Sleep Issues in 2.5 Year Old

We just went through the same thing with my daughter at age 2. It did pass. I looked it up and the books/internet said it happens. It did pass. We were very patient and gentle with her, but I wouldn't stay in her room with her. I'd wait in the hall (and read a book) and just say, "It's OK. Go to sleep." Over and over. I also got a lot of books from the library on being afraid of the dark or being afraid of monsters under the bed which helped too. Also, we went to visit my parents and slept over there for a couple of nights and that helped her forget about her night fright.

Good luck. This too will pass.

My daughter who is almost two has always been great when going to bed. She has never fussed or woken up in the middle of the night. She visited her Grandma for a couple of days and when she came back she woke up almost 4 times for a few nights in a row. We left the hall light on for her and she slept longer. We thought she had a night light at Grandma's so we bought her a little one and she does much better now, has not gotten up. We also started warning her about bedtime a little earlier because Grandpa would sit and hold her and rock her to sleep while at their house so she needed little more prep before she went to sleep. Y

You also mentioned that she is scared of vacuums, my daughter was at first two. We bought her a little vacuum that talks from Target and asked her to help me vacuum the house and she started and then I should and explained my vacuum to her and turn it on and put it in corner on and helped her vacuum with hers and reassured her that I was doing the same thing and it was fun to help me. I don't know if that will work for all kids but I think its worth a try. I hope that helps.

Hi R.,

My son went through this at the exact same time and he too was a perfect sleeper until 2.5. We had to start leaving the light on in the hall and I also found that asking him if he was scared in the middle of the night when he was crying helped b/c he'd say yes and then be calmer. I think 2.5-3 is a tough time for them emotionally and sleep becomes a battle ground. The night waking has ended, but we still have bedtime battles- not nightly, but for little phases every few weeks. The more we responded to him, the more he got out of bed. I don't let him wail or anything like that, but I do try to give it as little attention as possible (at bedtime- not if he wakes at night- then I go and soothe no matter what). But it sounds like the same thing. I was really freaked out by it since he never had sleep trouble before, but through talking to other moms, I learned that 2.5 can be a really difficult time! And it sure was! It'll pass.... Good luck!

Yikes! Unfortunately, it sounds familiar to me. We had problems with my now 3.5 year old for almost 6 months starting at 2.5 years old. He started taking longer and longer to get down to sleep and then every other night or so, he would wake up in the middle of the night. He wouldn't be unhappy or anything, but he just wouldn't go back to sleep fpr a couple of hours. Like I said, this lasted for close to 6 months.

We talk to his pediatrician and several specialists about it. (The new UW sleep clinic does see children.) None of them had any great suggestions. Eventually, he just stopped doing it again.

Things we tried, shortening or eliminating naps; earlier bedtime; later bedtime; no sugar; responding to him right when he woke up; ignoring the wake up as much as possible; positive rewards for staying in bed and more for staying asleep; punishment for getting out of bed. We got darkening room shades and he has always sletp with a sound machine and two comfort object. We were very constant with his bedtime routine as well. As you can see, we really tried everything. And eventually, he just grew out of it.

Since it's only happened once for you, chances are it will go as quickly as it came. Probably has to do with the new baby and realizing that he/she gets to be up in the night with attention. Good luck to you!

My son did the same thing when he was 2 1/2 years old. He always wanted the light on and wanted us to lay by him until he fell asleep. We only lasted a couple of nights before it got old... Plus, with the light on, our baby was having a hard time sleeping. Finally, we found a night lamp in the shape of Lightning McQueen (his favorite) and all our problems went away fairly quickly. After reading him a book or two, we turn on his lamp and shut off the overhead light... He's fine the rest of the night. From time to time, he'll still want us to cuddle for a minute or two but we never have to lay with him for very long. My point is: We never did ask him whether or not he was afraid of the dark because, just like you, we were afraid he'd just become scared of something that wasn't an issue. We just got him the lamp and made it SO exciting... "You can ONLY have this on at night time... Only you got a lamp... We didn't get one for the baby." He felt SO special and we got to sleep at night... You might want to give it a try. Good luck!

kids as they grow will have several 'falling back' periods. they take 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

first of all, is there a nightmare happening? night terror? sleepwalking? point being, is your daughter really awake, or is this a sleep disruption where she isnt fully awake? if shes up for 2 hours im would assume she is awake..

has anything tramatic happened in your family lately? even if a child cant understand whats happening, they DO understand when you are stressed or worried, and that could be interrupting her sleep, possibly with nightmares.

if there is something in her room that scares her, hide it from view. if there is an open window, shut the shades. if she needs a nightlight put one in there so she can see. i know that even I am afraid if i cannot see - whether it be deep water or darkness.

most of all, remember that the more you can be there for your daughter as she goes through this, the more confidently she will get through it. dont treat it like an annoyance, or a bother, even if it is, cuz then your daughter will get the impression that her feelings arent important.. its a stretch for a loving mother to give that impression, but kids dont understand that mom needs sleep, they understand that there is something they need or want... does that make sense?

now, within reason. if she wants to be up and playing all night long, that obviously is not acceptable. even the 2 hours i would figure is not acceptable. if needed, place her matress on the floor in your bedroom. she may be more comfortable closer to you for a while. if shes been trying anything new or learning anything new, maybe take a step back with her and try to avoid that thing or deal with it as little as possible. new things are sometimes hard for kids, as they gain independence, also can come some anxiety that mom is gonna stop helping or stop being there, which isnt true, but it can sometimes feel that way to a kid.

anyway, just have patience, and loving responses to your daughter and hopefully she will get back into her normal routine. make sure that she is safe if she is staying somewhere else on a regular basis, and make sure that she always has your loving arms to catch her when she needs that time.

maybe shes reacting to the new baby. it sometimes takes some time to get used to baby being around, and i spose by 6 months, it can start to get annoying, this person taking all moms time away. make sure that you and your daughter are getting time during the day where its just you two.

Maybe ask your daughter why she doesn't want to go to bed, or if there is something that is bothering her. It is kind of an open ended questions so your daughter can just give her input of what is waking her or keeping her awake. That might be less invasive way of asking what are you afraid of or suggesting a problem, which in the end might add to the issue.

Hopefully she will be able to say it is too dark in my room or that the curtain moves... something easy for you to fix with a night light or explanation (the heater/ac is creating a small wind).

Does your 2 year old share a room with the 6 month? If so maybe the baby is disturbing your 2 year olds sleep pattern. I know that sometimes there are no other options besides sharing a room, but in that case just explain that it is just the baby making a noise or moving.

Does she have a favorite blanket or stuff animal to sleep with? Sometimes a child needs that reassurance of a comfort object, instead of always needing you as the comfort object.

Hopefully some reassuring words that everything is ok will help easy your daughter's worries. Best wishes in your issue!

Dear Sahm,

Several things precious mom, your 2.5 year old daughter may feel she needs more assurance of her special place in the family. Even though she is getting lots of love, she may want an extra hug. She may be experiencing a litle sibbling rivalry. Also she may have her back molars coming in 0uch! ( check with your Dr. as to what to give her. We have used baby aspirin or liquid tylenol, and both have worked great!

Happy sleeping, A.

At that age my son sarting requiring a light on all night because the dark was too scary when he would wake a little in the middle of the night. If it was pitch black he would start screaming. So we have an LED light in the fixture near his bed that can be dimmed down to a suitable sleeping level. We started with normal night lights that plug into the wall but they seemed to cast too many scary shadows up onto the walls.

We also started encouraging him to talk about his fears. He was totally scared of monsters that he could see in the corners of his room. So we introduced him to monster=go=away dust. We would pretend to fling imaginary dust everywhere he saw something. I would arm him with "bags" of the dust before tucking him in. Others use an actual spray bottle with water.

My daughter started suffering from nighttears around that age, it is very simillar to nightmares. You may want to talk to your docotor aobut it, they used to perscribe medicine but they don't recommend it anymore. I have found that leaving a light one and playing soft music helps my daughter, she still gets up sometimes, but this is something they grow out of.

Sounds familiar. Our girl is almost 8! We still have to leave her bedside light on and created a bedtime routine for her: We put on music of her choice to listen to and would read to or sing to her to get her to sleep.

One thing that did help a secret a Dr. told us.... Give her a warm glass of milk. Meat has a sedating effect as does Warm Milk. No wonder breast-fed babies fall asleep that way pretty easily too. When she is older and if still a problem some recommend a small dose of synthetic Melatonin which our body naturally produces and if off can cause sleep disturbances. Do NOT go the natural way here as otherwise melatonin is harvested from a gland in cows brains including from England...
Or get her body to produce enough melatonin at the right time the real natural way.

This has to do with our sleep cycle. So to recap: find a routine that works. Warm glass of milk (it could be even microwaved if needed) though on a stove top still seems to be the better way. Just make sure it is not too hot! Our daughter's sleep cycle was off and Melatonin was the only thing that did that helped the most. Kids who are hypersensitive probably also should be considered for attention differences as our's was but it only took 5 more years till both parents agreed on that... and the 20 years experienced teacher is amazed at our child's huge different performance in 2nd Grade! So good luck!

I would check a few things out and let it ride its course a little longer. It could take a few trials to figure out what the issue is. Sometimes they just get that way for awhile for no reason, though. Two of my kids went through a week of insomnia for no reason. They'd go to bed fine, but would wake up in a couple of hours and NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP for hours and hours and hours!
First I would watch the naps. It may be time to phase out the naps, like it or not. You could try that for 3 days and see what happens. Once isn't really enough to know for sure.
Then I would add in some extra exercise for exhaustion. An early evening wrestling session with dad, or a run to the park for some play time. Some kids need to get rid of energy that way.
Then I would see about a bedtime routine if you aren't already doing one. Maybe she is in a phase where she just needs more time with you and it is coming out at night. I have had children who were so busy playing all day that they didn't have time for me, but they still needed it. You could carve out some alone time with her before bed to just snuggle, talk, read etc, to force that time with her. (bedtimes are the worst for me, I want them to just go to sleep and let me alone now, I've had enough by then, lol)

Most likely, it is just a miserable phase that you just have to trudge through the best you can.

She could be having nightmares which can be hard for a toddler to express. Comfort her, try soft music, a nightlight, etc. and be sure to monitor what she is watching on TV or listening to on the radio.

SAHM of seven

When a child starts to become afraid of things, especially the dark, fast-moving vehicles, vacuums, big dogs, etc., it's a sign that she's getting smarter and growing up. Now she's become more aware of her environement, including it's potential dangers. She's learning now what to be cautious of and what scary things won't hurt her - she just doesn't have the life experience yet to know the difference! I'd advise to comfort her with whatever you know will reassure her best, remembering it'll be a bit of time until she's not afraid when waking at night in the dark. A night light can help too. I have a four-year old who would get scared around this age and she'd come running into our bed or stay crying in hers. She doesn't do that much anymore, but just last night, she woke crying and I assummed it was a nightmare. I just stayed with her until she calmed and then she went back to sleep. I imagine it's h*** o* you when you've got a baby at home too. Don't feel like you're wasting time if you take naps with them - they'll grow up and then you'll have more time to get other things done. (When she was younger, I always felt guilty that I wasn't getting much done). I hope this helps.

R.,
My son slept w/o a nightlight until he was about 4, then his imagination got the better of him. To my dismay, we had to get a nightlight - it worked wonders. Make sure if you get one, it is a dim one. If you ever get there, IKEA has something called a "SPOKA" in their childrens bedding or the lighting section. It is maybe $4.99 night light. It is white and soft with a face and sits on a shelf. Whats nice is it is a self charging AC adapter version so it can be moved away from an outlet (taken into bed, taken camping, whatever...) and you just have to tap it on the head to turn it off and on. If you get one, the red light one is the best for a nightlight (My daughter has that one.) My son has the green one and I think it is too bright. Good luck.

Check out Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." It should have some good ideas for you. Also, have you checked to make sure she doesn't have anything physical going on that could be causing her discomfort--ear infection, teeth issues, etc? It sounds like she may have some anxiety issues you might want to talk to her doctor about. Try to be sympathetic about her fears and don't dismiss them. Good luck.

She is just discovering new things about herself, like phobias or fears and if you get her a nightlight and some glow-in-the-dark stars for her to put on her ceiling and walls, and most importantly--be consistent with her--she will grow out of it I bet. Then again, you can always tell her she is welcome to crawl into bed with mommy when she gets scared. Having an 'open door' policy with mommy is a source of comfort for a little child that age.

Ask her about her fears R.. Look what is happening when you don't: You use words like "feisty, difficult and stubborn" and are getting wrapped up into thinking this is behavioral.

Sleeping is not a choice - and neither is not sleeping. Kids get scared, they go through fazes, they can have night terrors for years. If YOU are afraid of her night terrors, imagine how frightened SHE is!

A two-three year old girl can easily be helped to sleep even with night terrors by talking to her about how SAFE she is and how mommy and daddy are protecting her at all times.

Make up a story to help her sleep... people do it all the time (God/Jesus/the sleep fairies/angles... are right here watching over you.... you are so loved!...)

Then, leave the light on for her if necessary and STAY IN THE ROOM WITH HER until she is asleep. It's time to read calming bedtime books - Charlotte's Web, Winnie The Pooh.. until she is fully asleep.

Bedtime routines are important to making toddlers feel safe as they fall asleep. Your good choice of books, and staying with her until she is deeply asleep will allay her fears and turn her back into a "good" sleeper again... until the next thing comes up for her.

Be flexible R.. Being a child is scary!

Wow, this sounds so much like my son. Starting at about 2 years 3 months, for about 4 months, it was AWFUL. His sleep went from great to terrible. And nothing we did seemed to help. There was a ton of crying. Luckily, he was still in his crib so we did not have to deal with him getting out of bed. Eventually we ended up leaving his light turned up, door wide open, and finding words that comforted him. "We'll come back when it's time to get up" helped him. Wording it slightly different did NOT work. It was so weird.

We did give in and sleep in his room with him. I don't think this was the correct answer, but when you're desperate for sleep...And when his sleep did start to get better, we were able to break him of needing us there. Now we only have to do that when we're away from home. He's honestly quite scared.

Anther thing that did help was moving bedtime later. But it took a week plus of time to see the results. It wasn't like we put him to bed later one night and he magically slept better. I also made sure his nap started no mater than 1, and woke him up 1 1/2 hours later. That had been his pretty consistent schedule before, but when the bad nights started, he started sometimes lengthening his nap.

Our son is now almost 3, and although not back to the awesome sleeper he was, it's much better. Getting him down is sometimes still a fight. But that seems to be par for the course as he gets older and more independent. He does still sometimes wake up and need us briefly. But all he gets is covered by his blanket and reassuring words. Many nights he completely fine.

I believe there are developmental things going on around 2 1/2 that create these challenges. They are more aware, more independent, and I do think their sleep needs start changing. It will pass. And if you do start some slightly bad habits because you need some sleep, I do believe you'll be able to break them down the road when you're child starts heading from disequilibrium to more equilibrium again. In ECFE classes they've mentioned often the 1/2 year point is the time of most disequilibrium. Boy do I believe it!

Good luck!