School, Kids, and a Absent Dad

The school is being ridiculous. Do you have a custody document that says you have legal custody? If so, send a copy to the school with a letter saying see I have full legal custody so X is not entitled to receive information and if you continue to send him information, I will contact an attorney as you are violating my son's right to privacy.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I can just imagine how it cut you when he didn't care how Ty was doing. He's a pig!

As Momma L. pointed out schools have this policy to prevent a vindictive parent from cutting out the other parent. Just create a letter yourself and ask your ex to sign it. If he truly doesn't want to be involved, he will sign with no problem. Be warned you may have to repeat this exercise periodically to ensure the records stay up to date.

For another perspective every year my husband gets a call from his daughter's school. Without fail every year the ex puts her married boyfriend as the father and the sole contact besides herself. The school catches this "mistake" and it takes my husband driving over there with his official divorce decree to straighten out the records. We are glad they have these types of rules.

So, he is father to these boys and chose to cut out ONE of the boys? What a loser your ex is...

The school is right. They can only take the father off with the correct paperwork or court order. Just imagine if they didn't have this policy. Ugly divorces/separations would have parents manipulating schools all the time over this kind of stuff. Ex-spouses could lie and have papers redirected to them instead of the custodial parent. Absentee parents could come back and attack the school later if they ever want to 'reconnect' with their kids. They have to have this sort of policy. Even though they know the history with his father, they have to keep to the rules for legal reasons. If the father is too lazy to sign a form, then he can continue to receive paperwork he doesn't ant and to trash it. Just tell him you don't want to hear him whine about it.

You probably shouldn't have to go that far, but the school may have a strict policy that they have to follow legally, and that's probably why you got the response you did from the Dean.

I would write your ex a letter asking him to write the school as they asked. Either that, or type one out and have him sign it and notarized.

What a jerk your ex is. I feel so badly for Tyler.

Wow I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this. I would contact the school board and see if you can research options in your area. I have been divorced from my ex since my daughter was 5 and NEVER had to deal with this. Thankfully she is now 18 and despite arrears in child support there is no connection. I was divorced in California so looking into the local laws will really help

Did you also receive a copy of the report card? are they sending him duplicates or the ONLY copy?

Very confused about who is the father or whom.....

Didn't they say they just need a letter from him stating that he would not like to receive further information? Can't the man write a letter?

The school is doing what they have to do here. They can't just NOT involve one parent because of various reasons (even good ones) unless there is a court order saying information cannot go to that parent or the parent asks to stop receiving information. He sounds like a d***, but he's still the parent legally and still receives information. Your principal/school doesn't have a choice.

I'm glad you edited, because that was a little hard to follow.
No offense.

The school is thinking of things in terms of liability. As well they should.
YOU say that other listed parents want nothing to do with the kids, but the school can't just take your word for it. If they did, then they could be liable for failure to notify anyone besides yourself.
If you can't get a court order, type something up yourself saying something like,
"I, _____________, parent (or step-parent) of _________________, wish to be removed from any mailing, notification or emergency contact lists on file with the school effective this date. ________________"

Print two of them, so you have two originals that are signed, have an envelope addressed to the school ready, and mail one original to the school.
Keep the other original and make some copies for safe keeping.

If the other dad(s) won't do it, then without a court order or documentation of some kind, there will be griping about receiving things in the mail they don't want.
The school can't do anything about that.

Best wishes.

The school is doing what they are legally obligated to do. Since you don't have any legal documents stating otherwise, X is still his parent.

If X no longer wishes to receive these documents then HE needs to notify the school. You may want to type up a letter for him and ask him to sign it, but from your posts that doesn't seem like it will work either.

I would just ask what paperwork they need to officially change things and go from there. Wishes aren't enough in this situation. They have to be legally correct or they get into trouble.

Forward the e-mail from the principal - put at the top that you only need what the principal asks for "a written copy from X stating he does not want to receive them", and that 30 seconds of his time to sign will be less annoying then continuing to get the information he doesn't want. What a supreme Jerkoff he is - sigh.

Do you both have joint custody? If so, then the school is legally required to send copies of all school notices to BOTH parents. Good luck.