Health Insurance and the Right to Have Kids

Updated on May 30, 2011
S.S. asks from Osgood, IN
64 answers

ok so I found I was pregnant with my second child a couple days ago. Things are tight finacially but we will be able to provide for this child once its born, I have no doubt about that. However I dont have health insurance. I know the delivery alone will cost $7,000 because that is what it cost for my son, and there is no way we can afford such a large bill. plus alot of place will not do prenatal care with out health insurance (though ER are required to assist in delivery) so I would be going on pregnancy related medicade for the duration of my pregnancy. I was talking to my cousin about this, and she said "oh you're doing that again." (I had to for my son who was very unplanned) I said yes and asked if that bothered her (she is also my best friend and her opinion matters) she said "well I dont understand why you dont get on your husband's insurance." I told her he doesnt have any . she said "yes but they gave you the option last month." Techincally they offered him health insurance and the box for family members was blacked out, but still it would cost $110 a week for the whole family that means he would take home $170 a week from his main job plus about $100 from his second, and there is no way we can afford that. Now I am NOT having kids in order to go on state assistance, but I willing be needing assistance to have a healthy pregnancy. This is only our second child and it is the last we plan on having. what do you mamas think. Do I not have the right to have kids because I can afford the delvery, or because my kids would have medicade health insurance?

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So What Happened?

Laurie A: my hubby is 42 years old there is no way we could wait ten years to have had this child

I also want to add that we live in the middle of nowhere so my husband has to drive 30min just to get to the jobs he has. He puts in applications all the time to other companies and hasnt been able to find a better paying job. I AM planning on going back to school (my hubby has a college degree by the way) and studying to become an RN. (this is another reason we didnt want to wait to have a second baby I didnt want to delay my education.) So yes we do have a finacial plan for the future, plus within the next couple years there are several large expenses that should be paid off, giving us more money to work with. I should also mention that my husband and I dont recieve food stamps or any other assistance (though my son gets a little from WIC) he works two jobs and works very hard, and really wants this baby i dont see why he shouldnt have the family he wants. oh and i have learned from working hard and struggling my self that there is nothing wrong with nedding help to do something you want
Thanks for all the responses. As I expected I got about half and half. I thought about it and you know what for all you people who said that why should the tax payer pay for this? My hubsband and I are tax payer too! and would you rather see it going to crack addicts who claim social security, or to people who keep having kids just to STAY on gov. assistance. If you have never had to ask for help as a parents then good for you, I'm not that perfect.

Kathy I : the goverment does pay for college, do you know what a grant is? and your response it like me saying "why should my property tax go up because they are remodeling the school in town, my kid doesn't go to that school."

Jennifer D: my son does have health insurance, yes it is medicad but my husband's job does not offer health insurance for his children. Now I know alot of people are going to say that I am using the system for that, but I am not to proud to go through state assistance for health care for my kids. We provide him with everything else (yes he gets WIC but thats basically just milk and cereal he cant live on that!) and if health care was more affordable he wouldnt even be on medicade

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

It's not a matter of a right. it's a matter of.. either people can afford them or not... no judgement. it is what it is..

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

That's WHY Pregnancy Medical exists.

I CANNOT believe you've gotten slammed by people 'not wanting to pay' for your necessary medical expenses paid for by your tax dollars to cover a gaping hole in our medical system. Pregnancy medical EXISTS to help those who do not have, or cannot afford health insurance!!! No. Instead you should abort your baby rather than recieve safety net aid you've been paying into all of your family's working life (and will continue to pay into for the rest of your lives). You don't deserve a healthy baby because you have the INSANE opionon that you shouldn't give HALF your paycheck each month purely for insurance (and people complain that socialized medicine and free higher ed and 12mo maternity leave and and and isn't viable because HALF of our paychecks would be taken in taxes. So THEY won't pay half they paychecks, or lose their home, or feed their kids oatmeal every day... but you should. Mmmhmmm. And if not you "deserve" to have a child with birth defects/ stillbirth/ or even die yourself because you cannot afford prenatal care? Yeah. The "I don't want to pay for your ___" thinks out neither your life long contributions to the same fund, nor the very real risks (and astronomical side effects to both individuals and society at large) if 40 million people are denied prenatal care and hospital births.

I'm sitting here in Children's Seattle right now. 2 friends of mine (made here) have their babies in the NICU. Really, though, we should just toss them behind the wheel of a truck and back over them, because their families don't have insurance. Only the lives of the lucky or wealthy are important enough to save.

Turns your stomach, doesn't it? Just let babies die. If you don't have insurance your baby's life isn't worth my compassion.

I just so happen to have insurance. But that doesn't make me any better, or my child's life more important, than anyone without insurance. All 30million - 40million. I don't know about you... but that number means not only EVERY person in my city (all 2 million or so) not having insurance... but also the populations of NYC, LA, SF all together... whole vast cities worth of uninsured. It's a mindblowing number. And their lives and health are JUST as important as the CEO of a multinational with millions in the bank or my own broke but possess company paid insurance self.

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J.F.

answers from Omaha on

Makes a box of 36 condoms for $14 look like pretty cheap "insurance"...

16 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

You do have a right to have kids, but I know I have an Aunt (she is my age) and once she was pregnant with her 3rd child on public assistance, her doctor asked her if she was ready for a tubal or another form of Birth control?

My aunt was sharing this with all of us and no one said anything.. She asked, "well don't you think it was rude of her?" My mom said, "no, I think it is a good question."

If you cannot afford to pay for your pregnancy health care, maybe after this child is born, you could find a better birth control.

In my opinion, having a child is you and your husbands responsibility, not every one else's. There are times, when once you have a child, things happen and then you end up on public assistance, but this is to only help you to get out of this situation as soon as possible, not to perpetuate it.

I know we did not have our child for 10 years on purpose because we wanted to make sure we could afford the pregnancy, the birth and her care once she was born.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sure you have the right to have another child. I just don't see why I should pay for that - which is what you are asking me and the rest of the taxpayers to do. I chose to have a single child - I can afford health insurance, food, clothing, preschool, housing and college for one child. I have chosen not to have more - but I still have to pay for other people who have decided not to have health insurance. If you cannot afford health insurance for your family, then truly you cannot afford to have a child. What will you do if (hopefully not) one of your children has a major health problem? That will make a $7000 delivery look like peanuts. What will you do if your husband develops a health problem? There will be no one to pay the bills.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I agree with others, it's the issue of our TERRIBLE medical system. If you lived in Canada, or most of Europe...this wouldn't even be an issue for you! Have you worked most of your life? Has your husband? Then your tax dollars that have been removed from your checks, have probably more then paid for it. Health insurance is one area, where I am NOT proud to be an American. Will you be milking the system? No. You are stuck in the place MILLIONS of other Americans are stuck in. A place EVERY other developed country does not put there citizens in. If we had adequate health care, this wouldn't even be a question. Don't worry about her!!

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I think it's very easy to speak about "responsibility" when you're on the other side of the fence. But everyone should know that sometimes things happen that are beyond your control that can EASILY put you on the other side! Then things look a lot different!

I used to look down upon people on welfare and public assistance as "lazy." Of course I could! I grew in in a nice home, went to a wonderful 4-year college, graduated with honors and started working in my field shortly after graduation. Nice cushy job, nice health benefits. Bought my first car. Got married, bought a nice house and prepared to have kids.

Ha, sometimes life has a way of turning on you.

My husband suffered from post war stress syndrome and stopped working. I got laid off, couldn't find work. Lawyer bills, health bills mounted up. The recession hit, soon no one had work. I got divorced. I was barely scraping by. I was working, but not in my field and not making much. Had to declare bankruptcy lest the creditors take everything.

So you see, sometimes life has a way of turning on you. I declared bankruptcy and had to take public health insurance because I had no choice. Did I look for work? Absolutely! Was I picky? Heck no! I would have taken anything!

Anyone who has not been there does not know how hard it is to dig yourself out of a hole like that. I would not have believed it myself, I never wanted to declare bankruptcy! I thought that was for lazy people who bought too many shoes they couldn't pay for. But there I was with tons of medical bills and lawyer fees and used my cards for FOOD and GAS.

My point is, it's hard sometimes and you need to go on public aid. That's what it's FOR! If you worked, you're a legal citizen, and you're doing the best you can then take the aid that's offered.

My husband now owns his own business and we pay a lot for health insurance. Not all of us are cut out to work for corporations that offer insurance benefits. My husband tried that and he was miserable! Now we're attempting to live the American Dream by owning our own business, and boy, is it hard.

Congrats on your pregnancy. The final advice is take each thing you read with a grain of salt. Only you know what's right for you, and you have to live with your choices. Good luck!

13 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Reading on

It sounds to me like you already have your mind made up and you are just looking for reassurance.
If you do the math you would be paying less having insurance for one year for your entire family then it would cost you just for the delivery.
Also, you can make payments to the hospital and they can never put you into collections or make a mark on your credit if you are consistently making payments no matter how small.
Your budget is tapped out, and I understand that, but so is our country's.

EDIT: For those of you who said it was an unplanned pregnancy...RE-READ the post. It does not say unplanned pregnancy, her first was unplanned. In a previous post she expresses that she is trying for a second. Not that it changes anything but this was not unplanned.

13 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have mixed feelings about this.

Many of the women below are saying being able to afford health insurance are for the "lucky few" and I disagree with that. I am really offended by that!!!! Yes I am on my husband's health insurance through his work. We do pay for it, a lot more then we want to BUT it is the right thing to do because that is the way our country is set up. It is needed. I am not saying it is the correct way or the wrong way to run the country but I respect the government God put above me and do what is best for my family. We could have nice new cars, new TVs (we have a 20 year old tv right now), a bigger house (right now 2 bedrooms, small kitchen, small living room, small bathroom) if we did not have health/dental/eye insurance BUT we put first what is best for our family and health insurance gives us that reassurance that we will get the help we need no matter the cost. We then cover the remainder of the cost, it may take a few months but we have saved and do not have more kids because that would put a bigger financial strain on yes and I will not ask someone else to pay for it.

In my mind if you can not afford it then do not do it. That is called being responsible. If an unfortunate event happens then I am glad money is there to help BUT I am talking about situations like rapped victims who did not willing have sex and ends up pregnant. You are a responsible adult, you have a family, so do what you can afford do not put that burden on others. Just because someone pays taxes and has health insurance does not mean they can afford to pay for others costs, WE CAN NOT AFFORD IT. This country spends money without thinking where it will come from and only the very rich can afford it but they pay so little compared to what middle class pays in. My husbands insurance cost are going up AGAIN because more and more people are using medicare or other government programs and WE have to pay for it and we barely can do so. Soon NO ONE will be able to afford it and then what, this country is going to keep crumbling till we are hardly able to live.

NOW the other side.... hopefully you have kept reading. Since you are now pregnant I do want you to have the health care that you and your unborn child need. I hope that you call all your resources in your area to find out low cost but good places to go to. In the very very end if there is nothing and you have looked into everything then do go use medicare. Just please, please do not use it more then needed... America can not afford it, and I really wish everyone could start seeing that. Our country just was not set up that way, if had been from the start this would not have been an issue, but you can not make a change like this now after it has been running for so long.

FYI: men can have children well into there 60's, women are the ones that have that tick tock clock of late 40's to 50's for not being able to have kids any more.

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A..

answers from Kansas City on

I don't think it is the tax payers responsibility to foot the bill just because someone gets pregnant. My brother got his girlfriend pregnant and simply because they weren't married, the state paid for his kids delivery, even though he made more than 100k at the time. His excuse for not paying was because he wasn't sure if it was his baby (even though he really did know it was) yet he will tell us now that his kid was planned.

When I got pregnant with my first baby, the ins plan I had didn't cover maternity. It never even entered my mind to get assistance to pay for my baby. I contacted the hospitals to see what they charge for patients with no insurance and I was extremely surprised to find out how little the hospitals will charge you if you are a cash patient, so I just paid cash.

Try contacting your hospitals first before considering medicaid, I think you will be pleasently surprised!

I also wanted to add that yes, most people can afford health insurance. Instead, they would rather have a lavish car payment(s), or fancy TV, or big huge house, or whatever their neighbors have!

I can not believe all the drama queens on hear ( oh wait, yes I can, this is mamapedia!) going to the extreme that your baby will have birth defects or even die if you don't get health care. Yes prenatal visits are important, but some of you are going way overboard.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Your son already is being partly supported by the government and you're having another child that you can't afford to pay for ALL of his/her needs... I don't see why that's ok. It's like 2 wrongs don't make a right. Sure, lots of people get aid etc. Doesn't mean it's right. There is birth control... Just because you WANT a child doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. Your profile says you are a SAHM. I work!! I work every day and take home less money than I would if people didn't do things like have children they can't pay for. It directly causes my taxes to be higher which means I have to spend more time away from my own children to bring home enough money to support your children. Makes me think I should quit and get WIC and medicade too. Why not?... It's my RIGHT isn't it? But I have a conscience and want to do the right thing. As for people in other countries getting free health care etc, it's a different system. Look into why people from Canada have to come to the US for surgeries etc. And many socialistic type countries are in worse financial shape than the US. That's what socialism gets you. So you ask if you have the right to have kids you can't afford and I say no. There are lots of things I want but if I can't pay for them myself, I will be a responsible adult and say no. I don't expect other people to foot the bill for me. How expecting other people to foot the bill for your family is ok is beyond me. You pay taxes? Trust me, if you're eligible for WIC, your taxes are no where near covering your fair share of what it costs to operate this country.

EDIT: I just looked at some of your other posts. In one, you stated you were trying for a 2nd child so this was not a case of failed birth control. Another post said how much you enjoy being a SAHM and you're glad it's possible for you to do that. Well it's possible bc other people are helping pay your bills!! People say that responses like mine are mean? I think it's mean of you to keep doing what makes you "happy" and expecting other people to work and help support your children! I'm glad you get to enjoy your breakfast or shower while your son watches Elmo. I eat my breakfast at my desk at work...

11 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

S.,
I as 30 when I had my son. Working two jobs, but still no health insurance. His conception was a birth control failure (was on the pill - so no screaming comments, please).

I went on Medicaid for my pregnancy. Was I embarrassed? Heck yes, I had never needed "assistance" before. Was the health of my baby more important? Heck YES.

A friend pointed out to me, that I had paid into the fund(s) since I was 15 years old and started working.

Celebrate your pregnancy. Some of the best people I know are working families who cannot afford employer backed insurance so their kids are on CHIPS.

Be Happy
Be Healthy

CONGRATULATIONS

God Bless

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C.W.

answers from Allentown on

Yes, you have the "right" to have another child. I realize all to well that things happen, so I would never want to see that "right" taken away. I do think it's a very bad idea to have another child when one already needs assistance and can't afford $110/wk for insurance. Knowing how much it costs to feed and clothe just my 12yo son makes me frightened for you.

I didn't check to see how old your son is, but I will tell you that the cost (before insurance) for my 5 month old's delivery was more than 60% MORE than the cost of my 4yo's delivery, with absolutely no difference in location, delivery method, length of stay, or personnel. (I have the detailed bills.)

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Yes we have the right to have children but we also have the responsibility to take care of them. The two go together. You have found a way to take care of them without insurance. I believe you have the right to use public assistance tho I wish that you didn't have to do it that way.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

This is not a problem with you, it's a problem with the health system as a whole. I gave birth in Australia for free. I stayed in the hospital for free. I received specialist care for free. The system there is not perfect, but EVERYBODY can afford to receive decent health care because the State pays for it (yes, with taxpayer's money). You should not have to be rich to contribute to the continuation of our species. I shall now climb down off my soapbox to wish you all the best with your pregnancy!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

To me, what you are describing is the issue of medical care/insurance in our country. It should not cost anyone a third of their income just to have medical insurance. Use the resources you have available to you and don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

9 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it's a tough question, and i commend you for having the cojones to open it up!
there's really not an easy answer.
as a taxpayer, i can say honestly that yes, i resent my sky-high middle-class taxes going to fund someone else's decision to proceed with something they can't afford. needing help to do something you 'want' is clutch for me. i 'wanted' to stay home with my kids but couldn't afford to. who was there to help me fund that?
and yet i also resent our current nightmare health system that doesn't allow women to have access to good pre-natal and delivery health care. i like our capitalist system in many ways, but i'm firmly in favor of a <gasp> socialist health care system. it makes me nuts that we can afford war-without-end and enormous tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens (which included corporations, thanks supreme court) but moms like you have to struggle to deliver a baby.
so i guess i'm in the middle. yeah, you do have the right to have kids if you want. as a staunch pro-choice advocate i really can't go anywhere else. but i can't help wishing that everyone would choose to only have as many as they can afford, while fighting with our intransigent congress to get us all the health care (health CARE, not insurance!) that they enjoy on our backs.
khairete
S.

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M.A.

answers from Phoenix on

This is you CHILD. Do what you have to do and dont worry about what others think or say. If our tax money wasnt going to help pay for healthcare it would be going to something else and someone else would be complaining. People would really hate me because my 4yr son is on State health care and he gets weekly infusions that cost more then $30,000 a week. It saves his life... My husbands job also doesnt have health ins. If I got a job we would loose my sons ins. and he would slowly die. This is America we should be way more interested in helping our own people then other countries. I say if you need it use it.

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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

So, before getting pregnant did you know you couldn't afford it?

Did you still go ahead and have sex and plan on getting pregnant, even though you know you don't have the insurance to cover the bill? If so, then that's not being very responsible...sorry.

But at any rate, go ahead and have the baby and I'm sure the hospital will waive most of your bill. And then the next person who comes in gets to pay $12 for a Tylenol because you had the "right" to have a baby.

I want to go to medical school but can't afford to pay for it (self-pay, that is AND EDITED TO ADD TO CLARIFY FOR MONKEY - I do not look down on people who would use pell grants; I would never qualify for them so I would never request them because I am not deserving of them. It would be wrong on so many levels for me to take them. Other people who has absolutely no means to go to college, which is very necessary for so many jobs have an actual *need* for them in order to better their education.). Should I just declare bankruptcy and get all my debt forgiven, in order to afford to go to med school because I have the right to follow my dreams? I mean, I have kids - why can't the taxpayer pick up the bill for my kids because I want to do something?

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K.K.

answers from Austin on

Sure, you have the right to have kids without insurance. There are other more affordable options to having a baby. You don't have to go to a doctor or hospital to get great, quality healthcare. Find a midwife and have your baby at home. My husband and I are self-employed and I had my babies at home since we only carry catastrophic insurance. Both of my pregnancies, including all prenatal care, the birth, and all post partum care for me and the children cost a total of $4000.00. About $2000.00 per child. Research has proven that homebirth with a licensed midwife is safer and healthier for low risk mothers and babies.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

The problem here is that insurance has become the Golden Ticket and not everyone can get it and that health care costs are so extrememly over priced. Yuo deserve to have the family that you want. You are working as hard as you can to provide for your family. Good paying jobs do not exist anymore.
Unless you have the newest, most expensive cars and gadgets and stuff, leaving nothing to care for your family, and then crying you don't have enough money you are good IMO. Having "my tax dollars" help you with your family is a good way to spend them as far as I am concerned.
Congratulations on your newest addition to your family! May you have a healthy and easy pregnancy and a beautiful and healthy baby!

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I think health insurance should be afforded to everyone, not the "lucky few" who have good jobs and can afford the high monthly payments.

I think it's none of your cousin's business what you are doing for insurance, she doesn't live at your house, she doesn't have your expenses, she doesn't live on your budget and she doesn't know how your husband's insurance works or does not work.

I would avoid talking with her on the topic. I hate it when other people tell you what you can afford, or what you should or should not do! She doesn't need to pass judgement on you!

Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope you have a happy, healthy baby and enjoy everything :)

7 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

My grandmother gave birth to my father alone at home in the kitchen.
It didn't cost her or anyone else a cent.
Women can and do have babies all over the world without medical intervention.
Some have complications, but most do not.
Some women choose to do a home birth because they feel doctors/hospitals have become too intrusive.
Here's your chance to go all natural.

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K.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally don't go for having more babies on public assistance...it's a HUGE drain on an already taxed system and one that is seriously flawed.

I would've opted for the health insurance - yeah - it's expensive but then it's YOURS and YOU paid for it. That to me is fiscal responsibility.

Talk to the hospital where you plan on delivering as well as the OB/GYN MOST Drs and hospitals will work with you on a payment plan. So instead of going on public assistance - work with the hospital and doctors so you can do it on your own. You have at least 7 months to save the money for it or to work out a payment plan. That is MY OPINION.

7 moms found this helpful

A.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think if she has a problem with it maybe she can pay for you to get on insurance through your husbands work. Insurance is WAY to expensive most of the time. Some people just can't afford it no matter how hard or how much they work.
Congrats on the pregnancy! I hope everything goes smoothly for you! :o)

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A.R.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know alot of people complain about people "using" the system for health insurance but no one seems to have a problem with the MILLIONS of ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS using it and having multiple children. If you can afford diapers and clothes for your baby but cant afford insurance, that's ok, sometimes people need help with insurance because it is ridiculously expensive , but illegals take advantage of food stamps, cash assistance, free medical care, and housing, and live tax free.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

Of course you should do your best to provide for your child -- even before birth. If that means using Medicade during your pregnancy, then I'm all for it. Use my tax dollars! I have no problem with people, like you, who find themselves in a short term bind using the resources available. In reading a number of the responses here, I think there are some terrific suggestions as to options to help reduce the over-all cost. I wonder if Medicade covers them? It would make sense if they did!

In all honesty, though, I question one thing in your post. It's one issue when something unforeseen or unplanned happens, even when we try to prevent it. It's another issue to plan something, expecting others to cover the costs for you (not saying you did -- your post isn't clear). To me, there's no "right" about having children.

Sorry -- none of us should feel entitled to stuff we can't provide or pay for by ourselves.

My very best wishes for your family! I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy and a happy & healthy child.

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T.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

It's not for anyone to tell you not to have kids or not. However, if it were me, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant. All three of our kids were planned, and that doesn't just mean that we planned to get pregnant. We also financially planned for them. Savings set aside in case of complications or unexpected charges, being sure my husbands job was stable, etc. We have health insurance through my husbands company, but we still pay in over $620.00/mth. for family coverage. Health insurance isn't a right in this country, it seems to be more of a luxury unfortunately. I wish you the best with your family!

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R.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Health care is a basic human right. Yes, you are entitled to get government health care -- everyone is.

What no one is entitled to is private insurance providers profiteering on the rest of us--I think it is immoral and should be illegal for ANYONE to make a profit on people's health -- make a living as a health care provider, yes -- make a living selling insurance to make a profit is immoral and obscene and should be outlawed.

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A.L.

answers from Terre Haute on

If you guys can't afford one kid without any form of government assistance then it is plain wrong to have any more. Whether you pay taxes or not is not the question. You can't justify being on any form of government assistance just because of that. You're still contributing to the problem by being on the assistance. It wasn't like you had these kids already and something unexpected happened putting you into this situation. BOTH of your pregnancies were unplanned, and could of and SHOULD of been avoided. By being irresponsible and inconsiderate of others who ARE responsible and wait to have their kids until THEY can afford them you are just as bad as the people who have kids just to milk the system. No, it isn't your RIGHT to have kids. It never will be until it is MY right to designate that the taxes I pay go to something other than paying for your kid. You take money that could be put to better use elsewhere. It sucks that you guys can't get good jobs, but that just means you shoukd be responsible and get on birth control or tubes tied, or keep your legs closed.

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J.G.

answers from St. Louis on

I don't think it is a problem to use federal programs when you need to it is when they become part of your budgeting that I have issues. Yeah, pregnancy and delivery cost a lot, use the program. WIC, well then you can't actually afford the child you have and now you are having another.

Still you have a plan to pay off bills and such and I understand that you don't have a lot of time to have a second child. You don't sound like a career program user and I hope you don't become one.

You have to understand almost everybody knows someone who uses the system. These people are awful and lazy because they could earn more money but it is easier to do next to nothing and collect government support. You don't sound like that person but I get the feeling some of these posts were directed at that person and not you.....unless one day you become that person. So maybe look at some of those harsh comments and consider whether you ever want people to think of you that way.

Good luck with your baby and of course use the insurance that is meant to protect that child.

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P.M.

answers from Tampa on

Go around to birthing centers that have CPMs and CNMs. Usually their fees are VERY affordable and include 100% prenatal care, an ultrasound, labs, delivery, and 2 postpartum check ups. Not to mention their bedside manner is more appealing and woman centered where the woman is given control over what she wants to have her labor and birth like.

Birthing Centers and Home Births have better outcomes per birth than hospitals do... seriously.

My Midwife is a CNM and her birthing center charge $5200 for EVERYTHING and pregnancy medicaid is accepted at most Birthing Centers. I'll be having a home birth VBAC in July and I couldn't be more excited, yet calm about it.

You have every right to have children as long as you know sacrifice and effort is required, as well as tons of love. Money is something that everyone wants and most don't have enough of. At least with children love is filling your home. I see nothing wrong with using federal temporary aid when it is needed.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think it is fine to do the medicaid option. People who make a lot of money just don't have nay concept about how hard it is for the people who are the middle class to make ends meet. We make a fair to good living but have to do without so many things. We have "unearned income" from SSDI and we have a family of 4 and do not qualify for any assistance other than WIC. If my husband was working and our income was "earned income" we could get over $300 a month in food stamps. Some amount of family but since they earned income people pay taxes and have other work related expenses their income is evaluated at a much much lower net/gross.

It is truly sad that people would think that assistance makes a person less than human. When my husband was working his health insurance cost us hundreds and hundreds per month. Just for the 2 of us. We still had co-pays and lots of additional costs. So when he went on SSDI I was suddenly without any medical care what so ever. It stinks that I could have some disease that might be treatable if I were in doctors care and it was caught. I would love to be able to go see the doc when I have pneumonia or bronchitis.

Don't pay attention to people who say you are less than you are due to a financial issue. Congrats on the baby!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ignore your cousin. It is none of her business.

I was on Medicaid for both of my babies. Right now we receive food stamps and my children have insurance through Medicaid. I absolutely HATE it, but we are trying to improve our situation, and I believe that one day soon we will be able to get off of all our public help once and for all. I look forward to that day; until then, I accept it as something to do to survive financially until I finally get through with nursing school.

Get on Medicaid to help with your medical bills. Keep going with your financial plans, and do what you can with what you have. You sound like you have everything figured out and you are doing the best you can, so I don't see anything wrong with using Medicaid for now. Good luck, and congratulations on your new baby!

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E.D.

answers from Seattle on

I fully agree with Riley and Bug.

Congratulations on your pregnancy S.. I wish you and your family health and happiness.

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L.M.

answers from Tulsa on

So glad to read that even though the situation isn't perfect, that you are willing to have this baby despite financial difficulties! We were able to get family insurance 2 months before our child was born, and we pay $900.00 a month for it.
I say give your child a loving, supportive home, and you are doing better than most. Good luck!

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K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

You said it perfectly in your 'So what happened'!

You are tax payers too!

Congrats on your new addition woman!

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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

Honestly, I'm shocked at some of the meanness of others such as Kathy I. It's obvious that both of you are getting an education to improve your life and I wish you the best in that regard. And yes, you certainly DO have the right to have children when you want them and two certainly isn't over the top by any stretch. It's a shame your husband's company does not provide a family policy that is affordable, and it's a crime that our government hasn't yet made healthcare affordable for everyone. Quite frankly, you shouldn't even have to be worrying about this.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I am so sorry for your financial situation and the stress that it brings you for your pregnancy!
I would like to see a bunch of pro-life tea-partiers answer on this. The kind that want to restrict access to birth control and slash funding for health care as well...

If my calculations are correct you are living right around the federal poverty level and probably qualify for all kinds of assistance. You may qualify for more WIC as soon as you are pregnanct, check into food stamps and medicaid. many states have a special insurance program to cover prenatal care.
I for my part to do feel bad that my taxes are being used to help people in need. I think it's sad that so many people are just "me,me,me, my money" rather than trying to have a society in which people care about and for one another. I would rather they fund prenatal care than a war god-knows-where. But I have been told that that is un-American...

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E.M.

answers from Honolulu on

Personally I think the government should not provide ANY health insurance and allow the medical cost problem to auto correct, It would be REALLY painful though while it happened so I can understand not doing that.

You have to do what you have to do. You could go to planned parenthood and get free/near free prenatal care there, but then you would have the "fun" of walking through picket lines and idiots who would see you pregnant and think you were off to do something other than get prenatal care. I wouldn't be able to do that. You could find a midwife that does home delivery and home prenatal care, but that is a little "crunchy" for many people. Basically there are other options but that is the great thing options are just that options....

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

Considering that the US ranks 50th for maternal mortality in the world, I think our current maternity/prenatal system is F*#@ED up. And yes I think some of the reason for such a low ranking is due to access/lack there of to health care and health insurance both. As you discovered last week, access means more than a blacked out, too expensive option too.

Since you are already pregnant do what you need to do to have a healthy pregnancy, delivery, baby, etc and don't sweat whether or not you "have the right". I would so much rather pay for you to have a child than a lot of other things my tax money goes to :)

I think others mentioned shopping for cheaper options than a hospital delivery with an ob, I would second looking into a midwife and out of hospital birth. My husband's insurance covers the home delivery I am planning with my current pregnancy but the total cost if I were self pay for all of my prenatal care and delivery would be $3500, half of the $7000 for just the delivery you mentioned. Worth a look in your area....

Everyone's definition of "affording kids" varies widely person to person...my parents didn't think it was right to have more kids than they could reasonably plan to pay for college for, so they just had me. I guess I think your cousin can think that private health insurance is neccessary or responsible when she has/had her own kids. Period. She can't really say anything about you and your's.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Even if your hubby got insurance it might not be covered some companies consider that a preexisting condition at least that was the case with me in 2006 I was denied coverage bc I found out I was pregnant before my insurance kicked. Your tax dollars are paying for Medicaid so I say use it. Screw what everyone else thinks!

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C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

This is why I am all for socialized medicine. It doesn't make sense for a hard-working man with two jobs not to be able to get health care for his family. It makes me sick that this has to be such a stressor on families, businesses, and ultimately cost us all more (let's face it, if a woman doesn't get prenatal care because she can't afford it, the likelihood of complications during delivery are much higher).

If you can support these children, I do not feel badly at all about tax dollars going toward your children's health care. I believe my tax dollars are best spent taking care of... YEP!... citizens of this country! Schools, health care, roads. THAT is what government should be here for. It is better that the money ensures your healthy pregnancy, vaccinations for your babies etc, rather than going to bail out giant banks and provide tax breaks for big oil companies. I can feel pretty good about my tax dollars ensuring the success of the next generation of Americans.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I wish you the best!

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M.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

With my last pregnancy I carried the insurance and for us it wasn't too bad, but I also worked at a doctor's office and they reduced what we had to pay so it was worth it but on the same hand it had a very high deductible. I got pregnant it was planned but we didn't plan on having twins. As soon as I found out that we were having twins I applied for state assistance because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to afford a high risk pregnancy and an extremely high family deductible for 3 people. The insurance is there for a reason, it is to help people out. I am so thankful that I was able to get on it, towards the end of my pregnancy I was getting ultrasounds twice a week, then I was in the hospital on 4 different occasions for pre-term labor, then when I finally did get to have them I was induced. My last stay in the hospital was $35,000 and that was almost 6 years ago.

My son was at Children's 2 months ago and he was in for 5 days (he had a complicated surgery) and he is on Medical Assistance because he has too many pre-existing conditions (he has 30 different medical problems) and MA hardly pays anything well for that 5 day stay they paid a little over $41,000.

Right now I stay at home with the kids (too expensive for daycare) and my husband is self-employed and we are on assistance (we pay a monthly premium for us), and the kids are on medical assistance.

On Monday call the county that you live in and tell them that you are pregnant and you don't have health insurance, yes they are going to have forms for you to fill out and yes it can be a pain (I know I have to fill them on 5 times a year).

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Just because America doesn't have universal care for it's citizens, doesn't mean you don't have the basic human right of birthing. My husband's job does not have health insurance. Neither did mine when I worked. We cannot afford expensive private insurance with deductibles so high we would still be paying for all our visits.

We are nearly finished paying off our third out of pocket delivery. We moved to an area with an affordable out of pocket maternity package offered to the large Mennonite and Amish population in our area. Each total cost was $5000, and my 3rd was more for an emergency c-section. We spend a few hundred $s per month on our debt, but still far less than insurance would cost.

The kids are now on state health coverage, but just newly, up until we qualified, we paid all emergency room visits etc out of pocket. We are on no other assistance of any kind.

Does this mean our kids don't deserve to live? No. Hopefully they will grow and help reform the system. I actually took them on rallies for health care reform in the freezing cold. Lotta good that did us, thanks to Republicans, there is still no affordable public option.

Anyway, one day we'll A) Earn more B) move to Europe or Canada (lived both places in the past and anyone buying the Fox News line that they are scary police states just hasn't traveled)or C) go down in flames in medical debt if someone gets sick or injured. It's the American way.

Other countries realized one simple concept while orchestrating their systems: Everyone needs health care, therefore everyone should pay for it. And voila, it's in their higher taxes. And they're not complaining. Because if you pay your own medical bills or private insurance, it's way more expensive than higher taxes would be. That's why so many people here ditch their bills, and break the system down, and cost everyone else a bundle. That's what wiser countries sought to avoid. The only people being selfish and nasty here saying things like "I can't pay for YOUR baby" are the ones with jobs and or spouses that provide their health care. They won't be smirking when their corrupt corporate insurance company denies their future cancer care on a technicality.

ABM REALLY??! MOST people can afford private insurance? Have you watched the news in the past decade or been to any small towns? We have one used car and no cable by the way.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

First I want to say that you can thank China for paying for your new babies delivery bills and your lucky we aren't being dictated YET by China about how many children we can have.

To your question I say yes you should not have kids because you cannot afford delivery BUT not only that, you are STILL on assistance & will be taking more assistance due to the pregnancy & getting more WIC. So you really cannot say that this is short term.

And for all these countries that *pay* for their peoples health insurance, these countries are set up to do that WE America was not. These countries live different & there is much more government control. We are a capitalist country. I believe in giving people a fishing pole to catch as many fish as you want whenever you want NOT cripple you by telling you that you can have the same amount of fish as everyone else & you can get your fish only on a certain day that the government sees fit. And it's untrue that conservatives want woman & children to die or we are greedy rich people that don't care about the poor oh & we are white, haha. I grew up very poor, stood in lines to get food, have stayed in shelters, was on welfare my entire 18 years & had to use government health care, AND IT SUCKED. I had my 1st kid at 17 & I AM FAR FROM WHITE.

I love love to help people that truly need it. I have brought homeless people home with me to feed them (not very smart but I was young). I give away tons of $$, clothing, etc all the time. But I weed out the lazy people cause there's a lot of them, standing there with their hand out, with there fake nails, manicures, wearing nicer clothes than I have & there top of the line cell phone with all the apps.

S. you don't sound like someone standing with your hand out but there are so many people that do & all us taxpayers are sick of it. Especially with all that's going on in the world today & all the trillions of dollars that we are in debt over because of wars (i feel are necessary) and needless public assitance programs to people that don't deserve them & much more. I truly wish you & your family & your new baby the best & hope you pull yourselves out from your financial burdens so you & your family can ACHIEVE THE AMERICAN DREAMS you so desire.

@ INA: I wanted to answer this for you since I am a pro life-teapartier; I do believe that if a child is born with a disease/birth defects, that child should always have public assistance. I do believe in slashing funding for health care & slashing funding for abortions, not sure where you came up with slashing birth control funding, hmmm maybe not every tea partier thinks the same, lol

@MR: If I could direct the government on where to send my thousands upon thousands of tax dollars, it would be to you so you could go to med school for free :)

also I personally think that you should call the hospital 1st before deciding public aid is your only option

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I think sometimes things don't happen the way that we would like them to happen so we have to do our best to make the best out of the situation. Now that you are pregnant, I'm sure that you and your husband will deal with your financial obligations and medical needs the best you can. My only suggestion would be for the two of you to think about what you need for the future (a decent paying job with healthcare benefits) and start doing what you can now to put yourself in a position where you can afford to take care of your family's needs and have a comfortable life also. That may mean that your husband should start taking some classes at your local community college to work on getting a degree (if he doesn't have one already) or certification in a field that will pay better than what he is paying now and offers more opportunity for him to advance (think pay raises and bonuses!) in the future. I know that it is not fun working full-time and going to school at night but it would be worth the investment of your time and money if you do it now. Deal with what you have to deal with now but position yourself for a better quality of life in the future. There is no reason why anyone has to settle for a low paying job with minimal benefits if you are young, ambitious and have a goal in mind for your future.

This is the advise I would give my daughter if she were in your shoes.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

All 3 of our kids have been delivered on emergency medicaid, I have gone to the health department for the prenetal care and we paied out of pocket which was very affordable. Companies that my husband used to work for offered insurance.....almost $1000 a month for our family and when he only would make $3000/month.....we could not afford it. Hubby works 2 jobs and we pay taxes. We are going to try to have one more child(if it's God's will for us), and I will again go to health department.
Do not feel bad, and you do not have to explain anything to anybody. You are doing the best you can . Sounds like goverment assistance is just a "season" for u not a lifestyle.
best wishes

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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

Well, I would recommend that you negotiate a good amount with the hospital. My bills were higher than that pre insurance, plus if we had any issues with the kids it was more. My daughter was only 4 wks early and we saw 3 specialists and the ped many many times. So I think in the long run insurance is worth it, because your costs can spiral out of control.

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J.D.

answers from Cincinnati on

You have the right to have a kid without insurance. I think you should have insurance for your kids just because of all the doctors visits and you don't know if they might break a bone or need hospitalization for something. Is there some sort of employee plus child insurance. Thats what I have. Its around $175 every 2 weeks. Don't know where you live but have you tried calling Anthem or humana and see what they would charge? Someone I work with has a son and his company insurance was way too high. He called Anthem and they are giving him a better rate so hes paying through them. You'll figure something out.

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D.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't believe that having children should be a privilege of the wealthy. It is a God-given right and responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth. Yes, we need to be fiscally responsible. And yes, sometimes no matter how hard we work and how responsible we are, we fall short. That is EXACTLY what public assistance is for. I am happy to contribute to help a family out. Unfortunately, there are people who take advantage and give a bad image of people on public assistance. But you do what you have to do. Because later in life when you're more financially secure, you are exactly the kind of person who will contribute more and give back to the community. A couple's decision to have a child is between them and God. And the best place a mother can be is at home with her children. Good for you!

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R.A.

answers from Boston on

Save your money where you can. That's what I had to do when I didn't have health insurance. Now is the time to be thrifty. Also, look into a Midwife, home births happen all the time. Everyone has a choice to have kids, but it's being responsible, and doing everything you can do in the process that is all the difference.

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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I think you are doing the best you can and yes it is absolutely ok to use medicaid if you need to. I just don't like it when people are abusing the system, but you aren't even close to that! Ignore your cuz comments---its not her buisness. The next time she states her opinion, say---are you going to pay for my hospital bills or prenatal appts? Then don't ask or tell me what I should do. This is the best option for my family right now. End of story.

Good luck and congratulations on your precious new baby!!!!

Molly

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D.S.

answers from Columbus on

I SO understand you, I waited 5 years in between kids because we didn't have insurance and because we couldn't affor 2 kids in day care, but I was also almost 38 so I couldn't wait anymore. To my fortune, I was able to go to Mexico to have my baby because my dad is doctor there, and although I was upset that my oldest son and I had to leave our house, our routine and my husband for a few months (although he was there for the delivery), I was also very thankful that we had the option, specilally because I knew I was going to have a C-section and that's really expensive.
Had we not done that 2 yrs ago, I would still no have a baby because we still can't afford almost $600 mo in insurance.
Good luck to you, you do what you must to get the family you deserve, no matter what other's say.

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K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

As far as I am concerned, you are the type of family government assistance was made for. You work hard, but need some help.
You just continue to care for your family, and don't worry about what others say.
Have a great pregnancy!

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

S.,
You have every right to have this child. There are alot of people who are having financial problems now and health insurance is not an option to some people. Since there is a way for you to have a healthy baby by getting on medicade then do it. I would rather see someone who is working and who doesn't have insurance using it than for people who are laying around having baby after baby with no intentions of getting a job to use it.

Just do what is best for you and your family. The baby you are carrying could be the next president or could find a cure for cancer so make sure he or she arrives receiving the best health care possible. Congratulations on your baby and good luck!!!

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B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

First, I'd just say don't take such offense to the answers. You asked, and expected about what you got, so don't be so insulted.

Second, have you considered seeing a midwife and having a home delivery? That would likely be less costly than the $7000 hospital birth. There are some who are still in training who cost even less. There are scads of homebirth bloggers out there, and on facebook (such as Mamabirth on Facebook) with tons of information about it all.

Also, there are some insurance-like programs that can be helpful. I see them advertised on Christian-type websites (maybe the American Family Association?) or in similar magazines, where they "share" medical expenses.

It's a moot point now that you are pregnant, really, and I wish you all the best with the pregnancy. Really and truly, most pregnancies are normal and routine, so if you're eating right and taking prenatals and taking care of yourself, there isn't much more to be done in a doctor's office for "prenatal care", assuming all is normal. A lot of the diagnostic stuff can be done without, unless you plan to abort upon hearing "bad news", which we would never abort, so there's no reason to do all the diagnostic stuff.

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

You're in legitimate need of assistance so why wouldn't you apply for it for yourself while pregnant and your children? It seems so simple to me. Please don't let your cousin's judgmental attitude throw you off. If you think that you qualify for assistance based on your husband's salary (and I'm guessing you're not working?) then it doesn't hurt to apply for it.

You have every right to have children regardless of your circumstances. Suppose you had become pregnant intentionally and your husband had the best job ever but then lost it and lost your insurance? Would you still be asking this question? You don't have to justify wanting to keep this baby.

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M.C.

answers from Pocatello on

Have a healthy, happy pregnancy! Use the assistance, you (your family) contributes to it!!! At least in my state, if you didn't have insurance at the time you conceived... you can't insurance anyways... you would have to pay out of pocket, and most people can't.

At least you are a citizen, and your husband is employed.

If you feel guilty about it, work hard and someday try to pay that assistance forward by creating a scholarship fund, or donating to a charity... or whatever. When you have been given much, try to go out of your way to give back! Don't take more than you need... but don't kick yourself for getting help if you need it!

So many people look down on those who get gov assisted healthcare... but they have no qualms sending their kids to public schools (or private schools that still get some gov assistance), driving on public roads or using public transportation. We all have to give a little to get a little, and ALL of us "use the system" that we help pay for... some use it more, some use it less. We cannot each live on an island, never taking anything, never giving anything. Why not have compassion for others, and hope they return it!?

-M.

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B.P.

answers from New York on

If I was in your position, I would do the same thing. But from an outsider perspective, you really should have taken your husband's insurance since I would love to be paying only 440 dollars a month, not the 700 that we pay. But I also stayed on unemployment for 99 weeks after being on disability for 12 weeks for the birth of my son. Yeah, I looked for jobs, but not that hard. Some people would look down on that too, and I totally get that. Is it "right" to technically take advantage of the system...well...no. But you know what they say "Don't hate the player, hate the game".

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K.U.

answers from Dallas on

I know I'm a little late to answer, but I don't see what's wrong with using some assistance when you are a honest, hard working family, isn't that what it was designed for?! It's not like you are planning on getting government help to support a drug habit. I had an unplanned pregnancy while on birth control and had to use government health care. At the time I was going to school and working part-time so I wasn't able to use the health insurance that was only offered to the full-time employees. I used the assistance for a short time, then finished school and now our family is growing and much more financially secure. Congrats on the new baby :)

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E.L.

answers from Columbus on

An interesting question that I have had to deal with. I think a lot of it depends on your attitude toward it - do you feel that it is your right that is due you or are you grateful that there is an option available when you needed it? How do you use the benefits that are available - do you overuse it running up bills just because they are covered or do you use it as if you were paying for the services yourself, only using it for what is truly needed and reasonable? As was pointed out to me when having to make this decision, your husband works and therefore pays taxes. Your tax money is what makes this available to you. I think it also helps when responsible people use medicaid/WIC/etc because as a taxpayer, I look at it differently that someone who sees it as entitlement - and have seen problems within the system and have been able to make suggestions that can save taxpayer dollars or make things more efficient. Another unforeseen advantage was simply to learn more about "the system" and how it works. I have been able to help others who have suddenly become unemployed or single parents or other hard times find the temporary assistance they needed until they could get back on their feet. It was a real help to them to know where they could receive tangible assistance and that they weren't alone. It was a help to me to be able offer more than commiseration to their bad times and make difference. Back to your specific case - here is another thought - which would cost the state more 1. preventive care for a healthy pregnancy and baby, or 2. Complications and E.R. care (because the ER can't turn you away)? Congratulations on your pregnancy, enjoy it and your kids, and be grateful that we have an option to make it safer.

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J.H.

answers from Columbus on

I didn't get very far before I had to stop reading the responses. Wow, there is a lot of unhappy people on here! Your child is a blessing, OBVIOUSLY coming into a family that will love him or her and support him or her. Use whatever means available to help you raise your children in a happy, healthy home. Feel no guilt. We don't live in a country that provides inexpensive medical insurance. We DO live in a country that provides assistance for pregnancy and the young child after the birth. Take care of yourself. Take care of your baby. Remember there are people supporting you emotionally... even the ones you don't know. I wish you good health and safe delivery.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

I've said it before on here and I'll say it again: with all the money that our government wastes bailing out stupid bankers or blowing up US military personnel and innocent bystanders in the Middle East, I'm willing to spend a few dollars to get your kid some medical care.

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