Seeking Help Getting My 11 Year Old to Study

S.--
I have this problem also but not with an 11 year old...mine is with a 7 year old. My DH and I sat down and worked out a plan...my son can not play video games or outside with friends until all homework is done...Homework is done as soon as my two oldest come home from school, that way they have the rest of the night to hang out and do whatever...also at the end of the week if they don't fight and argue over homework we go out for a special treat after dinner. T.

I tell my kids they have homework 4 days a week. Whether their teacher gives it to them or not. I know we don't have the time to make up home assignments. But make the time, our children are an investment and one day the time you take with them now will pay off. I have four kids and it's hard but, I have to make the time. If not me, then who?

S.,
try setting a set time everyday for "study time"...no TV, no radio, for at least an hour on every school day. so it can be either right when you get home before everything else,, OR, a set time like 6:00pm, after he settles down and has his afternoon snack. Either way, instill in him the idea that every school day, he needs to devote at LEAST an hour towards his studies. That hour can include all homework but push him to devote some of that time to Science.If push comes to shove, give him an incentive, perhaps if he improves his habits, something that he is interested in can be his incentive to look forward to AFTER he's updated not only his habits but his grages...GOOD LUCK!!

Hi Scarlette,
I raised two of my husbands girls. The youngest one had a lot of problems before she came to live with us and NEVER STUDIED! Her mother didn't make her and she was never home anyway. When she came to live with us, she didn't want to and there were some classes she just couldn't understand. That could be what is happening with your son. He needs things pointed out to him until it dawns on him what the lesson actually is. What I did was go through the homework with my step-daughter every night. When she didn't understand, I showed her how to find the answers on her own. I did not show her the answer, I made her find it herself. It is also a good bonding time for you to spend more time with your son without his realizing it. Starting middle school is tough for a lot of kids. The trick is to take them by the hand and walk through it with them, don't lead and don't follow but with them, and above all, don't threaten. The worst thing you can do is threaten him because he will go in the other direction that you don't want. Understanding will dawn eventually and you could show him a study habit that will continue on afterwards. It takes time and a LOT of patience!!! good luck

S.,

I homeschool my children, (9th grade and 7th grade). I had the same problem with my son. What it came down to was a fear of failing. You said he will study if provided with a study sheet and not if one isnt provided....my suggestion...hlp him create a study sheet. He will learn through this process alone. Have him do short summary pages of the section work he covers so he will be ready for the tests.

If this is not an option, then I suggest you discover what kind of learner you have. Some kids are visual, some hands on, some listeners, etc. Maybe he needs to be instructed in a different way.

By all means, dont allow yourself to get frustrated and demonstrate that to him. It will only futher frustrate him making the whole thing worse. Also note that it is time for him to begin to take some responsibility for his grades and study habits and scheduleing....he may need to decide for himself what effort is needed to be successful.

I would recommend that you read anything from Dr. Raymond Moore (Like - Home Style Teaching) who has tons of research to prove that many children are not ready for formal, structured educations before age 10-12; the point being - relax...he will catch up if he is not pressured.

Below is an excerpt from one of the Moore publications:

"HOW TO BEGIN. First, don't subject your children to formal, scheduled study before age 8 to 10 or 12, whether they can read or not. To any who differ, as their evidence let them read Better Late Than Early (BLTE) or School Can Wait (SCW). In addition to our basic research at Stanford and the University of Colorado Medical School, we analyzed over 8000 studies of children's senses, brain, cognition, socialization, etc., and are certain that no replicable evidence exists for rushing children into formal study at home or school before 8 or 10.

I have a 13 yr old that is just entering the 7 grade at a new school that has 6th,7th and 8th grade. He was in elementary school last year and has been lashing out with his behavior and getting in trouble for being tardy, etc b/c he has no organizational skills. He all of sudden is not having anyone help him in his study and organizational stuff as he did in elementary. You get that school invovled. You keep in touch with that science teacher. Email the teacher, give her notes, etc. Make sure that she gives you a study guide for each test so that you can help him. If its a vocabulary you could try to make flash cards. I called out the definition and my son had to find the word that meant the definition and then we switched it around. Science is mostly learning vocabulary words something you can make up a flash card game out of it. It seemed to work for me and my son did alot better on those types of tests.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink... unless you make it really fun! Get into what he's learning in school and look for ways to make it fun and interesting... study WITH him but do in ways like: memorizing facts while dribbling the basketball or playing a game of horse based science facts; or create a board game with him if he likes board games out of poster board, dice and markers based on the subject... or take him to a museum to learn about what he's studying.... The more interesting you make it and the more involved YOU get, the more likely he'll be motivated.