5 Year Old Majorly Scared of the Dark, What to Expect?

My son went through a phase when he was extremely afraid of the dark. He would scream and cry when I turned off the lights, spend any time I was in his room asking for the lights on, and if I left the room, he would throw a fit that once literally went on for an hour. He was only 2.5 at the time, and couldn't vocalize what scared him, but finally he was falling asleep with the lights on. I felt like you did (especially since several studies have found that sleeping with the lights on causes disrupted sleep and can lead to a host of problems).

My friends advised me to just CIO with him, but I wasn't willing to do so, and I would not advise it to you, either, unless you think your son is being deliberately stubborn. I never leave my child alone to be frightened on his own.

It took nearly two months, but we got him back to sleeping with just a nightlight. Here are a couple of things we did that helped:
1. Let him fall asleep with the lights on for a couple of nights, but turn them off once he's asleep to help avoid sleep disruption. If this doesn't work, he isn't ready for it yet, so let him sleep with the light on for a night or two and then try again.
2. Does he have a nightlight? If not, add one. If he does, you might consider making it brighter or even adding another in his room. We ended up buying this dim wall lamps that lit up the room effectively but weren't as glaring as his overhead. We also put a brighter bulb in his nightlight so that when we turned off the wall lights, his room was still quite bright.
3. Get him his own bedside light that he can easily turn on and off on his own. I don't know if you have an Ikea near you, but they have a very nice plastic one with a glow-in-the-dark on/off button.

I'm so sorry you're struggling with this. I hope that this helps!

I like Liz's post: New lighting, and NOT letting him cry it out. He's scared and needs to know his parents have his back. It will make him more confident, not less, if you go to him. Your sleep deprivation will be temporary but the postive effect on him of your being there, reliably, in the night, will stick with him forever. This will pass, though it does not feel like it when you have nights with broken sleep.

Also, your ideas about bug spray etc. are great. Expand on that perhaps by having him do an "inspection" of his room before bedtime: Go in with him and his tools and look everywhere with him, under the bed, in the closet, on the ceiling, in the corners; he may feel even more empowered if you encourage him to come up with his own "battle cry" like "OK, any spiders, I'm the boss of this room, so get out of here NOW!" to say as he inspects each space. He needs to feel more in control, at least when he's awake; you truly can't control what happens in his brain when he's asleep. (And as for those relatives who freak about spiders -- geez, I have zero sympathy for adults who freak about bugs; their fears are theirs to own and that's fine but they can learn to control the reactions, especially around kids, who will pick up on their fears!)

He can't make the dark run off, though, and that's where the lighting comes in. There are lamps that gradually fade to darkness over time -- look for one of those for his room; it would be brighter at bedtime and then gradually fade out to a dim night-light level so he doesn't have the whole light on all night long.

This is a very typical age for these fears, and the fact it's kicked in so badly when he is sick, well, that's typical too. Don't over-talk the spiders or the dark with him; just give him rituals to empower him right now and be prepared for the fears to continue for a while yet.

have u tried a nightlight.. its better thn having the lights on but stillmwil b enough light for him

My son became very afraid of the dark when he was 5 years old as well. We just let him sleep with the light on every night. That made him happy and he was able to fall asleep. I could never sleep with alight on personally, but it worked for him. He is almost 8 now and just recently he is willing to have the light off. He does have 2 dim lights (a paper lamp and a night light) he keeps on in his room, so it actually is not all that dark. Some nights he would line up all his stuffed animals around him for protection...or line up all his toy guns. When I was a kid and had a fever I would "see" things that were not there and think they were real too...so it could be the fever. I say let your son sleep with all the lights on. There is no harm in that.

My 5 yo hates the dark. We have "starlights"- a string of colored LED lights in the shape of stars (which we bought for Christmas). We string these over his dresser mirror. They are not bright, and leave the room darkened enough for sleep. Also, we have a Spoka from Ikea. It's a soft, rechargeable color-cycling nightlight that he can take to bed with him. It's also LED, so it's not very bright either. The combination of these things really helps.
Also, you might consider a bed tent. They sell the just about everywhere, and it helps them feel safer and enclosed. My son had a Spongebob one, which conveniently came with a spongebob push light. We recently were able to ditch the tent when we got him a bunk bed. Sleeping on the top bunk makes him feel safe.
I hope this helps!

Just one question that I haven't seen the info on in your posts up to now...
Since he is/has been sick, is he taking any medication? Sometimes medication can affect them in odd ways.. making them feel woozy or whatever, more clingy, and really getting their imagination going.