My mother-in-law who lives in Florida is dying of cancer. My husband has been there a few times, most recently for a week and my son who is 2 1/2 seems mad at him. We have tried to explain that Grandma is sick and daddy is helping her and he seemed ok with this for the first couple of days. Now that Daddy is back my son is not as attached to him as he was and won't play with him like he used to. My husband will have to go back when she dies and I am not sure how to explain it all to my son. I know kids are resilient and Daddy will be back in his good graces again, but I would like advice on how to best ease the process. It is hard to know what is going on in my son's head.
Thanks
It's more simple. He's just mad at Daddy for not being home. Once it's all over and Daddy is home and back to the regular routine, he'll forget all about it.
Don't over analyze, just give him extra Mommy time for now. Forget the dishes and just snuggle.
I'm sure this is a challenging time for all of you. Be sure your son knows he has a right to his feelings. When we say things like, "You shouldn't be mad at your Daddy", we teach kids to shut down their feelings and not share them in healthy ways. Children use play to work through things, so you can join him in play and just follow his lead. If he is hitting two cars together, just voice for him what you see. If he's acting like one car is mad at the other, voice that. Don't interject your own thoughts much at all. He can work it through. I like the ideas of the others as well. Your husband actively being there in these ways will likely be more effective than you doing them. Love, patience, and trust are the keys. Good luck.
You know, even if your husband wasn't going away, your son would be developing negative behaviors. Say good-bye to those most precious months, when they can walk and almost talk and are still so sweet and cute. It's time for him to assert himself and be more demanding and cocky. I know, it is so sad. but look ahead, he has to become his own person and life keeps changing. Telephone conversations, digital pictures over the internet of him at grandma's, a book about grandparents dying, those are some ideas for easing this time and you will get many more.
since around 2 we started explaining to our son that he toys are soetimes broken and can't be fixed. then we found things like a dead bird and he understood the bird couldn't be fixed. now we use the word "died" or "dead" or "sick and not getting better". my friends dog died (not to compare a person w/a pet, sorry) and told her son she was going to doggy heaven, another place and won't come back. iguess it depends on the relationship your son has w/g ma. so sorry you have this pain in your life.
So sorry you're facing this. I might try to read a book about sickness/death to him. Check with your children's librarian for a good one that would be age appropriate. While daddy is away I would try calling each day and letting daddy talk to him, make a picture for daddy each day. Talk about how daddy misses him and will be back soon. Maybe daddy can take the little one to a favorite place just the two of them every now and then. That way when your husband has to travel you can talk about going to that special place when he returns. You could also make a paper chain to count down the days until daddy comes home (when he leaves). Or maybe daddy could record himself reading books(audio or video) to your son, that he could watch while he is gone. So hard to know what's going on in your little ones mind. Be sure to try to ask and then listen. If he can't verbalize feeling yet begin asking are you happy or sad? Keep asking here and there throughout daily life, so when you need to know what's going on, e is practiced in saying what her feels.
