4 Y/o That Won't Sleep in Her Room

I have a little stained glass snail light on a timer in my son's room. We tell him that when it's on, he has to stay in his room (except for bathroom and emergencies). Most of the time this works. If he does come to my bed at three a.m. I quietly escort him to his room and comfort him back in his own bed. Usually he goes right back to sleep, but if he protests my leaving him, I explain that mommy needs her rest, too and he has to stay in his bed until the snail light goes off. (I have also heard of moms using a clock radio--when the music comes on, you can get out of bed...)
I just try my best to be consistent with this. Good luck.

This is just a phase. My oldest slept with us until she started kinder. and my youngest 4, will be 5 in a couple of weeks still sleeps with us. I think of it this way, we have them for such a short time before they don't want to have anything to do with us. And if she's already starting out in her own bed you're half way there.

As long as you let her, she will come in no matter what. It has to be a rule that you stick to with illness as the exception. If you make it a rule then it's something she has to follow, not depending on whether Mom wants me there or not, etc.

My daughter did the same thing. I was just too tired to put her back to bed and stopped noticing that she was even in our bed until I wake up with her hogging my pillow. I started a sticker chart. For each night that she stayed in her bed she could put a princess sticker on the chart. After three stickers she got a treat. This took a couple of night to finally "catch" her staying in her bed one night for her to get that first sticker. After she got the first treat she was hooked. The habit is now broken and I have my bed back.

Do you give her something to sleep with? If not, give her a baby-doll or a stuffed animal and when she says she's lonely tell her that when she leaves them (it) alone, it gets lonely too so she should stay and show it that she loves it and doesn't want it to be lonely. If she wants to bring everything into your bed, well, your bed is not big enough for everyone, so she must return to her bed.

I have gone through that same thing and still do on periodically. One idea is to take her out and let her pick out a lovey stuffed animal to keep her company. Have a talk with her about Mommy and daddys bed being for Mommy and Daddy to sleep in. Then comes the hard part...every time she gets in your bed, carry her back to bed. If you can hear her before she gets to your bed, head her off and take her back, don't talk to her. You may want to try a potty stop on the way, my daughter often wakes in the night because she has to potty. I didnt read other posts but was hoping no one said use a baby gate, my feeling is the more secure your child feels that she can get to you if she needs to, will make it less necessary to do so. How bad would of be if she actually needed you and couldn't get to you. Good luck!

This is a phase she is going through.
She is waking up and not able to put herself back to sleep. You just need to teach her how to comfort herself. When she comes to your room, do not speak with her, do not turn on any lights, just walk her back to bed, tuck her in with her "Lovey" (favorite stuffed toy, blanket, doll)kiss her good night and tell her she just needs to sleep till morning.

You may want to consider a sound machine... They have a selection of sounds, White noise, rain, waves of water, tropical sounds. It seems to sooth them through the night.

At one point we took our daughter to purchase one of those super soft "body pillows" at Costco. She loved the softness and said that she liked the way she could keep warm with it when she hugged it.

Our daughter is an only child when she was young she used to say she was lonely. I would ask her "would you like a brother or a sister?" She would answer, "Oh, I am not THAT lonely!"

We put a timer on our 4 y/o (now 5 y/o) daughter's lamp so that it turned on in the morning at the time we felt it would be appropriate for her to start her day and trained her to stay in bed until the light came on. Worked like a charm! This way when she does wake early or gets up to go to bathroom she has a visual cue to go back to bed and back to sleep. We are all getting more sleep. Hope you find a solution that works for you!

I somewhat understand your frustration, my sister has a 5 year old daughter and she too doesn't have siblings and does the same thing and has since she was about 3. They have gone to the extreme of seeing a psychologist about it, because they were at their witts end... The psychologist gave them 3 choices: 1. being very firm and taking her back to her room every single night, which cause may sleepless nights, because they won't go back willingly and it is a fight. 2. locking her in her room, which can also cause sleepless nights and panic at that age. 3. putting a little mattress, maybe the one from her old crib, or my inlaws got my older son this neat little inflatable chair that converts to a little mattress/sleeping bag.. Put something like that in your room wherever you want, and when she comes in, that is where she has to sleep... That is what my sister does, and it makes everything so much easier. Her daughter knows to go straight there and not in their bed, sometimes they don't even know she has come in..

Good luck, it is very very hard..... J.

It's a phase! I think it's horribly traumatic for your own mommy to lock you in your room at night when you're lonely or scared like one person said to do. My 4 year old comes in our bed most nights which is annoying but what am I going to do, tell her the coziest, most reassuring place on this earth for her is off limits? In the perspective of a lifetime it's really not that long and I know she'll grow out of it. It's more important to me that she's emotionally healthy and well adjusted in life. I think the sleeping bag by the bed idea is a good one too.

When she comes in walk her right back to her bed. After a few nights of this, she will get the picture that she's not going to be allowed to sleep with you.

my daughter is 4 years old aswell and does the samething.i of course dont mind her being in our bed,but the hubby is TIRED of it!!she will not sleep in her bed at all,and even if we lay her in her bed when she falls she wakes up early morning hours and comes to our bed.we have an extra fold out matress,and we just made a bed on the floor for her...she was okay with it at first and excited,but now she wakes up and still makes her way on our bed...lol!!she is determined she is going to sleep with us...i know its a comfort zone to her,and i have told my husband its just a phase.....but he doesnt like it to much!!!

continue to put her back in her own bed. Our DS is very habit forming. If we give in to him. He will want it every night. Had to let him cry a few times. Wasn't long and he was back asleep. Kids know what they can get away with.

My 4 y.o. daughter does the same thing! This has been going on for several months. We tried putting her back to bed for several weeks, but then I was just exhausted. So we got her a sleeping bag which she loves taking her naps in and put it on the floor of our room with a pillow. We don't mind if she sleeps on the floor in the middle of the night and she thinks of it as her cosy place. She doesn't come to our room every night, just a couple nights a week. We just don't get any sleep if she is in the bed with us as she kicks and moves around so much. She says she comes to our room because she is lonely, scared, etc. I know it is just a phase. You could also try a reward chart and giving her rewards for staying in her room all night. (One of my friends did this with her daughter). I guess it's just what you are comfortable with. If you want her to stay in her room, I guess like anything, be consistent. For us, I decided it wasn't a big deal and maybe she needed to be closer to us to feel comforted.

Hi guys. I know this is traumatic for both parent and child. And if you are okay with your daughter sleeping in your room til 8 or 9 then go ahead and let her. However, if you prefer to have her sleeping in her own room then, as mentioned below, you have to be firm. My daughter is 5 and we went through a difficult stage when we moved to a new home where our room is down and hers is up. She would wake up crying several times a night and I was concerned about all of us not getting enough sleep plus it affected her behavior. Although our daughter slept with us (in a little "bed") when she was a baby but we didn't want her sleeping with us at 3-4 years old. Instead we continue using the baby monitor and tell her if she needs us she can call out and we will hear her. We also continually assure her that there is no reason to be afraid, monsters are pretend and that all the pretend monsters we know are nice (i.e. cookie monster, elmo, etc.). Sometimes it's difficult to be firm, especially when it's late and your tired, but as long as you let her sleep in your bed she's going to. Goodluck and Godbless!

We had that problem and we put a pallet in our room on the floor. At least that way my husband and I could get some sleep. Eventually he started staying in his bed all night. We just took it up a couple of weeks ago and he has been fine.

If you can continue to sleep when she comes in, let her. Just move over and give her the outside of the bed. That way she is not whirling around in the middle. We had a family bed and both of our kids made a natural progression to their own rooms by age 8 at the latest. If you are willing, make some modifications to your room where you have a space for her. We too started our kids off in their rooms and when they came into our room in the middle of the night, it was not disruptive because they had their own space. Hope this helps.

Hello, my son was the same way so I know your pain. My advise is to find something that you can do for her that she feels will keep her company. Because for me it was a puppy (not my first choice) but he agreed that if he had a puppy that would reside in his room he could sleep there. My son is 7 now and we have had this puppy for a 1yr and 1 month and he has not slept in my room in over a year. Unless he's sick and I invite him. I hope that this helps in some way.

a pet? My girls don't like to be alone in a room either. My oldest cried herself to sleep every night at her door (which I locked from the outside.) It was heartbreaking but I didn't know what else to do. When we had our third child and I moved #2 in with #1, she was fine!

Maybe if you get a dog or cat that would like to snuggle with her at night she'd be ok. Some might suggest having her pick out new room decor but that never worked for us.

S., mom to 5