My 18 Month Old Daughter Won't Stop Biting

I worked at a daycare that had a bitter. The trick the provider used was to cliip something to this child's shirt with a pacifier clip for him to chew on. For example: take a pacifier clip and hook a small bitable toy to it and then clip it to her shirt. Then explain that when she feels like she needs to bite to bite the toy. I've seen this provider use it multiple times with multiple children and it works wonderful. Especially for bitters that are teething or frustrated.

Hope this helps.
-J.

Keep track of it. Write down when, where, who she bit, who was supervising, and the reason if known. That may help you figure out what the problem is.

My son was into biting us...I just consistantly told him it hurts us and gives us "owies". What really helped was a couple times I pretended to cry...then he just stopped.

I can relate-it's tough to be in your situation! I also had a biter at the same age-sad to say she didn't end this phase for almost a year-it was awful. Like you, I tried everything, and only learned some things after the fact from a woman who had researched kids biting.

1) Try to find the reason for the biting. Is she tired? Hungry? Frustrated? Doing it for attention? Is another kid doing something to provoke her? Where does it tend to happen, when, and why? See if you notice patterns and respond accordingly (ie If it's because she's gotten overtired, make sure she gets plenty of rest. If it's because a certain kid always grabs at her-deal with that angle.) With my kid, she always bit in very public places like parks, and she was telling me she'd had enough but I wasn't getting it! She also pushed kids down-always kids who were nonverbal. When I really thought about it-she was just trying to get them to interact with her. With verbal kids, she normally played very well.

2) Some kids "feel things with their mouths." Biting isn't really any worse than any other normal (but unacceptable) behavior-it's just that adults tend to react so dramatically to it, since we associate the behavior with animals. She shouldn't be kicked out of daycare for this anymore than she should for pushing, having a tantrum, whatever. Your daycare should work with you to address the issue, not "get rid of the kid!"

3) Choose a response method and stick with it. Be VERY consistent. I know too late that what I should have done-every time-is calmly tell my child "no biting," and immediately leave the park or wherever we were. Instead, I tried reasoning with her (because she was extremely verbal), time outs, etc.-and what this was doing was giving her too much attention for the behavior. In truth I sometimes didn't want to leave wherever we were because it was inconvenient, but that was exactly what my daughter needed me to do. Find out what your daughter is trying to tell you.

It WILL end. My 4-year old today is a sweet, empathetic, gentle child. Back then I might have thought she'd end up an aggressive "monster." Feel free to email me; I have more suggestions if you don't find something that works.

I tried EVERYTHING with my son. (Including teethers, following him around, talking with him, and yes, even eventually biting him back - he thought that last one was funny). What finally worked was tobasco sauce. I know that a lot of people think it is cruel and I can't/don't use this in my daycare. But when my son was 2 and 3 he would bite his twin brother so hard he had bruises all over his body. So a co-worker told me to put a little tobasco sauce on his tongue every time he bites. It only took about three times. For us it was the magic solution. Vinegar may also work. My sister used that.)

I just wanted to say that I totally totally disagree with the advice to bite her back. That is teaching her that you do it, so it must be okay to do. I honestly can't believe that any parent who is educated on the subject of raising children would suggest that...

Our son bit for awhile too. At daycare, they would give him something appropriate to bite on - a teether, plastic rings, etc. They would spend more time with the child/person bitten to show him that he would NOT get attention by biting. He would have to sit in timeout, etc. while the bitten child/person got attention.

My mom suggested we try biting back to show him it hurt. I never did it - seemed counterproductive to me, but we were very firm with him & told him in our best "mommy" or "daddy voice": NO BITING. Then we would move away from him (set him on the floor if we were holding him, walk into another room if safe to do so, etc.).

We found that he needed undesirable, consistent consequences and it stopped relatively quickly.

Good luck! I remember how frustrating the biting phase was - the good news is that it does pass!
J.
mom to Chase (3)

My sister Jessica was a bitter. One day she bit me really hard (we were very little). Then my mom bit her and she never bit anyone again.

G.-
Although I have two small kids, neither of them are biters (yet!), but I was a biter as a child--a really bad biter. This may sound a bit extreme, but my mom had had it, and so she asked me to bite myself as hard as I normally bit other children. I proceeded to do so, and chomped down on my arm, and started screaming hysterically--I never bit anyone again after that. ( I was about your daughter's age as well.) My mom claims I didn't realize that I was hurting people, but had found a way to vent my frustration with them that was quite effective. However, when I bit myself, I realized that it was painful and stopped. She advises to try this instantly after your daughter bites someone, so it is a clear behavorial connection. Good luck!

G.,

I know where you are coming from I have an 18 mo old son who went through that and also through some real aggressiveness (which still happens from time to time). I have monitored him now for the last coupe of months and found that if he is tired he will will be aggressive hit, bite, pull hair. So what I have done is just kept a real close eye on it and when he gets this way I put him down for a nap. I know at the daycare your provider probably can't give your daughter the "special eye" but maybe ask if she would be willing to just keep an extra eye on her and monitor her. Honestly kids that age are trying to find out about the world, test limits and figure out boundaries. By keeping special watch the daycare provider would save herself the headache of dealing with a biting child and the one who was bitten. I don't know that there is anything really you can do being you are not there. Good Luck and don't blame yourself (I did) bc its not your fault. She is just a child.
Warm Regards,
B.
SAHM Hannah 6 Sam 18 mo

My first question to you is, does your daughter bite at home or only at daycare? You've got to get the the root of the problem. At your daughter's age it is likely that she's biting out of frustration. Generally children at that age have a hard time expressing their feelings and act out in ways that get attention. It may be the same child she is biting all the time. Having worked in daycare for 6 years, they need someone to shaddow your daughter for a week and stop her before she bites. Give her appropriate things to chew on such as cold teethers and teething rings. It's a rough situation to be in. I would suggest sitting down with the daycare provider, getting all the information you can and make a plan of action. Show them you are in this with them and make an effort to help. Good luck! Biting is a frustrating issue. If you have any questions feel free to email me. I'm more than willing to help you in any way I can. I have lots of literature on biting in the daycare setting that I'd be happy to share with you. ____@____.com

Is this your daughters way of showing her frustrations? It sounds like it to me...My daughter did that...I had to explain time after time that biting is not ok...I eventually bit her back once when she bit me on the inside of my thigh. (yes I know that makes me a hypocrite) BUT she never bit me again because she learned that it hurts when you bite and hurting people is not ok. I liked the idea of giving her something to chew on or bite when she needs to. That is some good advice.

My next question...does she bite a variety of kids at daycare, or does he only bite the same 1 or 2? If it's the same ones every time ask the teachers at daycare to keep those children apart. It is not "over the top" to ask something like that. Sometimes kids just don't like each other...even at 18 months.