Let the Baby Cry???!!!!

OK this is only my opinion, but I say as long as it's only being used for sleeping and not all day long,I wouldn't worry about it. Let the kid have his pacifier. You don't need to start thinking about taking it away until he is one year old.

: )

Let him have it! He will soon learn to find it on his own. Both of my boys had one and BOTH decided when they were done. My oldest abandoned his well before age 1; my youngest around 14 months. I only let my kids have it for napping, not running around the house, while reading stories, etc. Personally, I think that helped my kids to decide that they didn't need them.

Good luck!

absolutely let him have it! He is only 6 months old, & a preemie at that.....worry about it later. It doesn't make him spoiled, for one. He needs a transitional object. Most adults still have one.....it just comes in a different form (like smoking or coffee, of a soda/pop (you get the point))

Enjoy your new baby!

I'm a mom of two boys, ages 4 and 1, and while neither one of them took a pacifier I have some good advice for you. The older a baby gets, the more difficult a bad habit is to break. Of course, I don't think having a pacifier at this age is a bad habit (I tried to give it to my children and they wouldn't take it!), but not being able to self soothe is something that becomes a problem as they get older - bigger - more capable. And if you think letting him cry is bad, just wait until he's saying your name!! :) I've been through it - I spoiled my second son due to bad reflux and by month 5 I was so sleep deprived, reflux or not this child had to learn to fall asleep by himself. It took two nights - five hours (yes 5 divided by two is 2 1/2 hours each night!) to get him right. The longer you wait the longer they'll cry. But I got a good book on the subject, built up my confidence, and in my case (since he spit up and would choke on it) I just pulled up a chair and sat by his side until he went to sleep. I was with him all the way. With my first son, who did not have reflux, I left the room. I just googled the subject matter on line and purchased an online book that made sense to me. Good luck! Sounds like you're doing a great job!

OMG. He's 2 months old for pete's sake. Give him whatever he needs and or wants. And at this age, a baby's wants are their needs. Don't listen to anyone who will tell you differently. It's his comfort and security. Sucking is a really important part of being a baby. My kids never liked pacifiers and I'm glad but I have an 8 month old who would prefer to stay latched on to me all night. They all have their own needs and wants. You are not creating a monster or a spoiled brat. Being spoiled is buying your kids anything they want. You can't spoil them with too much love and attention. Hope your little preemie is doing well and good luck to you.

Okay so first I allow my kids to have their pacifier until they are almost five. As long as it doesn't screw up their teeth (which I've spoken to my dentist who says that as long as there aren't any permenant teeth it's okay, hence the 5 year thing. My second had slight buck teeth from the pacifier but only a month of not having it her teeth aligned themselves and no more buck teeth.) Okay so at 4 months that is when you begin to "spoil" your children by continuing bad habits and behaviors. For example they need to be able to start sleeping through the night without eating at this point give or take a little. The pacifier is a security thing and comfort thing for him. You are not around so he transfers that onto his pacifier. This is okay, this is healthy. At around 4 years then they have to start letting go, but you have a long way until then. However, taking the pacifier away from him now isn't bad either. You will teach him to comfort himself in other ways and you won't have to fuss with a pacifier or worry that you have one all the time or go into his room to put it back in his mouth when it falls out. They don't really get the coordination to find it and put it back in their mouths until about 8-10 months, at night time that is or during naptime. If you do let him cry it out which I have done for teaching the kids to sleep through the night without feedings it is best to start with only a few minutes of crying. So you would allow him to cry for 3 minutes and then you would go in, calm him down WITHOUT picking him up, but by rubbing his back or singing to him. Then after he is calm you leave again and you can do 3 minutes again, go in calm him then you leave, the next time you will extend the time to five minutes and so on until he falls asleep or stops crying on his own. This isn't an easy process by any means. It takes about three days/nights to accomplish but if you keep doing it and stay consistent the baby will learn what he needs to do.

I am a mom of triplets who were preemies (not as preemie as yours), but one of them came home from the hospital hooked on a pacifier as well. It is hard with an "extended stay" compared with other newborns. Because I had triplets, it was hard for me to meet the needs of all of them if they cried at the same time. The one who was hooked was also the smallest and so it was easy to feel sorry for her. My pediatrician (who had been a neonatologist) told me that as long as they are not sucking on the pacifier all day- which burns energy for growing they need to catch up- not to worry about it for the first 4-6 months. I used adjusted age somewhat- mine were 3 months early- but still tried to wean her by 5 months adjusted age. My pediatrician told me she wouldn't cry more than 30-45 min. Well, she could cry 1 1/2 hours because she also had sensory issues we did not know about at the time. It practically broke my heart. But I will tell you, it did work once she was a bit older. Feel free to email me if you want more details. Good luck- no one said being a mom was easy! But- you deserve a big congratulations. Preemies are tough!
Edit: To clarify- I don't mean weaning them off the pacifier completely by 5 months, but just that they should begin to learn to self-soothe. It is too early at this point for them to self-soothe. I agree with the moms that said- your baby's wants are their needs at this early stage.

I wouldn't worry about it at this point. If he's 3, that's a different story. Also, you can't really spoil him at this point, babies need what they need and it's really more detrimental in my opinion, to make him so upset. None of my 4 kids liked the pacifier, but I have one who loves his fingers and at 21 months, I am more worried about that habit, because you can't take the fingers away :)! Just let him lead, and you both will be happier.

I would re-think the "adamant about not spoiling." Meeting a child's needs (both emotional and physical) is not spoiling. Babies don't ask for things that aren't needs.

I'll never forget my friend/therapist who said, "It's easier to help a person who's overly attached to their parent than a person who didn't have that with their parent."

Check out Dr. Sear's books on Attachment Parenting. They may be enlightening.

I have two kids (5 and 2). Both love(d) their paci. We only allowed it in bed. They had to put it back into their crib when we picked them up. My son who is now 5 gave it to Binkyland (book) to become Tigger - google binkland and you'll find the book. He was two at the time and it was a simple way to get rid of it. My daughter just turned two in Aug. and still has it in bed. She knows that she will not move to a big girl bed until she can give hers to Binkyland.

At 6 months old (2 months) your child needs what ever he needs to get through life. It is your job to teach him (later) to give up the paci. I would think you are spoiling your son if they were 4 or 5 and still walking around with it in his mouth, but if you put limitations on things...they won't become spoiled! Don't overthink this... there will be much harder decisions to worry about down the road. Take this one in stride and just know what you need to do during naps and be thankful it doesn't happen at night!

Another trick...we had a crib tent from my son who climbed out. We put it on my daughters crib at 6 months old and it kept the paci in the bed so we didn't have to get up in the night when she couldn't find it. We also kept 4 or 5 of them in the crib at once. This will help when they start rolling around.

Finally, doctor's say pacifers help prevent SIDS. Another fantastic reason to keep it up!

As a preemie, your son needs you to be MORE responsive, not less. If you are going to give him a paci then GIVE it to him! Would you stop or delay feeding him because he cries when he is hungry? As you have already been told, it helps your son organize himself and is obviously soothing to him. Babies have a tremendous need to suck, espcially those who are not breastfed on demand. How else is this need going to be met? He is an infant and when they tell you "not to worry about it" that means you need to reprioritize and worry about comforting and taking care of your childs need. Please do not parent by some arbitrary standard that includes not spoiling. If you are worried about the paci becoming a bad habit MUCH later then comfort him (yes, YOU comfort HIM, not the other way around) in other ways such as holding, rocking, babywearing, singing, etc. Get help if you can to give yourself a break if your son is very needy. Sorry to be so harsh but you have a tremendous job ahead of you raising a preemie and I would hate to see someone start off on the wrong foot. Good luck to you!

Try throwing a few extra pacifiers in the crib?

Our dentist said no worries...all kids use or used it. My oldest gave it to the dentist when she was 3 1/2..traded it for a present I had dropped off earlier. Her teeth went back to normal in just 6 months. My 2nd will be giving her plug to the dentist on her next visit and trade hers in. And my 3rd will do the same when he is 3 1/2.
I would not worry, enjoy the peace
PS...they only use it at bed times..no other times

You'll get lots of differing opinions on this one. I would let him have that paci until he's at least one. My first child didn't use one, my second still does to sleep and he's 18 months. I don't plan on yanking it until he's 2. I don't know a lot about preemie babies but do know sucking is a calming thing for all babies. I'd give it to him whenever he wanted it right now. You will have to deal with the "nightmare" of taking it eventually, but I've heard stories of it being just a couple days from friends that waited until after 2 to do it. Good luck in however you choose to handle this one...there are many more fun decisions to make...ha ha!

Hi! I am a mom of a 1 year old boy and also a developmental therapist. I want you to really understand that there is no possible way you can spoil a child under the age of 1!
If you know what he wants, why would you let him cry? Trust your motherly instincts. You know what is best! Your child is learning to trust or not trust the world around him right now. His only way to communicate his needs are to cry. The sooner you respond to his cries, the less he will cry as well as learn to trust that his needs will be met!
If the pacifier gets him to sleep for his nap, let him have it. Babies can not soothe themselves until four months old (I think). Your baby is only 2 months adjusted. Make sure you use his adjusted age when looking at his development or following what you read. Give him another month or two before making him cry it out without his pacifier.
Remember, he's 2 months old. You have pleanty of time to take the pacifier away from him. Dome babies need the pacifier to soothe themselves. That is why they are made :)

I think all the advice you have gotten is right on. Go with your instinct, that is why we have them. If he cries and it upsets you, sooth him, if you know he needs the paci to self comfort, give it to him. He is your baby and you know his needs best!!