Twhat to Do with 5 Yr Old Boys Behavior

That "could be" a bad day, but it seems like this has happened before right?

Whatever is going on, Kindergarten will not magically "heal" it and that behavior will not be tolerated....
Consistency is really, really important with any form of discipline. Give him a warning, then he loses a privilege--whatever "hurts" most (video games, TV, reading at night, etc).

Have you ever had your son evaluated for developmental issues? You might want to talk to your pediatrician about his behavior. See what s/he says....

My son also went through a phase like this. It seemed to be triggered by being overtired. I thought he was getting enough sleep, but with growth spurts they can require far more then we realize. To cope, I started by sticking to a schedule which included quiet times or even rest times. Sometimes this meant while I was making dinner, he was in his room, lights out for 20-30 minutes. When a meltdown began I would offer him the option of either getting it together or going into his room for a "reset". Because he had to make the choice it held him accountable and provided him some control. I also began to talk to him more about how his body worked and that whining and crying was his body's way of saying it was tired. Once he began to understand this he quickly worked through the phase. To this day we still use certain trigger words and questions: "Do you need a reset?", "It sounds like you body is tired since it's whining." and so on. For boys this is also an age of strength and aggression discovery. This is a good time to teach him acceptable ways to get the aggression out ie: a "bop it" blow-up punching bag, getting into sports like soccer or even just running & climbing. This latter part of the phase carries on longer than the former. Unless the mean streaks continue I would stress too much about kindergarten. For now, keep you own calm and help him find ways of expressing his emotions. Many blessings and best of luck!

Besides being tired, try to figure out what his triggers are just before he goes into meltdown stage. What happened at preschool? Maybe it's not the right fit for him anymore. Is he frustrated they want to make him nap and he doesn't want to? Most 5 year olds are beyond naps. One of my children has shown these kinds of behaviors. She is almost 10 now, and things are much better. I recommend reading "The Explosive Child" It really helped us understand and work with our DD to turn some of her bad behavior around.

I would look at his diet. Take everything out of his diet that has MSG (monosodium glutamate) out of his diet for at least 2 weeks. Also watch his dairy and wheat (gluten) intake. Take out one then the other for a 2 week period to see how his behavior is. Start keeping a journal of what he eats and drinks and see if you can find a pattern in his behavior.

The other thing is sleep. He needs to get enough sleep.

"He also gets his way when tired." I suggest that you have to be consistent. By giving him his way when he's tired you're telling him it's OK to act that way. You have to consistently give him a consequence when he misbehaves.

My grandson was often out of control when a social worker suggested that she send/take him to his room to give him an opportunity to calm down. He could play while there which is allowing a tool to help him calm down. Send him to his room with the first sign of misbehavior before he's out of control.

Is he getting enough sleep/rest? Does he have 10-12 hours in bed at night? Quiet time in place of a nap should be OK. At 5, many children are not needing naps.

When you say quiet time, what do you mean? Is he in his room and unstimulated so that if he were tired he'd fall asleep?

At 5 he would be able to learn from talks. Check out some books from the library or get them from a book store about feelings and read them to him. During the reading talk about how to manage his anger.

Often, kids act out because they have sensory processing disorders and are anxious. It wold be a good idea to have him evaluated. You can do that thru the school district free of charge. Or you can start with his pediatrician.

I have a 3 yr old that has bad outbursts when she is mad. I make sure she gets NO attention for them. She must go to her room until she is done. I have even held the door shut in the past while she kicked and pulled. When she is ready to be nice she can come out and say she is sorry to whomever she went off on. It has really helped. She now goes to her room on her own when told and the "episodes" are much shorter. I think some kids have stronger personalities and just need some quiet time to sort things out. Good luck!

I'd suggest really investigating his sleep. My 7 1/2 year old STILL takes naps on the weekend (he's in 2nd grade) simply because he knows full well that a nap on the weekend helps him to function and stay healthy through the week. He likes to get up early--sometimes as early as 4:30, but more regularly between 5:30 and 6--and he goes down about 7:30 at night. He struggles tremendously with self-control, and while, as a 7 year old, he's not hitting and biting, he sure did go through those phases. Sleep factors so heavily into his behavior. Oh--for contrast--my 4 year old? He gets less sleep than our 7 year old.

First, get him a good physical to be sure something medical isn't going on. If not, then he needs LOTS of VERY structured time at daycare and at home. He needs to be kept BUSY, BUSY with structured activities and jobs to do (he's not too young)! He may eventually be diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), etc., but in the meantime see if keeping him busy with fun, educational things and responsibilities such as help set the table, feed the dog or cat, sweep the kitchen floor, help fold clean laundry, etc. If the daycare only provides mostly free or fun time, that is very detrimental to someone like your son. He needs structure, brain, and physical activities (and meals) on a set schedule or agenda.

I think you've received a lot of good suggestions here, but just to chime in, I, too, would start with the basics - sleep.

I have an 8 year old son who had some behavior troubles around your son's age, and sleep turned out to be a factor. It can help to make sure he gets a chance to get some exercise during the day, so it is easier for him to wind down at night.

Kids his age usually need 10-12 hours of sleep.

Also, check in with his daycare provider, just to learn whether they have observed anything. How are things going for him? Any new stressors?

You both will get through this. :-)

"At your wits end," but he's still "a good kid"? Not sure about that one. Don't internalize his bad behavior. I highly, highly recommend John Rosemond's books. Start with "The Well-Behaved Child." Your son needs a serious kick in the behind. He needs to go to bed early. As in 6:00 early. A trick Rosemond uses is that "the doctor" says so. "The doctor says that your bad behavior is because you're not getting enough sleep. So, until you have 2 weeks straight of good reports from your daycare teachers, you will go to bed at 6pm." He has a bad day? The two week starts over. I think you'll be surprised at how quickly he changes his tune.
Good luck! I've been there, on a smaller scale. Rosemond & his philosophies and techniques have saved my sanity!