Son's Behavior Changed...

My twins were two when I read something that changed my life. I explained to them as best I could that if they were doing something they shouldn't that I was going to count 1, 2, 3, and if I got to three, they were going to time out. It took about 4 trys when it finally sunk in to them and it was fantastic. They are 13 now and it still works. When I first heard about it, I thought, no way, this won't work, but I was ready to try anything and it worked. Time out was not a chair or a certain place, but a situation. We could be in the car driving and if they were in time out, that meant complete quiet, no talking and sitting still. If we were in the grocery store and they had to go to time out, it was in the aisle of the store. I simply explained to the looks that I received, that they were in time out. Example: If I said, Child's name, let's go and they were not ready, I would say, I'm starting to count, and I would could slowly, "I am on ONE, wait a second, Ok, I am on TWO, (usually they came running at this), if I got to three then very calmly and firmly I would point to a chair, the floor or something and say "You are in time out, 2 minutes". I only had to use the timeout about 4 or 5 time, and then hardly ever again. Good luck. Just FYI, we also had a rule, that I repeated before going into any store. I would tell the girls, " We are going into (store name) now, What is the rule?? They would say"Don't touch ANYTHING", then I would say, what happens if you do, they would say, go home IMMEDIATELY. It was an inconvience, but I only walked out of a store one time and they knew I meant business. Good Luck, SR

He is probably insecure. You have changed locations. You are having a new baby. Being consistant in your discipline when he disobeys is vital. Even two year olds knows what timeout means pretty quickly. Yelling just teaches him to yell. I put the stove time clock to 10 and tell my grandchildren not to get up until the clock rings. I tell them to think of how he or she will obey nana from now on. After the time, ask them why he or she was in time out to make sure he or she understands. They will.. Love them anyway.

Good Morning - I suspect you are dealing with a psychological problem here - perhaps not serious, but frustrating. I suspect he is reacting to what appear to be many changes in his life. Is his daddy in the picture? Also, if your friend's children have a routine that is different from what his has been, he will react to that. Partly it is being 2, but with the the changes occurring in his life, this is just exascerbated. He may be too young for counseling, but ask his church nursery teachers for advice and help. If he is in daycare, they can help also. How about family? Perhaps it would help if you were living in your own place, without daily exposure to how the other children behave. As for the accidents, that might be connected to all this, although 2 is rather young to expect him to be completely trained. Just keep reassuring him that he is loved by you and the new baby will not supplant him. It sounds like you are traveling a rather rough road hon and you will all be in my prayers.

As a mother of two, although my oldest is 8 years older, I would first have to say that he is acting out trying to figure out where he fits in. It may seem weird at this time, he's only (almost) 3, but at this age is where they are the most honest in their behavior. You moved your "family" in with another "family". Where did his security go? He needs stability and a routine. You have to reassure him that you and he are a family. Then you need to work in the new baby coming and how you will become a family of 3. "The more the merrier" attitude is a good one to use. Keep in mind that everything that he knows just got changed. And is going to happen again once the new baby comes. He needs to be reassured that he is not being "replaced", but that he is gaining a sibling which is a GOOD thing.
A few nights is not enough. He needs consistency, therefore giving up after a few nights just adds to his the "chaos" he is feeling. I would suggest putting him back in the room with you. Not the bed with you, but the room. He will fuss about it, but after a few nights he will realize that you mean business and you will not be swayed by his tantrums. This is a critical age and the more control you have over him now will lead to a better behaved child later, when you really need it. They are so precious at this age.
My youngest is 7 now, but we went through the "terrible twos" at 3 1/2. She was a mess!! We did the "timeout", but let me tell you that was harder on me because I didn't have enough patience to listen to the screaming. Then we tried "swatting". Half the time she just looked at us and said "that don't hurt". But I tell you what works with her is taking away TV. Sometimes you have to try several things to find the right thing that works for your child. No two kids are ever going to be alike. Except that consistency and follow-through are the most important things you can use to teach with. If you tell them there will be repercussions to their actions, you need to follow through and do what you said.
Good Luck. And congratulations on the new baby. May not seem like it right now, but they are truly a blessing. I love every minute of being a mom. Yes, even when I can't stand them! haha

I have 3 so far under the age of 5 and 1 on the way (also due in Sept). It is HARD to maintain composure and my kids spend alot of time in the corner,lol. Even with allthe changes goign on around him I have to agree with the AP Parenting at this point until things settle down or you move again, and with bed wetting get your butt up and take him to the bathroom at the first sign he will proabbly go even if he didnt have to at that point and it will save you many laundry issus,lol. But STILL your son needs to realize good behavior is rewarded with hugs and kisses and bad behavior is given punishment weather it be a time out chair (which in my case DOES NOT work) the corner, or a swat on the behind. I know it is hard while pregnant to disapline consistantly but it is imparative especially with someone else's children around. You could also speak withg your roomate/freind and try to come to a conculsion on something consistant between all of the kids so your son doesn't feel like he cannot do anything.

hey, I am a mother of 2 ages 2 and 4. my second son was born 3 weeks before my first sons bday. when number 2 was born my first wasnt even 2 but it was definately a challenge (still is). i had a colic baby and a terrible twos and while il was poty training iwas changing diapers and feeding and waking up at night. i am not one to beat around the bush so for me it was challenging andy parent who tells you otherwise are lying. BUT........... there has never been such a big sense of accomplishment on my part. my second acted out to. just wait until the baby is born and you will know what to do. just like the first it all comes naturally. I dont know the situation but it would be best for eveyone to get out of the house with the friend so you and your children can have your own schedule. I know what thats like to. This new baby may clam him down but there will be jelousy first. I want to tell you that now my first is happy and calm and my second has hit the stage but they play well together and love eachother uncondicionally. it calms down when number two gets mobile. Do yourself a favor and get you own place that will give you some where to focus on you and your children with no distractions. children are work and you will be fine its all the jitters. hope this helps, sorry so long.
D.

Young children thrive on consistency and routine. His world has just been turned upside down by moving in with another family. I'm sure you had to do it, but it will take awhile to get him settled in. (I read your other post, this is also very likely the reason for the potty accidents). I know you are exhausted at this stage of preg, but work hard to reestablish routines (snack, bath, story, cuddle, bedtime - or whatever works for you). Just make life more predictable. Also be consistent with your discipline . . . his world is about to get even more crazy in Sept.

I have a son who will be 3 at the end of August and one that will be 2 in December. My almost 3 year old goes through moments where he doesn't listen either. About 3 months ago he was in a daycare with a rather mean "teacher" and wouldn't listen and was misbehaving a lot. We move him to a new school and is now a much better little boy. He is happier and everyone around him can tell. When he would act-up at home, my husband and I would just not give in and we stuck to our rules. He does have moments when he is jealous of his little brother, but we've learned to redirect his outburst to something more positive. One thing I've had to learn is to have patience and realize that things aren't going to go as I think they should and that tomorrow will come and we can try again.

Have you considered that moving is a lot of change for your little guy? His stability and routine and all that he is used to as changed. At his age that is a major deal. I would focus on spending extra time with him. Try to get his routine back to normal as much as possible. If at all possible I would try to put his new room together just like his old one so he feels more secure that not everything is so different. I bet in a little while he will go back to being his sweet little self. Once he figures out that everything is okay, just different..
Also, when I got pregnant with my 2nd I am positive that my first felt the difference in me immediatly. He started acting different. He got a little more whiney, and clingy. Children are spiritual little souls, maybe he can feel that you are creating another life in you and it is a different part of you that he has never felt before.
Sounds to me like his whole world has changed and he just needs to know it's okay.

Well, I think his being two is less of a factor than having moved into a new place with all of this new activity. And it's a stress for him. Try spending extra time with him and give him extra love. You will need to keep this up when the baby is born - as impossible as this feels now! Having a sling or another type of baby carrier will be a great help with this, and you can nurse and cuddle your newborn on the floor so that you can also play with blocks, trucks, etc. with your toddler, staying at his level and giving him that time with Mom that he needs. This will also keep your toddler from getting too jealous of the new baby.

On that note, I heard a great suggestion from a new mother who also had a toddler: when her toddler wanted to be picked up in the latter months of her pregnancy, or had other needs she couldn't meet because of her pregnancy, she wouldn't say, "Mommy can't [fill in the blank] because of the baby," she'd say "...because Mommy's back hurts," or whatever. Still true, but your first child will hear it so much differently, and that resentment won't build up.

Good luck!

L.

My guess is that the change in the living arrangement may be causing his behavior. New environments are always stressful on little ones. I would do everything you can to ensure that he feels safe and secure and get him into a routine asap.

I just answered your other one and now I am reading this one. These are the reasons your child is regressing to wetting in his pants and in the bed. He is going through some major changes in his life. That is alot to throw on a little guy. He is not only competing for you, but against all of the other kids. everything he knew that was "normal" is now gone. Some children start doing all of this when they have change in their life.

I would keep sticking with the attached parenting technique for a while before acclimating him to a new situation such as punishments. It's a grey area that you might want to discuss with your husband about in terms of what you want to do when your 3 year old starts to "act out".