Need Behavior Help

My son will be three in sept. he was also like this. I am a SAHM and when we would go to the mall and play at there play center built by the Clinic, he would act like your son is acting, As soon as it was just him and his sister playing he would be fine. Come to find out we had him evaluated and he has alot of Sensory Processing problems and was diagnosed with having Sensory Processing Disorder. There is too much going on for his brain to process everthing that was happening around him so his body would go into overload and he was just out of control. Like the other posts I too recommend The Out Of Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz, M.A. and also another book by Lindsey Biel, M.A. OTR/L and Nancy Peske called Raising A Sensory Smart Child. I would also ask his ped for a recommendation to the school and they can have him evaluated at no cost. My son and his SPD got him qualified for an Occupational Therepist to come to our house once a week during the school year and once a month durning the summer. He also qualified to start Preschool in the Special Ed unit of our Elementary/ High School and will get bused to and from school 4 days a week. At school he works with the Special Ed teacher and also his OT there at the school.
This SPD is also something that can be handled without medication!!!!
If you have any further questions or if I can just be someone that you can vent to and that understands what you are going threw email me at ____@____.com I would love to help you out any way I can!!
Just remember take a deep breath and know that he might have a reason for this acting out. Hang in there I know its sooo hard!!

Hi L.
I am sorry you are haveing to go through this I know how hard it can be on you. As I was reading your request I was thinking back to the hard time I had with my daughter she has been diagonsed with Sensory deffensivness and we took her to a occupational therpist. It made a HUGE differance she can now attend school with no issues and is very pleasant to be around. before she was treated she gave her older brother 3 black eyes and drew blood because she would bite him so hard. You may want to read The OUT OF SYNC CHILD it is a very helpful book. If you are feeling over whelmed and need to vent please send me a message. :)T.

Hi L.,

I know how hard this is for you. I have gone through the same kinds of things with my son. Have you ever taken him to a psychiatrist for an evaluation? I would wonder if he has ADHD, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, or one of the many autism spectrum disorders. Another one that my son was diagnosed with was Sensory Processing Disorder which can cause them to become overstimulated in large groups and can cause behavior problems. An Occupational Therapist can help you with that one or there's a great book called "The Out-of-Sync Child". I hope this was helpful. Good luck to you and hang in there. Things will get better.

K.

Hey L.,
Overall, what is he like at home? Does he do this to you all the time? Does he do it when he's with other family? Has there been a major life changing event that you think might be the stem of this? Maybe looking into a behavior specialist? Maybe there is something triggering him to behave this way?
I'm sure it's h*** o* him but I can't imagine how hard it is for you!
Good Luck~

L.,
I lived in a day care for 18 years(my mom did daycare until I was done with high school) and I have seen several children like this. In my opinion, you need to look for a daycare with a mother who is willing to help you deal with your problem. The mothers who brought their children to my mom would sit down with her and tell her the situation. This way my mother and the mother of the child could discuss what sort of discipline would be acceptable for both of them. My mom actually had a little boy at one point whose mother told her that it was okay for her to sit the kid down on her lap and cross her leg over him so that he was in a sort of gentle "hold" because the child would also not sit in a time out and, if ignored, would hurt or bother the other children. If I were you I would be as picky as possible when selecting a daycare so that you can find one with a provider that is willing to take the time to work with you son. Also have you trieexplaining to your son that it is hard to make friends if you are not nice to the other kids at daycare? Maybe if he finds a child his age that he really likes he won't feel the need to throw a tantrum. Maybe consider putting him into a daycare with a good friend that he already knows. I wish you the best of luck!

I would definitly say to get him check out for the other problems mentioned, and if that is not it maybe you need to spend some time with him in daycare. Show him that you can be there anytime if needed for discipline and that you will...Hopefully a few times showing up and disciplining him will show him you are not going to let this go.

First of all L. you have to stop... take a deep breath and remember that your son is only 3. Children are all going to be different. The biggest piece of advice that I can give you is that 10 times makes a habit. If the time outs don't work, and working through the tantrums are unbearable. I would see about getting him involved with an ECFE program. They offer classes and activities in the evening where you as parents stay in the rooms (more like a playgroup) and you can network with them on issues that occur with your child. Like bedtime routines, how to handle tantrums and activities that they can get involved in. You may even want to talk to your pediatrican on what they might suggest. I am sure it has got to be very frustrating however you are the parent... he is the child. Lay down the law... he is old enough to get a reward for having a good day at daycare. I have 2 boys 3/5 and if they get a naughty note sent home I take away one toy (usually a favorite but I make them help choose) example I use is: do you want your blankie gone for a week or your new semi truck? I then display it in sight for them it works good on top of the kitchen cabinets... mark down the days on the calender and show them there is an end in sight.
If another note comes home in the time frame I then take away 2 the next time and so on. It worked for me but again you have to make what ever you choose a habit.
Hang in there...
Contact me off line if you'd like.
L. (____@____.com)