Please Help My Baby Girl Is 11 Months and Only Weighs 13 Pounds What Can I DO!!!

Updated on August 19, 2014
N.J. asks from Ruidoso, NM
25 answers

Please help!!! I have a baby girl she is 11 months about to be 1 on Sept. 6. and she is underweight. She weighs 13pounds. She has been 13 pounds for since 10 months. She has not be able to gain weight. She has been breastfeed only so now i think my supply is low, i pumped for 5 hrs the only day with an electric pump on each breast i only pump 2 oz. The doctor says i need to put her on formula asap so she can gain weight if not she will have to go to a specialist. I am in the process of switching to formula but no luck. As soon as she see the bottle/sippy cup she refuses and fights the whole time. No matter what is inside it could be breastmilk only she still will not take it. I have tried every formula under the moon similac, gerber, enfamil, cheap formula nothing she hates it all and the same with bottles 7 different bottles 5 different sippys even the straw one. I have even put strawberry or chocolate syrup in the formula to help the taste nothing. She is very happy, active, crawls everywhere, stands up alone, talks all the time, smiles very happy baby. I have her on a very good schedule. morning she has her milk a solid food, afternoon milk, solid nap, mid afternoon milk snack like yogurt, dinner solids and then milk for bed. She eats everything has normal wet and poopy diapers. I am so stressed out about it all i can think about is gain weight gain gain formula formula. I will try and skip a feeding and try formula instead she will refuse and starve herself until i feed her from my boob. I am so afraid she will not gain weight and I feel so helpless. I want my baby to be healthy and grow. But nothing is working I want her to just take the forumula and start gaining some weight but doesnt look like that will happen. Please help I need advice I feel like a bad mom i cant give her what she needs and it hurts. I see these chunky babies that are breastfeed and I am like how what am i doing wrong, why isnt my baby like that. WHY ME!!!

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J.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Feed her food...

By this age any child is capable of eating solid food. And I don't mean "baby food" either.

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

She's well old enough to have plenty of solids. Keep that up. When I was changing my kids over from breast to formula I had to have my husband give them the bottle, rather than me. They would just expect the bio with me and reject anything else.

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E.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Someone else needs to give her the bottle of formulas. You probably will need to leave the house completely.

Many woman have supply issues. It doesn't make you a bad mother. You've done well to last until 11 months. Switch to formula and don't feel guilty about it.

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

Check with your doctor, but at 11 months you can maybe start introducing whole (not 1%, 2%, or skim) milk. We started our kids on whole milk at about 11 months. At first they wouldn't take it, so I would mix a little of the whole milk with breast milk. Each day I would increase the amount of whole milk and decrease the amount of breast milk. Within a week or so they were drinking straight whole milk.

It takes awhile to get used to a new cup or bottle. I would say to pick one cup and stick with just it for several days. It might help if she sees you using the same cup. I tried that with one of our kids and it worked. It will also help if someone else gives her the bottle or sippy cup. Our daughter would never take a bottle from me, but she didn't hesitate to take it from Dad or daycare when I wasn't around.

Keep feeding her solids. You can give her higher calorie, healthy foods to help boost her weight. Things like avacado, Greek yogurt, cheese, hamburger, etc. That can help with increasing her weight.

Continue having your doctor monitor her weight and keep trying. She may just be a smaller baby. Not all babies are chunky. If she continues to grow and reach milestones she is going to be OK.

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M.O.

answers from Dallas on

Your breastmilk and supply might not be a problem. I would make sure you are offering plenty of high fat, high quality food, like eggs (especially egg yolks), avocado, whole-milk yogurt, and whole milk cheeses. She can have meat as well, lamb and pork are good choices and easy to cook and through a baby food mill. Stay away from chocolate syrup or other refined sugar-based foods. They do nothing for weight gain or nutrition for a baby.

I would offer her food pretty much all the time, without a set schedule. It's fine if she sits with the family and "eats" during breakfast, lunch and dinner, but she should be offered food at least twice as often. And always have a sippy cup with water or milk/formula available.

I would continue offering breastmilk whenever possible. Don't "skip a feeding" to try to get her to drink formula. Skipping feedings will lower your supply.

ETA: OMG Ignore the advice of the poster who suggested it was a good thing for your baby not to gain weight because "women everywhere want to be thin". Crazy crazy crazy advice. Yes, a baby should be gaining from month to month, and if your DD's weight has stayed the same and your pediatrician is concerned, you are right to stay on top of the issue and try to help her.

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C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Welcome to mamapedia!!

You are NOT a bad mom. You are a first time mom who is trying to do right by her baby...

She's 11 months old and your pediatrician hasn't done anything about her weight before now?

Was your daughter a preemie? What was her birth weight? What is her length?

I can tell you from experience no baby will allow themselves to starve. Even at 11 months, they know what they want and how to get it. She screamed long enough when you withheld the breast, you caved and she got her way. I am sorry if that sounds mean, but at 11 months, she knows how to manipulate you.

Someone else needs to start feeding her. You CANNOT be around during feeding time UNTIL she gets over this. That means your husband needs to step up and you need to take a walk. As has as it will be, you need to let someone else feed her until she gets over the "boob craze".

If she is 11 months old - she doesn't NEED to be exclusively breast fed. She can do solids. She MIGHT be able to do whole milk. Talk to your pediatrician and see if he/she says if whole milk is good at 11 months.

Please have your husband or someone else you trust feed your daughter....you need to walk OUT of the house...go for a walk, go for a drive, but you NEED to be gone....your daughter needs to know she can eat food or take a sippy cup or bottle from someone else..I'd try a sippy cup.

I know this will be hard. It's not easy to hear your baby scream and cry for something...be strong...be patient...don't cave. Your daughter needs solid foods and to learn to eat without you around for the time being...

Good luck!!

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Not all babies are chunky. My nephew never was and his sister has never reached Jabba The Baby stage, though she is both breastfed and formula fed. So...frankly, I would not push her to formula for weight gain. I would encourage her to eat solids, along with nursing. What does she eat? Oatmeal? Finger food? At 11 months, you may also consider introducing some whole milk, butter, cheese...I would even consider a 2nd opinion to see if this is strictly a weight issue or a developmental issue. Yes, babies should grow all the time, but sometimes they grow faster than others. My DD is in the 8th percentile for weight (now 6 yrs old) and her pediatrician isn't worried as long as she's on the chart and is gaining something. Has your child hit any other milestones, like walking or crawling? That might also factor. I'd look at the whole picture, not JUST her weight. And please remember, a pump is not a baby and not always indicative of what you can produce for your child. I never pumped as much as I'm sure DD got, not even at our height. Some women don't respond to a pump at ALL but nurse fine. You might go instead to a certified lactation consultant vs harming your supply and demand nursing relationship with formula. Actually, the more I think about it, the more I think you should see an LC.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

If you have her on yogurt and solid foods maybe she's weening.
If she's happy and crawling and filling diapers it doesn't sound like she's starving.
When did she start crawling (a month ago)?
Once they become mobile their weight gain slows quite a bit.
Her weight gain has slowed just for 1 month.
Maybe you should relax and see what the specialist has to say.
What was her birth weight?
The rule of thumb is babies double their birth weight by 5 months old and just about triple it by 1 yr old.
If your daughter was 5 lbs at birth then she's not that far off and she still has a month to go till her 1st birthday.
Please stop putting flavor syrups in her milk.
If it's flavored yogurt that you're giving her she's getting plenty of sugar with that already (plain yogurt is better).

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Hi N. (or Nicolee?),

You sound like a wonderful, dedicated mom. Not like someone who should be beating herself up at all.

What I really think you need, rather than 500 different brands of formula, is a medical second opinion. Seeing a specialist is not necessarily bad at all. A pediatric gastroenterologist correctly diagnosed my son's digestive issues within minutes when he was a baby, while our (perfectly nice, lovely) pediatrician was clueless.

I am saying this because, from the symptoms you describe, there are two likely possibilities:

1. Your daughter could just be at the very slim end of the curve, in terms of weight. This is a GOOD thing. EVERY woman, everywhere, wants to be one of the lucky few who can eat absolutely anything and never gain weight. If that's the case, there's no medical reason to override nature and stuff her with calories.

2. Alternatively, there could be some medical reason why she's not gaining weight. This isn't necessarily a disaster. Most of these conditions are very treatable. But if you artificially mask the problem by stuffing her with high-calorie formula, then you're potentially masking a problem that needs to be treated.

So, rather than trying to force her body onto a growth chart, ask for a referral to a specialist. You'll either find out that she's just fine, just as she is, or you'll get to the bottom of the problem and get it treated.

Both of these alternatives sound better than what you've got going on right now.

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

What does the Dr. say at her regular checkups during the year when she has been underweight?

I would never flavor any food or formula with chocolate, strawberry, etc because you don't her to love that and it be the only way she'll drink milk in the future.

Most babies start some sort of solid foods by now. What are you trying? What does your Dr. suggests.

It sounds like you have a power struggle going on and when you give in.... she gets the power. I agree with others, leave the house and allow someone else to feed her so she can adjust to the change. By now I would think she has at least had some cereals and not exclusively BF.

It does not make you a bad mom to start using food and milk. She is almost 1 and needs to start trying a variety of foods a little at a time. She does not need a bottle at 1 either. I did not BF by choice and by 1, I had our daughter using a sippy cup and off the bottle.

You have received some good ideas, try some or all of them to see what might work best for you. Most importantly, ask your Dr.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Perhaps she is responding to your anxiety and desparation? Or perrhaps she does have a medical condition. I suggest you stop trying so hard and make an appointment with the specialist because you are so anxious.

You are not a bad mother. Find a way to relax. Put this in perspective. She sounds healthy except possibly for her weight. How much did she weigh at birth? If she weighed 6-7 lbs.13 lbs. Is low. I saw a year old baby that weighed 13 lbs. That baby was weak and lethargic and had not met any milestones. Your baby is not the "failure to thrive" that ssometimes goes along with low weight.

As important as weight is your baby's length. How long was she at birth and how long is she now? The ratio should be similar. Perhaps your baby is just small. What did the doctor say about that?

Try only one change for several weeks. This age is one at which many babies stop using a bottle and use a sippy cup. I suggest you do not want her to use a bottle. So I'd stop trying to use the bottle. Twelve months is old enough to switch to regular milk. My granddaughter started drinking almond milk at a year.

I would continue with the routine you outlined adding a sippy cup to the routine. She needs your breast milk. You're just adding the sippy cup with one formula or milk. Consistently give the same thing a couple of times a day.

Most importantly do not make her using the cup a big deal. Just put it within her reach without comment and pay no attention to whether or not she uses it.

I'm very familiar with low weight in babies. Unless you haven't told us everything I'm sure your doctor has not intended for you to be so upset. I doubt he's said this is life threatening and you're acting like it is. You have described a healthy diet with sufficient food and a healthy active baby.
She does not sound like she'd have a "failure to thrive" diagnosis. If he gave that diagnosis then I urge you to go directly to a specialist.

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

You must be really stressed. I agree with the others who have said someone else needs to feed your daughter.

She might also be picking up on your stress levels and reacting to it. When others tell you to go for a walk when she is being fed, it's not to get rid of you but to decrease stress on both of you. It's okay for your daughter to be fed by someone else.

Your stress levels are zapping your milk supply. Please do not add stuff to formula. I would give her Pediasure instead of formula, she's almost a year old. Keep up with the yogurt. Try cheese and other solid foods, like rice and oatmeal.

Ask your pediatrician for a referral to a nutritionist. They might be able to help you on feeding her too.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I would consider asking the doctor if you can give her pediasure instead of formula, in addition to the breastmilk. I would absolutely not be putting flavoring in the formula.

I have a friend who's daughter is tiny, but she had to try all kinds of tricks as an infant just to get her to eat at all, which it seems like you don't need to do because you're daughter is eating, just not gaining weight.

Have you tried leaving the house and having someone else give her a bottle or sippy? At 11 months, I'd go to a sippy instead of a bottle, because we weaned our dd off of the bottle around 13/14 months, so why start one so late? Find a sippy she likes and something full of nutrients. They also make formulas for older babies, I know we use Similac and they have a Stage 2 for older babies.

It does look like you already have her on a great schedule, I hope something works. I'm sorry you're so stressed.

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J.Y.

answers from Chicago on

You may not have a low milk supply. I was never able to pump a drop, but my children always had plenty. Breast milk has much more nutrition than solid foods per volume. I would offer your breast more often. The more she nurses, the more milk your body will make. Try breastfeeding first and then offering solids to finish the meal. You can have a sippie available while she is eating. Babies are great at picking up on our stress. Maybe back off on the formula, and she may take more milk. She may also relax and start drinking from a cup if it isn't a constant battle. Also, all kids grow differently. It is great that she is active and hitting all milestones. Maybe she is just going to be small.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

My daughter was in the 10-15 % of weight and went down to the 1% after 1 year when she went from nursing to whole milk. The doctor put her on Pediasure, which is a formula for kids 1 to 10. My daughter drank 3 of those per day! She really needed the nutrition and quickly went back to her 10% weight range on the charts. She is still slender and petite.
Both my kids ONLY wanted the breast and in order for them to take a bottle I had to LEAVE the house and let them ONLy have the bottle as an option. After a while when they got used to the bottle from dad or aunt, they would also take it from me if I left them in the high chair or stroller, not on my lap. Also, the first liquid they were willing to take from a bottle was warm diluted apple juice.
The doctor at later appointments, when I expressed frustration with her picky eating, told me this: It is my job as a mom to put healthy food in front of her and her job to decide how much of it to eat. Wanting her to have a different body type and be "chunky" is not something that is healthy for her.
As long as the pediatrician is not concerned at her check ups I would suggest you get some time for yourself to relax or do an activity you enjoy while someone else gives her a bottle. Babies will not starve themselves out of spite, but they seem to be able to smell that mom is nearby. When really hungry I also eat things I do not really enjoy but give me strength, but if I can choose I also eat what I prefer!

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D.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

1) Do not think that your supply is low simply because you can't pump. Many women make plenty of milk but are never able to pump. Your body knows that the pump is not your baby, and won't respond to it.
2) I think the solution is not to nurse less often, I think it's to nurse MORE often.
Nurse as often as she will do it. And drink plenty of water (and nothing with caffeine) because you'll need to be well hydrated.
3) Nurse in a dark and quite place. Often babies this age are so interested in the world around them, they won't sit still to nurse until they are full. It helps to be in the least stimulating place possible - it worked best for me to nurse in the baby's room with the lights off (no TV, no radio, no one else in the room) when my babies were at this easily distracted age.
4) Yes to solids. But not in place of nursing. Breastmilk has more calories per ounce than any food. So nurse before every meal. Breastmilk also has many more calories than cow's milk, so definitely don't switch to regular milk.

I would suggest a schedule like this:
Whatever time you wake up: nurse
Midmorning: nurse, then offer a mid-morning snack of solid foods
Noon: nurse, then sit down and eat lunch, and offer her solid foods while you are eating
3PM: nurse, then offer an afternoon snack of solids
Dinner: nurse, then have her sit in her high chair while you eat, and eat solids for dinner
Before she goes to bed: nurse, then offer a bedtime snack
A few hours later: do a dream feed to get another nursing session in

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

What does her doctor say?

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Is she starting solids yet? I know every baby is different on when they are ready to start. At 11 months my daughter was eating a bowl of baby rice cereal mixed with formula and some mushed up banana or carrot or applesauce or whatever. She would eat a whole baby bowl full. She also was sitting with us at dinnertime and getting mashed up versions of what we were eating...and tiny pieces she could pick up and mush around in her mouth. She loved little bits of bread or soft veggie. She loved avocados and full fat yogurt too. I know some kids are not ready yet and gag so it depends on your daughter. My daughter was never chunky...she took after me. (Unlike my son) She was a long, lean baby but that was normal for her. What were you like as a baby? What was your husband like? You just will never have a chunky baby/toddler if that is not their body type.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

My youngest is tiny. I know that she was about that weight around one .. some babies are just skinny and petite. Has she been growing, Or did she loose weight. With my daughter they were concerned, but looking at her she did not look like failure to thrive or anything like that she was just tiny. Still is, 25 lbs at her 3rd birthday.

If you are truthful as to her personality, happy, good diapers.. RELAX..

Put regular milk in the sippy cup or water. She will get used to it.

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E.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Both of my kids had a dip in their growth charts around the time they learned to walk. My pediatrician expressed a tiny concern with my second when he dropped from 95th percentile to under 50th percentile at his 9 month check...until I told her he started walking at 8 months and was very, very active! She said to keep doing what we were doing, and we would check back in 3 months. If he dropped dramatically again, we would discuss possible actions. But her main concerns were that he continued to grow, hit new milestones, and have normal wet/poop diapers. He was also exclusively breastfed and at 9 months just starting solids as a regular part of his diet. By his 18 month appointment, he was back at 90th percentile for height and weight.
She sounds like she is doing great and developing at a normal or advanced pace for motor skills. I am guessing it is a monitor but don't panic case from your ped's perspective.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

I sure hope you're talking to your pediatrician about this!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

She should be also eating food at this age. Whole milk full fat yogurt, bananas and peanut butter, egg yolks, smoothies, avocados. Supplement with breast milk but around a year they should be on food for sure.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

At 11 months she should probably also be eating cereal and baby food does she have teeth yet?

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Get some healthy fats in there, too. Avocado's are wonderful and babies love them!!

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