Should I Be OK with a Cashier Writing a Note to My Husband on His Receipt?

Updated on October 08, 2015
P.F. asks from Tampa, FL
17 answers

I found the receipt from my husband's coffee that had a handwritten note on the back that said, "Ellie" (and below that) "What are you waiting for? I was wondering what this meant, who was Ellie, and why is she writing on the back of HIS receipt??
I found out that "Ellie" is the artist and "What are you waiting for?" is a song.
After listening to the song, I was furious as the words were, "Love me like you do", "Touch me like you do"..."What are you waiting for" among other very intimate suggestions.
My husband claims he doesn't know anything about it, I think he's lying.
What would you do after 28 year marriage?????

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So What Happened?

First I have to say I never expected some of the mean, nasty answers!! WOW! I thought this was Moms helping Moms.
As far as the theory that the song was just playing and that's why she wrote it, my husband claimed to know nothing about it and tried to deny that it was even his receipt after seeing there was something written on the back...although the time and date were printed on the receipt and it clearly shows it was his. This is a Spanish supermarket that sells groceries as well as lunches and coffee. My husband went there very often without me. He likes Cuban coffee, I don't. OBVIOUSLY I would not even be seeking advice if my marriage was as perfect as it was 10 years ago. He has even told me he's going through a midlife crisis and that's why he's not as happy so THAT is why I am suspicious.
I wasn't a raving lunatic when I asked about the receipt. I found it when I was cleaning up his trash he left. My 19 year old son was sitting right there when I picked it up and read it. My husband even said maybe my son's girlfriend wrote it, so I asked her. She didn't, but she wanted to know what it meant too so she went into the store to see who Ellie was and she was the one who talked to the cashier who said it was a song, but did not tell her why she wrote it.
The fact is, she had to have written it in the few seconds it took her to remove the receipt from the register and hand it to my husband standing there.
My son's girlfriend was upset when she heard the song and said she wouldn't want anyone handing her boyfriend a receipt with that song title written on the back. I met my husband when I was 14 and he did cheat when we were dating, we broke up and always ended up back together, I have always believed we were soul mates, but he is not the same man today.

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A.M.

answers from Phoenix on

I would think the song was playing when my husband got coffee and he asked the barista what the song was because he liked it and wanted to find it on iTunes later. Because I trust my husband.

15 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

That's it? A song on a receipt is all you've got and you think he might be cheating?

I don't buy it. Either there are more red flags, you're just crazy or this isn't a real question. Yawn, I want my three minutes back.

11 moms found this helpful

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Insecure much?

This has to be a troll.

Do you ever look at receipts you get? Smiley faces, "have a nice day" .

Geesh woman, put on your big girl panties and take a chill pill.

11 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

The barista could draw a treasure map on the back of my receipt and I wouldn't notice. I think you are nuts. Well I also think you are a troll because no one after 28 years would get their knickers in a twist over a note on a receipt.

For god sake don't go to Costco, they have been known to write smiley faces on their receipts.

By the way, what are you waiting for is Nickelback, it is just part of a song by Ellie so learn to use google or trust your husband
_______________

Um, I don't open messages from trolls

11 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

After 17 years of marriage, nothing. Because I trust my husband. And because it's just the name of a song and the artist that sings it.

Unless there are other things that would indicate he's cheating - real, concrete things, you're being irrational about this and need to stop and figure out why.

10 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

It would never occur to me to think my husband is lying unless I had plenty of other occurrences that make me doubt his fidelity. If he were a cheater, I'd leave him. If he is being hit on by a waitress or barista, I'd be amused and would be teasing him mercilessly about it. Who cares if someone thinks he's hot, if you are his wife and the one he comes home to??? Do you think he's having a quickie with the barista in the rest room? After 28 years, the last thing I would do is panic over something written on a receipt, which could easily have been meant for another customer or a co-worker and then it got put on your husband's table.

Maybe your husband heard the song and wanted to download it or buy it for you? So of course he's denying it now and you have no hope of getting it as a gift.

My husband and I have a very trusting relationship, and we each have work and friend relationships with others. But if I were deeply concerned in your situation, I'd be dropping by to get coffee with him, holding hands and laughing at little inside jokes. I sure wouldn't be looking with hostility at minimum wage (or less) workers who are surviving on tips and have greater worries than a married man of 28 years.

9 moms found this helpful
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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

The name of the artist and a song by her is listed. If it was followed by a phone number......might be a different story. I have been married 25 years and I do trust my husband. Honestly, who has not grabbed a piece of paper to write something down. The key is do you trust your husband? Why do you think he is lying?

9 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Either you trust him or you don't.
If he can be lured away - who needs him?
If he's not on his knees begging to be with you and grateful for the pleasure of married life with you - just kick him to the curb - or 'set him free'.
If you are unsure how your marriage is doing - maybe it could use a tune up - seek some marriage counseling or retreat and get it figured out.

http://www.jeffanddebby.com/ministries/marriage/marriage-...

http://www.foryourmarriage.org/try-a-five-point-tune-up-f...

http://marriagemissions.com/about-us-2/marriage-enrichmen...

8 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

how weird.

both the circumstance, and this question.

i mean, even if there is an artist called 'ellie' who has this song, it's also a very common name and a very general question. the two aren't necessarily linked- and sending the guerrilla girlfriend in to ask the cashier doesn't sound like the best fact-finding strategy.

on the surface it's no biggie. maybe he casually asked 'what's that song playing? i like it' and she wrote it down for him. but if that was the case he'd just have said so, right?

for me this wouldn't even raise a red dot let alone a red flag. but i'm not one bit suspicious of my husband.

hard to say in this case if you're being paranoid and dramatic, or if he's being sneaky and creepy. could go either way.

but after 28 years if you still think he lies to you, there's a problem.
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

V.S.

answers from Reading on

You know the answer to this. You just don't want to believe it, and yet only one answer from us will satisfy you. Sorry. I think he's screwing around. Either that or you're just here to stir the pot.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

I didn't know how to answer this yesterday so I didn't. It's such an odd question

The only time I ever suspected a guy of cheating on me (my radar was going) he was. So yes, I used to find off little signs here and there. Then I got kind of weird and started searching for them (and found more signs). The thing is, if that's where you are - that's not a good sign, it means you don't trust your husband already.

Who knows what that message means. Yes, it does sound odd. I don't think any of us can tell you what to do - do what YOU need to do to feel ok about this.

You probably should have included more info in your original post. This sounds like it's turned into a big melodrama from your SWH. To have your son's girlfriend involved to this extent .. is just odd. And unhealthy. Are you all discussing whether your husband is faithful?

If this is real (and I really hope it is not) then marriage counselling.

Good luck

5 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Why are you looking at his receipts?

5 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

go with him every day to get his coffee. make it abundantly clear that hes your husband. and let your hubby know how much that note bothered you. if it seems that you can't get over it i suggest marriage counseling. they are trained in this sort of stuff and know how to handle it.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I've been married over 25 years. If this happened to me? I would laugh it off.

You sent your son's girlfriend to the store? Oh my word!! Go yourself if you are that paranoid.

You married a man who cheated on you and you are still holding it over his head 28 years later? Honey. You need help. You need to let go of the past. If you do not trust your husband or believe he is changed?? Try marriage counseling. Try dating your husband again. Quit being paranoid.

4 moms found this helpful
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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it's a long way to go if she's trying to give your husband the green light for an affair!

3 moms found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Please, just go in and ask her why she did that.

This not only gives you a face to face with her it gives HER a face to face with you. IF he's flirting with her she may not realize he's married or that he's not a player. SO you going there let's her know you have seen it and know she's trying to push things a bit far.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Dallas on

So I guess if you are freaking out over a song title written on a receipt, then you definitely don't want to hear that its the name of a song that is in the movie 50 Shades of Grey.

The artists full name is Ellie Goulding and the song is actually called Love Me Like You Do. Its actually a very catchy song, I think Ellie has such a unique voice.

1 mom found this helpful
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