What Nurtures Genuine Contentment / Happiness for YOU?

Updated on February 20, 2013
P.M. asks from Canby, OR
13 answers

I don't mean temporary mood boosters like a surprise birthday party or a new car, but the core values related to family, work, financial success, social connection…?

I've been pondering this, especially since listening to an interview a few days ago with the author of a new book: Thrive, Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way. The author, a National Geographic Fellow, visited four surprisingly diverse places that are noted for happy residents, to tease out what made them good places to live. (link below in So What Happened?)

Some of the results surprised me. For example, Singapore is one of those happiest places. That's a pretty authoritarian society, where people can be caned or even put to death for certain infractions. Yet the citizens seem satisfied, ultimately, with the reasons for the restrictive rules. And in Denmark, with a 70% tax rate, citizens report a high rate of happiness.

My list: (Yes, all are number one for me.)

1. Connection to the divine, to spirituality, to like-minded people, and to diversity;

1. Access to natural beauty, open spaces, clean air and water, now and for future generations;

1. Access to affordable education for all (hooray for public libraries and the internet, but degrees are ever more costly for future teachers, doctors, and social workers);

1. Access to basic health and mental health care for all (I've been deterred for decades by atrociously expensive, but impossibly limited insurance);

1. Meaningful work, with everyone paid enough to meet basic needs (I love my work illustrating science books, but the pay hardly meets my stripped-down, simple lifestyle);

1. A narrower, rather than ever wider, gap between top and bottom incomes;

1. Safety and connection to family, neighbors, and wider communities…

1. I have others, but don't want to spend too much time on my soapbox.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

You can listen to the interview and read an excerpt of the book here: http://www.npr.org/2013/02/18/171926131/how-to-thrive-sho...

Thank you all for your responses, moms. I especially love the "feel good" additions – temporary mood boosts, but all having!

Featured Answers

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I feel the best when sitting reading in my garden, able to hear the birds and smell and see lovely flowers.

Moments of peace and union with the world, mostly.

2 moms found this helpful

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

Not to turn this political (even though I guess I am), but you have some strong socialist themes in your post. Coincidentally, I also recently read an article, something like "Top 20 Happiest Countries", and all top 10 were socialist countries. I thought that was really, really interesting considering the rampant fear of socialism that exists here in the USA. I work with a man who grew up in Denmark, actually, and he positively LOVES it, and is a self-proclaimed socialist and is proud of it. He was telling me about some of the luxuries that they enjoy there (and of course the downside WOULD be the 70% tax rate).

To actually answer your question:
I'm not sure, I'll get back to you. ha!

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

P., I wish we were neighbors! I think I would be content with that. :) Great list!

4 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I like your list. Mine would also include sensual things. Things that taste good, smell good, music, laughing babies, good food, things of beauty to look at. Things that FEEL good. Things that please our senses.

:)

3 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

America's free market society, where innovation, resourcefulness and creativity can still be financially beneficial to my son who should be allowed to do whatever he wants in his life, make as much money as he wants, keep as much money as he wants, be as wealthy as he wants to be, and still be respected as a citizen of this country.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

music

all day with a great book

a long run

babies and little kids

a sunny day and a river

**added: volunteering and giving back - very important to get out of my own head

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I love your list, and I was not surprised to find that Canada was #6 on the list of happiest places to live. We also ranked #1 in personal freedom. We pay high taxes, but it is worth it when you think about the eucation and health care. We certainly have the natural beauty, clean water and open spaces. I can honestly say that I have all of the things on your list, and I am happy where I am!

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wow, I must be a self centered person because although I like your list only your number one is on my list:)

In no particular order...
-Creating art (I am a glass artist)
-Spending time with my family in our hot tub. (This is when I feel the most happy and relaxed)
-Sex with my husband
-Girls night out with various groups of friends some going back to HS

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

To me, genuine contentment/happiness... is an internal, thing.
Not based on external whatevers.
And to know, yourself for who... you are or not. Your identity as a person as well. It not being based on external things.
That to me, is key.
Because no matter what is going on externally, or like satellites around you... it is the internal compass you have about yourself, as yourself, that determines how.... you are. Again, internally. Which is also emotionally.

Some people have an external locus of control or identity. Some have an internal locus of control.

2 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

Creating art and music
Bonding with my church and neighborhood communities

1 mom found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

The answer(s) to this question has changed for me over the years.. but currently.... What makes me happy is how I am learning to re-connect with my higher power as I know it... Allowing myself more freedom to be my authentic-self, which in turns helps me to allow others to be who they are..

I read a saying that goes, "Contentment isn't always getting what you want, but the realization of what you already have...." WOW.. I am blessed.. I have so much love in my life..

I also feel the most contentment when I feel grateful.. gratitude alone for me breeds contentment in my soul...

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

A loose list (since quiet playtime is wrapping up):

Doing a job and knowing I did it well. Very satisfying, no matter what the task.

Hard work. Especially something that requires me to use my body.

Working in the garden.

Making a good meal for my family.

Time alone. This really fills up my cup and it's been a scarce commodity lately.

Can't think global right now, as my timer just dinged and Kiddo call-- He's home sick today, so I'm on my toes!

1 mom found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

1) Spiritual connection
2) Meaningful connection to good people
3) Spending time with kids and raising them well, educating them
4) Being kind to people
5) Living healthfully
6) Accomplishing goals creatively (art)
7) Contributing to society (fighting for equality, less gun violence etc)

I've been concentrating on these lately, thus less time on Mamapedia :0 Good question, P., and yes, countries where citizens possess self discipline as a result of cultural discipline and contribute to the good of everyone through rules and with taxes are often happier. I lived in Europe for a long time, strict gun laws, high taxes and all-and they don't have NEARLY the hatred for each other and their governments that we free Americans do.

1 mom found this helpful
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