High Chair Discipline?

Try setting a timer. Start with 10 mins. Start the timer when he is placed in the high chair and when it goes off take him out. Cut down on between meal snacks or eating on the run. When 10 mins becomes manageable set the timer for 15 mins. He will soon learn to sit until the timer goes off.

He might just be really sensitive to feeling "strapped in" his highchair. Have you tried using it for fun too? Maybe let him finger paint or play with playdough on the highchair tray. Let him get as messy as he wants so that he has fun.

One thing I noticed with my son is if I ate with him or sat at the table with him he would barely eat. If I minded my own business and just left him alone and did dishes or laundry he would eat so much better.

Either way - it is probably just a phase and he will get over it eventually.

Good luck to you! :-)

I,too, have a picky eater and it used to drive me crazy until I decided to not let it. My four year old will not touch any fruit(except OJ) or veggie. He will not eat pasta, mashed potatoes, almost any meat, eggs, or anything that is mixed together like soup or casseroles. I've tried evey idea from books, reletives, friends, neighbors, and the doctor, but nothing works. You cannot make a child eat something they don't want. So, I have accepted that he is picky and only give him the healthiest choices I can provide for him like whole wheat bread and crackers, low sugar peanutbutter and pudding, and low fat cheese. He is healthy and has lots of energy and the doctor says he is doing great, so I just accept his picky tastes. Mealtime goes much smoother for everyone. I, also, believe that as he gets older, he will be more receptive to new things, at least I hope. As far as not liking the highchair, why not put him in a booster. I got a great one at Babies-r-us. If he refuses to sit and eat as you think he should for a child his age, then end the meal. This is what I have done with mine starting very early on. If they screamed, threw food, etc. then mealtime was over. If they got hungry before the next meal, I would give them a light snack(same rules applied to snack as well). He'll get the message. When he is hungry enough, he will sit and eat. Take your son to eat out at a time when the resyaurant is not busy like in the afternoon, to teach him the proper behavior. Take your booster with you and leave without anger if he is too disruptive. Don't give up. Your family should be able to enjoy a meal without letting your son run the show. It'll take time and patience, but he will learn. Good luck and sorry for writing so much!

It always takes Mommy off guard when her once sweet little cherub begins to have a mind of his own...and lets you know it! Making the transition from doing everything, all the time, for a helpless infant to handing over little bits of control to the child is a balancing act. It's a balancing act you will play over and over in a million different ways from now til your child is an adult. There are areas of discipline that are non-negotiable, such as safety rules--car seat usage, etc. Then, there are the rules of the home that once you set, that's it. You are the boss, he is not. Do not fall into the trap of placating him--you will set the stage for a your child to become a miserable, unhappy soul. Have set times for meals and snacks, provide those at those times only, and if he has a fit (because playing IS more fun!)tell him meal time is over, and now it's either nap time or something else dull. And no eating til the next scheduled meal...period. Tell him in no uncertain terms that the high chair or booster is for his safety and he will sit still and eat. HE...WILL...NOT...STARVE...HIMSELF!lol We all feel like bad Moms when our children don't eat, so that begins a vicious cycle of placating, mollifying, etc. that actually creates an even pickier eater. I recommend you read Dr. James Dobson's "Parenting Isn't for Cowards" You will gain great wisdom and strength from it. You can do it, Mommy! Stay strong!

This is how we 'chair trained' our children. Only feed him in his high chair (or booster chair) including bottles and milk. As soon as he throws a fit or starts throwing food, take him out of the chair and tell him meal time is over. Wait at least an hour before putting him back in the chair to try again. It's amazing how quickly they learn to behave if they want to eat. It also helps if they know that there is a small treat if they can get through an entire meal without throwing a fit. My kids loved fresh strawberries when I could find them.

I am going to make a different approach from the other posts. I was 36 when I had my first, 40 when I had my second. I waited 12 years and had 5 miscarriages before being blessed with my children.

I definitely agree discipline is very important. We travel in our business and are gone approximately 250 days a year. I have all the Dobson books and a few others. My children are very well behaved. As a matter of fact I have had people who stop me in restaurants, Disney World, hotels, libraries, etc. who compliment me on how well behaved they are. I am a Christian and I believe in discipline.

I have NEVER made mealtime a miserable time. I've had friends who have. Insisted their child eat a certain amount of food, not let them get down, insist on eating together at the table. I took a completely different view. When my children were small especially, we rarely ate together. I enjoyed feeding them, getting them bathed and ready for bed. My husband and I would then be able to eat a meal and visit without interruption after they went to bed. (When they were little they were in bed by 7:30). As they have gotten older (9 and almost 5) we eat together on a regular basis, but still not every night.

As far as eating out. Try kid friendly restaurants. I remember having to take my daughter out of Cheddars one time because it was taking so long to get our food. That's crazy to expect a child to wait, especially when they're hungry. Practice at places like CiCi's, Jason's, places where it doesn't take so long to be served. Remember this is only a short time in their lives.

I believe there is plenty of time to have "family dinners" when they are a little older. I believe it is important for the Mom & Dad to have time to connect as well. I also believe dinner time should never be BATTLE TIME!

We eat at restaurants now where it takes longer (and have been for several years now). Now my daughter's favorite is Ruby Tuesday's and Red Lobster. My son as well.

You have another one the way in short order. You need to do what works for YOUR family. God bless you in your adventure of parenthood!

Blessings to you!
L.

S.,
This is a function of his nervous system -- he is uncomfortable. First, make sure his feet are stabilized. Some kids have what's known as Gravitational Insecurity, meaning they can't stand not to be connected to the ground -- "grounded", but not in a disciplinary way. Kids' feet should always touch something (the floor, a box, something) when they are sitting. Dangling feet are uncomfortable, and this issue can lead to what looks like discipline problems.

There's a book called "Just Take a Bite" that addresses picky eaters. You might look for it on line. It helps work through those pickiness issues, but be prepared -- it is not conventional, parental wisdom. It's written by an occupational therapist, with some specific ideas for helping the root causes of the pickiness.

Remember this: All behavior is deliberate, and all behavior is communication. You need to be a detective to figure out what your son is communicating through his behavior. In this case, I am pretty sure (especially because he is a picky eater AND does not like the high chair) that the problem is that his nervous system does not like some things that we just assume a child would like. Remember this: You don't always eat new foods with enthusiasm, and you don't sit in uncomfortable chairs -- you find another place to sit. He is the same way. He just can't control his own environment the way you can. He's not being bad. He just can't tell you what's wrong.

One more thing: Be sure you let a child this age "play" with his food. A young child explores and learns by touching, both with his hands and with his mouth. He is learning about the texture of the food when he mashes it and so forth.

Blessings,
P.

My daughter is extremely picky so I try different things too including the TV or Noggin--so I do not think you are a bad mom at all! We do what works! Everything I've read about says it's best not to force the issue of eating. Your son is so young--it may be a phase. (I had 2 kids under 2 years also).

I think it will take time at his age, but just be consistent. Make sure he is hungry, and have him eat when you eat, so he sees everyone sitting there together. If he gets too restless, maybe he is just not hungry and if he acts hungry later, put him back in and feed him more. Hope this helps.

My son went through this stage about 13-15 months also. He finally outgrew it. We didn't go out and eat for a while because of the behavior. I'm happy to report that he outgrew it, though. Hang in there. It does get better!ha! Believe it or not. I think they do this at this age because they can walk finally, so they don't want to be strapped down in a highchair. Have you tried a booster? We got my son a Little Tykes picnic table that he loves!!! Just a few suggestions. The picnic table is set up in our "dining room" that is his playroom ... and he can eat in there and I have a cheap rug under it and the table is easily cleaned up with clorox wipes. No messes and he's happier. That is one battle that I choose not to fight. Our son is now almost 2 and dinner battles are a thing of the past (for the most part!). Good luck!

It is time to let him move up to a booster seat, with a buckle of course!! My son did so much better with that, and does he have a fork or spoon he can use as well? Give that a try and see how it goes..here is to hoping it gets better! ~A.~

Do you let him feed himself? My son has to keep busy so we just pinch his food up always have some on the tray for him. My pedi told me that kids have such a diff outlook on eating than adults. We eat for pleasure, to them its a waste of time that could be spent playing. It will get better.

Have you tried putting him in a booster chair next to the table?

When he starts to throw a fit take the food away and take him out of the chair. "Mommy doesn't feed fussy boys. Let me know when you are ready to eat." I swear the child won't starve. It worked for us with our daughter. There were a couple of phases that each lasted a few months which prevented us from eating out. It isn't forever, does limit your options but is better for everyone until sweetie boy is ready to behave.

What is he eating, if it is still jarred food, change it. Give him some of your food in smaller bites, or let him start to feed himself. Our son refused to eat for 2 nights in a row, then I figured out that he wanted to feed himself with "his" spoon. As for the 2 Under 2, I have that and it has been great. I can give you some tips that helped us to not have jealousy if you want. Let me know, I have been there.

i would try all those things listed and then give him a swat or spanking to let him know that you are to be obeyed. you should never song and dance, but offer pratical solutions and expect to be obeyed. teaching him to obey will fix most problems not setting the stage for him to mollified in different scenarios. like if you expect him to sit in the high chair then you expect it everyplace and everytime. if you let him run you and let him choose when he obeys, then you can expect little when out in public. if you let him run amuk at home and expect different behaviour in public you are setting the stage for failure. the better scenario is to discipline your little bundle and to expect obedience and then you never have to worry about where you are, because he will know that no matter you are to be obeyed.
I would also let him get really hungry and try feeding again. I would also limit things like milk that will dull his hunger. I would also let him attempt to feed himself. I would also feed the same thing for a few days and not change his diet and only change one thing at a time. So he doesn't become overwhelmed. Like I would work on the high chair thing first and making him sit still first adn learning to obey and then work on trying new foods.
Realize his need for independence in the guidelines of discipline and obedience and both of you shall win.
Some good books on discipline can be found at www.nogreaterjoy.com
good luck,
laur

My son was the same way I can't offer any info on the fruits and vegies except V8 Fusion my son has no clue he is getting veggies and loves the taste. As for the table issue we got him a chile size table and chair set, at first he didn't like it but then he liked that it was his size and has sat there every day since.

My children acted the same way until we took the tray off and put them more under the table or even used a booster seat with a belt. They were showing their first steps to independence.

J. S.

My 12 month old is the exact same way except he doesn't mind eating in his high chair he just likes to play with his food a lot. He eats all kinds of protein & fruit but refuses to eat veggies (he used to eat them in the jar all the time when he was younger). When we first started "adult" food he ate steamed carrots & green beans. Then he went to only green beans & now he is at none so I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!! I do what one mom said & use the V8 Fusion & he loves it. Also, BeechNut has just come out with a Veggie & Fruit Juice for kids. I found the Veggie Juice at Kroger so I thought I'd give it a try. I opened the little jar & it smelled just like the old fashioned V8 tomatoe juice. I thought to myself there is NO WAY he will drink this. He hammered the whole thing, he loved it. I still can't figure out the sense of it but hey, I'm just happy he's getting some veggies now!! :)

My children were the same way, I think most toddlers are..but I stuck to my guns and insisted that food was only eaten in the high chair. Sometimes they may have gotten down hungry but by the next meal they were ready to sit down and eat good. Also, keep snacks at a minimum, maybe 3 meals and 2 snacks a day otherwise he will be in the high chair so much that he won't be hungry and also he won't eat much at mealtime knowing that he can get right back in the highchair for a snack soon. With my kids, we all sat down to eat together...sometimes I sat long after I was finished eating just because if I got up they would want up, then when we were done I cleaned everything up and the kitchen was "closed" until the next meal or snack time. This eleminated the grazing for all of us. My kids are now 9 and 14, we still don't eat anywhere but the kitchen table and I cherish our meal time conversation GREATLY, sometimes it's our only real conversation time between sports, school, and church.

Keep up the good work, the struggle will be over before you know it and you'll be on to the next struggle. My only other suggestion, don't work so hard to entertain him in the high chair, stick to normal table time conversation perhaps describing his food... color, texture, shape, etc. Even if he only eats 5 or 6 bites, let him get down when he's finished and don't let him have anything else to eat not even from anyone elses plate until the next meal or snack time... also limit the amount he drinks between meals, he may be filling up on fluid.

I agree with getting a booster seat. Ours is very small and adjusts in height. My youngest is 16 mo. and has been sitting in her booster without the tray since about 10 mo. We pull her up to the table and she eats just like her siblings (4 & 2). Our house rule is that when you get down from the table (or when you say you are finished), your meal is over. This is always a hard transition, but it is worth it once they get it. It might also be that he is trying to have control of his world. I think it was Dr. James Dobson who said there are some things you cannot make a child do no matter what you try ... eat, sleep, potty. It has to be there decision. He is so right! Congrats on the upcoming baby. My first two are 23 mo. apart and the second and third are 17 mo. apart. Having them so close gets a little crazy, but you'll adapt really fast and be able to do the same things you do now.

Hello S.,
It's been a few years for me... but what about if get a small chair and table where he could sit? (little tikes?) or do you have a chair w/ arms so he won't fall off the sides. maybe the position of the chair is not comfortable for him (his back/neck, bottom). those are my 2 cents. Good luck! ~C.~

If you've followed the rules and restricted American Junk Food, then it's just a phase. However, if he'll eat ice cream and nachos, it's a taste preference.

Remember, tots only eat as much as the size of their fist. not a lot at all. In regards to the melt downs, you technically are starting his second year of life, so welcome to the terrible two's. You will survive it, I promise.