Pregnancy Complications

Updated on June 08, 2010
C.G. asks from Austin, TX
27 answers

Hi moms, I wrote in not too long ago about being pregnant in my 40's and very excited about our upcoming bundle of joy; I hope this is not tacky that I'm posting about this but you all have been such a great inspiration to me that I felt okay about this: I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, and now we are trying AGAIN !
I lost my little girl ( I knew it was a girl in my heart ) and I've cried all I can cry and my soul has been drained is the only way I can describe it. But something in me has pulled me back up and has urged me forward to try again. My husband is a wonderful man , waiting for me to heal while healing himself as well. NOW WE ARE TRYING AGAIN .
We are not ready to give it up. My question is - getting pregnant again , (faith is closing your eyes and opening your heart,) how likely is it for someone my age to have a successful birth after a miscarriage? I know thats probably something only my doctor can say, but I'm sure there are other women out there who have been in this same boat and can give me lots of advice.
thanks in advance to all of you.......
C.

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S.R.

answers from San Antonio on

My mother had a miscarriage and then IMMEDIATELY got pregnant with my little brother...she was pregnant for 12 months straight almost. She was 40 when she had my brother. She had a perfectly healthy pregnancy and delivery. It's entirely possible! Good for you for not letting it break you. I say if you want another child, go for it!

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

Camille,
Be of good cheer!!!

I got pregnant and had a quick miscarriage after only 6 weeks. The doctor was amazed that I even knew it happened. I got pregnant 2 months later with my beautiful, youngest daughter, Elise. I was 39!

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D.T.

answers from Austin on

Hi Camille,
My name is D. and I want you to know that it is very possible for you to get pregnant at your age and after your miscarriage. I had a miscarriage before each of my children. I had my daughter at 37 and my son at 40. Both are healthy, happy children and both pregnancies were high risk but were uneventful.

A miscarriage certainly throws you for a loop, but take the time you need to heal and if you so desire, try again. Since you've had a prior pregnancy, even though you are older, your chances are still pretty good to get pregnant again-especially since you were just pregnant. A little tip-ask your doctor about supplemental progesterone through the first trimester. Some of us who are older are already having hormone fluctuations and may need additional hormonal support to sustain a pregnancy. Good luck and keep us posted.

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G.K.

answers from Austin on

The doctors can't always tell for sure. I was in my early 30's when they told me that I would not be able to have any more children so we quit all birth control. I now have a 19 year old girl and 16 year old boy. When I was 37, I had a miscarriage. 18 months later my youngest son was born. I did have to go on bed rest for several weeks before he was born because of bouts of premature labor but he was born smart and healthy.

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L.

answers from Dallas on

Camille- Oh girl! I know exactly how you feel. The exact same thing happened to me last year right after Christmas. I was almost 12 weeks. I was soooo devastated. I had just turned 42. I have two little girls and I so wanted a 3rd child. It's heartbreaking. I just wasn't ready for kids until I was in my 30's. I wanted the right man and the right circumstances for having a family. Keep the faith! You have a great attitude. Don't get too obsessed with the internet. It can scare you to death. There's a lot of doom and gloom for women over 40. I changed OB's right after my loss. Mine old one was very harsh. I love my OB now. He is very supportive! I will pray for you!!!!

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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

hello friend,

i had a miscarriage in feb of this year and i will soon be forty, the doctors told me not to try again to have another one for a while but me and my husband tried again, and we gto preggie right after the miscarriage about the same time you are talking you are more fertial that you were before you got preggie so i wish you the best good luck, the doctors considered me a high risk cause of my age but i tell you i just had my baby boy and he is oerfect in everyway. my preggie was perfect nothing was wrong the doctors just took extra care so i didnt lose this one, i had great doctors everything about this preggie was perfect i am thinking of having another in the near futrue for my husband we are going to try for a little girl but if we get another boy so be it the one i have is the perfect little package he doesnt cry to much is good natured i think it had to do with me not being to stressed out and all and just taking care of my body and just taking that extra care not to lose him but it was worth it and i hope you will be able to experiance then same joy that i have keep your faith strong if it is meant to be it will happen.

God bless

T.

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B.E.

answers from Dallas on

Camille,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your tiny baby girl. My heart goes to you and your family.
It is very likely that you will have no problem conceiving after a miscarriage. Sometimes it takes a little longer to conceive after 35 to 40 something...but certainly your body has proven that you are beautifully fertile. I love your comment on faith. You may want to talk to your doctor about using progesterone to help you. I also have heard that red clover is helpful in these situations...but do some further research into that. My cousin had three miscarriages and now is the happy mother of healthy one year old twins! Close your eyes and open your heart!
Marianne

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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

First off I am sorry for your loss. Is it possible for a healthy pregnancy after your loss. YES!!! My sister in law went through the same thing. That the age of 43 she had her 3rd child. I will be praying for you!

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Camille,
You certainly have my empathy. When I got pregnant for the first time I miscarried at 10 weeks (but found out she was a twin and I was still pregnant!) For that moment of time that I thought she was a singleton it was so excruciating having lost a much wanted child. I'm still sorry I lost her, but enjoy her twin. :)

They told me after she was born that I couldn't have any more children, that she was a miracle child. But with the help of Crinone (a natural progesterone treatment) I have had four lovely little girls. You might talk to your OB about this. It's very common as we age to have hormone issues. Even if your hormones check out fine (mine did) you can benefit from it. Crinone is given to women early in the pregnancy to prevent miscarriage and later to prevent preterm labor. And it's not given by injection, but is a suppository.

I wish you all the best and another healthy little one to hold in your arms,
S. mom to four girls 1-23-03, 2-22-04, 5-4-05, 3-30-07

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K.W.

answers from Dallas on

I want to first say I know personally how you are feeling and am terribly sorry for your loss.You have had lots of wonderful advice here from some very compassionate ladies. It is normal to go over the "what did I do wrong" and "maybe its something wrong with me" That is how we process grief, through a combination of bargaining, anger and guilt before we finally come to terms with it all. It is okay, however you are feeling, just let it flow thru.
Some things you need to know, yes it is more difficult after 40 as you have heard. My DIL lost 2 then had my adorable grandson. All after 40 w/o FT. WOW ! they are doing great.
It is more normal than most people know to have early miscarriages. About 1 in 4 and many women just aren't totally aware of it, or simply don't discuss it.
My point is keep doing what you feel is best to work thru the grief and then if you want to keep trying hooray for you, and if you decide not then hooray for you also for coming to terms with yourself and your life. You can't make a wrong decision so go with your heart. I recently counseled with a couple that have a genetic problem that resulted in 3 losses, one as late as 32 weeks, who have delivered a healthy son. They just believed that was right for them.
sincerely,
K. @ The Nestingplace

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

C,
I got pregnant with my first child when I was 40. I too had a miscarriage the first go round. After giving my body a chance to get back to normal, we tried again and I delivered a healthy whopping 8lbs 7oz baby girl at the age of 41. Keep the faith!

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

I, too, am sorry for your loss. I had two miscarriages, one at 17 weeks and one at 6 weeks before I had either of my children - the first at 42 and the second at almost 44....there are many miscarriages in the first trimester, especially 6-8 weeks ...... your age is probably not a factor.......my then hubby did not even want to try again but I HAD to as I am sure you understand......take care of your self......

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Camille...Im not sure the success rate of births after miscarriages, but I have two friends who have had miscarriages and both are both currently pregnant, so far so good. Their OBs are watching closely, but they haven't had any issues. They are ages 35 & 30. Im sorry for the loss you suffered, but will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope that God will once again bless you with another child.

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L.S.

answers from Odessa on

First of all, please accept my condolences for your loss. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now, but it's good that you are not giving up. I once had a school teacher that was in her 40's, and to her surprise, she became pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. You will probably be considered high risk, but I had a high risk pregnancy at age 18, another one when I was 23, and now I'm 31 and having a VERY healthy pregnancy. Therefore, it can go either way at any age. Hopefully you have a good doctor that you can talk to openly, and discuss any fears that you may have.

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A.H.

answers from Dallas on

I have 4 kids and it took two miscarriages mixed in there to get them. I have to have blood work done very early to make sure my body is making enough hormones (pregesterone I think). Have you thought of seeing a perinatologist?

If you have insurance and your obgyn will clasify you as high risk, you shouldn't have a problem getting a consult with one. It doesn't mean you have to see them for the duration of your pregnancy or anything, but it is nice to have one picked out just in case. I had an experience where I had to see one and it was pertinent so I took who the ob sent me too and he was incredibly rude. From now on, because of my age, if I were to have another child I will consult one in the beginning just to make sure it is someone I would want to see.

My first miscarriage was very hard. My second hurt, but I was older and it seemed easier for me to give in to the idea of nature doing what was right for the baby. (I would say God, but I don't want to step on any religous toes) My second we were trying very hard to conceive my 2nd son. I miscarried on labor day and my cycles were not back to normal for 6 months...the first month I had a normal for me cycle I conceived (and we weren't trying because we didn't want a December baby!! Go figure- He turned 7 today btw!:) )

There is no reason you can't conceive after a miscarriage, just don't give up. When you do conceive, demand to see your OB early on...with my first I saw my OB at 5 weeks preg., then with the child I miscarried I saw him at 5 weeks and then miscarried at 7...so with my 2nd son I was in at 5 weeks and having blood work...with #3 and #4 and a new doc (we moved) I had to throw a fit to be seen before 10 weeks.

I would check out a perinatologist and I would also look into different fertility treatments as well, just to occupy your mind while you try and be educated on the different options available in case you need them.

At least it is fun to keep trying :-)

Good luck!

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C.O.

answers from Atlanta on

Keeping the faith!!!
Cee

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N.T.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Camille!
I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I know how hard it is myself. It is wonderful that you have pulled back up and are trying again. I had an eptopic pregnacy and then a miscarriage at about 8 weeks as well. We kept on trying and now I have a beautiful one year old daughter. I had no pregnancy complications nor delivery problems. She is very healthy. I think miscarriage is just our bodies way of telling us that something just wasn't quite right. I am only 33 but age doesn't always matter with these types of things.
Keep trying - kids are such a blessing and worth everything. Forty is the new thirty! :)
Good Luck.

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N.O.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Caille,
I wouldn't say necessarily the miscarriage was caused from your age. There's a number of factors that can cause a miscarrige.
I had my first healthy child at 18, miscarried at 20, had another healthy baby at 22, miscarried again at 23 and now at 24 I'm 6 mnths pregnant with healthy baby # 3.
(All of my miscarriages were aso around 7-8 weeks).

So I was fairly young to miscarry and have still gone on to have healthy babies.
I wish you the best of luck but definitely try again if that's what you and your Husband both want.
Take Care
~N.~

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S.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I'm 38 and have one child. I, too, had a misscarriage earlier this year and now at 18 weeks with a healthy baby boy growing. After the miscarriage, my doctor ran some blood tests to check things - he said miscarriages can be b/c teh baby isn't growing right and it's natures way of handling or the mom may not have enough of the right hormones, etc or some other source (i.e fall, etc). So, he rant some bloods test to check my levels b/f trying again. He said not too worry, if they knew it was my hormones (or whatever) there were pills I could take to boost my levels before and during pregnancy. If ya'll want another, try again, just talk to your doc about the best course of action for you. Good luck.

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B.L.

answers from Houston on

Camille, you know what you want and I see that you have a great deal of faith- it is time to put that into action. Our God is great and can do anything (BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK)- it doesn't matter what people (here or even doctors say) as long as YOU have prayed about it and have faith in our GOD. Nothing else matters.

~B.

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P.C.

answers from Dallas on

I had two miscarriages. One at 11 weeks when I was 41. Another at 5 weeks when I was 42. My daughter was born less than two months after my 43 birthday. I had three pregnancies within 9 months. Obviously getting pregnant was not the problem, staying pregnant was. When I was pregnant the third time, my dr. put me on Prometrium at six weeks for the first trimester ($30.00 for 30 days, twice a day). It kept my hormone level up. We did consult a fertility specialist, Dr. Doody, after the first miscarriage. She gave us a 5% chance of a successful pregnancy with IVF. We opted not to try IFV for a 5% chance. While I truly appreciated her honesty, I still had two more pregnancies, with no medical intervention getting pregnant, one of which is our daughter. I had not pregnancy complications, but I did have a section, which was okay with me so long as she got here. I think statistics may be against you, but your body may surprise you. I'm proof that statistics don't necessarily determine the outcome. Try to relax and enjoy your family. You never know what God has in store for you.

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J.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi Camille,
First let me say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I am 40 and have doing infertilty treatments for about 4 years. Some of that time includes the "old fashioned way". But sadly most of that time has been with a fertility doctor. We did an ivf in may and putting 2 alive growing embryos, and having it fail felt maybe close to a miscarriage. Very hard to get over. It's nice to hear you are healing and ready to try again. We still try but have taken a short break from the medical stuff. It's very consuming and very expensive.
If you want to read ALOT of information you can go to babycenter.com and login (it's free) and look for the communtiy board that fits you, i.e. trying over 40... I have found so much comfort and info from the ladies who go there.
The sad truth about fertility is that at 40+ our eggs are just old. But my dr has assured me that there are still a few good ones(on average)it's just about catching the right one at the right time. There are some simple blood tests you can do to check your ovarian suppy/quaility. It's the fsh(follicle stimulating hormone) and it's ususally done on cycle day 3.
I guess my biggest piece of advice is don't waste any time! I see Dr. Douglas in Plano and he is really good. Very serious but good. I've heard Dr. Barnett is good too. He performed one of my iui's b/c it was a weekend and he was in rotation.
I hope this has helped a little. Feel free to email me!! [email protected]____.com
Have a happy holiday!! Jen

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K.V.

answers from Houston on

Hi Camille-I'm sorry for your loss. This is always a difficult time in a woman's life. One comment about your note, no, your doctor cannot predict whether or not you will have a succussful pregnancy. No one can. However, your changes of having a baby are good, as long as you continue having regular periods. Also, the older you are, the higher the chance of having another miscarriage. A tough spot for a woman over 40. Many women in your position do, in fact, have healthy babies.

Also, the chances of Down Syndrome increases with age. And, be sure to continue with prenatal vitamins with adequate folic acid prior to another pregnancy.

Good luck with whatever choice you make,
Kathy

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D.W.

answers from Dallas on

I'm so sorry for your lose (my heart just sank as I was reading it). I misscarried my first pregnancy, but was able to get pregnant three months later. I was in my late 30's. However, I do believe that God puts the desire of children in our hearts to start with. So you should pray without ceasing. As long as your Dr's say you are healthly, you should try again once your body has healed. On a side note, a close family memeber was 45 when she discovered her was pregnant again! 9 years after her last son. I don't think 41 is that old. God bless. D.

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

My sister (now 50) had a miscarriage when she was around your same age (after having given birth to 6 children!). She subsequently had 4 more healthy pregnancies, giving birth to the last child (we hope) at age 48. So, it certainly is possible, especially since you have had a previously successful pregnancy. Statistically, miscarriages are more frequent as you age.

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi Camille
I am sorry to hear of your loss.I am 45yrs old with a two
year old little boy.I to had (2) miscarridges in a
row.The third pregnancy went to term with no problems.
He was delivered by C-section,because I had twins
20
years earlier that were also delivered by C-section
Have faith!!If it is Gods will you will become pregnant
again.My son has been a true blessing for me.
take care of yourself and Merry Christmas
M.

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J.M.

answers from Dallas on

Camille,
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss. I lost a pregnancy in May (I, too am convinced it was a girl.) My husband and I are trying again and I'm hoping and praying for a healthy pregnancy and the birth of a healthy baby in 2008! I'm 26, so I'm not sure about all of the statistics on miscarriage in your 40's, but one of my co-workers miscarried her first pregnancy at 37, got pregnant with a healthy baby girl a month later, miscarried again 2 years later, and had another healthy baby girl in May of this year at the age of 41. After I had my miscarriage, she told me to just keep trying because, if she had given up, she would've missed out on her second daughter. Faith will carry you through, even on the really rough days....
Good luck!
J.

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