So Frustrated with Daughter Being Sick - Vent

Updated on September 26, 2012
M.N. asks from Jesup, GA
19 answers

My daughter has been dealing with stomach issues since last winter. I went from a very health child who had perfect attendance at school to a child who was miserable every morning complaining of stomach pain and who missed 9 days last school year and so far has missed 3 days this year.

Last winter when this all started I took my daughter to the pediatrician and they started out saying that she had drainage (she did have a headcold at the time) and that the drainage was making her stomach hurt. They put her on something to help with the drainage and try to dry her up. That didn't work so we went back. This time they treated her for a sinus infection. That didn't work so we went back. This time they decided that the drainage was due to allergies (she had never had allergies before but I do know that they can develop) and that the drainage was causing acid reflux. They put her on a prescription nasal spray and prevacid. We continued to deal with the same issues for the rest of the school year with really no relief for my poor kid.

This summer we actually ended up pulling her out of summer camp because she was miserable in the mornings and constantly felt sick to her stomach. As long as she could sleep through it she would get some relief. So my daughter stayed home all summer by herself. She did great and she actually really liked it.

We took a trip this summer to Idaho - I am in Indiana so a completely different environment . She continued to have stomach issues. She was taking Claritin and prevacid at this point trying to give her some relief. She was on 30 mgs of prevacid a day.still having issues but like I said if she could sleep through it then she was given a little bit of relief.

She is again having stomach issues, especially now that she has to get up early and can't sleep through the stomach pain. I thought that I had it figured out to be a lactose intolerance. She was noticibly worse if she had ice cream the night before and seemed to be quite a bit better with no ice cream. I also took her to an ENT who told us that it was not drainage that it was totally acid reflux and put her on 60 mgs of Prevacid a day.

So we cut out the ice cream and that seemed to help for about a week and a half. Well that now seems to not be working either.

I took her to a different pediatrician yesterday who I actually really liked. He spent a lot of time with us asking questions and listening to what we had to say. They then did a blood profile, including thyroid, tested her urine and did an abdominal xray.

The xray showed some back up so she is now on metamucil to try to help clear that out.

The urine came back clean which was good.

The blood tests came back clean for the most part with the exception of the allergy reading (I cannot remember what the actually name of it is). Anyway it is supposed to be at 5% and hers was at 10% which shows that there is sometype of allergy that she is dealing with. Of course we have no idea what that allergy is. We are waiting for the thyroid part of the test to come back and those results should be in today or tomorrow.

So the plan now is to keep a food diary and make an appointment to see an allergist to see if they can help us figure out what is going on. We are also going to cut her prevacid dosage in half this weekend and see if that makes any difference at all.

Also another note on this is the fact that she is 10 years old and has not gained a single pound since January. She hasn't lost any weight either which is good but she should be gaining at this age.

So, we are back to tears and a miserable child in the mornings.

The Dr. just called and we may actually have an appointment with an allergist for tomorrow. I am just so frustrated with my poor kid not feeling good and just want answers.

Sorry for the vent I am just totally at my wits end. Having my child in tears every morning and telling me that her stomach hurts and that she can't concentrate during school becuse of the pain and feeling like she is going to vomit is just exhausting. Plus the fact that I know that it is affecting her friendships and so forth at school because she doesn't feel good and so she doesn't really want to play and/or interact.

Just frustrated and then of course I feel selfish and silly even writing this because I know that there are parents out there that are dealing with things that are so much worse and whose kids would probably love it if the only thing that they had to worry about was stomach pain.

Either way, thanks for reading and for letting me vent my frustrations. One of the reasons that I love this board is because it gives me the chance to just vent!

Thank you ladies!

Guess I didn't ask a question. So how do you soothe your child when they don't feel good and they are miserable but you know that they still need to go to school. How do you get through those mornings without it just tearing your heart out because you want absolutely nothing more than to make it okay and to make them feel better and not be miserable.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of your great responses.

***UPDATE*** The allergist was a complete and utter waste of time and very frustrating. He did recommend a Gastroenterologist since it is a tummy issue (course he recommended this AFTER the allergy testing). I am currently working on adjusting and watching her diet and that actually seems to be working pretty well. We even cut her Prevacid dosage in half over the weekend and it had absolutely no effect (I am seeing this as a good thing). Anyway we are going to keep watching the diet and probably continue to decrease the prevacid and see what happens. I am not saying that we won't end up going to the Gastroenterologist (I appreciate the recommendation from Bedford (sorry I can't remember your name and I can't get back to check it. :-( ) and I will definitely keep that in mind if we end up having to take that route. Anyway, so far we are doing pretty good with watching diet and she has had 6 good days in a row so that is a definite plus. Thank you so much to all of you awesome moms. Not only did you give me some AWESOME information, ideas and opinions and thoughts. You also made me feel like my stress and feelings were valid - whereas my husband has been a little more of the "your just way to sensitive and she needs to suck it up" type attitude...whole nother story and trust me he doesn't get away with it. :-) Anyway, again thank you!! ******

They had talked about doing an upper GI at the Dr's appointment yesterday and I believe that the reason that they chose not to do that at this time was because the bloodwork is showing an allergy. However, if the allergist can't find anything then I believe that is the next course of action.

The Dr. also said that he didn't really think that the symptoms sounded enough like Celiac to test her for that yet, but it is definitely on the radar.

I am going to go ahead with the food journal (even though she meets with the allergist tomorrow) to see if we see any thing there. I am also going to start trying to cut way down on processed food (course the only processed food that she had yesterday was bread and that was it) and see if that doesn't make a difference. Either way it is healthier for us.

I will update on what comes of the allergist appointment tomorrow...not even sure what to expect with that as I have never been to an allergist.

Again thank you all for your comments. I was starting to feel crazy as my husband keeps telling me that I am too soft and letting her get away with playing this. I honestly don't feel like she is playing me. However, sometimes it is hard to believe that because she feels so much better in the afternoons. She has always been this way though and all in all she is a really good kid who for the most part enjoys school.

You all have reassured me that my momma instincts are most likely right and that there really is something going on with this kid. I am definitely hoping that it is not wheat or Celiac though.

Featured Answers

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have a friend who went through a lot of sickness, undiagnosed. She finally decided to try a gluten-free diet - and it worked. She doesn't have any problems, unless she eats something with gluten! It's a tough diet - especially with a kid, but it might be worth trying.

5 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think she needs a peds GI work up to rule out celiac or another food issue. I'm so sorry. Poor baby. I hope she gets an answer soon.

4 moms found this helpful

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

My husband went through something very similar to this last year. He was almost bed ridden. He went to work and bed. That was pretty much it. For him the pain was a bloated feeling.

His first gastroenterologist thought it was diverticulitis. Even though after googling it, he kept saying he thought that diagnosis was wrong. After a colonoscopy, the doctor, said it was DEFINITELY diverticulitis and we needed to consider surgery to remove parts of his colon. No way was my hubby letting that happen. Even after this procedure "confirmed" diverticulitis, my hisband still said he didn't think he had it, so we got a second opinion. This doctor said he thought it was a food allergy or intolerance (He looked at video of the colonoscopy). We asked for allergy testing and he encouraged a food log instead, allergy testing does not show intolerances. So we started a food diary. We noticed it was worse about 24 hours after dairy. We started with lactose free milk and no ice cream. The issues were better, but still there. So we went entirely dairy free. This is a challenge. Dairy is in everything. Lactic acid is a dairy product used in breads, lunch meat, french fries, etc. Once we went dairy free for him, his symptoms subsided for the most part. He has a day here and there where he doesn't feel 100%, but he is no longer withing in pain. I know you aren't asking for a diagnosis, but just thought I'd share.

I guess what I am getting at, is that you need to find the right doctor for your kiddo. Be a pain in the butt until they find out what is going on. Hopefully this new doctor will have the answers you need.

As far as the rough mornings, just hang in there. I have a friend whose daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy in high school. She missed a lot of school. She wound up getting a GED instead of a degree. My friend says all the time she wished she pushed her daughter more. She wished she made her go to school more. And she admits that many times she let her daughter stay home out of guilt, she felt bad because her daughter was sick. I realize that high school and elementary school are worlds apart, but attendance to school in important.

Sympathize with your daughter, but not too much. Explain to her that sometimes we have to work even when we don't feel 100%. Remind her of how proud you are that she went to school even when feeling under the weather. Make the mornings as simple as possible...letting her sleep in as late as possible. Remind yourself that if you made a bad choice in sending her, the nurse can call you easily. I hope your daughter starts feeling better soon!!!

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with Jeni S, I think she should see a pediatric GI doc. They will do a very thorough work up. My niece had similar issues and it turns out she does in fact have Celiac's disease. Going gluten free has made her a completely different kid!
My own daughter had headaches and tummy trouble but there is nothing physically wrong with her (we also visited the GI.) Her problem was high anxiety and stress, which we treated successfully with therapy. Does your daughter have issues with going to school and/or being around people? I only ask because you mentioned that she was happy to stay home alone during the summer, so maybe there's something going on there.
And don't feel bad about venting and reaching out, a persistently sick kid who is in pain and misses a lot of school is VERY stressful for a mom, I know! I hope you find her some relief, and soon.

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Take her to a pediatric gastroenterologist and have her checked for Crohn's Disease. This may not have anything to do with drainage. It may have to do with her intestines. Please get her tested.

Dawn

4 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Have they ruled out Celiac because that is what it sounds like. My niece went through this for years and then they got a new doctor who was shocked they never tested for Celiac. She has been fine since they cut out all glutens.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Denver on

Oh I feel your pain. My DD is 12 and has dealt with this for some time. It's so hard to have her miss school and deal with all the make up work. I know all kids are different, and you should of course keep working with the docs. Our story sounds a lot like yours, though. Went through different testing and then they did x-ray her and found out she was super backed up. And for her, it is totally the dairy. Not sure if it's really an intolerance with mine, dairy just plugs her up. Seems almost too simple. But when we limit her dairy, include tons of fiber in her diet, and clean her out with miralax, she feels great.

It seems crazy that she was missing school and feeling miserable due to poop! But that was the case, and she was miserable. She always tried tums or prevacid, but that never worked. Miralax is our lifesaver, it dissolves tasteless so I put it in smoothies and whatever else she drinks.

Hopefully your results will be just as simple and you figure it out. Your poor girl, I know they try so hard, it's just awful.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

This is horrible!! I feel so bad for your little girl. We went thru a similar experience with my daughter - she was seven or eight - complained about stomach pains, missed a lot of school, etc., - went for all kinds of tests, etc. - couldn't figure it out. Then somewhere along the line someone thot to check for a hernia!! Oh my gosh - never would have thot a hernia on a little girl but that's what it was. Surgery was scheduled - got thru it just fine - tiny little "bikini-line" incision that barely shows and she's not had any problems since!!

Prayers sent your way!!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Have you tried a GI doc. I would do this first and then an allergist. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

It is so hard to feel unable to help your child when they are ill. You deserve a good vent and kudos to you for staying on the attack in an effort to help your baby.

Don't leave out prebiotics, probiotics and digestive enzymes. Combined with the visit to the allergist I just know you are on the right track to wellness!

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

If her colon is backed up that can cause the reflux and stomach issues. It all is connected. She needs to take something like Miralax to clean her out and then try to keep it that way. I can't eat ice cream of milk at night as it causes my throat to tighten sort of and that is allergy to it I'm sure but in the day it isn't so bad. I would cut out all dairy at bedtime, eat early in the evening with no late night snacks and see if this helps. She could take Prilosec or Prevacid too with this. It's a start at least and you will need to stick with this for weeks before it may help.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I have acid reflux (and lots of drainage due to allergies) and the ONLY med that helps me is Nexium, and I've tried many. The ice cream may have been an issue because dairy causes extra phlegm. In a pinch, Tums really helps me, as well. Please see if Nexium is approved for kids.

I'm so sorry your little girl is going through this. I know, first hand, how yucky she must feel and how helpless you must feel!

Yoga and stretching are great for the back up issue. Also, please try raising the head of her mattress up about 6-8 inches so acid doesn't creep up in the middle of the night. I just folded a sleeping bag in 4ths and slipped it under the mattress. Carbonated drinks are a killer. Nuts and chocolate and mint are culprits for loosening up the sphincter muscle, so avoid those. At bedtime have her use a non-minty toothpaste such as Tom's of Maine- strawberry or orange.

I'm sure you are doing all the of the allergy stuff--closed windows at night, no down comforters or pillows, etc.

Good luck and keep us posted!

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm so sorry. I went through this when my son was 2y. For him, his allergy turned out to be pears. So please while keeping the food journal, be open to any and all possible causes.

Since she hasn't gained weight, you might want to ask them to test her for Celiacs also. (allergy to wheat)

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M.P.

answers from Bloomington on

I have been through tummy issues myself and with my daughter. It could be a food allergy. Not sure which allergy doctor you are going to, but if it is Drs. McCormack at Allergy and Asthma, you will love them. My son went through allergy testing the first time when he was 7. It is a little uncomfortable when they do the testing, but if she realizes that hopefully this will give you answers as to why she doesn't feel well, it won't be too bad.

If you need a tummy doctor, I have been very pleased with IMA in Bloomington. We saw Dr. Ghosh and Dr. Bhandari, both Gastroenterology doctors.

It is very tough on a parent when your kid hurts and you don't know what to do to help them. Sending hugs!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Oh honey, that's got to be awful for both of you. Many hugs. If the doctors think she has acid reflux, then a trip to the chiropractor may help more than all the medicine in the world. As children grow, some muscles get stronger more quickly than others. It's very possible that she has a weak muscle somewhere down in her lower back or stomach that has pulled her digestive system out of alignment and it's allowing all the acid to creep back up while she sleeps. If you haven't already, try having her sleep at an angle. You can put the front legs of her bed up on a few books and then give her two pillows. That little change can really help.

Then go see a well respected chiropractor who treats children and ask if she or he can help. One of my five year old daughters has very severe reflux and the chiropractor did way more than Prevacid, Prilosec or any of the other medicines that the pediatrician and allergist prescribed. It may not work for your daughter - but you've got nothing to lose. I'm not sure if any of the doctors have already said this, but stomach problems being worse in the morning is the biggest sign of uncontrolled reflux.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I know I'm late, but your post tugged at my heart. I feel so sorry for your daughter and for you. There is nothing worse than seeing your child cry due to pain and there is nothing you can do to take it away!

I was just wondering if she could be on some sort of homeschooling or independent study or something this year so she can sleep in every morning through the pain and then do her school work later in the day.

Just trying to think of ways the poor baby doesn't have to suffer EVERY DAY! Being in pain like that for a prolonged period can really cause depression and other things.

Hugs and prayers to you and your baby!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.H.

answers from Canton on

I wish you luck. My daughter was 5 when she had stomach pains. It's very hard to deal with because you have no clue what's wrong. For us it was simple. Since she was a picky eater the pediatrician had her take a daily vitamin for years. When she needed surgery we stopped the vitamin, (which we were told could never be the cause) and her pains went away. She was getting too much of something with the vitamin and that caused all the problems. I hope your daughter's problem ends up being as simple.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Poor kid must be completely miserable and very disheartened. And all these doctor visits are no fun for her. She's missing out on a lot too.

I have friends who went through Celiac, diverticulitis, ulcerative colitis and cyclic vomiting syndrome, plus lactose intolerance and acid reflux. Quite a few of them went through a long series of tests before anything was diagnosed. However, I can tell you that there is no way your child's issues would continue this long from nasal allergies and postnasal drip. There is a great deal you can do that is non-medical and much easier than tiresome elimination diets. If you'd like some help, let me know. I can show you some things on line in about 20 minutes that will give you a ton of info.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Cleveland on

I think the diet diary is the way to go. It could also be gluten. Hang on there. Havig sick kids is horrible on so many levels. But you will get there.

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