Putting Fingers in Mouth

Updated on March 11, 2008
M.C. asks from Santa Cruz, CA
6 answers

Hi, My son is turning three in April. About two months ago he started putting his thumb and pointer finger in his mouth. He started doing it when he was feeling shy, but lately it is becoming more of a habit. I was wondering if anyone has experience with this and could offer any advice on how to get him to break the habit.

There have been no real changes in his life and he is a happy boy. I asked him if his gums were hurting and he replied "no."

I would like him to stop doing this because he can get germs from this behavior and also spread germs. Also, he is starting to get a chapped chin and lips.

Or maybe this is a totally normal behavior and I should do nothing and he will just stop on his own? Any feedback is welcomed.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi M.,
The less you focus on the unwanted behavior, the more likely it is your son will stop. Kids love attention so much that they'll even go for negative attention. That being said, at about four, my son developed this awful habit of putting his entire bottom lip in his mouth and ligtly chewing the skin below it with his upper teeth. He gave himself this nasty smile-shaped red line on his chin that started to get rashy. My husband and I showed him the line and rash in the mirror and explained to him how he was making it happen. Then I slathered Neosporin all over his chin to help it heal (which it did). He was not happy with the Neosporin at all! When I realized that, all I had to do was say, "I'll get you some Neosporin so that you don't get a rash," and we would plead with me not to and his lip would come right out of his mouth and stay out. I always said this as though I just wanted to be helpful, not like I was getting the stuff as a punishment, but I was adamant about applying it. He still bites or sucks on his lower lip a little when he is feeling nervous or unsure, but not enough to cause any rashes or chapping. I'm taking what I can get! We'll deal with the Neosporin phobia down the line I suppose :)
K.

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H.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

This is a normal phase. Try getting him interested in something--playing or reading to him. If his mind and hands are occupied with something positive, he'll forget about sucking his fingers. Doing anything negative about it will just make it happen more often so he can get attention, even if it's negative attention. I'm a mom of a terrific 39 yr. old daughter and a wonderful 34 yr. old son with Autism. Believe me, it's ALWAYS better to substitute something positive for a negative behavior, although it is very difficult to do! My son made a lot of progress when he was rewarded for any positive effort he made and still does. He loves getting praised, so he does a lot of wonderful things that bring that praise from many people. The negative behaviors tend to fade away as they become more excited to get praise. Find even small things they've done to praise, but be sure it is genuine. They will know if one is faking it. Best wishes for much success.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds normal. Don't fuss over it. Lots of kids still suck their thumbs at that age. Just have him wash his hands a lot.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My son will be 3 in April too (on the 21st), and he does the same thing! Just like your son, he usually does it when he's being shy. He also bites his nail, so he ends up with his fingers in his mouth a lot. I don't think there's much we can do about it, other than making sure that they clean their hands a lot.

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L.R.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter is a nail biter and has been for a while. She will chew her nails until they almost bleed. I have started putting cuticle oil on her nails and she has almost stopped. She gets the bad habit from me so we made a pact, I will remind her if she starts chewing and she will remind me if I start! Also, because she's a girl, I tell her that she won't have her nails painted until she stops biting. They also sell a nasty tasting product to use but I haven't resorted to this yet. Some kids have more of an oral fixation than others. Good luck!
L.

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A.K.

answers from Fresno on

M.,
When you notice him putting his fingers in his mouth, try to distract him by asking him to hold something or do something like coloring, play doh, unloading silverware etc. The more you can distract him, the less he will put his fingers in his mouth and he will get out of the habit.
You could also try putting lotion or something on his hands that doesn't taste good (non toxic of course).
Hugs,
A.

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