Why Can't Baby Fall Asleep?

The first few months of life really are the 4th trimester (Happiest Baby on the Block) She is perfectly normal to want/require the rocking/motion to relax and get to sleep. That's what she was used to in the womb. Perfectly normal for her. Do you swaddle her for naps? Do you have a routine? You need to literally do and say the same things every single time so she learns what to expect and what is expected.

You can not expect her to self-soothe at this age. You just can't. She's too young. You need to watch her cues very closely. The moment she gives off the tired cues you need to start the nap routine. I would try swaddling her for naps and see if that helps. Both of my kids liked to be swaddled until they were 6 and 5 months old.

Babies have to be taught how to sleep. They don't just know how. That's where developing a routine that works for you and her comes into play. I always held mine until they were into the sleep cycle (about 10 minutes) and then kept them very close to my body while I leaned over to put them down into the crib. I was practically in the crib with them before I moved away but it kept them from feeling as if they were falling while I was putting them down. That and swaddling really worked wonders for my babies.

She's normal!
At this age, no, they don't know "how" to react to feeling tired.

A great book is: "what to expect the first year" which you can find at any bookstore or online.

Your baby is real good. AND she is normal. She is sleeping pretty darn good with 4-5 hour stretches. And yes, no baby, just falls asleep as soon as their hits the pillow. NO adult does that either.

Too young for sleep training! No need for that. She is a baby... a normal good baby.
Really. Don't worry.

Both my kids had all sorts of ways and noises and expressions before they actually fell asleep. Normal. Developmental. And per their personality. And no, just because they are rubbing their eyes & yawning... it does not mean they are "struggling"... it is often the way a baby relaxes and goes into falling asleep.
Keep in mind, that maybe she does not want to be interrupted when she is falling asleep... ie: maybe not rub her head and all that stuff. Let her be. My son, would actually get IRKED at me, if I interrupted his sleep and falling asleep mannerisms by my singing to him and rubbing his forehead etc. It sort of irritated him more. Then I discovered... that his pre-sleep noises were just that... and instead of my enabling him to go into HIS own relaxing & falling asleep mode... I was preventing him from doing that. Thus, him not falling asleep well. Because of me. He was able to fall asleep... on his own... and had a pattern of just making noises, grunting etc... then he'd fall asleep. So.. .the moral is: you need to know your baby's cues and what their various noises/cries mean... because, not all cries are the same and not all warrants intervention, from us. Sometimes it is just transitory "tired" pre-sleep cries which a baby does in a rhythmic way... and sort of like zoning themselves out... before they sleep.
--My daughter in comparison, LIKED to be rubbed as she fell asleep. Each child being different.

Keep in mind... that a baby's sleep patterns are NOT static nor set in stone. At each age juncture and developmental change and hitting milestones and teething and change in motor-skills etc., their sleep ability WILL change. They change. Sleep changes. It is NOT static...
Even toddlers, teens, college kids, middle aged people, elderly... ALL change in sleep patterns and ability... and THEY do NOT sleep the same way since they were a baby. If a grown up cannot sleep or has stresses... we don't 'train' them. We help them.
Same for a baby.
Go by your baby's cues... and personality. Not just generic methods.
Really get to know your baby's noises/cries and what it means.

Oh, and 3 months is a growth-spurt time... their intakes needs increases and the frequency of it. Every 3 months, is a growth-spurt time. Feed on demand.

All the best,
Susan

Your baby is too young to start any formal sleep training. I remember being so obssessed with getting my first into a good sleep pattern/routine. I feel like I wasted so much time and energy trying to get him to where he wasn't developmentally ready to be. No one told me that it isn't until around 6 months that most babies are truly ready to start sleep training. That doesn't mean you don't start creating some sort of routine, but don't expect it to be set. My advice to you is to follow her lead at this point. Also, young babies often make all types of noise falling asleep and even during sleep. It's not always an indication that something is wrong. It sounds like you've made a great start in getting her use to being in her crib. Keep it up, but be flexible. Another thing is to try to put her down to sleep before she starts acting really tired. Sometimes, kids get overly sleepy and then, ironically, find it hard to get to sleep. Hope this helps.

Welcome to the 4-month sleep regression. I have a 3.5 month old too. I'm tired.

it is a developmental issue, and it will last till 5 months. There is a major developmental milestone at 19 weeks (a wonder week). During this time, their sleep is becoming more like ours (why they can't fall asleep! and stay asleep! We went from 8 hours to 5!) I spent 3 hours trying to put my son down for a nap this morning. I didn't want him sleeping on me, so I just kept trying. That all we can do at this point.

Hang in there. This is a really rough patch that should improve in two months ;-)

In any case, google "wonder week" and "4-month regression."

Dear R.,
I agree with S.H. as my daughter was the same way (and still is)

Her way to fall asleep is:
- kicking her legs
- "singing herself to sleep" (strong strange noise that you may think as struggling
- touching her ear/ rubbing her eyes

I have to put her happy in her crib after our sleep routine and leave her alone doing her kicking/singing, so she can relax and sleep.

During this time, she is very sensitive to external stimulation and any noise/music/light/touching is disturbing her and then she cannot sleep. There is no way I can rock her to sleep or sing a lullaby until she sleeps. It just stimulates her and she gets overtired and cannot sleep.

Every baby is different. I used to rock my son and rub his forehead between the eyes and this worked for him.

I also agree with other posts that she is too young for sleep training. And completely normal, also. There is a reason everyone asks you "is she sleeping through the night": sleeping and feeding are the 2 big issues for babies and their parents. Having hard time to fall asleep doesn't show a developmental delay but on the contrary a very normal baby :-)

Good luck.

I think you're taking an awfully academic approach to this, when sometimes the simplest and most obvious solution is the best.

If she falls asleep well in a swing, keep putting her down in the swing. I put my son to sleep in a vibrating chair for months, whereas my daughter preferred the swing. Both of my kids enjoyed the motion-sleeping (I just invented that term, so don't bother googling it, lol) for a while and then, when that was no longer effective, happily switched to their crib.

I personally find motion sleeping to be a wonderful thing. For starters, it helps everyone sleep better. Win! Secondly, sleeping in a semi-upright position will aid your daughter's digestion, help with reflux (that's an issue with most new babies, whether it's severe or not), and keep pressure off the back of her head to avoid a flat spot.

In addition, using the lap/crotch belt will prevent her from accidentally rolling over in her sleep (or sliding around and getting her face tangled in a blanket) and possibly suffocating.

Plus, most swings are completely portable so she can be put down virtually anywhere.

So my advice is to start thinking of what's practical and easy, rather than what the "experts" advise in the million and one books on the subject...all with differing opinions, of course.

And who knows? Maybe someday I'll write a book about it. That and one on making tamper-proof toddler pajamas. ;-)

Best of luck to you!

-S.

In my opinion (simply based on personal experiences) it could be one of two things that we experienced with our children. 1, if she falls asleep being held or in fairly confined spaces it could be she has too much room around her and you may want to try either swaddling (can be done up to about 6months if baby likes it) or getting the baby nest to put in the crib if she is not rolling yet. OR 2, a lot of times babies actually need to have that struggle as they seem to fight sleep because they are getting rid of excess energy in their bodies. Their bodies are still trying to figure out certain things and the brain may tell baby she is tired but it takes a bit for the body to catch up or vice versa. She is really not too young to start learning how to soothe herself perhaps with her fingers or. A pacifier since she falls asleep with that final bit of nursing. The sucking sensation is very soothing for babies in general.

Relax. She's just beginning to figure things out. One thing that jumped out at me though, is that she is 3 months old and still taking a ton of naps. You said she is up for 1.5-2 hours then you put her in the stroller or swing to fall asleep. I think you should be moving towards just 2 naps, maybe a 3rd short nap at the end of the day. I think she should be awake for longer periods of time during the day. Maybe that will help. Good Luck! -M. of 4

I have a six month old that really does nap and well she is pretty much a nureser when sleeping as well. My arianna loses to fall asleep nursing please try not to worry it will pass things will sort themseleves out. I agree with the other posts about sleep training I think she is too young, but you are mommy so you decide what is best. Good luck and I hope it works out for you soon.

Babies that age still have enough body memory to expect to fall asleep as they did when they were being carried in the womb. If she needs to be held or rocked or nursed to sleep, do whatever she asks because her need to get sleep is so much more important than her ability to acquire it on her own. As for "sleep training", I agree with other posters who warn that she is too young for it. When I hear people talk about "sleep training", I wonder if they actually mean using a controlled version of the "Cry It Out Method"...in my opinion, all babies are too young for that. I mean, they don't use it in the nursing home, so why would anybody use it in the nursery with an infant?

Hi R.,
Just wondering if you put her to bed the same time each night? If you are it may be that you are putting her to bed too late. She may be overtired/overstimulated by the time she goes to bed. Try putting her to bed a half hour earlier until she reaches her natural time to go to bed. My daughter's bedtime was 6:30. We started at 7:30 and that was a nightmare. Try also reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I also agree with the other Moms. If she sleeps well in the swing let her. My daughter napped in her swing forever and eventually napped in her crib without any problems. Just give it time.