How to Put My Baby to Sleep

Well, my grandmother warned me about rocking my babies to sleep or holding them, lying down with them, etc. She said, "When you're the pacifier, your baby OWNS you!" LOL Well, she was right! I always rocked my first baby, and it was wonderful when he was little, not so wonderful when he was a toddler and I had another child who needed me, etc. It was a hard transition to get him to sleep on his own. With my second, I learned to put him down in his crib, sing to him, pat his back a little but to basically let him feel his body against the mattress, learn to get comfortable on his own, and then fall asleep. I never had any problems with him. We eventually had a little routine of hugs and kisses while he stood in his crib, then laid himself down, and I sang a lullaby. Then I left a music box on or very quiet sleepy-time CD playing in the background, and he always fell right to sleep. I think it's very important to have rocking time and cuddle time, especially with newborns, but it's equally important for children to learn to settle into their beds and fall asleep on their own. If you're afraid that what you're doing may be a problem in the future, try what I did.

These days I have a different sleeping problem with my boys. They're 16, 17 and 18 and they crash their big, full-grown bodies into my sofa and will fall asleep watching the cartoon network on weekends. My family room looks like some sort of frat house! Last weekend I gave 'em a good blast of an air horn to move them up to their rooms. I hope that did the trick! LOL That's life with the man-children!

If that method works for you, then there is nothing wrong with it.

Finding a way to get your child to sleep is often one of the more challenging aspects of being a mom. There is a ton of advice out there. It actually doesn't sound like your routinee is all that bad. It does seem to work.

I personally feel that babies are not meant to be independent at this age. You seemed to have developed a routine that is comforting to your child. I would stick with it. There is no harm in comforting your child to sleep. It makes them feel secure. This is also a nice time to enhance the bond with your daughter.

That sounds pretty good to me. I have twins and one needed to be rocked to sleep till she was alomst 3 each and every night, sometimes two quick rocks, but still if that did not happen she would be up till I did it. Now she likes me to lay in her bed for 5 minutes each night. I wish she did not need that but we get some alone time together which I think is what she has always wanted. My other one just pops the thumb in and sleeps with our dog and she is as happy as can be. So I say Bravo to getting her to sleep and only having her up once a night. Many people struggle to get their kids to bed. You have done a great job and a little extra bonding is always good.

Until last month my daughter always fell asleep being held or nursing. We wanted her to learn to fall asleep on her own so we tried a few techniques until we found one that worked and within 3 nights she was able to fall asleep in her crib. We are still guilty of occasionally holding her until she falls asleep but it is nice to know we have the option to put her in the crib. If you want to, try putting her in the crib awake a few nights and see if it works. If it doesn't then try again in a week or two. It is hard to say if falling asleep next to you will cause a habit since every child is different. Most research says it gets harder to teach a child to fall asleep alone as the child gets older. My daughter only took a few days to transition to the crib. It took my sister 6 years and she started around the same age with my niece. Good luck in whatever you decide. Remember, you know your child best.

I personally let my oldest son fall asleep downstairs when he was a baby and then took him upto bed. He did this until he was almost 2 and we never had a problem with him climbing into our bed. Remember if it's not broke don't fix it. If the routine works for you and her, keep it. You don't wanna have to change things around if you don't actually have to.

I think it's the process that is important. Any change in routine is hard (sometimes as h*** o* you as it is on the baby). The important thing is if you want something to change that you are firm and consistent without appearing angry. My daughter has always been a very good sleeper (earlier on I decided that we would have our "us" time, but it would not be at bed time). But sometime around 13 months we strayed from routine, and my daughter found out if she cried hard and loud enough we would go get her and coddle her. Let me tell you after several months of good rest, to suddenly back at the "I-won't-sleep-unless-you're-right-here" stage was not fun. It took a week, but we finally re-established the routine (it was not fun, just sitting there and listening to her cry for me nearly broke my heart). Now that it is firmly in place again, we don't do any big deviations.

The point is, by going throught the same processes everyday, your child uses those clues to know what comes next. Your child knows he sleeps right after you two sit together like that. You need to subtley change the routine so that eventually you are not his clue to sleep.

J.,

You will/have gotten lots of advice. Everyone has different opinions about parenting, so here's mine...

My son is 12 months old. Until he decided otherwise at around 9 months old, he fell asleep while being held. That was for naps and bedtime. We did not have any kind of routine. Once asleep we would lay him down and that was that. THen around 9 months he started to wake up when we would put him down and be up for a while (sometimes hours) until we were able to get him to sleep again. At that time, we developed a bedtime routine and put him in his crib while still awake. We still sit with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes he still needs physical contact (holding our hand or rubbing his back) other times just being in the room is enough. I do not believe a child this age should be independent at going to sleep yet.

I think what you are doing is fine. It works for you and your family. Like one of the other moms said, each child is different. Your daughter likes the way things are and will let you know if it's not working any more. Many people will tell you that you are spoiling her. I do not agree. I do not think this is possible until they are closer to age 2 when they learn how to deceive and manipulate. Right now, if she wants to be held, then I think she should be held. For more advice similar to my ideas, try www.askdrsears.com. Enjoy every minute with your daughter. They grow up quickly and want to be independent so soon.

J.

J.

Do you need to feed your baby again for her to fall back asleep? If so she might associate the bottle with going to bed, or you with going to bed. If you are comfortable with this being her transition object(s) and it works for you then that is great. But if you want your baby to fall asleep on her own if she wakes in the night try a different sleep transition object. My daughter has a little lamb blanket that she hugs. It took a week but now she sleeps through the night and if she wakes up she goes back to sleep within ten minutes. The first few nights were very hard but now it is great. Whatever you are comfortable with is what is important though. If you like your routine then stick with it, babies pick up on the routines after a few nights. The older the child the longer it takes to change a routine, so if you don't like you current routine, or think that it will become too much as your child grows, the best time to make changes is while your child is young. Hope this helps a bit

J. S

Hi J.,
There are ups and downs to every method out there. What you need to ask yourself is "am I comfotable doing this?". If you are, then it is the right thing to do. It is GREAT that you can put her down after she sleeps and she sleeps. You will eventually have to ease her into falling asleep herself. I took it a bit further and am easing mine into sleeping alone, but I am still there to get her to sleep at night and for some naps. I still like to nurse her to sleep. It does create a prblem that she won't sleep for me unless she nurses (or if she falls asleep moving, like a car). But her dad can get her to sleep no problem. As long as you are redy to deal with transition down the road, you are doing the right thing now. If you decided that you didn't want to wait, you'd have to transition her now. Besides, they grow up so fast! Enjoy the little moments like sleep while you can.
Good luck!

Honesty I just put my son in his crib, kiss him, turn on his cd & leave. I started this at about 6 weeks old b/c I had to return to work at 8 weeks. He is also 7 months old.
I make sure his nightlight is on & the cd & then I go downstairs. If he does cry it's because he's lost his bink, so I usually go back & put it in. Out of 7 nights, that happens like 2.
Occasionally I forget to turn his nightlight on but that doesn't bother him, he falls asleep in the dark.
I NEVER put him to bed with a bottle. He has one either immediately before going in or about 3-2 hrs before. He sleeps through the night, thankfully, goes down about 8 or so & get's up between 6 & 7am.
I am blessed & never take it for granted.
See if she will go in her crib & put herself to sleep.
Get her a Baby Einstein cd to fall asleep to. I think they are like 7 dollars at Target.
Also I bathe him about 40 minutes before he goes down & it helps relax him.
Hope some of the tips help.

That sounds to me like a nice peaceful bedtime routine. I disagree with some people saying it will be harder to break the habit as she gets older. In my experience it becomes easier because they are ready for it. If you want her to learn how to fall asleep on her own, maybe rock her until she is starting to fall asleep then lay her down and gradually rock her for a shorter amount of time. The first year only happens once and there is alot going on so I think it is more about doing what you can to maintain sanity than making sure you don't "create bad habits"