was concerned but happy about it, my husband on the other hand was less than thrilled. It can be challenging and overwhelming at times, some days are just plain chaos, but in the long run it all works out. It really isn't all that much different having 2 babies in diapers, I honestly found it to be easier than just having one child in them.
As the months went along I would try to explain as best as I could to my son that he would be getting a sister (I found out the sex--I'm one of those need to know people) and how he could help me when the baby was born,etc. Surprisingly enough the day after I had her he came to the hospital with my gramma to see the baby and we let him hold her(with help of course)and I have the cutest picture of him kissing her. When she came home I would let him help feed her bottles, bring me burp cloths, diapers, etc. I would let him watch me when I changed her or dressed her, and I would let him sit in the bathtub while I bathed her. When I would sit on the couch and feed her the bottles I would have him sit right next to me and we would watch movies, cartoons, etc.

to this day they are very close (they are now 4 & 2.5), don't get me wrong there are days that they fight and hit and drive me crazy, but he is very protective of her and she is the same of him.
He is still very helpful with her and he teaches her alot and they do play well together plus they can entertain themselves for hours. Now if I could only get them potty-trained!!!

Think of this new baby as a blessing and enjoy the pregnancy!!! After you settle in with the new baby you'll find that it really isn't that much harder have 2 small children as opposed to 1 you just have to find a system that works for you.
Good luck and God bless!!

My 2 youngest are 18 months apart and its not as hard as you would think. They do fight alot since they are 2 ( soon to be 3) and 4 but my oldest fights with them to and shes almost 9. I got pregnant when my daughter was 10 months old but had my son early. It wont be as hard as you think ;).

As some others said you will make it! My youngest two are 17 months apart to the day. I was lucky because the older one was very advanced for her age and that helped, but they do fight and some days, I won't lie it makes me crazy - but you know what, you won't change it for anything because the sweet sibling times always make up for it!

My children are a little similar to your situation we have a span between them too - our childrens' ages now are: 17 year old daughter, 16 year old son (who we adopted when he was 13), 6 year old daughter and our youngest daughter is almost 5.

We love them and try to stay sane during the fights that do happen - but the fun loving times are worth it!
Good luck!

I have 2 girls, 18 months apart. It is sooo awesome...though I really didn't think that until #2 was crawling. Finally, then, I could breathe! Now though, it is so incredible. They share a room, a bed, clothes, toys, friends...they like a lot of the same things but are also very different kids. They are best friends. I am so thankful we did it this way. At first its very hard, but you'll get through it. Just keep that in mind. My first was never jealous of the baby...thats something you have to worry about with older siblings, but she was still a baby. Our second child was a hard baby, and the first was such an easy baby...thats why I had such a hard time at first. Hopefully you have it the other way around! Don't worry, you're not the only one! I have a good friend who's kids are 14 months apart, and her youngest turns 4 tomorrow. She cried when she found out she was pregnant, but we were just talking about how great it is now. You're doing the right thing, even if you didn't plan on it!

Hi J.! I definitely know how you are feeling...my son was only 5 months old when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. It was certainly a little scary to think I would have two babies at the same time. But, I could not imagine my life without her now...she is...well they all are such a blessing, and while it will take some adjusting, I'm sure you and your husband will do great! And yeah, people will be shocked and look at you funny, but who cares! Good Luck!

I am a mother of 4 and my first 2 are 16 months apart. I was also scared at first to. But once you have them you just go with flow. It wasn't really that hard. And this was dealing with a husband who was a fulltime student and worked nights. A son (my oldest) who was up with the sun and a newborn that slept all day and didn't go to sleep till 2am. I now wonder how i did it but i did. But my son and daughter who are now 16 and 14(will be 15 next month)are very close. A least you have 2 older who can pitch in and help out. God bless.

J. - I'm glad you got so many responses!! I have a 22 month old and an almost 4 month old, so just have been through this and for my husband and I - it has been just great - we are getting ready to try for another.

For me, the hardest part was that first trimester of pregnancy with my crazy boy learning to walk and getting into everything while I felt sick and exhausted - that part was awful, but otherwise, we've had a good time.

My piece of advice is to remember to put your marriage first and keep it a priority. Babies can be bliss, but they can also be tough on your intimacy and the attention you give your husband - you and him should begin talking about that part of things right now.

You're problem will be sleep, but I'm not telling you anything you don't know.....
And you will have good days and bad, but again, not telling you anything you don't know.
But in the end, the idea is that your kids will be so close in age they will be great playmates for the rest of their lives and it will all be worth it.

And I say that, because my mother found out she was pregnant when I was four months old - and it was twins. So she had three babies in one year and nine days. However, to this day my brothers and I are the closest of friends and I consider them one of the greatest blessings in my life. We were playmates as kids, drinking buddies in college and now, have been in each others' weddings, watch our kids play together and are now helping each other through my mother's terminal illness. Which, obviously, is the reason I want mine close together as well.

We had three sons, and wanting a daughter, we tried one more time. Our sons were ages 8, 5 and 2 and a half years old. Our fourth child turned out to be twin boys! We had our hands full - but it worked out fine. With the support of your family, I think you'll be fine, too. By the way, we didn't try for a daughter after the twins came.

well if only you could talk to my grandma she could probably help you but she isn't interested in learning the computer or anything to do with the internet. She had 8 kids in 9 years. I guess with her it just took a lot of coordination and she has always stuck to a schedule. My Mom said she was very organized and consistant and all of the kids still get together throughout the year and all of the family is very close. She has 18 grandchildren and close to 30 great grandkids and we are all close too and try to visit as often as we can.
My brother has 2 kids 15 months apart and the youngest one was born with heart problems so it was tough for them to have a 1 yr old and a newborn that was in the hospital for 3 months before he could come home and has had a lot of surgeries in his life. They are now 18 and 17 yrs old and are very close and doing great.

Well I don't really have much advice other than to let you know you are not alone and many people have babies that close together. You will learn by experience how to deal with taking care of 2 that close together and the nice thing you have is your two older kids to help out with them. Enjoy all of the moments of your children's lives as they grow way too fast.

It will all be OK. Don't stress about the diaper thing. It's really not that bad. I got pregnant when my daghter was 11 mo old. I ended up having twins. My kids are 19 mo apart. Everyone asks about having 3 in diapers. That was never the difficult part. Still, I just line them up and change them all at the same time. There are times when I have to change one or two of them out of sync due to dirty diapers, but then we just catch every back up.
You will be fine. You willget excited when it is time.

Good Morning J. and Congratulations. Our son and daughter in law have 3 children. The two oldest are 16 months apart. We were all shocked and she even cried when she told me, she just wasn't ready either. After the shock wore off and our grandson was born it wasn't that hard really. Our little Angel girl was walking and talking some. She was able to breastfeed and while he slept she could play with our grand daughter. Tia was like a little mommy to Austin. Tia will be 9 this month and Austin 8 in August, then Asher will be 4 in July. It's doable J., and you will see it can be much easier all around. Not having to purchase new baby things. Well maybe baby cloths if you Are Blessed with a Baby girl this time :)

Your hubby and the older children will pitch in and be a big help to you.
Keep us posted, Praying for you, be happy and think good thoughts. If you ever need a shoulder or encouragements write to me. ____@____.com
This Nana loves babies.

In His Amazing Grace
K. aka Nana of 5

My second child was 5 months old when I thought I had the flu and was actually pregnant with our third child. Eight years later and a 4th child I can assure you there is life beyond diapers. I can be intimidating at first, but what helped me get through the first few months was getting them both on a nap and eating schedule. For me it was not easy the first couple of months, but once I got both on a schedule and stuck to the daily routine I was not as sleep deprived and things ran smoothly for the most part. There will occasionally be those days that there is a kink in the schedule, but sticking to our schedule to the best of my ability really helped them both. It helped the 2nd child make transitions from one thing to the other and it also gave me time to spend with her so she did not have resentment towards her new baby sister. The schedule also helped me to be the best wife and mother to our oldest as I could be with 2 youngsters under foot.

I was shocked the day the nurse came and told me the results of the pregnancy test. The best advice I ever got from a friend of mine who also have 4 children, was to get them on a schedule. It was a blessing.
My second child it 8 and the third is 7 now. Looking back, I have to say that I would have not done it differently. They have become good friends, and have played together through the toddler years. Having an instant playmate in the house made things a lot easier.
Congratulations, and Blessings to your growing family.

His J.,
I am a mother of three children 2 boys 7 and 6 (11 Months apart) and a little girl 4 years old. It was definately a shocker to find out that I was pregnant with having a 10 week old baby. My boys are the best of friends and if I could do it over I wouldn't. It was hard at first, my second son was coolicky for 7 months. If you have a good support system with your family it really helps. The time goes by soooooo fast. You will forget what you were worried about in the first place. Good Luck!
S.

I have a 4 1/2 year old, 2 1/2 year old, 14 month old and 6 week old. Three boys and my last one was a little girl. I now have three in diapers. It is a little hectic but you would be amazed at what you can do. I still go places it just takes me a little longer. Oh and the diaper bill is more expensive.

My two little ones are exactly 18 months apart, I found out that I was pregnant when my little girl was 10 months old and I was very shocked as well. I was even a little hesitant and unsure up to the moment that I saw my son. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. My daughter jsut recently turned 2 and my son is now 9 months old. They just adore each other and get along so well. I think that if they would have been farther apart in age they may not be as close as they are. So, while the feelings of anxiety are going to be with you for a while, it all works out in the end. I have found that "diaper duty" is best handled by doing them both at the same time, when one needs changed, I jsut go ahead and get the other child out of the way as well. By the time your newest addition arrives, your baby will be getting more adventurous and independent and everything will fall into place, on most days. I'm not saying that it is going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but you'll be just fine.

after trying so hard in the past to have babies, don't feel afraid feel very blessed. I think it's great, especially since you have a husband to support you.

you'll have a great big beautiful family in the end.

A friend of mine had 2 children less than 1 year apart and says it is one of the best things she could have done. The older is a girl and the younger is a boy but they are like best friends. Being so close together they have the same interests and physical abilities. She says it has made then closer then siblings 3-4 years apart. It will be great for your son to have a sibling so close to him, especially since your other 2 children are so much older. It will be great - enjoy!

J.,
My 1st & 2nd were 15 months apart and my 4th & 5th were 19 months apart. I must say, it was easier with the first two being 10 years younger. Although, with the last two I had older children to help. It can be overwhelming at times but as I look back, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. The two oldest are both girls and are still very close. They are 22 & 23 (both girls) and are roommates in college. The younger two are 11 & 13 (girl & boy)and are very protective and supportive of each other. The 3rd child (girl) in very independent and a free spirit.
You will find that planning ahead and organization is key to survival. Have fun with them & cherish everyday. Know that what you are doing for your children & husband is the most important part of your life! :)

J.,
It will all be fine you are not the only one. I can't say that I have personally went through this, but I know someone who did, not to mention she was on the pill when she got pregnant the second time so she was VERY shocked. She was very scared at first, but had you know about 8 or 9 months to adjust to it, and turns out it really isn't that bad before too long they both had someone to play with all the time where my daughter being an only child never has anyone to play with but me. My Grandmother says if your gonna have one you should have at least 2 and have them close together, that way they are close, and you get them in school together, and out of the house when they grow up around the same time. She had one miscarriage followed by 4 kids my Mom and 3 boys all 1 year apart from the previous one. I personally think that is crazy but she constantly tells me how I am depriving my child of the joy of a sibling and that she is going to grow up to be a spoiled brat, I say oh well I guess she'll be a spoiled brat then, because my husband and I have no desire to have any more. Our daughter will be 4 at the end of August and really is all we can handle, but we love her more than anything, she just has way more energy than us. Hope everything works out for you, and may I suggest if you believe in birth control, Mirena, after the baby is born, if you don't want anything permanent. It is 99.9 percent effective and the side effects are wonderful, I have not had a period since the one that lasts 2 months after you give birth, almost 4 years ago, no pill to take no nothing other than you go once a year for your Pap and they check the placement. Anyway hope it all works out for you, good luck!
M.

It may be seem scary now, but thankfully you have a few months to get used to the idea. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and have six children. #1 and #2 are 13 months appart (your two will be around 16 months appart), #2 and #3 are 26 months appart, #3 and #4 are just under 12 months appart, #4 and #5 are 24 months appart and #5 and #6 are 18 months appart. When my 4th was born I had a 4 year old, a just potty trained 3 year old and a not quite one year old. I have to say that was the scariest one for me. However, it all worked out fine and I would not change anything now. I had 6 children 8 years old and under. Many people thought we were crazy and wondered how we could survive, but it really wasn't that big a deal. Now if someone had just given us 6 children ages 8 and under all at once that might have been different, but we had time to ajust with each one and each one fit right into their place in the family no problem. We now have two incredable teenagers, two wonderful preteens and two sweet youngns. We are a very happy and close family who love each other very much.

I know I tend to go on and on, but I am sure you will be fine and will find it is not as scary as you thought it might be. Like I said, you do have a few months to prepare I think God made things that way to help us ajust and prepare for the new arival. By the time the baby gets here we are just thrilled to meet the sweet little one.

I can also tell you from experience that people can make some very rude comments that may seem mean. I don't think they are trying to be mean I think they just start talking before they realize what they are saying could sound rude or hurtful. We were teased a lot and many times we were asked, "You do know what causes that don't you?" At times it was funny, but as it went on and on it could get rather old and hurtful. It can be hard but try to just let it go in one ear and out the other.

Good luck and God bless!
Dione - (wife to my wonderful high school sweetheart Bill and homeschooling, stay at home mom to Kaylyn-almost 15, Max-almost 14, Cassandra-11, Justin-10, Levi-8 and Faith-7 in 2 weeks)

J.,
My daughter was ten months old when I found out I was pregnant with my son. We planned and tried so hard for our daughter ... I felt overwhelmed! I was uncertain how I would be able to love another baby. You obviously already have other kids so probably not a major concern for you. The first year was hard from an expense standpoint ... but I always told myself that God does not give you things you can not handle. It got much easier as time went on, they actually end up liking and being into the same things. Mine our 8 and almost 7 now and although they bicker and fight like brother and sisters do.. they are very close to each other. Hope this helps.. Good Luck!

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Try consignment shopping
I also used some generic brands.. they were just as good and saved alot of money

J.,
It will seem a little over whelming at first, I did the exact same thing, My oldest daughter now 7 Feb Bday, was 9 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. So I had another girl in Aug. They are 18 months apart. So my experience with the whole deal was...yeah it was hard in the beginning 2 in diapers, the oldest still dependent for everything and then a new born. Now, they are 7 yrs and almost 6 in Aug. and they play great together for the most part, as in they are into the same toys, but they are typical sisters and fight also. It was hard to adjust, but everything that is a foreign situation to you takes time and adjustments, it will be fine.
Good luck.

Hi, J.!

My son was 10 months old when I found out I was pregnant again. That was not in my plan yet so I reacted the same way you did and my husband was calm, cool and collected. Our kids are 19 months apart and can be the best of friends or the worst of friends. It is really like any other sibling relationship.

What's really nice after the baby period is over, is that they are pretty good playmates. They often keep each other occupied. Another thing I thought worked out well is that my son had no jelousy issues. He was too young to figure out his baby sister was taking up some of his time. That was nice since I had heard some pretty horrible stories of sibling rivalry. My son even "helped" by getting me a clean diaper to put on the baby. He wanted to try and help and was pretty much just curious.

It wasn't easy having two little ones. I'll give you that. You'll find ways to work around feeding the baby. That was probably the most difficult time. Try to give your son something fun to do when you need to feed the little one. My son just didn't understand that I couldn't get up and do things for him or play with him when I was nursing. :) I had to find other things to occupy his time while I was doing that.

Honestly, there is certainly a period of adjustment for the family, but I wouldn't change a thing about my kids' age difference. I love that they are close in age. It took me a little more time to get used to the idea but that's okay. I think we moms try to rationalize things too much. Just relax and know God would never give you more than you can handle. It WILL work out. Our daughter was certainly a surprise but the best surprise I've ever had! Hang in there! :)

Let me know if you have any questions. I hope this helps!
K.

Hi,
I do know how you are feeling. My son was 13 months old when we found out we were expecting again. I had only stopped nursing my son 1 week before we found out, I was so happy to get my body back to learn it wasn't going to be mine for 21 months again (with nursing). I was so scared and encountered lots of criticism. My best advice is to ignore them, if you had miscarriages before then just be thankful that you can carry another one. It took pills and help to have our first, and only two times unprotected to get my other son. When I had my second I had to have my tubes tied because of fibroids, and the doctor said after he cut my tubes that they were so scarred it was a miracle I had one much less two, so just be thankful and know it was meant to be. Now I have a six month old and a two year old and I love it. I find it easier than just having one. My two year old Zach is entertained by entertaing Jacob, and I actually can make dinner or do laundry!!!! I will tell you through the whole pregnacy I was so scared but the second Jacob came along I could not imangine my life without both kids. It also makes bathtime easier because they are close enough not to matter if they bathe together. And expenses are better because I still had evertything from Zach (toys, clothes, eating utinsiles etc.) hang in there because there will be days that you think you cannot get through being huge pregnant chasing another kid. But beleive me it is soooo worth it. If you need to talk or just someone to vent to feel free to e-mail me. ____@____.com

K.

My sister got pregnant with her daughter when her son was 9 months old. She too was scared out of her mind. Her daughter is 3 months old now and although she says it is tough she says it is not near as bad as she thought. Her little boy is so good with her too. I'm sure you will be fine. Good luck.

I had 3 children in 3 years, plus one older child from a previous marriage that didn't want anything to do with the younger kids. Yes it is hard, but at the same time you are already used to the diapers and getting up at night, you will just extend it a few months longer. My kids actually grew up being best friends, they had their moments sure, but they are still very close and watch out for each other and they are in the teens now. Consider yourself blessed and it will all work out, you husband is excited and put him to work with the older kids to do more around the house. Make it a game and reward the kids for their efforts.

The same thing happened to me. I had 3 children and along came number 4 when my 3rd child was 9 months old. I know exactly what you are feeling. Don't waste your time worrying. It will all turn out fine. My son, who was 17 months old when our daughter was born absolutely loved his baby sister. The older children, enjoyed being helpers with the baby. It went a lot better than I ever dreamed it would.
Just enjoy this gift and have faith in yourself. You might even be able to get your little boy potty trained, if you are lucky and he is receptive. No matter, it will work out. It really isn't as bad as you think. Good luck!

The Lord will not give you more than you can handle. Take it all one day at a time. Hopefully the older ones will help you a little.

Try to look at it as a blessing.

My two are 19 months apart - both currently in preschool. I think how difficult it is depends upon the temperament of the children. My first born (a boy) is incredibly high strung and very challenging. My daughter is relatively easy in comparison. There were ups and downs the first couple of years. On the up side my daughter caught on to potty training fairly quickly because her brother was still working on potty training when he was 3 1/2. They essentially trained at the same time. The other positive side is that now they play together very well. It took a while though - really when they were on the developmental level for peer play. Now, they both have great imaginations and can play together well for hours.

You also build up incredible muscles having to lift two at a time. You have another sibling who can use all those outgrown diapers. It also helps to get a sling or a baby carrier so that you can "wear" the smaller one when you need to have free hands for the older sibling. We called baby sister the Kangaroo baby.

I think it is important to play up those advantages the older sibling has over the younger one - what big kids can do compared to babies even if the oldest is still pretty little himself. It is helpful if you can still find time to be with them individually. It is good to interest the big brother in tasks you are going to have to do anyhow - cooking, cleaning. These chores then become together time rather than time taken away to do needed tasks. My rambunctious 5 year old has been helping me cook since he was a year. It is a great way to keep the interest of kids during a time when it could be potentially disasterous in terms of kid behavior.

I know a few other people who have their children 13 months and 15 months apart and they have had similar experiences (with less challenging personalities). Their children get along fairly well. Your situation I am sure will be that much more challenging since you have 4. However, you are probably now a pro at it. Your older ones are still fairly close in age. Congratulations on your pregnancy and the best of luck.

J., I had my first December 2005,

then my second December 2006,

and I am pregnant again due December 2008!

I just love babies. As long as you have a big baby-safe playroom it's incredibly easy and they LOVE having playmates.

BIGGEST ADVICE:
Have a routine!

J.,

I had 8 month old twins when I found out I was pregnant again. There was supposed to be 16 months between them, but the little one had to come early so there ended up being on 14 1/2 months between them. It was interesting have 3 children in diapers, but they all got out of diapers within the course of 1 year or so. It was a challenge, I won't lie about that, but it worked out nicely. They are now 5 1/2, 5 1/2 and 4 years old. Just don't stress out about it and don't worry about the shocked expressions that you are getting. It happens to all of us when there is so little space between children. Good Luck! ~J.

You know I have a friend who had hers this close and she loved it, The kids were the best of friends and I think from my outside perspective... the jealousy of the oldest just wasn't as intense as mine three years apart. I feel for you, but I think it will be good! Lots of best wishes for you and your family.

Your new mantra should be "it is what it is." :)

I have two kids as close together as yours will be. My son is 2 yrs 1 mo and my daughter is 8 months. It has definitely been challenging but things get easier everyday. A friend of mine who had a similar situation told me the first year with two that close together is the hardest. She has been right, but like I said the older my daughter gets the easier things become. I also know that these two will be best friends forever because of their closeness in age. Hang in there and don't forget to ask for help.

J.,

I definitely know what you are going through. When my 2nd son was 7 months old I found out that I was pregnant. I was so shocked that I didn't tell anyone but my mom for 3 weeks. I can tell you that things will be just fine. Yeah, you will be changing a lot of diapers, and it will be chaotic at times, but you will find out that the two little ones will be so close. Now, my sons are 3 and 21 months and they are the best of friends. They have an older brother who is 5 and they gang up and play tricks on him. There is never a dull moment. When I did finally tell my husband, he was excited too and said that everything would be just fine. He was right. Everything happens for a reason, and it sounds like this baby is a blessing. Good Luck. If you need any advice or someone to talk to my e-mail address is ____@____.com.

Get support. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Most people want to help, but don't know how. Get to know people now. Help out whenever you can and then think of the ways you will need help after the baby is born and ask for it. Line up playdates for the older ones and ask a really good friend to line up people to bring you food (that way you don't feel weird for asking). I am a postpartum doula and one of the things I see is people not willing to ask for help when others would really like to help you. I don't know if you will have a shower, but if anyone asks what they can get for you maybe you could ask for services as gifts rather than items. Unless it is a girl and then you'll have to choose whether or not you want to ask for cute little dresses. :) There are lots of services out there like mine that will give gift certificates like housecleaning, massages, even a babysitter. Hope some of these ideas help. Good luck. Oh and I had my two kids really close together, too. It is hard at first, but really nice now that they are older. They are doing things around the same time so we can streamline a lot of activities. Oh, I thought of one more thing I like to do. I make two dinners many nights of the week by doubling the recipe and then I freeze half for another time. That is something you can be doing now. Just make sure to seal is well and label it well so you can figure out what it is later. The crockpot is great for throwing everything in in the morning when kids are napping and then it is ready when everyone is tired and no one wants to make dinner.

J.,

Congratulations!

My baby was 3 months old when I got pregnant. I cried. But it was fine. They played together and kept each other occupied. Now that their late teens they are rascals to each other, but when they were little it was Awesome. They would talk to each other and act like they could understand some lanquage that only babies know. You just have to know that there is only so much you can do. Don't sweat what doesn't get done. Enjoy them - it will fly by.

L. B

J.,

Well congrats on the pregnancy! Everything will be ok I promise. You will be very busy I'm not going to lie but it's a lot of fun having them close together too. My middle daughter was 17 months when I got pregnant with our son. So they are pretty close in age (although yours is a little closer). But they have a very special bond now (now at 3 & 1 years old). I would change it for the world. See I have both I have a 13 year old that has 10 years between her sister and then I go to less than 2 years apart.

My days in the beginning were busy; but we really started pushing my daughter to get potty trained. It took awhile but she's finally potty trained (now if I could just get her to poop in the toilet we'd be doing really good.

Well good luck and things will work out I promise.

It is natural to feel that life is demanding too much from you in your situation. But, try to keep in mind that life is also providing you the great wealth of children. This wealth is yours forever! Most of them only wear diapers a few years. So, I will start by saying, "Congratulations!"

There are simple little wisdoms to consider. You are not thinking about becoming pregnant. You are pregnant. The design of a new human being is already in progress. If you can close your eyes and realize how happy you will be one day to see this child come to visit you with your grandchildren in tow, you will be filled with the joy and welcoming all children need to feel from their parents. The rest really is just details. There are things to be done, one at a time, just like every other day.

Remember that if you want to live to see those grandchildren, you will plan for your own care as well as your family's care. Teach your older children the joys of serving and helping with the younger ones. Let yourself imagine ways that will bring it all together and provide you all the support you need. It really is possible and many women have done this.

I was only able to bring one child through to birth. He is 22 now and is a delightful young man. Although I did not have children close together, I provided day care for my infant niece throught my pregnancy and the first year of my son's life. When my son was 5 months, my disabled brother and his wife moved in with that niece because he needed constant care for some months after a surgery. That was during the summer while I also provided day care for my 8 and 9 year old nephews. I know what it means to juggle responsibilities. As I look back, I realise how I wanted to be alone with my one and only baby I had waited 12 years to receive. But, I now see that it was important for an only child to learn that he is one of many. Only children often have a hard time learning to share. This was a blessing for my son. My 8 & 9 year old nephews were brothers which my sister had not quite 11 months apart. They are brilliant and wonderful young men today.

A very wise woman I met in my youth, Ruhiyyih Khanum, told me that whenever you feel you are in a time of crisis, remember to mentally back away and see it in the light of eternity. This allows you to see yourself coming out the other side of the situation and you will have a better sense of what strength of virtue you want to employ as you move through it all, so that you come through it with some joy and dignity. Those words have meant so much to me over the years.

I will leave you with some words that have gotten me through times when I felt squeezed by circumstance or was having trouble making choices: "...we must, in order to succeed in our aims, sacrifice the important for the most important." ~`Abdu'l-Baha

I pray you find enduring encouragement.

Hi J.,

I have 2 boys, 18 months apart. I thought the most difficult thing was when one was moving into a new stage, I was busy with the younger one and not really being as in tune with things as I had hoped. My advice is DON'T rush the older one to do things like potty train, move to a bigger bed, rush changes in food habits. Especially for boys (as my pediatrician has said), they take longer to move into different stages, on avg, I rushed my older boy and it caused him some problems - nothing serious - but just the same it was harder on him than it was me.

They are now 16 & 14 1/2. They share friends, but there's jealousy due to it. They seem to fight alot, but they are night and day, and they get on each other's nerves when they're not being best friends. I suppose that's normal. My advice here - try to recognize their differences and really allow them to be their own person - don't assume they're always enjoying the same things just because they've done stuff together for so long. I believe their true friendships will shine as they continue to mature.

My son was 9-10 months old when I got pregnant with our second son. We wanted them close in age so I wasn't in distress like yourself. It was a lot of work for me because we do not have family nearby or older children. But I found that once I was conditioned for a baby the second one was easier to care for. Have your older children help out by doing little things. The older siblings will love helping and it will make them feel good about themselves AND it will help you out. You will be fine! They grow up sooooo fast just enjoy every moment you can. I was tired but made it through. They are now 3 and 1 1/2. You will make it too! ( :
P.S. My sister's children are 11 months apart. She made it...she nearly lost her mind... but she is doing great now. (Haha)

Hi J....you can do it girl! Women do it all of the time, we are multi task handlers by nature:-)! Look at it like this...you have seven months left & that's plenty of time to get your son potty trained. You have all men in the house, so it should be fairly easy & if all else fails whip out that box of cheerio's & teach him how to aim & shoot but telling him he's trying to sink the cheerio's & before you know it he's potty trained:-)! This is a blessing from God..embrace your blessing & just pray to have a healty & normal GIRL! You have to be specific in your asking & prayers, you know? Good luck to you & God Bless!

Of course it overwhelming...but you will make it work. At least your husband is excited...usually the men are stressed out by the finacial responsibilities with another child so quickly. So your 9 month old will be about 18 months old, and you'll have your older children to help out as well. Don't let the anxiety get to you...ven though it's easy, but after having all those other miscarrages, think of this as another blessing. When I got pregnant with my 3rd (and last) he came a bit early thatn what we planned...we were not going to start trying until later in the year.....my husband was more anxious which made me anxious....and I couldn't enjoy the first weeks of knowing...until my friend who also was pregnant at the same time and lost hers a few weeks after we had found out we were expecting. She also found out she was unable to carry anymore children...anyway, just think of the couples who would give there kidneys to have a chld of their own and can't.....you are lucky it can happen for you.

I had my girls 13 months apart and it was very hard when they where young. The oldest was an awsome baby and the second was very colicly baby. I had them before the tummy drops. My youngest daughter did the same thing. Then she meet her husband she had know and had a third baby. The older ones will help with the younger ones. You never know my be this one will be a girl.

I have 3 kids and they are 3y3months, 22 months, and 8 months. There is 32 months between the oldest and the youngest.

The hardest things for me is getting ready to go some place it seems like it takes me forever and I am always forgetting something. Getting them in and out of the car without one of the kids running away while I am putting another in their car seat. Going thru a lot of diapers.

The good things are though is that they are already playing well together and can entertain themselves (the oldest 2 are girls). The 22 month old is already starting potty training because she wants to be like big sis. They are close enough in age that they like the same things pretty much. Unlike if you have one that is a few years older and wants to ride the bigger rides and one that needs to stay in the little kids area.

I kind of think once you get over the first couple of years it is much easier and really works out well having them close in age.

Good luck

M.

I totally understand. I found out I was pregnant again when my daughter turned a year old. They will be 20 months apart. My husband was also excited and it has taken me a long time to get use to it. I have a daughter that is 13 from a previous marriage as well. I am due in July so it I am 28 weeks. I keep thinking how are we going to do this. When I found out I was pregnant, I was just accepted into nursing school as well. It has been a lot on my plate but s the time gets closer, I am looking forward to having him.

I really don't have the greatest advice for right now, but my cousin-in-law is due @ the 1st of June & is planning on getting pregnant again in November. She swears that the reason that her sister & her got a long so well is because they were so close in age! Hope this piece of info gives you something to look forward to @ least! Good Luck & Congratulations!!! :)