5 Year Old Very PICKY eater-Won't Try New Foods

Updated on November 22, 2010
S.J. asks from San Jose, CA
15 answers

My 5 year old son has been a really picky eater for quite some time. I think the only time he actually really ate well was when he was a baby and ate baby food. I blame myself for not starting him earlier on solid's but due to some other issues of constipation and gagging I didn't give him certain solid foods. My son doesn't drink JUICES, he love loves water and drink Rice Milk (Was told he's allergic to milk, peanuts)
He loves French Fries, Chips Crackers, Bagels, Yogurt (He isn't that allergic to milk and loves his Yogurt) and eats cashews and crackers. See my concern. He will eat PLAN pasta (Pastina) with nothing but butter on it.
LOTS OF CARBS. my husband and I (And my parents that watch him during the day) are concerned he doesnt eat any protien or meats. We ask and offer him foods to try and he starts to cry.
My poor son seems like he's really scared of trying new foods, as we are trying to feed him the right foods he's resisting and I have read other people saying they have gone through this and it will change, I am concerned it may not. he's growing and heathly but when he was younger he was Anemic and I still have to give him Iron daily to keep his levels up. Any help or suggestions. His Peditirician said he's growing so I feel maybe I am over reacting... help from other mother's that have been in my situation?

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

A child will not starve. Be sure to have one thing for each meal that he likes and then allow him to eat what he wants. I suggest that if you're less anxious about what he eats he will gradually relax and try, on his own, other foods.

Yogurt and cashews contain protein. People who are allergic to milk can often eat yogurt because of the way it's made. It's great that he drinks water. Fruit juices are loaded with calories and carbs. What he eats is alright and since he is healthy I wouldn't stress about it.

My 7 yo grandson is also a picky eater and has always been. He has a sensory processing disorder. What he eats or doesn't eat seems like such a small thing in comparison to his learning and behavior issues. His occupational therapist is going to give his mother a plan for increasing what foods he eats. It's something like first having the food on the table but not even asking him to eat any. Move the serving bowl closer to his plate over time. That's all that I remember. I'll try to get a copy of the plan and add it to this.

I think the focus is to provide the food but let the child decide for himself whether or not he eats it. No pushing it on him.

You could also try making certain foods fun by forming funny faces or doing other things with them such as ants on a log which is celery filled with peanut butter and put raisins on top. Perhaps have him help you choose foods and help prepare them.

I remember not liking meat as a youngster because it was tough. I love meat now. Have you tried cutting the meat up into very small pieces or serving hamburger? If he ate better as a baby, perhaps you could puree some foods for him.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S.,

First and foremost don't blame yourself. Your son could have a sensory issue that needs to be resolved. We have a son who has sensory issues and it has affected his eating. Since he has attended feeding team sessions his food repertoire has gotten better. He still doesn't eat meats but we keep trying. I suggest you read the book: "Food Chaining" written by occupational therapists. The food therapy that my son goes to uses some of their methods. I highly recommend it. When my son at age 4 still did not eat hardly anything (only ate about 5 things) we saw our local children's hospital feeding team. Most children's hospital's have them. We also called it "picky eating" but we soon realized after having him evaluated by the team (consisted of psychologist, occupational therapist, G&I doctor, nutritionist & speech pathologist) that he had sensory issues and suffers from food aversion (another name for it is oral defensiveness). We then chose to put him into feeding therapy called "lunch class" which consisted of about 7 kids all with different issues regarding food. The class was run by an o.t. and speech pathologist and it was structured in such a way that they made eating fun. My son tried and continues to eat some foods introduced in this program. Meanwhile they worked with the parents for a home program which I have to say does work but you got to keep at it. I would suggest that you get your son evaluated just to make sure. By the way, my pediatrician also said there was nothing wrong because he was growing normally but I insisted on a referral to the feeding team. I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. I wish you luck, I know sometimes as mother's we tend to blame ourselves on something we did or didn't do but we can't sit back until we find an answer. I think that's why you are asking your question today. Best of luck.

3 moms found this helpful

S.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, the horse is really out of the barn on this one.
Wherever/however did DS ever get any chips, crackers, fries
and thus the opportunity to learn that he likes these things?
Surely someone must have given them to him?
Gosh.
And when you ask (nicely) or offer other stuff, he cries.
And he's FIVE years old.
Cut up some chicken or salmon or a lamb chop
into very small pieces.
Mix some into his plain (no butter) pasta.
See how he does with that.
You haven't mentioned bananas or avocados.
Mix some pieces of banana into his yogurt.
See how that goes.
I hope that the yogurt you give him doesn't have ADDED SUGAR?
My mind is going (something like) blub-blub-blub . . .
I may get a bit more articulate later.
I'm just reacting so strongly to your request.
If he were between two and three,
I probably wouldn't have gone off this way.
Poor kid.
Gma S.
=============================
Whew.
Great answers.
It hadn't occurred to me that there may be some sensory issues.
Of course you couldn't know that.
If there are no similar resources closer to home for you,
I'd be pretty sure that there's something like that at Stanford,
not too far up the road from you.
I'll bet your son is going to be an enthusiastic eater
of all manner of interesting foods when he gets older.
Especially if he sees you and dad enjoying a varied menu.

2 moms found this helpful

E.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

I was a picky eater as a child. Wrecked my enjoyment of good, adult, diverse food for life because my parents nearly force fed me. So, my warning, is to be careful fighting what might be a case of "super taster" syndrome. You can google that but what it means is having more taste buds and things taste radically different to a super taster than to the "normals". = )

My kids are just pre-disposed to eat almost anything and they've been raised on healthy, natural foods. So, we are 50% lucky and 50% of it is our commitment to healthy eating.

For your specific questions (and know that these are purely my opinion and are not medical fact):
*Ditch the juice.
*Whole grains carbs only.
*Offer as much as he wants of the things that he likes as long as they are healthy. My littlest went thru 1 week where all he wanted was yogurt and flaxseed pancakes. So be it.
*If he doesn't want to finish a meal - That's fine. But then no snacks later. He is old enough to have some control and to understand that his choices have consequences. He will eat when he is hungry enough.
*Protein is important. But it can come from soooo many non-traditional sources. Beef being the least healthy and actually, the protein that most little ones turn their noses up at. Check the internet for non-meat protein sources.
*Keep fresh fruit and veggies and cheese on hand at all times.
*Presentation counts. For example, I can skewer an entire meal on a kabob and the kids will eat it simply because it looks "fun".

2 moms found this helpful
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N.P.

answers from Modesto on

My 14yr old son was like this.......cried at the mention of news foods to try......even Mac n Cheez & pizza! When he turned 7, it was like a "switch" went off and he was willing to try something new. Now at 14, he eats everything I make, and has a well balanced diet, or at least a better one :O) When he was younger, I alwasy gave him Pediasure milkshakes to make myself feel better.

Keep asking your son if he wants to try something. I did this everyday when I made my hubby and I dinner. I always asked if he "wanted a bite". One day, your son will say "sure".........

Now I just have to have patience with my 8yr old :o) He's taking much longer to try new foods! thankfully, I've been through this before, so I'm not too worried. My 8yr old won't even try waffles or scrambled eggs!

Moral of my story........your son will eat more when he's brave and ready. Try not too worry too much. Leave out the pressure of it, to eliminate tears. I don't think it's worth tears.

Just so you know..........My yougest son will eat Top Ramen and apples for Thanksgiving dinner this year. My 14 yr old will eat everything on the table (except for the sweet potatoes probably). Each year we "graduate" at Thanksgiving :O)

Have a nice Holiday!

~N. :o)

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C.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have a picky one too. Your son could just be picky, but you might consider having him evaluated by a Occupational Therapist with experience in pediatric sensory issues. Some picky eaters have sensory issues and are over sensitive to taste and/or certain textures.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son, has always been SUPER picky since a baby.
I don't battle about it.
He is also a grazer... does not eat a ton at one sitting. He only goes by his body cues... hungry or full. Which is good.
As he's gotten older, he has naturally widened... his palate. Naturally.
My son likes PLAIN things too. So be it.
I cook as I normally do... but for his I don't season it.
My friend's son... is the same way.

BUT... my son is in the 97th percentiles for growth/height. He is a tall lanky kid.... and solid built. He is very healthy and rarely gets sick.
My friend's picky son is the same way.
So... my little Dude... is growing fine.
That's good.

I never battle my kids about eating... or food.
And he will eat more when he is having a growth-spurt. He will actually tell me what he is craving or wants to eat... and he does eat healthy. We don't have junk in the house.
My son is not into juice either. That's good.

all the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

Just Take a Bite is a book that may help. I just listened to a lecture by Elizabeth Strickland about picky eaters vs problem feeders. Here is a description by Day Toomey PhD

Picky eater:
-decreased variety of foods < 30
-foods lost due to burn out regained after about 2 weeks
-able to tolerate new foods on plate, touch or taste
-Eats at least one food from most food textures
- Adds new foods to repertoire in 15-25 steps

Problem feeder
-Restricted range of foods <20
-Foods lost due to burn out not regained
-Falls apart, tantrums or meltdowns when presented new foods
-Refuses entire categories of textures
-Adds new foods in > 25 steps

Day Toomey PhD

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

My youngest son is a very picky eater. I think some kids are just like this. I give him a probiotic and a daily vitamin each day. He can go through the entire winter without getting sick so I know he is healthy but not real adventurous when it comes to eating.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I have a six year old...here are some things we talk about with food...

We got a book about the human body and digestive system. We then read about how we need all the different types of food to allow our bodies to work right. What good foods are for our brain, our muscles, our bones, etc etc etc

I bought a book on nutrition that we look up different food in and it tells us the vitamins and minerals in each food...so we learn what eating it does to help us be healthy and strong.

Right now learning to read is a BIG deal to my son...before that it was being strong for his martial arts class...and we talk about how healthy foods make his brain smarter to learn to read better.

Maybe start with a nice piece of white fish and bake it with a little olive oil and salt, no spices or sauce. Let him try a small bite, it is very mild...maybe just a hint of ketchup (I will allow my son ketchup on some of his meats...they do make it with out high fructose corn syrup)...or a small piece of chicken baked or roasted.

Talk about foods together other times than at meals and get him involved...and talk to him about it...he is five and should have some input as to why the food scare him. Good luck!!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Honey, this post could be written by me!!! No, seriously, I have the same problem with my 4 1/2 year old son who will be 5 next April. I thought I did everything right. My husband often wonders because I breastfed him until he was 3 might be the reason he loves sweets so much. He is "Carb" boy through and through.

We don't have junkfood (i.e. candy, chips) in the house so his eating is okay; not great, but okay. (I don't have any juice in the house since I don't want him to fill up on empty calories. Just milk and water).

He loves bananas, strawberries, grapes, watermelon basically all kinds of fruits, he'll eat a hamburger, peanut butter jelly sandwich, yogurt, cereal, oatmeal, etc. He tends to like anything sweet. I have to hide things like the yogurt in the back of the refrigerator because he'd eat that all day if he had the chance.

Often times because my husband doesn't get home until later, I'll eat with both boys. My oldest will have the soup I'm making and the youngest won't even want to try it. After trying to pry his mouth open (sounds crazy, but I've tried), I end up giving him a banana instead. I know; I'm probably
terrible for giving in. I've sent him to bed before hungry. As you can see, it's become a huge power struggle.

This is the answer I got from a child expert online:
"I have observed Head start programs and am always amazed at what children are eating as they are offered only healthy foods, no deserts or high carb or sugar foods. Their policy is kids are served family style and they serve themselves with spoons or tongs. They are required to put some of each item offered on their plate but do not have to eat it. They can have seconds on preferred foods even when they do not try the other foods. Once the children realize that no one will battle them and all they need to do is look at and smell a new food, they do not complain. What is truly amazing is, in about 3 months most of the kids are eating everything offered. Growing up myself and with my own kids, we took a no thank you helping and tasted one bite. This seemed to be respectful when we went to eat away from our home. Most cooks will accept a person not caring for a food if they at least tried it. I have also read that a child has to see, smell and taste a new food at least 10 times before they accept it into their repertoire."

So S., what I have been doing is trying not to get too upset like I have been doing. I put food on his plate that the rest of us are eating, and I always make sure that there is something healthy on it that I know he will eat. If he says he doesn't want the rest of it, I just tell him that's okay, and I don't make a big deal out of it. I'm just going to keep trying. I know this isn't much help, but I feel for you; I'm in the same boat.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi,

My now six year old son was a very picky eater until about a litle over a year ago. Until age 4 (almost 5), he was very picky. He mostly ate wheat, sugar and dairy. He didn't eat many fruits. veggies or protein (other than the dairy). I was very concerned and knew we needed to make a change. Plus, he was having some recurrent health problems and I knew his immune system was not what it should be. I took him to a nutritionist in Scott's Valley. Here is her website: http://www.healthylifestyleonline.us/. She did an Indican scan on his urine which told us he had a leaky gut. She recommend removing wheat and sugar from his diet. She also explained that the wheat actually fills receptors in the brain. The kids kind of get addicted to the wheat and sugar and won't eat anything else. Once you remove those items from the diet, the kids will eat a larger variety of foods. Anyway, we tried it. At first he resisted, but now, the kid eats carrots, brocolli, swiss chard, lamb, fish, grass-fed beef, fruit, etc. He still has a tendency to be picky and not want to try things. But we still offer new things and encourage him even if he tries it and doesn't like it.

I hope this helps.

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T.H.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldn't worry about it as long as his weight and height are in a good percentile as per your doctor. Some people just don't like meat. It sounds like he is getting plenty of protein from the yogurt and nuts. If you are really concerned, get some Pediasure and give that to him a couple times a day. My daughter had Failure to Thrive due to being extremely tactily defensive (Autism) and drank Pediasure for years to keep up her weight. It tastes good and gets them all the nutrients that they need so you can stop worrying. His age is really prone to being picky so it is probably a phase that he will outgrow. Good Luck.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I learned the hard way that picky eaters who don't eat protein enter into kind of a Catch 22 - they don't eat protein which makes them picky eaters, which makes them only want to eat carbs (thus, no protein).

We discovered that starting the day with a protein shake (or protein powder added to yogurt) made a HUGE difference in everything. Once the protein door was opened, it kept opening. My picky eaters became less picky as time went by.

If you try this, make sure to look for a whey-based protein powder, since soy-based powders can be estrogenic for kids.

All of those carbs turn into sugar in his system, which means that his seratonin levels are probably low, which makes him crave the carbs even more.

Also, here's a recipe for home-made waffles chock-full of protein. My kids LOVE these. This is a pretty forgiving recipe - we end up using a lot more flour than what's listed. Just add until the texture feels right.

COTTAGE CHEESE PANCAKES/WAFFLES

1 c. cottage cheese
1/3 c. milk
1/2 c. whole wheat flour
4 eggs
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Yields about 10 pancakes or 9-10 waffles
Protein: about 6-7 grams each, depending on size

Blend all ingredients with blender. Do not use mixer or you will
have chunks of cottage cheese. I use a stick/shake blender. I just
blend it in the bowl that I am using.

Suggested Toppings:
natural peanut butter
unsweetened applesauce and cinnamon warmed in microwave
butter and all fruit jelly

Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Will he eat tofu? My son is picky with meats, but will eat teriyaki flavored tofu from Trader Joe's and will also eat ham & cheese or turkey and cheese sandwiches. Also, fortified cereals have lots of iron in them.

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