How Do I Get My 3 Y/o to Sleep in Her Own Bed!? Help!

Be persistent. She's 3, so she has an awareness of what Mom wants. Hopefully she has some sort of bed time routine, maybe a special book that you get to read her in her bed (and only when she's in bed) and then get a special stuffed animal (or whatever you want) and then it's lights out. If she gets up, tell her it's too early to get up and back to bed. The first couple of nights will be trying, but eventually she'll get the hang of it!
I hope it works out ok...good luck

N.,

My kids always slept with us until they chose to go sleep in their own beds. When they would get too wiggley or sleep too restlessly I always kept a crib mattress either at the side of my bed on the floor, or at the foot of my bed on the floor and we would just move the kid to the small mattress on the floor.

I have 5 boys and they all sleep in their own room now, except for the 23 month old, he still sleeps with me, and I am fine with it.I think the key here is not to make it a battle.

Hi N.,

our 3 year old used to come in ou bed every night around 3 or 4am, what worked for us was the following :
- talk to him during the day and at bedtime saying he's expected to stay in his bed and that we'll bring him back each time to his bed if he comes in the middle of the night (he's allowed to come in our bed when he wakes up in the morning)
- consistently put him back (gently but no discussing, no lights, just saying "you sleep in your own bed, I come and tuck you in", a kiss and good night) in his bed when he joined us at night. The key to avoid a drama/crying was to get up as soon as I heard him coming, because once he was under the covers and cozy it's so much harder for us both to get up.

It's hard to force oneself to emerge quickly enough from sleep and get up especially several times at night but it's very effective. The key is the consistency...

You may also feel guilty that you want/need to sleep better and that your daughter has now "suddenly" to sleep by herself ... Your daughter may feel your mixed feelings, you have to be clear yourself about what you want so you can be clear with your daughter (and not send mixed messages unconsiously).

Good luck !

We had the same problem, and I have heard that it isn't uncommon! The method that has worked best for us is to let our 3.5 year old have one of our dogs sleep in her bedroom with her. It truly seems to comfort her! Other things we've tried include a night light, soft music, a favorite stuffed animal to cuddle...I know that it's hard. Good luck! And congratulations on your baby!

I'm a parenting educator teaching connection parenting methods.... The organization I trained with has two really great articles you should look at and try out. It does take work... but it will WORK...
Check them out here
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html

the two you should look at are both in the H's
Helping young children Sleep
and
Helping children conquer their fears

I've read the responses and just want to "second" those by Angela, Carrie and Faye. I know that what Angela and Faye did worked for me as a child and I have great faith in Jo Frost...if it were me- and since your child is still young...I'd start with Faye's method and eventually move to Jo's.
As I said- I started out in my parents room and I actually remember when they "kicked me out" of bed. I was about four. They told me I was too big and they could not sleep- but I could always come in and sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor. I started every night tucked into my bed and read a story. Then I would awaken and come tiptoe into their room (they told me I had to be super quiet). If I tried to get into their bed, they sprawled out, kicked, rolled over, and "hogged" the bed/covers while acting like they were asleep- making it impossible for me to even fit- so I went to the floor. It took about a week before I realized the floor was no fun-and began to sleep in my own bed for the entire night. They key with this method was I always felt that if I needed to - if I was scared or sick, I could go and sleep on their floor (and sometimes I did) and it made me feel better just knowing it and I felt I had made the choice to be in my own room- not that I was being rejected/banished.
They also started not letting the cat sleep in their room so it would sleep with me- and it worked. That helped get me to stay in my room as well.

Good luck!

We had the same exact problem. What worked for us was we told him that if he slept in his bed every night for a week without coming into our bed, we would take him to Chuck E. Cheese. He almost did it the first week but the next week he did and after that week he no longer was throwing a fit about it or coming into our bed.

We also had this problem with all four of our kids as they grew to big for our bed (or I was pregnant for another one) My husband wanted them in our bed because he was gone all day and I just wanted SLEEP! I would wake up everytime they moved, but it was also very easy to nurse them in the middle of the night! Anyways, we tried the method used by the Super Nanny,(Jo Frost) where you sit by their bed with your head down, with the side of your face to them and do not talk or interact with them at all. Each night you move closer to the door way and eventually out of sight. The first three nights are the hardest but it gets easier. Stick to your guns or else they know that they can get to you and push your buttons! They learn fast and we as parents need to be firm and not back down. This will also be beneficial to them as they grow up. Look at the long term benefits. Building confidence. In the morning give them praise on how well they did the night before. Also if they get up in the middle of the night get up and put them back into their bed with out giving them eye contact or talking to them. If they come back in again keep doing it until they stay there the rest of the night. You may have to do this many times the first couple of nights, but eventually they'll stay. All of our kids go to bed in their own rooms and stay in their beds. Everyone gets good sleep now! We do still get an occasional visit in the middle of the night(because of a bad dream) but I still take them back to their bed. In fact I sent one back to bed on his own last night.
Good Luck
Hang in there!
C.

A little about me:
Stay-at-home, homeschooling mom of 4(11-B,9-B,7-B,5-G) Like to read self help and parenting books, love to teach and see my kids learn, love horses, nature, traveling and everything about the west, cowboys and have a passion for old log cabins and rustic things.

i went through this also. we did this and it seemed to work....'gradually' put her in her own room. put the crib mattress on your floor and slowly move it night by night toward the door. <with her on it lol> eventually making it to her room. also once she is asleep you should put her in her own bed so that she is waking in there. hope it works for you too.

You need her to sleep in her own bed, or you want her to sleep in her own bed? Those are different questions, you see.

If there is not sufficient space in the bed you're using, perhaps you need a bigger bed.

If you need more thrashing room in the night, perhaps she needs a small bed beside yours.

If she's waking you by removing all the covers, she needs blankets of her very own.

There are multiple problems people experience in sleeping with others (at any age)... each of those problems has its own selection of possible solutions, not necessarily related to having a separate 100 square feet of space behind a door.

N.; yes been there done that, ahahahah, any way , apparently she starts out in her bed, and comes in your night after a nightmare, this is a time when a child needs their parents comfort, and you can do this to comfort her yet not loose your bed as space, especially when its probably all ready difficult to sleep with a little one inside , this is what we found effective, always start them in their room, and do the bedtime routine, however there are times they need the parents comfort in the middle of night, so we put a small matress under our bed, all made up with everything needed, when the child came into the room, we comforted them and put them on the pull out mattress under our bed, then i could hold their little hand or pat their back and both of us could or all three of us could get back to sleep, this worked well for us and our three kids, and they eventually stay in their rooms, all night, but sometimes they just need that comfort, and even now that they are older, we are there for them in their time of need, (but they dont need that matrees under bed anymore) ahahhaa any way try it, and they find the comfort they need, and you get your sleep, sometimes as a kid with nightmares, you are terribly scared, and you need that comfort, if you show you are there for them when younger they might just come to you when older and always be their freind, D. s

You could try putting a little place to sleep on the floor in your room. Adults don't sleep all alone in a room away from their most favorite people..why is it in our culture to ask our little ones to do it? It really is ok, who cares what anyone else thinks! We have three children (grown now) and they were in and out of our bed and room for quite a time. By the time the youngest was about 2, I put the three of them in a full size bed...across the short way and they all slept together like puppies. What matters is that everyone gets sleep, not where you sleep.

When our kids start going thru their "nightmare gotta have mommy and daddy stage" We always put them back.They climb into our bed, we ask them whats the matter, then after they tell us we walk them back to their bed and tuck them back in. Do not turn on the lights, just in, tuck, kiss, out.
Our daughter also loved having our cat or dog in her room. The good news for us is that since our kids all share a room our 2nd climbs in bed with our oldest when he gets the scaries.
As an older sister myself I remember my siblings climbing their freezing cold feet into my bed in the middle of the night.
Every person goes thru it, but you just have to make her go back to bed. And no bed in the world is a cozy as mommy and daddys pre warmed bed.
It will take time, and she will cry about it at first. But if you don't figure this out now you'll have to deal with it sometime...
Good luck.

We had the same problem and we couldn't sleep with them in our beds either. One method I used through the nightmare stage and many other 'need to sleep with mommy and daddy stages' was putting a sleeping bag under my bed. They were told that they could not come in our bed because it kept us from sleeping, but they could pull the bag out next to the bed and sleep there! It worked. They always knew that it was there for them, and it got us through the hard nights. They eventually outgrew it and the sleeping bag went back to their own rooms. Sweet dreams for everyone!

Bribery worked for us! Tell her if she sleeps in her room all night she'll get a surprise, then if she does it, any little thing will do, dollar store item, or stickers. Then after a few continuous nights of success, go to 3 nights in a row and she'll get a surprise. Then, when she gets to a week at a time, do a big surprise, a stuffed animal or something she really likes. By then she should be comfortable with staying in her bed. By the way, the nightmare thing is probably just a fib!
She will probably regress every few months, but just make sure you don't let it go for more than one or two nights at a time.

Good luck!
S. K

This is a very sensitive and imaginative age. You'll just have to work through it with her, maybe using some kind of chart or reward system. My daughter programmed a doll to say things to calm her daughter's fears and it sometimes worked. I know you can do this with a stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear, and there may be other places you can get a comfort toy that will record your voice as well. This may take awhile. I wouldn't put too much emphasis on her needing to grow up to make it easier with the new baby. She still feels like she needs you a lot, and she does! It'll all work out over time. Try to be patient. she may need to go between your room and hers for quiite awhile. Good luck!

Hah, we both put up help me get some sleep questions with in 24 hours of each other :-) I am really no help in your situation I just havn't been through it yet, but I remember my mom used to make my brother cry it out inhis bed/room when he was little. She did the same thing how you got Kenzie a new bedroom set she got him a fun car bed hopeing he would stay there. Didn't work. lol. Talk to you soon, hope you get some good responses!