Potty Advice - Matthews,NC

Hi V.! Your daughter sounds completely normal! They are all so different when it comes to potty training....I've got 7 and the last one is a 23 month old boy who is just starting to show interest in the potty to be like his 4 yr. old sister. Without a role model in the house, you might want to get a tape for guidance....we always used the "It's Potty Time" Super Dooper Potty Pooper tape by Duke University....it's really subtle but a fantastic tape and it might help her relax more about giving up her poop to the potty and get more excited about not having an accident. I think the most important thing is not to instill the "bad girl" feeling when the accidents happen.....if she is a very busy little girl, she honestly may get so involved in her activity that she forgets until it's too late. My 4 yr old was like that and it was aggravating as all get out because she DID have a lot of accidents and she was/is so smart, we "expected more from her," lol! I stay at home so spend a lot of time doing arts and crafts with them which they love.....when she would have the accidents, I would make a big deal out of the time it took to clean it up and do the laundry and explain to her that we wouldn't be able to do "X" activity because Mommy didn't have time since I had to use it cleaning from the accident....she caught on pretty quick and we got past that.....we did try making her stay in the wet panties a while, sending her to time out, giving her jelly beans when she did go in the potty, I could go on and on....we tried many different things with each child but always came back to the fact that patience and consistency without major negativity ended up working best in the end. They will all "get it" when they're finally ready and it's a pain to have someone tell you that, especially when you're at your wits end and ready to try anything....but I think it's truly a control issue with them and they are learning they are in charge of something and based on what they do, different things will happen, so you've just gotta go slow and figure out what works for her. My now 17 yr old son, Matthew, was a little over 3 1/2 and we had gone through everything with him and he still wouldn't go potty consistently....one afternoon he told me he wanted to be called Matt.....his Dad and I told him that Matt was a big boy name and that since he didn't go potty, we couldn't call him that......he started going potty the next day and NEVER had an accident afterward, lol! It gets frustrating but it's one of the first things that we as parents can't make happen on our own....hang in there....she'll get there! That potty pooper tape really is cute and I looked it up on ebay and googled it if you're interested.....

http://www.itspottytime.com/pottytrainingprogram-1.aspx
http://desc.shop.ebay.com/i.html?LH_TitleDesc=1&_kw=i...

http://www.itspottytime.com/pottytrainingprogram-1.aspx

Take care and good luck:) M.

Kids WILL have accidents, now, later and later. Its normal. Sure they get potty trained... but they still have accidents.
I wouldn't take away toys or scold or punish... they cannot control their bladder... nor hold it for long... and it has to do with the biological maturity of the bladder as well and the nerve connections etc.
It is not all a "mental" willpower thing. Thus, punishing will not work, nor will lecturing them.

Put it this way, even Kindergarten kids have accidents. And its NORMAL.

She has only been learning pottying for 1 month. That is not long at all.
AND... for long treks out, or being at the childcare, or just out at the mall.... she is not ready for that. You need to time it and transition them to underwear, while out.... when they are ready. Otherwise, it is just sabotaging them. Because they have not yet "mastered" the ability to HOLD their bladder that long...

Pull-ups are useless. You could also use the Gerber Training Pants, which are padded in the middle, or Potty Scottys.
Here is a link:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3...

I use the Gerber's. They are great.

Next, nap time and night-time Dryness.... is another different timing. Night-time dryness can take even until 7 years old. It is about the bladder maturing. NOT the child being good or bad or lazy. It is purely BIOLOGICAL bodily development. So, diapers at night, is perfectly fine. The child does NOT get confused. All I tell my kids is that diapers are for night time, until their body knows how. NOT them... I don't make it a personal criticism of "them." It is their body developing.

All the best,
Susan

Hello V.-

I've potty trained many kids during my 16 years working with children. The key is reminders and positive reinforcement.

I want to start by saying, if you punish for accidents, you will create more problems. Kids start holding things in, due to fear of punishment.

I like putting the responsibility on the child, (some), I give kids a wrist watch with an alarm. It's their job to stop and go potty when the watch goes off. When/if your child has an accident, without punishing, have her help clean it up, again taking responsibility.

Kids get distracted and forget they need to go to the bathroom OR that they are not wearing a diaper. Gentle reminders are the key.

R. Magby

I agree with the others below. Please do not punish her for accidents. Have her help clean up, have her change her clothes and put the wet ones where you want them to go, etc, but do not take toys away, etc.

It takes time. Their neurological systems have to develop and some develop slower than others.

Our pediatrician recommended trying for 3 days. If there were more accidents than misses, go back to diapers for a couple months then try again. It won't happen until the body is ready for it to happen. No amount of fussing, punishment, or bribes will work until the body is ready for it to happen.

Accidents happen. My almost 6 year old still has accidents on occasion, it is completely normal. In fact, it is so normal that the school keeps clothing in the classrooms for the children in case they didn't bring some from home.

Bowel movements are the hardest part to train. It takes longer so don't worry about that. It will happen when the time is right for her body and not a second sooner.

Keep up the reminders. Have the people she is with remind her. They probably don't think to remind her since they aren't the ones with her all the time. If needed, go with one of the watches mentioned below so that when she isn't with you, she has a reminder to go potty if the adults with her fail to remind her (or just simply take her and put her on the potty). If all else fails, use diapers or pullups for long trips out (or when not with you) and then as she gets better with it at home, then start transitioning her to not using diapers/pullups on trips out.

We struggled with accidents too and sometimes it means that your child is not ready and sometimes it means that you need to just make sure you take your child to the potty more often. Also, limiting the amount she drinks is also helpful. I am not saying dehydrate your child but if you give her a giant cup full of juice, you can't expect her to really not have a problem later. My daughter is almost 5 and we still make her go before going out in the car, before leaving for school. She says she doesn't have to go and we tell her she needs to try and sure enough she always has to go. Hang in there, it sounds like your daughter is pretty close with only 1-2 accidents a day. If they are happening at a particular time, that is when you need to add more trips to the potty for "trying" and also encouraging them with stickers or a treat does help with them wanting to try. Good luck!

Hi V. - I agree - no punishment just the natural consequences. Help her change her clothes or have her do it if she can and then move on. Rewards do work however - either little dollar store gifts or better yet, time with you and privileges.

Our doc suggested we get my son one of those "potty watches" that beep on their own every 90 minutes to remind them to go to the bathroom. It turns off automatically so no parent involvement is needed. He gets stickers for every time he goes potty - at first, if he goes potty on his own 5x, then he gets a dollar toy from the basket we keep in the bathroom. Then it goes to 10x, then 3 days, etc. with rewards getting bigger. ie: they get to pick a movie and I sit down with them and watch the whole thing with them. The reasoning with them is that if mommy doesnt have to work so hard keeping clothes and bathrooms and kids clean, we have more time to spend with them.