Twin Boys Sleeping in Same Room - Almost 3 and Not Going to Sleep Well Together

I don't have twin boys but the are 23 months apart to the day and had to share a bedroom. What I found worked was cutting down nap time so they was tired and ready for bed at night. I also found that if I read to them for 1/2 while they laid in bed that would relax them and would go to sleep. When I read to them that carried over for school when they had to read for 1/2 every night plus it gave me time with them being a working single parent.
We did that all the way thru middle school and it worked great because they was already use to it. Hope this helps.

My b/g twins are now 5,still share a room, but went through the same phase right around the same age as yours. Honestly nothing we did (and we tried just about everything; sitting in the room with them, taking away things, later bed times, door opened, door closed, once when we were really desperate we tried spanking, etc) worked long term, except taking one of them out and making them fall asleep in our room, after the first warning to quiet down. We never seperated at bedtime, instead we used it as a consequence for not quieting down.
It helped some when they stopped napping, simply because they were so sleepy, but this too passed quickly, and they were right back to visiting for hours. It escalated when they moved into big kid beds. We have pictures that we snapped of them jumping back and forth between twin beds, as we flung the door open to catch them in the act. =} I love those candid shots now but at the time I was losing my mind.
I think short of seperating them and dealing with them visiting from across the hall (which they still most likely would do) you just have to be super patient and hopefully find a trick to make it bearable for the rest of the family until they settle into a quieter routine.
Mine still fall asleep talking with eachother but they are no longer loud, and it takes them alot less time to quiet down.
Wish I had a magic answer for you, sorry, but like most other difficult phases this too will pass.
We are now going through this same thing with our 2 1/2 year old daughter who likes to sing at the top of her lungs to put herself to sleep....... I guess, at least it is not 2 of them belting out "Happy Birthday" repeatedly for a hour plus every night right! haha =}

my children are 17 months apart so it is not the same situation but this is what has worked for us. Do our routine, brush teeth, books, cuddles, songs, hugs. Then we turn on the music, turn off the lights give one last hug then stand with our backs to the kids right in the door way until one song finishes playing (about 2-3 min) then walk out the door close the door and stand outside the door with it closed for another min or 2. If any loud noises, or other unacceptable bhavior happens we go back in lay the child down and walk out with out saying a word. Now all it takes is standing in the door way before then both lay down and stop the behavior. Also they may not need as much sleep as you are giving them. Try pushing bed time back 30 min and see what it does. Good luck!

Hi B.. I happen to have twins that are a couple of months younger than yours. Mine will be 3 in January. I have one boy and one girl. I still let them sleep in the same room and they are in regular beds. I do have the same problem you do in that it will sometimes take a long time because they try to play, giggle, laugh and talk. One of the things I have had to do for about the last 6 months was cut their nap time down to one hour. It was hard to do because I really needed that time during the day to take care of stuff around the house or do my school work (I go to school online) but then I also realized that I get more time at night because they are more ready for bed. I also think this is just a phase they go through because they are learning more of how to avoid sleeping. I find that sometimes mine will do everything they can to keep from having to sleep. I think if you stick to one thing, no matter which choice it is, then they will learn that is just how it goes. Just remember, they are still only two and have to be reminded on a regular basis what is right and wrong. I have to remind myself that all the time. They are so smart that I sometimes expect way, way too much from them. God bless you and your family.

K.

I feel your pain! (and joy!) We have 2 year old twins as well as a 5 year old, 3 1/2 year old and a 4 month old...I just took the twins out of their cribs and we actually took the leap to put ALL 4 girls into a King size bed. I did this for a few reasons. I had moved my 3 1/2 year old straight into a twin bed with her big sister at that age and found it (after some major adjusting and consistency) to be a great move. They have each other for company and bonding, they learn to sleep with another person and become less noise and movement sensitive and learn the lovely art of self control and obedience to what mama and papa say regarding bedtime. :)

First off, I had to give up their nap because they won't fall out on their own anymore until 10 or 11 pm if they nap in the afternoon. This has probably been the toughest part because they get so sleepy around 4 pm and by then it is too late to lay them down. Our solution has been a quiet time in the early afternoon where they need to sit on the couch and we all do silent reading or practice listening skills and then in the afternoon before dinner (my least favorite part of the day, everyone gets so grouchy) we try to be on a walk or at the park or just outside playing. This seems to get them through the hardest part of the day nap-free :), usually.

With the twins joining the bed now we have had some issues (not surprising) with them talking, playing, crawling onto other girls who are trying to go to sleep, tickle wars, hurting each other, sneaking to get books, etc...

Our response has been to be very gentle but VERY firm about when we say the playtime is finished and they need to lay on their own pillow they must obey. I try to keep a routine before bedtime that allows for tickling, lots of reading, singing, jumping on the bed, etc. That way when I have them change into pj's, brush teeth, potty, drink, lay on their pillows, turn the lights off and sing softer songs they know it is time to settle. We also value our evening time but we value our kiddos learning to obey and settle in as well. Right now we typically have to stay in and snuggle longer with each twin plus the older girls and sing them each one song softly while gently helping them lay back down on their pillow. As you can imagine, this takes a lot of time. Our bedtime often takes an hour or 2. This is not going to be forever. I view our time spent in their room at the beginning of these transitions as an investment in the future happiness and peace for our girls learning how to fall asleep. Also it is our family time and we love it. We try to leave the room before they are all the way sleeping and often have to go back in as someone sneaks out or starts talking again. But again, training them young reaps HUGE rewards for the coming years. It's like early potty training. People assume it is too hard and children are too young but I have found that consistent efforts on the part of parents earlier make for MUCH easier older years and less work in the long run (think of how many years of diapers I have not had to change because I did the hard work of toilet training young.)

I guess what I am encouraging you with is that you CAN make these transitions but it won't be simple or fast! Not much that is worth having is! :) There are lots of tricks and ways to manipulate good behavior from our kids but I think much of it simply boils down to kids needing to trust the authority of their parents and obeying directions. If we are authorities who are truly kind and not just selfish, they will learn to trust us and to respond to our authority by honoring and obeying. Then we will not have to manipulate, threaten, reward etc. It's all about loving and obeying. :)

My best to you in this crazy journey of parenting multiples!!!

Cheers,
J.

Hi B.,

I have 2 little boys (2 and 3) and I have them in different rooms. I keep trying to put them in the same room so I can have a home office (I work full time from home) instead of using the dining room table, but I have the same problem as you - too much playing.

My only thought is to reduce their naps. My 3 1/3 year old, when he is home, doesn't nap, or if he does he is up until 11pm. This started a little before he turned 3. At daycare they make all of the kids nap for about 1 1/2 hours, and it is really hard to get him to sleep at night because of that. He usually sleeps about 9-10 hours at night. My 2 1/2 year old is a little better sleeper. He will take a 1 - 1 1/2 hour nap and then sleeps 10-11 hours at night.

Sorry I don't have any great solutions, but hope this helps a little. I'll be checking back to see what other people say because when my oldest turns 4 I really want to get them bunk beds. Good luck!

I would say they are ready for beds but they will just get out of their beds and join each other and resume the behavior you don't want. I think they are ready for separate bedrooms--with baby gates or exterior locks. Probably something you don't want to do or know but I think it is time to do.

I am definitely not an expert...but one recommendation that you might want to consider is putting them in big beds. Three is kind of old to be in a crib, in my opinion, and I think that you might get the over this issue, to move them, and that will start things up again.

I have a son who is almost 4 (Oct) - he has been in a regular bed since 26 months, has always slept fine in it (and now, our 6 month old shares a room with him), so, like you say, it isn't the same as twins...but, at nearly 3, you should be able to tell them with words what you expect. You could try to play with their nap schedule, but it is possible that they still need that much sleep - our son takes a 2+ hour nap daily (of course there are exceptions), and sleeps from 7 or 7:30-6:30. Is the behavior something that might resolve itself if you ignore it for a few days (which would be hard, I am sure, but sometimes it works!)?

I have twins boys who will be 6 years old in December. I remember having the same issue a few years ago. The best thing that worked for us/them was a timer in their room. I set it for 15 minutes when I left the room, and they could talk or read books for that time, but once that timer went off, it was time to be quiet and rest. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it was a tremendous improvement over the loss of sleep they'd been going through before we started using the timer. Best wishes. It will work out in the end.

I think you're on the right track with the nap and sleep length being a little long for this age. They're clearly not sleep ready, and the extra distraction of their best playmate is too tempting!

Well, this is about the time when a lot of kids start giving up naps. It might be that they are transitioning from needing the naps and so they are much more awake in the evening. Maybe if you shorten their naps (or give them up all together) they will go back to falling asleep uneventfully at night.

I don't know. I have an almost-3-year-old and he's taking naps just fine, but like yours he's taking much longer to get to sleep at night now. I have to wonder if having naps are worth the break that they give me during the day when I lose so much time in the evening...