My Twenty -Seven Month Old Daughter Refusing to Eat Lunch and Dinner

I am *so* sorry for your stress. I can only imagine how difficult it is.

For two year olds, if they aren't growing, their daily calorie needs are quite small. My uncle used to joke that two year olds lived on air.

To help ease your stress, why not start a food diary? She probably isn't eating well at all meals, but over say a week's time, she has gotten a better balance. Perhaps one day more fruits and another more grains and another not so much of anything. Looking at all of this over time instead of a single day gives a much better picture of her diet.

Lastly, have you tried liquid nutrition? For example smoothies. you can put all kinds of stuff in there - yogurt, flax, tofu, peanut butter.... If you search for nutritional kids smoothies or drinks, some really good ideas should be really easy to find.

good luck! Ad hopefully your OT will have some good ideas for you as well.

Why are you stressing about it? If she is getting therapy talk to her therapist. Don't worry about what other kids are doing, each kid does their own thing anyway. If you worry about what everyone else does you will make it harder for your daughter.

S. -

You're a mother, and you love your child. It's OK to be concerned about her well-being, and it's almost impossible not to compare your child to other kids when you know they're a little behind developmentally.

The best thing you're doing is being involved in helping her progress. She may never be where the "average" child is - she may be well ahead of other kids in many areas and behind in others, but she'll be gifted in her own ways.

My sister has 3 kids all with learning disabilities - probably genetically linked her their father who also has one - and is being studied by a large University-based Medical program to look at the genetics behind it.

None of her kids will be receiving academic scholarships, but they're all gifted in one way or another - what I don't agree with how they're approaching it is their refusal to make the kids overcome whatever challenges they have. Her MIL didn't do it with her husband and told him it wasn't his fault, so she would help him graduate. He's very disabled by her enablement and has never learned to flourish on his strengths instead of allowing his weaknesses to trump everything.

Just remember that even those "average" kids have something going on - you may not be able to see it, but there may be self-confidence issues, learning disabilities, etc.

As far as the meals go, I'd suggest continuing to work the the Pediatrician and the therapists. My sister's youngest will go on hunger strikes for days - he's just not interested in eating and then will eat everything in site, and the cycle repeats infinitely.

Best wishes!

When my daughter went through a stage like this, I was stressed out too. My parents thought she was the world's youngest anorexic when she said that she didn't like food at age 3. Finally, I kept a food diary. Most days, she did eat more than I thought she did. If she had a spell of 2 or 3 really bad days in a row, I would load her up into the car and drive to McDonalds. I would get a happy meal or two, and feed her the chicken nuggets as we drove around in the car. She would always eat more when she was buckled in and couldn't leave. Not the healthiest, but plenty of calories! Now she is 8 1/2, tall and thin, and eats a ton of healthy different foods every day. It does work out. Good luck!

S., I know where you are coming from. My son would only eat "soft" foods like yogurt, pasta and applesauce for several years. He began occupational therapy at 5 and now at 6 eats chicken nuggets, cheeseburgers, grapes, oranges and can even bite a sugar snap pea! He has weakness in his jaw so the occupational therapist works on that with him as well as expanding his repertoire of foods. So Iike you I spent many a kid's party or family get together wondering if he would ever bite into a rib or crunch a potato chip, and sometimes I still do wonder, but the progress he has made is so incredible that I try to just accept the small steps and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Best of luck to you. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to discuss further. L. S.

As a Mom of a 31 mos. old who's been in Speech & Feeding therapy & OT since she was 16 mos. old, I completely understand where your coming from. It's easy for people who have not been this route to say.. just don't stress over it.. easier said then done! Your natural instincts as a Mother are for the best for your child, and when you see them barely eating, your gonna stress. My daughter has come a LONG ways with OT, and has made many strides in the feeding dept. She still does not eat 'normal' foods that I'd like her to eat, but we are working on it. Each day she manages to get in fruit, veggies, and meat & starches. Granted, they may have to be in the form of smoothies, but she gets them in. Some days.. she eats NON-STOP!.. 90% of the time though, it's hit or miss. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Make fruit & veggie smoothies. I buy the Yoplait frozen smoothie mix & add 1/2 cup of cooked carrots & lowfat milk. They are REALLY good! Also google kids fruit & veggie smoothies to come up with more idea's. I make my daughter one w/fresh spinach & she loves it!

Peanut butter or sun butter on crackers.
Pudding
Dry cereal
Drinkable yogurt
Different flavors of applesauce
String cheese
Chix nuggets

Also, both our therapists suggested ALOT of messy food play & messy play in general, EVERY day.

I hope you find some of these suggestions helpful. I won't tell you NOT to stress, because I'm right there with you. I will tell you though, you WILL see improvement with therapy. The things the therapists suggest may seem off, or maybe their techniques, but they do work. Good luck to you!!!

It sounds like you are doing a great job for your little girl and it will come. My almost four year old eats like a lumberjack for breakfast, but almost never eats supper. I've had to learn to not try to control her and to allow her to decide when/what she eats. When I do, she eats a lot more food and greater variety. At your daughter's age, there was a lot of times when she mostly nursed and didn't eat a lot of food. Especially when she didn't feel well. Sometimes I think our expectations make things worse because they feel our tension, think something is wrong and it makes it hard for them to relax and enjoy food.