Getting Baby Back in Her Bed

I know how you feel. My daughter is 3 & still occasionally sneaks into our bed to snooze, though she's smart enough now to do it after were good & out so we don't notice until morning ;) my husband is of the mind that she should be in her own bed, & I agree but I also happen to think that she'll only be young once & in 20 years i'm going to wish she would still want to sleep with me at night, so why not let her now? She's gonna grow up soon & she won't ever be little again & it breaks my heart bc were soooo close now! I figure that I can always catch up on my sleep later. I won't have this opportunity to snuggle with my little girl so I'm going to take advantage of it :)

Good luck! Go take a nap!!!

my daughter did the SAME thing. I finally had to let her cry it out, she would wake up every 2 hours with out fail. It took 1 or 2 rough nights but she did it and now she sleeps better than my 4 year old. I used the 15 min rule, go in and comfot every 15 min. I know it is an enormous amount of time but it worked. good luck. and SHE WILL STILL LOVE YOU!

There is a great book out there that will give you advice for all ages, and make you feel better about the actions that you take. It is called How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It is papreback with a red cover. I recommend it highly! Good luck. :)

Hi there, I know exactly how you feel because I went through it too. You know you need to let her stay in her bed and yes she is gonna cry and fuss and whine and whatever else she needs to do to get you to come back in her room and get her. She knows you will come get her and she will continue to do this until you show her this is not what we do. Of course, she will still love you. You and your husband are the most important things in her world and her love is unconditional, as yours is for her. This isn't about abandoning her or anything of the sort, this is about allowing that sweet child to get good sleep she desperately needs. That's it, that's all. My pediatrician is a BIG advocate of children sleeping in their own beds. Having said that, he has told me, if he (I have a son) is sick, let him sleep with you, but just know after he is well you are going to have about a weeks struggle to make him realize it is back to his bed now. Hope this helps. Be strong and the good mommy you are and it will work out fine. Remember, bad mommies don't worry about whether their kids love them or not!

I highly suggest the good nite light! http://www.goodnitelite.com/index.php

My daughter loved it and we starte it around 18 months...she thought it was so cool to see the moon come on and know it was bedtime. Maybe using this in conjuction with a "fav" doll or toy and a behavior chart and every night she stays in "her bed" she gets a check mark or star and then after so many she gets a reward. You could even start with "hours"...maybe rewarding her for staying in her bed till midnight...then move it to 2:00am...etc...and then finally moving it to all night! Does that make sense?

The moon really made my little one LOVE her room...we sang "I see the Moon and the Moon sees Me, God Bless the Moon and God Bless Me...Please let the light that shines on me shine on the ones I love."

I know its hard to let her cry it out...and I'm not suggesting that unless you are up for it. We did that for a time but also had to comfort our children when doing that...we couldn't just let them go for an hour. We'd let her cry for 5 minutes and then go in an comfort without taking her out of bed saying
It's night night honey, you're safe, we love you...pat her back and walk out"...then wait 10 minutes and would go in and comfort if she was still crying, then 15 etc...if you want to read that method its in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth - and it is highly recommended...several great solutions!

Good luck...this will pass! : )

I haven't delt with this yet but I got this advice from someone else and plan on using it if I ever need to and I thought you would appreciate some options. They said to lie down next to the bed (possibly on an air mattress)for a night or two just the let them know you are there and the room is safe. After a few nights start moving the mattress toward the door and then eventually right outside the door - that way when she wakes up she will know you are there. Then eventually you can find your way back to your bed. Again, I don't know if it will work and it certainly won't provide the restful nights sleep you are seeking in the next few days but it may be another option for you. Good luck.

One thing that worked for us during a similar phase was to buy a doll my daughter really loved. We made a huge deal about getting it. When it was time for bed, we told her that "Baby" really wanted to sleep in her bed and didn't want to sleep anywhere else. When my daughter woke up to try to move, we'd remind her that "Baby" was to stay in her bed because she didn't like sleeping with anyone else but her. She was torn between coming to our bed and staying with her precious doll. The doll eventually won (we were firm on "Baby" staying in her bed at night.) It took a little work (and manipulation) but it worked for us.

What about considering an option aside from her all in her bed and her all in your bed? What about making a bed on the floor next to yours or at the bottom of your bed where she can come in at night (is she in a toddler bed or a crib?). Or move her crib/bed next to yours and side car it? You could even move her into your room before you go to bed to avoid the midnight wake up call if that is the major factor interrupting your sleep. I think all children have different night needs and I don't think it means she's broken or needs to be broken. She will not be in your room forever and I think there are creative solutions that can help you all get a good night's sleep. Can you think about the reasons why you didn't like sleeping in your own room alone at night? Perhaps those are some of the same reasons your daughter prefers the company of another. Also, I think 15 months is still very young. Perhaps working with a different solution for a few months will increase her feelings of security and then she may want to or just happen to end up sleeping through the night all by herself in her room.

Unfortunately, the only real solution will be to let her cry it out. This happened to me only it was with twins. They were both sick for a few weeks and I kept getting up to comfort them and sometimes rock them to sleep. Well, after they were healthy again, they kept waking up and I kept soothing them. After a couple of months of this, I was a wreck (hubby travels for his job and isn't home much). I finally asked our pediatrician and he told me that to keep my sanity and health I would have to let them cry. It only took 2 nights. They were back to sleeping thru the night and I started to feel human again.

Hi S.,

We went through this situation last week. With my little one...when she cried...I would stand by her crib, stroke her once or twice and keep repeating that it's okay. She would stand up and resist and at that point I would say I loved her and leave. She would fall asleep in 15 mins and then wake up and cry again. But I wouldn't go the next time or the subsequent times. We did this dance for 3 to 4 nights and then she stopped waking up.

I would say listen to everyone but find a strategy that suits your child's disposition. Good luck.

You are a good mother. There is no guilt in getting some sleep. It will help you give more to your little one when you're both awake.

It will be rough for a few nights, but you'll both get through it and no one will be any worse for the wear. One thing that I was surprised worked for us was to tell my son, who is the master of bedtime excuses, tactics and delays, "Goodnight, I love you. I won't be coming back to your room until the morning. See you then." Close the door and walk away (and mean what you said). You can tell a pain/emergency cry from an attempt to get you in there. I was surprised that my son, who can come up with a million reasons for us to stick around in his room, etc respected the fact that I told him out right. Perhaps tell your daughter, "You're sleeping your bed tonight. I will come get you in the morning." Maybe she won't even try. If she does, just repeat it from outside her room, "You're sleeping in your bed tonight. I'll come get you in the morning."

L.

My first two babies slept through the night with ease at 5 & 6 weeks old. The last one did not do so til she was 20 months old! She had some medical problems and I knew she was our last and my husband and I could not bear to hear her cry so I went in night after night, first nursing, later rocking and walking, later just laying her back down and patting her bottom til she went to sleep. I was exhausted!! Finally I read that children need to Learn their own way back to sleep. Whatever that is for the individual child. I then realized she wasn't learning it for herself because I was providing all the ways! As hard as it was we just had to let her cry it out a few nights til she learned it. Wish I'd let her cry at 10 weeks or so, not 20 months! I know when they're sick they get off schedule but I do believe its true that we all need to learn how to go back to sleep, and why put it off? Hope this helps. She is 26 now with 2 babies of her own and still my darling!Side note- Her dad traveled a lot and she slept with me sometimes when he was out of town (a lot of times) This began at maybe age 5, and continued til she was 18! Finally my snoring made her go back to bed! Kept asking her over the years when she was going to give it up (being the youngest she always wanted sleep overs etc because was kindof raised alone, the others were 7&8 years older. She is married now and finally has someone to sleep with every night. Someone who doesn't snore and loves her to sleep with him and never asks when she is going to grow out of it!

My son had 1-2 ear infections a month and we would be up all night until we put him in bed with us or in a playpen in our room. Then we put him in his own bed (around 14-15 months)and he slept through the night. It was wonderful. Well, needless to say he started not sleeping through the night again. We moved to another house and decided that this was going to be the last night to sleep with us (once everything was put away). We would get a bath, brush our teeth, and then I told him that I would read two books to him (they were bedtime stories) and then he had to go to bed. This worked. He did cry for the first two night for maybe 30 minutes but that was it. My son was like your daughter and would not quit until we came and got him. After doing this it has been soo much better. I put him to bed after a shower and brushing his teeth. He may say that he wants me but I tell him that big boys don't sleep with their mommies and he is fine. He goes to sleep in maybe 5 minutes after I put him in bed. Every once in a while on the weekends we do let him sleep with us but not very often because we don't want him to think he can do this all the time. It has helped tremendously.
A.

You and your little one will be fine! I had a lot of anxiety about sleep training my son, but he is a happy, well-adjusted little boy who has no fear what so ever about going to sleep in his room. Crying is not something to fear, its just how your child expresses her frustration. You'll have a rough night or two, but then you will all start getting better sleep. Good luck!