3 & 1/2 And Will Not Have a BM in the Potty.

When my boys were little, they had a hard time having a BM in the potty,also.I talked with their pediatrician and he said to go to the library and get book about potty training, to read them to him and reread them.He also said that little boys some times have a hard time with potty training Bm's because they feel scared after the Bm to see it being flushed down the tiolet because they think that it is part of them. I know that this sounds kinda weird, it did to me at first. They also have a book out that helped us called potty party.

My suggestion after potty training 2 girls (one in the last 6 months). It can be such a frustrating time when you know they are ready and they show that but then mentally they stop! I have had that with both children and it is hard. One thing I did learn, don't give punishments for not going on the toilet! My oldest daughter also struggled with the BM on the toilet. When I finally said, "fine, you will be in a diaper than"...after about 3 weeks of going back to diapers...she was miraculously cured. It was so frustrating, so I understand where you are coming from!

Give him motivation to go to the toilet..and don't sit in the bathroom for hours with him...it won't help you or him. If he goes on his own...praise him lots! Maybe even offer daily "treats" of an m&m or dum, dum suckers. We did the suckers each time after they went potty. Slowly we were able to phase them out.

Children have a hard time seeing far in the future, however, seeing right now I get this sucker if I go on the toilet...now that becomes incentive! Each time he goes to the bathroom give him 1 M&M...if he has a BM in there, give him a sucker and an M&M. That way you are encouraging both BM and #1 in the toilet. A couple M&M's a day won't hurt him for a few weeks. I was able to get both children off the rewards within about 4 weeks.

Hey T., first of all I have 4 boys and 1 girl and let me just telll ya that boys are hard to potty train. My advise is to put a training seat on the toilet. Potty chairs aren't real potties, sometimes children like to go like everyone else. None of my kids used the little potty chairs and were all trained by 2 1/2. Also, no matter how messy it gets for a couple of days, don't let him wear pull-ups (except to sleep in). He knows that as soon as you give in and put a pull-up on him he's going to BM because he's been holding it so long. Also if your not oppossed give him 2 MM's for a BM rather than a sticker etc... Candy is not always the healthiest option but kids like it. Hope this helps. Hang in there!

I don't really have help - my son is 5...at 3 he started potty training going poo first! We were exicited about that, thinking it was going to be easy - w/in 2 weeks he backfired and spent 4-5 months refusing to use the toilet - also spent alot of time constipated, had to use a sapository :(....all that to say, eventually he did...but our push and extended families pushing and prodding him to go - caused the backfire and major constipation issues.

Please don't worry!!! We went through the same thing. My son didn't potty train successfully until he was almost 4 (I told people he was 3 1/2 because I was so embarrassed). We found his favorite thing (Thomas the Train) at the time, lined up 10 or so of them on the back of the toilet, and told him that every time he went #2, he could have a new car/train. I stopped getting upset when he had an accident - it only puts more pressure on them. In the end, I found that he'd do it when he was ready. DON'T LET OTHERS PRESSURE YOU! Don't be embarrassed like I was. If you don't stand up for your son, who will? Even your parents have no business pressuring him. Show them this message if you don't feel comfortable telling them yourself (I never did). My son didn't do it until he was good and ready. The minute he was ready, it happened overnight!! Hang in there - I know its frustrating. Email at ____@____.com if you would like any more advice. L.

I think what you are doing is just fine, its not good to push too hard, or it will backfire for you. Continue to encourage him to try, reward a sweet for trying, like an M&M and maybe something bigger for when he actually goes. At least for a first few time, then start with the stickers for every 4 times or more. Patients on your part is very important, even if its frustrating. My daughter, who is also 3 1/2 is having a hard time with the pooping part, mostly because she is constipated, and its painful for her to go. When she does, we let her play with her special barbie she picked out just for the occasion, plus she gets a sweet treat. She has recently been put on medicine to hopefully help. Good Luck!

My response is a combination of everyone's. I would definitely buy the little seat that goes over your own toilet seat. It was a lifesaver for me. My daughter would sit on ANY toilet, not just a potty chair when she had to go. I've heard from other mothers that their children wouldn't go potty in public places because there wasn't a potty chair.

Second, if it is a slight constipation problem, which my daughter had and still does, you could give your son some Miralax. It is over-the-counter now and VERY safe to give anyone. This would almost "force" your son to have a BM, and making it a lot easier for him. However, DO NOT give him the recommended dose on the bottle or you'll be dealing with a mess. I give my daughter a small amount about every three days in juice, oatmeal, whatever ... it is tasteless so they don't even know it is in there. Little kids need to keep regular too. :)

Good luck!

I have potty trained several children in 10 years in the daycare industries and having raised three boys myself. The thing with potting is that is one of the few things in a child's life they have control over. Someone else is basically in control of everything else. My sugguestion is back off he has had to deal with some changes in his life, even changes for the better effect children. It will come, one thing that we have done at daycare is make sure things are consistant by all caregivers. And make it fun, my own son needed "poop Glasses" (tommy's doughnut glasses) but any dollar store pair of sunglasses would work. He got to wear them when he was pooping, another thing is give him a book to read on the potty sometimes that relaxes children to do the deed. Make it a relaxing easy time, and when he's ready it'll happen. Don't worry about him yet, if he were 5 and still acting this way, then maybe you should have him checked out medically, but right now, it's a power issue and you don't want to start the power struggle now, there will be plenty more battles to put your foot down. Good luck.

I only have girls, but we had some (major) frustration with ppotty training. We never used a potty chair, but a small seat on the normal toilet (our daughter likes to use "big kid" stuff so it worked better for her). Her biggest obstacle was her stubbornness! As soon as she found out that we wanted her to go in the toilet,a nd that she had control over whether she did or not, she decided that she wanted to be in charge. We had to completely give up for several weeks. We always kept things available for her if she chose to go, but didnt' make it an issue. Finally she decided she was ready, and was more or less accident free within only a couple of days. She was nearly 4. With our second daughter we have been very careful to not push things becuase she is, if possible, even more stubborn. THings are moving along, but slowly. Some kids won't do things for a reward, they feel like they're being 'bought'. Just takes time to figure out what works for them. Maybe you can find a way that you son, who likes to be clean, can use staying clean as his motivation, rather than toys or candy. Using a small seat on a large toilet might actually help with that. My experience is that poop in a potty seat stinks to high heavens, where it doesn't the same in a big toilet. Good Luck!

I am soo haveing the same problem. My son is 3 years and 9 months and he was doing so good. I thought alright he is going to be out of pullups any week now. Then BAM backfire. He stopped just like that. It has been atleast six months now and he has only peeed in the toliet a few times. BM forget it. I will ask him why he didn't go potty and he says no. My nefew who is about the same age doing the same thing. I joke and say the three year olds went on strike. I know that someday he will just start going on his own, again. I was worried till I found out I am not alone. Noone is. I hope that he will go soon. I am tired of buying the pullups lol. They are not cheap. lol.

Hi T. ~ Sometimes boys are harder to train then girls. I have 2 boys. 17 yrs and 6 yrs. My 17 yr old was hard to train. When we asked why he doesn't want to go, he said he was a afraid to let it go in the toilet as it meant he was a big boy. He thought he wouldn't still have the closeness with us as he does as a toddler. So if he went in the diaper or pullup, he would still be considered the baby. Eventually after that talk, he did go all on his own in the toilet. My 6 yr old poop trainned himself. When we started with pullups, he stayed dry all night, and one night it was late and we heard someone in the bathroom. We go and check to see who is in there . He said I had to poop. So he practically trainned himself to go poop on the potty. That was when he was 2 1/2 almost 3 yr. But each child is different. My nephew just turned 5 yrs old and he is finally starting to not poop in his pullup/regular underwear. Some catch on right away. Some their bodies just tell them that they are not ready yet. So I would continue with the chart and encourage and praise when he does go. Be supportive.

Hugz~
A.

Just an idea!! Try taping something above the toilet!! With our son we did different types of Pez dispensers. The visual and immediate reward really help our son. Good Luck!!