I Need Help and Advice on What to Feed My 4 Year Old

Updated on March 07, 2009
J.L. asks from Darien, IL
9 answers

My son who is almost 4 is a VERY picky eater. He will only eat about 1 dozen things due to what we think is a sensory issue. He will eat rice cakes, chicken nuggets, pancakes, waffles, fries, dan active yogurt drink, peanut butter, crackers, bagels, and that's about it. No fruits or vegetables. I offer just about everything that everyone else eats but he will just gag while looking at it. I have tried forcing him to eat it (well not exactly but putting a little in his mouth) and he will just gag and throw up. I don't believe in "kids will eat eventually so just let them go hungry" and am not looking for any harsh advice because he has a sensitivity and/or food issues. His ped thinks it's not the inability to swallow but more of a sensory issue. However, I've noticed that he has what I call "adult" tastebuds and maybe I am offering him the wrong type of food. He will eat mints like they are candy and even likes mint flavored adult toothpaste. He has eaten dark chocolate and cranberry juice together. He seems to like strong flavors. Of course the other children, myself, and my husband don't like those strong flavors so either way I feel like a short order chef. I give him a vitamin and try every day to get something "healthy" down him but again I can't force him. At dinner time he usually will push his plate away and gag. I don't want mealtimes to be stressful nor do I want him not to sit at the table because he is "afraid" of his food so I offer him something he will eat so he will sit at the dinner table with us. Since I am not used to making strong flavored food I need some ideas on what he will eat. Again, please don't reply if you are going to tell me to let him go hungry because I don't believe in doing that. He has an actual "fear" of certain foods and I need to try something else and the only thing that I can think of is maybe I am offering him the wrong stuff because he has a desire to want to eat strong flavored things. He's in OT/Speech at school and they continue to work on descentizing him by using mouth swabs, and flavors. Please help! I can't keep banking on the idea that he will grow out of it. I need a list of food or recipes for kids that have this issue, I'm kind of at wits end! Thank you!

Edited to say: Another obstacle that is going to be a problem is getting him to actually try the new food. He tends to like crunchy things but even if I make him a meal he may like I need to convince him to try it!

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for all of your great advice! I actually googled speech and OT therapist with a specialty in food adversion. I found a doctor out of children's memorial hospital who actually has a feeding clinic for children that have this problem. I have an appointment at the end of April! I am so excited and I hope I can get some tips! Thanks again.

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

J.,
Try fresh green beans,sliced yellow,green,red peppers to look like french fries slightly saute with garlic and olive oil.
J.

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S.Q.

answers from Chicago on

Hi! I did a quick search on google for "Occupational Therapy + Food Aversion" and there are several websites with good tips for parents on how to introduce foods into the diet of a child considered a "problem eater" (fewer than 25 foods eaten) in a safe, lower stress manner. New foods are tricky with most typically-developing kids, but kids with sensory issues seem to have an even harder time accepting a change in diet. This could be tied to the item's smell, visual presentation, sound of the food and of course, taste and texture.

Here is a link to a pediatric therapy clinic's website. I don't know this clinic, but I read through this page and it appears to be appropriate. They take a sensory based approach that includes learning to tolerate interaction with a food first, followed by presence on plate, smell, taste, then swallow. A process that may take days or weeks.

http://www.developmentaldelay.net/page.cfm/272

Does you child receive OT services other than to address feeding issues at school, such as a brushing protocol or other types of sensory input? I'd suggest you talk with the school OT to see if she/he has suggestions on how to carry-out a program of food introduction at home. Sometimes, if a child receives sensory input prior to coming to the table to eat, they can tolerate the new food a bit easier.

I will leave it up to the other mamas on mamasource to share ideas on how to include fruits and veggies into his list of acceptable foods (such as grated apples into pancakes or fruit puree into the yoghurt drink.)

But, kids with sensory issues can sometimes pick up immediately on the fact that something is "different" and then cross off that previously accepted food from their list!

GOOD LUCK! Keep us posted how things go!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

It really sounds like a disorder if you honestly don't think he's playing you. My daughter tried the gagging thing and got into serious trouble. My mother never allowed it so I don't either. SOunds though like it is a disorder and you maybe over your head. I would seriously see if there is a counselor he can work with.

As far as strong tastes go then he should like things like bell peppers, sharp cheddar cheese, blue cheese, olives, spicey foods like jalapenos...

Here is a recipe for rice and beans I've never seen a kid turn down....but there is always a first.

You will need to put one bell pepper, onion, 3 cloves garlic, two tablespoons cilantro (freeze the rest of the bunch), a dash of oregano all in a food processor. Seed the pepper and peel the onion and garlic, of course.

Make a puree and put in a clean jar. Store in the back of your fridge. It will keep for several weeks.

Your beans

Saute 2 tablespoons of the spices you just made in a pan with 2 tablespoons olive oil, 2 tsp salt, 3 to 4 tablespoons tomatoe sauce and a single packet of Sazon (you can find it in a box in the hispanic section of most Jewell's or Woodmans). When aromatic...don't burn, add a can of kidney beans and one can of water. Let it come to a boil and then simmer with a lid on it for like a 1/2 an hour.

Serve with white rice.

I like to serve this with fried pork chops seasoned with Adobo. Adobo is another seasoning found in a spice type bottle in the hispanic section as well. Usually the bottle/jar is yellow. Doesn't really matter the flavor.

That is would be my girls' favorite foods. They ask for it on their birthdays. I've never seen a kid turn it down or the pork chops. Now sometimes they don't want the beans too much, but they love the juice on the rice and the pork chops...even my 10 month old son will eat this.

I hope that helps. Try foods like chili or highly seasoned chicken, tacos, fried rice, chicken salad with artichokes....

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K.N.

answers from Chicago on

Since he likes yogurt, can you turn the yogurt into a drink "smoothie", with fresh fruit blended in it? I make strawberry, blueberry for my daughther and she loves it.
How about sweet potato fries or apples with peanut butter since he likes peanut butter already?
Good luck,
K.

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

Have you taken you child to a specalist to check and make sure he does not have an problems with his throat and swallowing?
If he has no other physical problem it just may take time for him to want to try them. Don't make a big deal of it with him let him ask for things. He is still very young.

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

BTW- There is a terrific article in the March edition of Wondertime magazine!

****Something to help him try foods without a battle and
to keep peace at the table and hopefully widen his pallet.
Use the marble jar method:

Explain everything OUTSIDE of mealtime.
"We are going to work toward a prize-
There is going to be a jar for marbles on the table. Every time you try something on your own at the table -we put in a marble- every time you make a scene we take one out.
Then put his acceptable foods on his plate.
Try this for a while- don't rush it and DON'T TALK about it at the dinner table. Try it- Give it a week give it a month. It can't hurt at this point. I have the feeling that you will have success.

Good Luck

PS-Maybe you can have him decorate the jar lid.

PPS-Whenever you are having something he likes - pancakes ect. Offer his in the way he is accustomed - Experiment with the families version - blueberry syrup/fresh blueberries. A little stepping block- familiar with unfamiliar. But keep his the way he likes. Maybe he will reach over to try. Be patient. And make sure the prize is a big one (don't remind him about it, though, -it's counterproductive- he is old enough to remember)

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

If he likes strong flavors perhaps you could dress up the veggies? My stepdaughter likes spicy foods (the spicier the better!) so she eats carrots with tangy ranch dressing and apples with cinnamon.

You could see what kinds of dressings he likes by adding them onto the foods he already eats. You mentioned he likes chicken nuggets. Would he try dipping them in spicy barbeque sauce or hot mustard or ranch dressing?

Once you know he likes a certain dressing or spice you can add that to the new food so it's not so "new" tasting. If he likes spicy barbecue on his nuggets he might like to try pork with the same barbecue sauce.

Could you make apple pancakes? Maybe by adding a slight twist to the foods he likes he will branch out and decide he likes apples after all. If you put sliced apples and cinnamon on his pancakes he might go for just plain cinnamon apples the next time. I guess it's like slowly transitioning into new foods instead of assaulting him with a totally new flavor!

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N.P.

answers from Chicago on

There is a great book by William G Wilkoff, MD called Coping with a Picky Eater that every parent or provider of kids should read and have a copy of. http://www.amazon.com/Coping-Picky-Eater-Perplexed-Parent...

This book has what I call the Picky Eater Plan. I have used this plan with kids that literally threw up at the sight of food and within 2 weeks they were eating normal amounts of everything and trying every food.

First you need to get everyone who deals with the child on board. If you are a provider it's ok to make this the rule at your house and not have the parents follow through but you wont' see as good results as what I described up above.

The plan is to limit the quantities of food you give the kid. When I first start with a child I give them literally ONE bite worth of each food I am serving. The book suggests that every time you feed the kids (breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner) you give all 4 food groups. So, for lunch today I would have given the child one tiny piece of strawberry, one spoonful of applesauce, 3 macaroni noodles with cheese on them, and 2 oz of milk. Only after they ate ALL of what was on their plate would you give them anything else. They can have the same amounts for seconds. If they only want more mac and cheese, they only get 3 noodles then they would have to have more of all the other foods in order to get more than that. If they don't eat, fine. If they don't finish, fine. Don't make a big deal out of it, just make them stay at the table until everyone else is done eating. They don't get more food until they are sat at the next meal and they only get what you serve. When I first do this with a child I don't serve sweets at all. So no animal crackers for snack but rather a carrot for snack. Or one of each of those. I don't make it easy for them to gorge on bad foods in other words. Now if they had a meal where they ate great then I might make the snack be a yummy one cause I know they filled up on good foods.

Even at snacks you have to limit quantities of the good stuff or else they will hold out for snack and just eat those snacky foods. I never give a picky eater the reward of a yummy snack unless they had that great lunch prior to it.

It really is that easy.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

My 3 1/2 year old sounds very similar to your son. He would gag and throw up at any food he didn't recognize even if I knew if he tried it he would like it. Maybe it's some mental thing. I don't know, but it sounds like your son likes the Yogurt drinks, so I'm thinking what I did for my son to get good nutrients in him may work for you. I started making him "smoothies" in the blender at least twice a day. You can sneak lots of different fruits and veggies in there and then feel ok about letting them have the other stuff like chicken nuggets & crackers. I would use a few TBS of Organic Strawberry yogurt, a handful of frozen fruit like Strawberries, blueberries, peaches, bananas, pineapples or even add some fresh fruit like kiwi or whatever I have at the time and then add a handful of fresh greens like Spinach (really it gets blended up and as long as you add enough of the fruit and other sweet stuff...he won't taste it). Sometimes I'll add some Vanilla Rice milk (which is sweetened a bit) or a small amount of Apple Juice and then just add enough water or milk so it will all blend up. I often add a teaspoon of Spriulina to the drink too. This is a dietary supplement you can find in Health food stores. It's a Green Super Food for Immune Defense and has Natural Antioxidents. It's the equivalent of 3-4 servings of common veggies. (It's a dark green powder...so it does turn the smoothie a not-so-pretty color...just don't serve it in a clear glass. I use something with a lid and give him a straw.) My son LOVES these smoothies and usually asks for more. Good luck!

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