How Do I Help My 3Yr Old Deal with a New Baby Coming

My girls are 2 years a part. A couple of things I did...

1. I made sure that when we brought new things home for the baby we also brought things for her. We did not go over board, things like a coloring book, her favorite snack. We always paid attention to her and showed her what was for her before the things for the baby.

2. We encouraged her in the fact that she was the big sister. We made t-shirts that said big sister, and a onesie that said baby sister with Iron on transfers. We also read a book often about being the big sister.

3. We included her in things like picking out things for the baby. We let her go to baby's r us and pick out a back pack, and let her pick out a baby bag, and threw away her diaper bag. She was the big girl and we packed her a big girl bag when we went out, and we packed the baby bag together. Her and daddy brought the baby bag to the hospital.

4. We allowed her to hold her abd help with bathing and even let her pick out what the baby would wear, and what blanky the baby would take.

5. I think this is the most important. We gave her special time. When the baby was sleeping we would play play doh, or go in the pool. Do things with just her. Daddy would take her to run big girl errends on Saturday. The baby would go to bed before her, and we would read to her at bed time. If you make each child feel special, and instill in them, they can have attention with out acting out it is always a good thing.

The only problem we had was if we tried to ignore the baby sister would be so mad. One morning the 2 year old was watching Barney, and the baby was in the swing crying while we were getting ready to go to church. The 2 year old got the baby out of the swing and was dragging her down the hall so that we would take care of her. She has been a great big sister.

Good Luck.

My daughter was worried the same way about her 3 yr old and a baby due so she tried to get the 3 yr old involved in getting things ready for the new brother. She helped pick out things the baby would need and was constantly reassured that mommies love all there kids, that each one is loved just as much as another. That babies when they are little are totally helpless and need more care that makes mommies alot busier for awhile but she could help take care of baby brother too if she wanted to. With adult supervisionof course. After baby comes, you can place a pilow on her lap and put baby on the pillow and let her hold him for a couple minutes, you may also show her how to hold a bottle to feed him. All these little things like handing you a diaper are helping her ti interact with the new addition and hopefuly make her feel important by helping you with little things. My grand daughter ended up being very protective of her baby brother which was wonderful as he was born a downs baby with many heart defects to be repaired and was in the hospital a long time before he could come home. A nurse asked her if she would like to trade her little brother for something, can't remember what it was, but she said a fllat out NO. Good luck

Well first Congratulations on the baby; what a blessing.
I understand where you are coming from. I had my children very young; 20 with my daughter (6/10/02) and 23 with my son (5/26/05).
My daughter being so young did not understand what was going on, but I tried to get her excited about the baby. I rented a Doppler so she could hear his heartbeat at home. When he was born I was so nervous. I did allow her to help me; which made her feel involved and important. She loved being the big sister! As long as your daughter remembers she is still important, needed, and loved she will welcome the new brother into “her” house. I would recommend making time to spend with her alone after the baby comes. Also remember that although it is a new baby, let her hold him, bathe him, dress him, etc. I would always tell my daughter she was a little mommy. I even got her a baby doll so she could mimic what I was doing with her brother. It was precious to watch her; until she tried to breast feed 
Good Luck!

There are wonderful books out there about being a big sister that helped my daughter tremendously.

i just had my 4th child 4 weeks ago. I have a 8,6 and 3 year old. My 3 year old was our baby until a month ago. We have really tried the whole pregnancy to make sure that he knew that he was going to be the BIG brother and no longer the BABY brother. We had him talk to the belly and sing to the baby in utero.

I made it a big deal to go and buy a special present for the baby from him (the 3 year old). He loved it. We also made sure to have all the kids in their own BIG Brother/Sister shirt so everyone would know how special they were.

Day baby arrived. Had daddy go and bring all of them to the hosptial and change into their shirts. Mommy was not holding baby when they arrived, some one else was. My immediate attention went to the kids especially the 3 year old. We asked if he wanted to hold HIS baby brother. He loved it. I had small gifts for them as the siblings when they arrived. Bought them and took them to the hospital.

At home when people came to visit, we made sure that they paid attention to the kids first especially the 3 year old. Works great!

Now 4 weeks later, there are moments that he acts out for attention and cries a little more. But he is 3. He has special jobs to help with baby by getting me the diapers and helping put on his socks, etc. He loves that he is now the big helper. I remind him that all the things that baby needs mommy to do, i used to do for him and the others.

It will not be as bad as you think. Good luck.

Just keep telling her that you wont' be able to take care of the baby unless she helps!!!! Your doctor can probably direct you to a "new siblings" class if that's your thing.....I would recommend making her feel needed is all.....Simple psychology!

I have a 3 year old that dealt with this same issue. I will tell you it is going to be hard. My baby is now almost 6 months old and within the past one and a half months my 3 year old has FINALLY calmed her behavior a bit. My suggestion is to just make sure to give her a lot of attention. She will press your buttons - more than you will be able to handle - you will have to make sure that you have enough patience to deal with her. Try not to yell too much b/c it will make her behavior worse. Give her the opportunity to help a lot with the baby and set aside 15 minutes a day for her alone. I hope you don't have the problems I did with my daughter and that it goes very smoothly with you. Congrats on your upcoming baby!

Our first son was almost three when we had our second son. We talked about the baby in mommy's belly for a while. We bought the book, I'm a Big Brother (I am sure there is a big sister version)and read it often at night, before bed. When we prepared the baby's room the older son helped. We talked a lot about how the crib and toys were once his, but now he is too big for them and the baby will use them--thanks for sharing with your little brother. When baby was born, the older one visited and helped hold the little one. When the baby came home, our older son received his own little baby doll to care for. In fact, he named the baby doll the same name as our baby. Then, in general, we encouraged lots of kisses, gentle touch, excitement, and love for the new baby. They are very close now. Our older son is always talking about how he loves his baby.
If you involve your daughter so she doesn't feel forgotten, the jealosy may not be a problem--it does depend on the child's personality, though.
Good luck.