2Year Old Son Does Not like to Sleep.

Updated on May 01, 2008
J.T. asks from Danville, CA
20 answers

Hi Ladies, I'm getting very discouraged with everything I've tried. My son, who is 2 years and 10 months olds hates going to sleep. I feel like I've tried everything. He currently shares a room with his sister (4 1/2). She will fall asleep easily and be unaware of all the chaos,thankfully. However, most nights he will stir around, come out of the room repeatedly and just fight falling asleep, until around 10 or 10:30. As a mother of three (I also have a 10 month old) this makes it for a very long day. I've tried a calming bed time routine, (bath, books, singing) but he just won't settle down. Any advice? Anyone out there with a very active boy who has a hard time settling down? By the way, naps are almost impossible unless I drive around.

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A.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Please call my wife, we have copies of a great book called "What I wish I knew when my kids were young." We give them away to those who want them. Rick and A. ###-###-####

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R.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter is the same way, and she's just a couple months younger. The thing that works for us is just having her exercise like crazy for quite a long, long time, like running, swimming, playing with cousins, etc.

One or two times when it was raining and we couldn't go outside, she fell asleep watching Little Bear (not the monster episodes). I hate to say that, but it's true.

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K.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Just a little advice..
Either cut the nap entirely (ouch?) so he'll go to sleep earlier, or cut the nap short-er. As kids get older their nap needs diminish (It's US who need the nap, ha!) On going to sleep at night, "Supernanny" episodes show the parents guiding the kids back to bed, saying very little or nothing, until finally...at some point...the kid gets it, and stays in bed and goes to sleep. Takes some time the first night, then...whalla...
My 2 year old will go down if anyone but Mom puts her down. I like to snuggle her to sleep in my bed which is my weakness, so she falls asleep later than she should.
But...good luck!

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S.G.

answers from Bakersfield on

Hi J.,
I suggest you try music for your son. Some children respond to rock 'n' roll, rythmic sounds, other prefer calm soothing tunes such as Stephen Halpern. I suspect his mind is very active so you want to give him "white noise" to listen to. You can also try a hypnosis routine and I'll be glad to work with you if you like. Reach me at ____@____.com or by phone ###-###-####. Of course you also realize you can reach me at Mamasource.

Wishing you quiet nights, S.

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T.H.

answers from Chico on

my girls are now 4 and 8, and share a room. the 4 year old can stay up...FOREVER! it is crazy, i've put them to bed at 830, and then gone to bed at 1130 and found my daughter, 3 at that time, awake in the hallway, playing quietly so she wouldn't be found out.

i darken the whole house if i can at bed time. if i can its a good time to decide to lay in bed myself, and maybe just do some reading if i'm not sleepy. but this doesn't always work either.

i finally made the rule that she can look at books quietly in her room with a soothing cd on and a nightlite. if she comes out or disturbs her sister or whatever, i will take away the comforts. first the music, then the nitelite, then the door shut. if i follow thru a couple of times with this routine,she has stuck to it. it acutally is getting better now that she's 4.

we have an arlo guthrie cd of him telling bedtime stories, and both girls like that. make it quiet so they have to be quiet to hear it...

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A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,
Check our www.sleepsense.org. You can get all kinds of great advice on baby/child sleeping from Dana Obleman, who is a child sleep specialist. She saved my life and my sanity when I was trying to get my infant to re-sleep through the night after I had thought that habit was well-established. And now that she is age 2, I still refer to her website and e-book (that I downloaded) from time to time when I run into problems.

Hope that helps,
A.

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L.Z.

answers from Bakersfield on

Try not giving a nap during the day..I know it's great to have that break but night time sleep is most important! Maybe he will be more tired, also when you are totally exhausted, try giving him "Children's Night Time" medicine which will help relax him and help him sleep. These are safe for children. Not to give it all the time just on the nights MOST needed...I am pregnant with child #5, so I've had a little experience in different area's....I have one 16 year old daughter, 6 year old twin boys, a 2 1/2 year old boy who has cancer and one on the way...I know what it's like being tired!!! Good luck...

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes, I had that too. I skipped the daytime nap! That made wonders! And, also wake him up earlier in the morning, then he is more tired at night.
All kids don't need the same amount of sleep. If you really want him to nap during the day, just let him sleep for half an hour and then wake him up! Good luck!

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K.U.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

How about a cup of chamomile tea with milk? Mild and natural, non habit-forming. Good luck.

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N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

We had to give up naps, also, when this happened to us. I was kind of disappointed because my friends' children were all still taking great naps, and I really needed that down time for me, but after about 2 1/2 years old, both my kids obviously didn't need their naps anymore. Whenever they took one, even a short one, they would be up half the night.

So you might try to find ways to avoid naps, even if it means not driving anywhere during his sleepy part of the day.
Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

What time do you start putting him to sleep? Maybe he actually needs to go to bed earlier? It worked for my daughter. She has to be asleep by 6:30, or she's up all night. she's only 8 months old, though. Hope that helps :)

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M.G.

answers from San Francisco on

You might have to bite the bullet and go through three tough days. GIve him your nice night time routine and then tell him it's time for bed and you don't want to hear a peep out of him. Tell him he MUST stay in his bed. Then, literally sit outside his door. When you hear him get up, go inside pick him up and put him in his bed and tell him again -- he must stay in bed. Repeat the million times that will be necessary. After 3 nights he won't get out of bed anymore. Once he is quietly laying in bed you'll find that he falls asleep pretty quickly. But, you have to be firm and consistent -- no extra stories or chatting or other stuff. They can smell weakness a mile away!

Good Luck!

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C.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

You don't mention what time you put him to bed, but a few ideas come to mind.
1) Maybe he actually needs to go to bed earlier. If my little ones stayed up past their window for sleep, they got their second wind and were just how you describe your son.

2) I noticed at some point that one of my children, who really still needed a nap, would not go to bed until late if he did get the nap. It was a transition of a few months until it smoothed out into nap-free day and good bedtime sleep.

Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My older son (now 5) was similar. I finally realized that it was time to give up the napping. Once we did, he was ready to go to sleep at 8 or so. I probably waited longer than I should, but with a younger sibling, I was so looking forward to having them both napping at the same time. It wasn't meant to be though and it was much better to have them going to bed at a decent hour (and the driving around thing can be really expensive these days!). I'm about to have to do the same thing with my now 2 1/2 year old.

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi Jennifer,
I am a mother of 4 boys ages 9,6, and twins that are 4. I understand completely what your going through. I have tried different things in the past , and there are a few that have worked for me. If your 2 year old is still napping, and taking really long naps, you may want to start interupting nap time, and get him up. I know it seems strange but it's kind of the same as newborns, if they sleep to much in the day you'll have a battle at night! You may also want to try playing some sort of physical game that involves hopping, bouncing or jumping. This will burn off a lot of energy because large muscle groups will be used. Then proceed with a bath or try a shower. My boys will stay in a shower for ever, and it just zonks them out! I would typically do this an hour before bed time, so that they were good and tired. It's worked well for my husband and I, and they all go to sleep on their own now, and the twins don't even need a night light! I hope this helps you Jennifer!

A little about me:
Stay at home mam to 4 beautiful and rambunctious boys!

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I.Y.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi,
Have you tried the Supernanny method? I used it in my 3 year old who hated to go to sleep when she was 2 and it's worked well. Basically, you put your kid to bed like usual. The first time he gets out of his room you tell him that "It's bedtime, honey" and tuck him back in. The second time he gets out of bed and out of the room you say "It's bedtime" and tuck him back in without eye contact or any other verbal communication. Afterwards, if he gets out of his room again seeking attention you just take him back into the room without saying anything, no eye contact. It's important to not engage in any type of conversation with him. Once he realizes that he can't get the attention he is seeking he will give up and go to sleep. The first time you try this it might not seem like it is working, but keep at it and you should see results. I also had to give up naps during the day around this age. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,
I have to say, I agree with Angie about setting boundries with kids regarding sleep, just like you do for everythng else. Although, I'm sure even she would agree that it may be better done before you are so worn out that you are yelling! :0)
We simply made it plain to our girls that naps and bedtimes were not negotiable in our family. For naps, just explain that his body needs rest every day. If he's not sleepy he can just rest on his bed for awhile and look at a book (only one book, no toys). Close the door and let him know that when rest time is over (one hour) you will come open the door. If he's awake he can get up. If he's asleep, he will notice the open door when he wakes and know it is ok to come out. A baby monitor will let you know if he is truly resting (following your rules), or playing (not following rules). If he plays, open the door and let him know that since he's not resting his hour is starting over and leave. No arguing, fussing, just fact. "Your body needs to rest for an hour and you may not come out until your body gets its rest".

At bedtime, let him know that he needs to stay in his bed until morning. It's not really about sleep, it's about obeying your rules. "Bedtime is bedtime, if you're not sleepy, don't sleep, but you have to stay IN YOUR BED until morning." If he lays in there awake until 10pm, so be it, as long as he stays in bed and you get your much needed sleep. You will be a better mother if you're not over-cooked!

This will take some time to establish and you will have to be more stubborn than he is (quite a challange I know!), but it will be well worth the effort for you. You will have more patience for all of your kids if you get a little down time during the day and they will learn that your rules will be obeyed. This is something they simply must learn, you don't want a 12 year old thinking that he doesn't have to follow your rules!

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D.H.

answers from San Francisco on

My first child was very active, and liked to motor around until he fell asleep. I put a gate, the tension bar type, at his door so that he would stay in his room without roaming, but I could look in on him without opening the door constantly. He would play cars or look at a book beside the gate and eventually fall asleep. I also would play quiet classical music in the room at bedtime. I would also start the bedtime a little earlier to compensate for the time to get to sleep. We all were able to finally sleep without worrying that he was roaming the house.

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G.M.

answers from Sacramento on

When we moved my 18 month old into her toddler bed - we gated her door with a secure gate she couldn't climb over but she could easily stand and look out if she wanted. We used nightlights and made sure she knew we were there for her. We gave her a spill proof sippy cup to sleep with and she learned to get into bed and go to sleep on her own.

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C.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

As a monther of two children ages 4 and 5 and a nanny of children from birth-17yrs, this is totally normal at age 2. I have seen it last in kids that are 5 (Sorry).

Is he over tired from not taking naps and falling asleep so late? I have seen this in children that are 2-4 that are over tired.

Here's what I have done:

No drinks after 6:30pm (even water)

No sugar after 5:00pm (No juice either)

Dinner that includes carbs and meat (Pasta and Rice are filling making the tummy full)

Dinner done by 6pm so is can digest

Stroller or Walk after dinner w/whole family

Warm Bath Every Night, book, and songs I still encourage!

Not sure what time he goes to bed, but you may want to have him in bed by 7/7:30 if he does not nap.

Hope this helps in some way. Stay strong!I just realized I know you guys.

Hope all is well and congrats with the new baby!

C.

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