Moms in Fullerton, 10 Year Old Behavior

Updated on February 14, 2008
D.V. asks from Fullerton, CA
7 answers

i have a ten year old daughter and she does have some disibilities, She does not really know how to make friends appropiately. She is always doing something agressive or anoying to get the other kids attention. Nobody wants to play with her because of this. Does anyone know of any classes that we could take together to help her out?

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So What Happened?

Thank you Lisa for your advise :-) My daughter has a mild case of CP. She was in SP day class and I fought the district to put her in regular classes 3 years ago. She does very well in most of her work but the interacting is not good. She is a very funny girl and likes to play jokes smiles all the time and just wants a friend. I have always been very involved with the School and the district, so we are on the same page for the most part. She is starting to develop a bit as a young lady so I think some other stuff is going on if you know what I mean. This has been a tough road for her and I but I will never stop doing what I do. My prayers each night is for her to find one, just one friend that could understand her.

More Answers

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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear D.-

Although you don't mention specifically your daughters disabilities, you may check with her teacher and or schoold district office and/or SELPA if she is in special education. They often have resources that are free and have first hand knowledge of your daughters limitations and also her strengths.

Many children, especially girls at that age, are cruel when it comes to children being different. Your teacher may recommend paring her with a regular education student that his particularly kind or caring, willing to over look that initial first look or action. They can start with small activities to allow interaction.

Many children with all types of disabilities seem to "stand out" and have immature behaviors. They will learn to develope to their potential and interact with others. The school and various personnel are there to help and want what you want for her- the very best.

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

D.,

Your daughter is just the right age to attend several fun classes offered through your community's park and recreation program.. Topics include academic type classes, arts and crafts, adventure and day camps, this is a rough age for girls, and often they just need a little practice with their socializing skills. Put her in groups where she is an equal to the age of the other kids attending and then try to make playdates with other kids in that group. Take her to a therapist also, this individual will give her tools to deal with anxiety over social situations, and making friends. Plus this individual will get to the root of the issue and help your child cope. Your daughter needs your help right now to become a friendly, happy, social being. Remember to have fun with her when you are out!

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V.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm not sure what you're saying. Are you saying that her disability is not being able to make friends, or did you throwe that in for the heck of it? Judging by your spelling of disability, I'm going to go with the latter, and tell you this. Making friends is difficult for some kids. For some it comes naturally, for others it does not. For thos of us that it does not come naturally for, unfortunately, in an effort to make friends, we try too hard, and end up going over the top to win someone's affection or attention. I'm going to say it's just the age. She will learn, via trial and error, that making friends has more to do with being yourself, and less to do with pushing yourslef onto other people. :) Good luck!!

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi D.,

Personally, I think Martial Art class will help her in this area as it was helping my kids. The fun thing is you can take this class with her. Also, your 8 years old can join you guys as well.

Good luck

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K.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

D., have you tried martial arts with her? My son and I take karate lessons and I LOVE our studio - they are all about instilling confidence, respect and discipline, and I have seen so much growth in my son since we started going there. If you want to give it a try, I can get you a couple of guest passes and you can see if it's a good fit. They work with all kinds of children and adults of all abilities - I've even seen people in wheelchairs taking classes.

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

http://www.steppingstonestherapy.org/

My daughter is eight years old, she had some disabilities. Wea re working on her social skills. She just started a class at the above mentioned place. Give Brock a call, he may help.

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C.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

If your daughter has disabilities, is she getting appropriate learning help from the local school district? Sometimes children who do not know how to read body language can get into all sorts of social trouble. This can be a sign of autism or Asberger's syndrome. Before she gets any older, you need to ask the school for help. There should be a district psychologist. In fact, the school district probably should have intervened before this. Sometimes children with disabilities need psychological support and counseling. Do not wait another day. Good luck. My son could not read body language in elementary school and got into all sorts of situations. He has learned by example and experience what certain facial expressions and body postures mean. He has also learned to look into someone's eyes when talking to them. Also has your daughter's vision and hearing been checked to make sure that is normal? This could compound the problem of effective communication. Just trying to think of as many possibilities as I could. Good luck. One more thing. Does your daughter have empathy for others? Can she feel sad or happy for someone else? Sometimes the lack of empathy can cause children and adults to behave without regard to other's feelings. Have you asked her how she feels and what she thinks other people feel about her behavior? Example, calling other people names or making rude noises or gestures. Does she do this to other children? Do they do this back to her? This type of dialog might be helpful. I think a third party assessment of her total situation, physical, mental, and social is the first step and then you can have a plan to help her grow to be the kind of person people want to be around.

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