What Is Normal 6 Yr Old Behavior?

Look up sensory integration disorder and see if she fits into that category- it may be that she is needing to be taught how to self - soothe when she is "flooding" with too many things at one time. (exhaustion, frustration, time with mom or dad etc...) My son has it and he can hold himself together at school but once he gets home it is a different story. The good news is that with proper therapy (occupational) that she will learn when she is about to "meltdown" and let you know what she is needing to help her not freak out. Good Luck!

I would say that most of this is normal. Try to have some movie time or book time with the two of you. Sit and just snack and watch the movie, this will relax her and hopefully she will fall asleep. I would get in bed with a book some soft music and we would read sometimes we both ended up taking a nap. Good luck.

I don't have a 6 yr old but I have many years experience dealing with how crazy thyroid problems can make you! How closely are you monitoring your daughter's hormone levels? I know how critical it is in children and would imagine you are staying on top of it along w/ a good endocrinologist. Thyroid and fatigue can make a child act crazy (and an adult!) but thyroid can also create moods and mood swings completely independent of anything environmental. If this is new behavior especially I would recommend calling the Dr to see if perhaps she needs to have her thyroid levels checked.

is there any way she could take a nap? sorry i dont know much about her desese. when i began reading your question that was the first thing that came to mind was she getting enough sleep. either way if she cannot get enough sleep she will have to learn to cope. you must still teach her right from wrong. when she is feeling grouchy she needs to take a little time for herself to cool down. i would send her to her room and have her lay on the bed till she feels calm again. this will let her know its not ok to treat others badly because she is living with this problem. i hope this made since and will help you to adapt with your child on punishment vs. teaching good behavior.

Hi E., sounds like you are having a rough time. I have no experience with a 6 year old, but do have experience with Benadryl. My son goes CRAZY on it. It has an adverse effect on some people, and makes them extremely hyper. Sounds similar to what happened to your daughter. My son has had seizures in the past, and along with Chiropractic treatment, we have switched him to a WHOLE Food diet, very little sugar and eliminated Dairy. Might be something you want to try for a month and see if it changes your daughters behavior. The studies on Dairy/Casean/Gluten in some people's systems is toxic. My son is a DIFFERENT person now. I just thought I would mention it in case it was something that you hadn't explored yet. I pray that you find peace at home soon. I know how hard it is to have a child that you can't understand. Message me if you would like some helpful websites, or simply google dairy free diets.

E.,
I think it is typical behavior for that age range, I have twin girls that will be 6 in December. They have the same problem when they are tired. Not always, but they do have their days where i just can't do anything with them. It's a hard age to get them to nap in the afternoon, but I tell mine, "you don't have to sleep, just lie in your bed & rest, watch tv, even if you don't sleep, rest will make you feel better"
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it gives them some time alone & that gives me a little break also.
I have 7 children & don't remember the older 3 acting out like that. I think it has to do with each individual child.
When I see parents with "angels" as children I think to myself, why can't my 5 yr olds act like that....LOL!!
In general they are very loving & sweet, but believe me they have their days! I'm thinking school will help them mature a little in that area, but then again, as far as I know, all children act worse around mom than they do other people :) Mine have really put me through the ringer these past few months, but we're working on more one on one time with them, to see if that helps.
Since your child has "Hashimoto's" which I know nothing about, you might could research the internet (if you haven't already & find solutions to help your child get more sleep.(mine don't have that & still don't get enough at times) It's like they don't want to miss out on anything, and at that age they are outgrowing naptime.
best Wishes!

Hi Hashimoto's runs in my family.

Is your daughter on thyroid meds right now? I have to wonder if she is in her "sweet spot" medication wise. What was her last TSH?

Hypo- and hyper- thyroidism can both cause sleeplessness and insomnia and mood swings. Dr. Ridha Arem's book _Thyroid Solution_ is a good resource IMO- talks about mental and emotional effects of thyroid disease.

If my TSH gets close to 3 mIU/L I am fatigued, have trouble sleeping, plus I get very cranky. I feel best with my TSH between 1-2 mIU/L and my thyroid hormones above mid range (free T3 and free T4). The NACB (National Academy of Clinical Biochemistry) has said that "In the future, it is likely that the upper limit of the serum TSH euthyroid reference range will be reduced to 2.5 mIU/L because >95% of rigorously screened normal euthyroid volunteers have serum TSH values between 0.4 and 2.5 mIU/L.."http://www.aacc.org/members/nacb/Archive/LMPG/ThyroidDise...

E., I know I am late in responding but I just wanted to add a couple of things. You didn't say in your request if your daughter is on meds for her thyroid. But, then I saw that in one of your responses that, yes, she is. That was my question.

I was diagnosed with Hasimoto's Thyroiditis when I was 12 years old. I also had a goiter on my thyroid that kept my metabolism pumping all the time. I had always been tall for my age, ate like a horse, but was skin and bones. Prior to the diagnosis I had been undergoing tests for a year to try to find the cause to my "enlarged" thyroid. I looked like I had a knot in my throat, it was 3 times the size of an adults! Looking back at pictures, we saw the knot in my throat all the way back to the time I was about 5 years old. I was sick a lot at age 2 and the endo. thinks that may have been when it was all hitting me.

Initially, the doctors thought my levels were normal. Finally, the endo, I was sent to said, no a child's levels are different.

I am 39 now and have had problems now and again with my hormone levels and the meds doing what they are suppose to. These problems have arisen most often when I am going through times of stress.

I would definitely take her to the doc and have her hormone levels tested. She may need an adjustment of her medication.

Hashimoto's can be caused by an intolerance to Iodine. I am not allergic to iodine (thank goodness because I LOVE shellfish), I just have to watch my intake of it. My endo. has said a daily multivitamin with iodine is ok, but to use salt w/o iodine and watch my intake of it in other forms.

My mom has always noticed my unexplained mood swings over a period of time and sure enough that is when I have had to adjust my synthyroid. I am tired a lot, but then again I have trouble sleeping through the night. I've had the jitters and numbness when my levels got off.

I do not know anything about "Hashimoto's", but I do know that many young children are also tired, grumpy and frustrated right before it is time for dinner. It is referred to as "The Bewitching hour". Children are tired, hungry, and frustrated.

It sounds like it is amplified because of your daughters complete exhaustion. She is overtired. Probably she has held it all together all day and at this point, cannot settle down on her own.

I am sending your family good thoughts..
I used to settle my daughter down in the late afternoons with a very small snack, crackers and cheese or a small fruit plate or veggie plate and let her watch a video,or play some nice music she enjoyed, have her color or read in the living room all by herself.

It gave her some down time before my husband came home. It seemed to help her get ready for the last stretch of the day. (I like to have some quiet time in the afternoon too.) Then when my husband came home he liked to have a few minutes alone. This could include, computer time, phone calls some yard work. We learned to respect his time and he promised to respect our quiet time when he was home on the weekends. Then at dinner we were more lively and able to all get back together so that we could have a nice evening.

Maybe you can figure out a way to teach your daughter how to calm herself down. Let her know she is feeling "frustrated." Let her know even grown ups can feel this way and what we do is go and have a nice quiet moment by ourselves. Or you could play a quiet game with her or have a reading time for her. Give her choices. Then tell her to use her words, not her anger to request help with how she is feeling.

Bio feedback, yoga, meditation are great ways to help children calm their minds. Maybe your doctor could refer your daughter to someone to teach her these techniques. She is not too young to learn how to deal with this.

Oh, you gotta love 6! My middle boy was a very angry 6 as well. He still is a 1 day away from 9. Her Daddy was not paying attention to her. NOT nice. They are trying to still figure out the world and what they can get away with. This seems perfectly normal for her, but if she gets too angry, maybe a few sessions with a psycologist. When she gets that way- look at her and make her look at you (even f you have to turn her head) calmly tell her to count to 10 and take slow deep breaths. Help her deal with her emotions and tell DH that even if she is supposed to be in bed, he needs to listen to her and send her on her way. He really is destroying any communication path with her. She needs to know that she will be heard when she speaks.

Good luck

Have you ever considered Sensory Processing Disorder, aka Sensory Integration Disorder? I have a 6yo that has it and he has trouble controlling himself. I know that sleep apnea can be one of the signs/causes, so if she is having spleep problems she could also be having trouble with the input she is receiving from her senses - not knowing how to process them! Also consider her diet and if there are any factors that could be affecting her. Hers is a link for the SPD:

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

It is quite a long check list and as you go over it consider everything from infancy to now. I hope you get some peace! Good luck and let me know if I can help with SPD info.

Tired kids are likely to have meltdowns, so quiet time alone with a small snack could be helpful...especially after a full day at school. When my kids got "too old" for naps, I continued the afternoon "naptime" even in the summer...time for them to be quiet in their rooms, reading or playing with quiet toys on their beds. This was just part of every summer day, or every day before they were in school all day. Getting into a routine of an hour or so in her room to be quiet could help her to manage her tiredness, maybe even boring her enough to fall asleep! If every one knows there is quiet time for all, then both girls, dad, and even mom can have a break during the day. Good luck--hope this helps!

Oh my! I thought I was totally alone in this!!! My almost 7 year old is the same way!!!! Although, he does have trouble following directions and gets in trouble in school for it all teachers and kids really like him!!When he misses sleep or didn't get enough, he can at time loose it! I call it...+ut of body experience! He is emotionally immature and does not know how to handle a sistuation when he gets frustrated or over the top upset. I personally think this behavior happens with very smart children who know better but don't know how to fix the situation, does that make sense? I don't have any magic advicen wish I did, but I am right there with you! Hang in there! Sounds like you did. The right thing! I would tell your husband not to exasburate her though, that just made the situation worse.

Hi E.,

I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this issue already. Here are a few points to ponder.

Your daughter is growing and changing all the time. She may be at a point developmentally where she feels challenged. She needs the space to learn how to deal with these big emotions when they come. You can help by having a gentle discussion when she is okay, helping her explore ways to recognize when a "melt down" is looming and different ways to vent these emotions. She might try punching a pillow, running up and down the stairs, dancing to a fast song, talking with a loved one, asking for a massage, etc.

Remember, too, that if you go down the path with her and allow yourself to show too much concern or big emotions, she will feed off that negative energy and feel even more upset or helpless.

She will learn in time how to recognize and prevent much of this if you have good care and input from whatever experts you see. Many kids have issues with emotions as they grow, so mastering them is part of maturing.

Since she is still just 6 years old, I'd also recommend trying to identify triggers for these episodes. You already know too little sleep plays a role, try to quantify how much is too little. Also, does this tend to happen when things are really noisy around the house or after watching a lot of telvision, for example? You might keep a brief journal noting circumstances around these episodes. The point is not to prevent them but perhaps help lessen their severity and frequency. Try a timer for a rest period, too. If she reads in bed until the timer rings, she is relaxing and resting even if she does not sleep.

If she is headed to school this year, be sure and work with her teacher to smooth things as much as possible.

Remember to bring hubby in on the discussion. Presenting a united front can help keep the two of you as a team and level things out for your daughter.

Remember also to check in with your pediatrician or other health expert if this continues for an extended period of time.

Good luck!

Parent Coach J. B

E.,
I believe that you are a great mom. I also believe that in the situation you described you handeled it beautifully. I don't know much about the illness you stated that your daughter has but I do know, (haveing a 7yr and 9yr girls) that Girls are hard and they go thru so many emotions and she is correct, they don't know why. Just like as women, we may smile when we should be crying or cry when we should be laughing. But puberty is hitting our children at younger ages then before and therefore hormones are there earlier. In frustrated situations, just like you did, take them out of the "heat zone" and hold them, exactly like you did. But any chance you get after that try to have alone times with her and talk her thru "practice situations". And try to teach her how to control her anger and frustration before a situation arises. I hope this helps, i'm not a pro by any means,... but I have been there also... MANY MANY TIMES...
God Bless.

E.,
Your daughter's behavior is perfectly normal for an overtired girl. Mine do it on a regular basis, and 100% of the time it is due to being tired (even though I may deny it at the time, and they are "NEVER tired, Mom!"). I get it mostly from my 5 year old now, but occasionally from the 8 year old, too. The oldest went through it more at 5/6 years of age.
You are dealing with her outbursts in a great way - understanding, loving & peaceful. Keep doing that! The best thing I've found to do is talk in a quiet voice (I know this can be hard when you have a 6 year old screaming at you!). I sometimes lose control, too, but I then always apologize and we talk about it. Always end with "I love you no matter what" and hugs.
A nap always helps in these situations. A definite daily routine also helps with better sleeping, but I know this is very difficult with kids!

As far as other ways to handle her frustration - how about a blow-up hammer or bat like you get at carnivals? She can whack the heck out of the bed, her wall, etc, and it won't hurt anything. Pillow fights work too. I've even told my kids to "run around the house 5 times" and then they can come back inside and throw their fit. Sometimes just getting out energy helps diffuse the tantrum. Remember that she's growing up, and your perspective on how to deal with her may mature as she gets older. You may want to remind your husband of this - and daddy's don't want to hear it about their little girls! Oh, and not to alarm you, but yes, female hormones will come into play sooner than you think.
Keep doing what you're doing, know that it's totally normal, and you will get through it no problem. Girls are great!

I think it is a good idea to talk to your pediatrician about ways to handle her "Outbursts" My 9 year old son has ADHD and when his meds wear off he can have outbursts of his own. We are in the process of a pshyc evaluation to make sure that there isn't anything else lurking to cause other problems. ABe patient and keep asking the doctors as many questions as you can. Also you can try giving her 5mg of Melatonin to help her sleep. It is manufactured by the body so it is completely safe and sold over the counter, usually in the vitamin section of your store. Best of luck.

This could be a combination of 2 things. One Benedryl, can make kids aggitated. It does my 5 1/2 yr old. He does not sleep when taking it. It makes him cranky, aggressive and very agitated. Opposite of what it does for most kids.

Two, she is tired. My little guy does the same thing as your daughter when he gets overly tired. Argues, will not cooperate with anything (not even McDonalds), will not listen, sometimes screams and throws a temper tantrum, then all of a sudden it stops. We just try to be proactive and make him lay down even when he says 'i am not tired' (and he isn't saying it nicely) He usually will fall asleep and is a whole new kid when he wakes up. And I lay down with him and pray over him. (not sure how you feel about praying, but it works many times for me). I pray for God to calm him and help him to go to sleep for a bit.

Hope this helps.

First off, I would like to say that you sound like such a caring and loving mom to your 2 girls! You should be proud of yourself.

I want to say that Hashimotos disease can be treated and greatly improved with a special clean diet.

I am a Certified Holistic Nutritional Counselor who graduated from The Institute For Integrative Nutrition in New York City.

I work with families by giving nutritional guidance and lifestyle suggestions.

I would love to give you a free health consultation. Please email me at ____@____.com business, www.kathleentisdale.com is listed in the mamasource business section.

Good luck to you and your family!
K.

Hi E.,
I think it is normal for a 6 yrs old child to get tired and frustrated at the end of a busy day. You might try this for her- since she has a hard time sleeping- just tell her" take a little rest" but "don;t try to sleep if you don;t want to " then let her go down in a quiet place with her books, games, dolls or other comforting items and tell her again- just rest for a few minutes- sometimes that will help with the fatigue-
also, you might try some soft music in her room- while she is "resting" no Tv= or anything else that could excite her during her rest time........
this is something that can be managed rather than "controlled"
about the fit throwing- Daddy should understand her needs more- so I would enlist Daddy's help with this until you get better handle on her "rest time".....if you are consistant with this it will become a habit rather than a chore for both of you.
Also, I am sure you have had her totally checked out for any other health issues- but there could be something else going on with her.
I think you are on the right track with her understanding her issues- the key is to talk to her and help her understand what is goin on with herself......
You are doing a great job
good luck and blessings

Not know anything about her disease, except what you said, and since you know the time of day she starts to lose it, I suggest you sit down with her in the morning and discuss this afternoon issue and what you and she can do to help ease it. Maybe a reading aloud time, watching a disney movie, playing with playdoh - activities that don't stress her out and that are relaxing. Sorry, but I see your husband as the cause of the blow-up you cited - so after the 2 of you decide on course of action, include him and your other child in on what is being done at those particular times. Good luck!

I may be way off in left field but have you talked to the endocrinologist who diagnosed your daughter with Hashimoto's? I can't remember what I read about it but it seems that I did read of a temperament issue as the child ages. You might want to check with the medical professionals before freaking out yourself. My daughter, who is now 16, didn't really have the same issues but not long after she was in first grade she was diagnosed with epilepsy and for a while had issues with sleeping, because her seizures were those that would hit in the early/late sleep state, meaning either just before she fell into a deep REM sleep or just as her body was coming out of a night of deep REM sleep. So for a little while we did have the issues of some temper due to ineffective sleeping. Once we got her medications completely settled though she did not have the issues any longer. There may be something you can do with it medically, so I would look into it. Just my 2 cents worth.

Hi, This is just something about how we handled temper tantrums. My son had a "temper issue" when he was younger. He is now 9 but when he was about 4-6 years old he would get so mad he would be shaking. When he was still a toddler, he would throw a full-out tantrum with the thrashing and the laying on the ground screaming stuff. As he got older we pointed out to him how ugly it looked when he was doing all that. We would talk about this after he calmed down, of course. We would explain how it looked horrible and how it made everyone else upset and how it did not solve anything. We told him we understand that sometimes things or people can make us really angry and it is okay to be really angry but he still needs to use words to let us know what is going on so we can figure something out. If one person cannot seem to help him, he needs to find someone else to talk to. It took a while to take effect and sometimes we would catch him on the verge of a tantrum and we would talk him through the steps - what is going on, why are you getting mad, what do you want to happen, etc. Of course, there are situations that could not be resolved the way he would have wanted and that's when we just told him to go to his room and be angry by himself and then come back out when he was ready to be around people. He was also pretty creative on his own and he would draw "angry pictures" and tape it on his door (or crumple it up and throw it in our direction before running back to his room.) When he did come out after calming himself down, we would acknowledge his "success" or give him a hug and let it go. Eventually he outgrew the uncontrollable tantrums. As for the "sudden sleeping" issue, I don't know what to say except that the tantrum probably tapped out all her energy and got her tired at that point? I'm not familiar with Hashimoto's disease, but I've heard how Benadryl has the opposite effect for some kids (instead of making them sleepy, it makes them more hyper). Good luck with your baby girls and hopefully your daughter will learn how to deal with frustration sooner rather than later.

I had a child who was like this. I suggest that you try a very strick rutine in the afternoon. We did for years, "quiet time". It was an hour or more of total quiet. The kids sat on their beds and looked at books or played in total quiet. Usually there was some sleeping too, depending on the needs of the day. Often I would start it with a reading time together, then send them off for their quiet time. As they get older they need it too, time to think, journal, relax...download from a long and tough day. You can even make up special quiet time snacks so they know there is a special treat as they are resting and recovering from their day.

I believe you either have the name of auto immune disease your daughter has wrong, or someone did not properly explain to you what Hashimoto's Disease actually is.

It is a thyroid condition where your immune system attacks your thyroid, not an autoimmune disease at all.

Sleepyness IS a sympton, but sleeplessness is not one. I have posted you the link from the Mayo clinic on Hashimoto's disease for you to research it further.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hashimotos-disease/DS00567

Regarding your daughter's other "symptoms" they can be indicative of a number of things including ADD or ADHD among them. Your best bet is to have her tested by someone you research carefully. Make sure that you let them know you are not looking to automatically medicate your child, you simply wish to know if she falls into any of these categories and can simple therapy and/or natural remedies help with the situation prior to medication such a small child.

For instance a way to determine if your child is ADD/ADHD is to give them STRAIGHT black coffee (half a cup should do it). There CANNOT be any cream or sugar in the coffe or the test will be useless. If within 30 min of drinking the coffee you notice a significant decrease in your child's symptoms she is likely ADD or ADHD. For some reason natural caffeine (which is a stimulant) works in reverse on people/children who are ADD/ADHD.

I am not suggesting that your daughter is, but merely pointing out that there are ways of discovering information or assuageing the situation some prior to medication.

Good Luck... ;-)

I don't know if I would call myself a seasoned mom, but I have dealt with physically and mentally disabled individuals for almost 15 years.

What it sounds like to me from your description, is that the tight hug you had her in was comforting to her. We have several clients that loose it, "melt down" whatever you want to call it because the sensory overload is too much. These individuals love sensory input and the security of being held tightly. It sounds like she might sleep better if she had something tight touching her skin and "holding" her at night. For some of our clients, they were biking shorts and top under their normal clothes. This provides that secure tight feeling and sensory input all of the time. They also sleep better with clothes like that on or actually wrapping themselves up in a blanket rather than having one loosely laid on top of them. We even have others that have a special weighted vest they were for the extra security.

It sounds like the meltdowns and frustration she has in the afternoons and evenings is due to lack of sleep.

It might be beneficial to have an Occupational Therapist evaluate her for possible sensory equipment or stimulas to help her sleep.

Hi,

If this is any help, I have Hashimoto's Disease. It's a common, easily treatable thyroid condition (hypothyroidism - underactive thyroid, so weight gain, hair loss and general slugishness are symptoms). I take two thyroid supplements daily and feel fine. I realize that treatment might be different for children, but what does your pediatrician say about the Hashimoto's and how is it being treated? It sounds like fatigue may be an issue here in her meltdowns. If that is thyroid-related, it's probably relatively easy to test for and control. I'd definitely run all this by the pediatrician.
Good luck,
J.

Have you had a Dr check her for seizures? There are so many different kinds. She could be suffering from them. From what I know about Hashimoto's, depression is also a symptom. Children cope with depression in different ways.

But 6 y/o's can be a handful anyway. They are on the edge of being a "kid" and not a "baby" anymore, have started school and are learning to deal with things on their own instead of relying on Mom and Dad all the time. Some of her behavior is typical.

I would also sit Dad down and explain that she wants and NEEDS his attention. He should set aside some time every day to spend with just her. That bond will last forever and most girls have a strong attachment to Dad anyway....."Daddy's little girl" kind of thing. It's very critical to her development in later years.

I would also suggest some quiet time in the afternoon. Time where she completely stops all physical activity and sits to read a book or watch TV. Like a "nap" with no sleep. At least an hour on the couch or someplace, but not her bed, because if she does fall asleep, it will be harder for her to sleep at night. But just some quiet time to relax. She may be getting over-stimulated during the day.

Good luck and let us know how things work out.

E., I'm no doctor, but from my own experience I can tell you that quality sleep makes a huge difference. My son has several neurological disorders, and always had trouble sleeping. After we gave him a Nikken Sleep System his neurological function improved, his attitude and behavior improved, his performance in school improved, and his short-term memory improved. The Nikken Sleep System has been found to dramaticaly improve quality of sleep, and consequently, quality of life for countless adults and children with Autism, ADHD, and many other conditions. I was so impresssed with our results that I decided to work with Nikken. For more information, please contact me by replying to this message, or visit my website at www.nikken.com/brendaramsey.

B.