My almost three year old is finally potty trained. However, we have a problem with him and his BM. For a while, we were buying goodnites for him at night and everytime we put one on is when he would have a BM. I would like not to buy them but when we kept him in underwear all day and night, he will not have one. When my husband put one on our son, he had a BM. He will not have a Bm unless it is on. Help!!
After a wek of struggling, we are still at it. We have the goodnights but one night hubby had to go out of town so I refused to put on a goodnight on him. He pouted and cried, told me I was mean. But he did it in his underwear. On occasion, he will use the toilet for BM and I've given him "money " (chocolate coins). He's thrilled so I'm hoping this will work.
my sister offer my nephew money.every time he went BM in the toilet they offer him a penny.so he could get himself something he wanted. like a car or whateve....that was money he saved.
maybe you could try not putting the goodnites on him and when you notice it should be time for him to go put him on the potty, then try to give him something to do while sitting there, like putting beads on a string, something to get him to concentrate and relax...
we put my daughter on the potty and she would sit there for a while, then her expression would change ( like something was a-brewin') then we would both "grunt" a little then " plop ".
at first she would just make the noise, but she got it....
(i sound like a crazy person)....
I also have a 2 year old(well 30 month old) we have been potty trained for around one month, and she also would only go pee in her little potty so one day I tried putting her on the actual "big people potty" all day long and she had a BM that day and we have never had any trouble since..Hope this helps.
I was reading a potty training book because my lil boy is 2 and it said if u notice that he has a bowel movement like the same time every day try putting him on the potty and see if he'll go and just keep doing it every day. Another good idea I've heard is when he has a bowel movement that is solid take him to the potty with u and dump it in the toilet so he gets the idea where the poop goes.
I have had the same problem with my 3 year old girl. We thought she was potty trained...and then she wouldnt have a BM in the potty. She would hold it in for like 4 days and cry and cry and wake up at night crying. She will be 4 in a couple of weeks and we have gone through alot. She could finally hold it in at night and she wore panties all the time. But then she would ask for a diaper(we have a younger one in diapers too), and have a BM, and that was that. Back to panties and on with the day. Finally, my friend said she had the problem of that with her son and we made her wipe herself (with little help) and that grossed her out, but she did it and got to where she didnt want any help. I took her to the Dr. and they looked at me like I was horrible and lazy. Finally she started preschool with this problem and saw that everyone was doing it, came home one day and did it. I already had my 2 year old potty trained by them...I dont know if that will help, I do think that persistence and positive reinforment is the key. Don't make fun or make him feel like a baby. That slows it and makes them feel so bad. Every kid has a different growth timeline and I think that potty training fits in it too. :)
I just want to caution you from letting this become a power struggle---you cannot make him have a BM. This is a way for children to assert themselves. You said he is not quite 3---that's still on the young side. I wouldn't stress over it yet. So many times these issues resolve themselves when the child is ready. If he were 4, it would be totally different but he is not even 3 yet--give him a chance to grow up a little. Having a BM can be scary for kids, especially on the potty.
I would say put the goodnite on, then set him directly on his potty. Leave him there until he goes. (with a book, or some fun toy) then after a week or so of that, skip the diaper and just put him directly on the potty like you have been.
I have no idea if this will work, but maybe it's worth a shot.
My daughter had very similar issues. She would hold it for days. As soon as we would put the pull up on her she would have a BM. At her 3 year appt her doctor told us that we needed to put the pull up on her at least one time a day so she could go or she could become very seriously constipated. We had her in underwear for 2 weeks at the point and had only put her in a pull up a couple of times. After the doctor's advice we decided to put her in the pull up because we didn't want her to become ill. However, she did not like being put in the pull up so she just decided to start going in the potty. I think having a BM in the potty is a big issue for some kids. Others have no issue with it. I would keep putting the goodnights on him but encourage him to go in the potty. Good luck!
A friend of mine had the same problem. Her daughter wouldn't go bm unless she was wearing a diaper. Eventually she did start using the potty it just took a little longer. They just kept offering her the potty to go bm. I'm not sure this is totally helpful, but at least you know he well eventually go in the potty. :)
It sounds like he is holding it until he has the pull up on. This is dangerous, b/c it can cause constipation, which causes more problems! I know all about that. My son turned four in June, and we have been down the constipation road for two years now and it is no fun. It really messes up potty training!
Question for you: When your son goes #1, does he stand or sit? Our son has always stood. He was scared for a long time to actually sit on the potty for fear he would fall in and get flushed away! We tried everything, the separate potty chair, a special potty seat that fits over the regular potty, a bench, everything...finally in time he just learned it was alright.
Hang in there, and I hope your situation improves soon.
I don't know how much THIs will help. My son went through the same thing, but he is on meds to help him go (not because he has a problem going, but because he has a huge control issue and wants to hold it in as long as he can). He was the same way up until recently and he turned 3 in May. I finally got SO sick and tired of cleaning out his underwear and TIRED of buying diapers for a 3 year old, that I just made him sit until something came out. I know it sounds mean, but he sat for probably an hour. Even though only the tiniest stuff came out, I gave him an M&M and he loved it SO much he kept going because he wanted more candy. I think eventually he will get it. Just keep on trying to catch him when you think he is trying to go in the diaper. When you KNOW he has to go, then it wont make you feel so bad making him sit on the potty.
My son held his in SO long, he was backed up and couldn't go. The only thing that came out was watery. I thought it was a diarhea issue, and the docs didn't know why he had diarhea for so long. It was a month before he saw a specialist and found out he was backed up. After being plugged up so long, he had to have four enemas. If worst comes to worst, let him go in the diaper. It's better that he goes rather than not.
The whole time I used pull-ups my daughter went back and forth from being trained to having accidents...I had to stop using them alltogether...but the bm problem is a little different, and I think he may be confused about that part. Girls always have to sit to go, so naturally they get comfortable sitting on the pot. Kids are scared to death they can be flushed down the toilet so you have to show them that can't happen. My daughter still won't sit in the tub if the water is draining, shes scared she will be sucked down the hole!
You can prevent constipation with a steady flow of juice...
I know it's gross but always try to dump the BM in the toilet and say this is where it goes. Teach him to flush. I made a big production of waving bye...and they loved that. You could also try a big reward if he is successful on the toilet, instead of the pull-up. I would go in the bathroom every evening and put him on the pot and try to wait him out, reward in view, saying if you go you get this. It probably won't work the very first time but if you don't give in, he will get the idea after a few days. If he manages to get out the tinyest pebble reward him for it. Make a huge production of it. If you are excited about getting it done he will be excited too!
They also have stickers you can put on the bowl and little paper targets that float until they sink them.
Good luck, I know how frustrating this is...
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