Suggestions for Impatient Toddler at Meal Time

A.,
Try giving him a nice big healthy snack when he wakes up from his afternoon nap (fruit, cheese (protein), carb, water) in his high chair. He might be getting to a "post-hunger" stage where he's been hungry (which equals grouchy) but now he's past the point and the grouchiness has taken over. If he's had a super healthy snack, then you don't have to worry about how much he eats at dinner, but he'll be more pleasant to be around and be able to eat with the family. Also, you could do something new and different at dinner time to keep him occupied. One suggestion, if you have a laptop, is to google "online toddler games" and set up the laptop at the table. At www.kneebouncers.com and www.fisherprice.com you can find toddler games where they only have to hit the keys to keep it going. My son loved these games at 14 months and loves them still now. It's something new and different that you can take out only at meal time to occupy him while supper's getting prepared. Good luck!
Amy K

My guess is that he does it for attention from you. It is a time that your attention is somewhere else (cooking the meal) and he wants it on him. Also think what it would be like if you were in a room where everyone was talking a language that you didn't know how to speak even though you were learning to recongize words and understand them. If he isn't speaking clearly, he will show his wants with whining and crying until he learns how to express himself. When you go to cook, sit him in his high chair where you can see him and talk with him. You can give him an empty bowl and spoon and let him stir, pound or whatever he wants. It is a distraction. Talk to him while you are fixing the food, it is giving him attention without having to stop and settle him down. Sing songs... make them up if you like "this is the way we cut the meat, cut the meat, cut the meat" it keeps it calm and fun. When he is able to stand up well on the chair next to you while you are stirring (not close to the stove or while cutting something) let him stand there and help dump ingredients in and stir. Sure there would be a bigger mess then if you do it yourself, but that is how kids learn. I remember walking into my mother in laws one day when she had my 2 year old daughter with her. They were making cookies and my daughter was digging her hands way down to the bottom of the flour canaster and letting the flour run through her fingers as she pulled them out. I said "oh don't make messes for grandma like that" and my mother in law said something I never have forgotten "We aren't making messes, we are making memories". Now when my granddaughter goes to visit her Aunt Cassie (my daughter), they bake together and when they are done there is flour everywhere. It is wonderful memories.

Mabye he doesnt like sitting in his highchair. My son will be 2 in aug and as been sitting at the table with us in a booster chair since he was about 15 months old. He does this at times during dinner to. He is getting better. i usually try to cut up some fruit to put on a plate with a spoon and a fork and he sits strapped into his booster chair while i get dinner ready. If its something i can make while holding him i do that at times to. But try the booster chair. mabye he sits in one at daycare if he goes or sees the other kids at the table and feels more like a big boy at the table. worth a shot and he will eventually grow out of it. good luck!

My son does that too. He used to do it even before a bottle when he was very small. As soon as he saw the bottle or can of formula he would started whining until we sat down together. Now it is much more dramatic. Sometimes I give him something that he is never usually supposed to have- like I will give him my keys, or my cell phone [turned off] to buy me some time.
I also think that at times he is just really thirsty. When he starts to whine like that sometimes I just give him water in a sippy cup and he is happy. Before, I usually fed him in the highchair, and then waited a while before giving him his milk because I wanted him to eat all of his food, and I didn't want him to get an upset stomach if he was too full...but now I let him have a sippy cup with water in it during the meal and he does much better. He still eats well, and he still has the milk afterward. "But what is he frustrated about when the food is right in front of him?" This could be what is happening with your son as well. I would try giving him some water and see if it makes a difference

My son, also 14 mo does the same thing. The only thing that I have found is to sing him a song to distract him. This allows me to keep cooking and him to stop screaming. I sing him the "Super-Supper Song" but anything would work. I also, ask him to "Wait" because I think it's important for him to learn patience - not just be distracted. My request (made in my I-mean-business-voice) usually catches his attention for a minutes and then I try to sing to him. I never put him in his high chair until the food is on his tray. So he's usually with me in the kitchen while I cook. For a few weeks I let him play with pots and spoons and pretend to cook too. That worked for a while, but then he got bored and now we are back to the fussing. Really singing is the only thing that works for us. Hope it helps you. I am looking forward to reading other posts on this topic.

A.,

Does it happen only at dinner time, or at all meals? Dinner time for me has always been a hard time of day... especially at that age. I remember making dinner with my boys screaming and holding onto my legs. Each of them did it right around that age. The only thing I can say he will grow out of it eventually. You could try feeding him earlier. That worked with my second son, he just couldn't wait until we all ate together, so I fed him in his high chair before I made dinner for the rest of us, then put little bits of food on his tray again while we were all eating so he was still included during dinner time.

Good luck to you, I know it's frustrating when you are trying to make them happy, but sometimes I think there is just nothing that you can do for them at that time of day.

Jessica

SAHM to Charlie (4) Joey (2) and Rebecca (7 months).

The reason your son sat just fine at the picnic table when you were camping is because he was 'out of his element' and it was distracting to him. He fusses and behaves impatiently at home because he is a normal 14 month-old. He is looking for ways to have control over situations which directly affect him. He is impatient. He is even unreasonable at times. Use your sing-song voice and redirect him gently, and this will help him calm down and focus on waiting for his food. Can you give him a toy to play with at the high chair, or a book to explore while he's sitting there waiting for you to bring his food? You wrote, "Last night he had a few pieces of food on his tray and he looked right at me and hit himself in the head with his hand, then wined and eventually picked up another piece of food and ate it-he did this a few times."--oh god, this is SO normal. I think what you actually need to be doing is getting his food ready before sitting him down in the high chair or letting him into the kitchen. Patience is something that babes this age just do not have, and parents will drive themselves nuts expecting more out of their 14 month-olds.