Seeking Sleep After 19 Months!!!

Updated on June 03, 2008
D.M. asks from Huntsville, AL
81 answers

I have a 19 month old that has MAYBE slept through the night a TOTAL of 5 times! He wakes up 3-5 times a night crying for us. HELP!? Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

He has been off of the bottle since he was 10 months old. I feed him dinner and then he gets a snack before he goes to bed. He sleeps in his own bed, in his own room with an ocean wave playing. I do not want him in my bed, I cannot sleep at all when he is in bed with me.

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R.O.

answers from Topeka on

Some children don't sleep through the night until they are 4 or 5. Try feeding him a very heavy meal (pasta, rice, etc.) If there is something specific he wants when he wakes up like water, leave him with a sippy cup of water.

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P.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi D.,
My daughter did the exact same thing. She was almost 9 months and still waking like she did when she was an infant. My doctor suggested that we put her in her crib at night let her cry for 5 mins and then go in, not picking her up, and let her know we were there. Then leave and the next time wait 10 mins and then wait longer and longer each time. It only took 3 nights and she was sleeping on her own! You should try it, it just might work!!!

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T.

answers from Jackson on

Hi, I have always used the co-sleeping method. I have five children and it worked with them all. Dr. Sears has a great book about it!! The baby can get his sleep and so can mommy!

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S.L.

answers from Birmingham on

Help is just what I was thinking too.D.,I have been through this many times and I know how hard it is,trust me.I really feel for you.I don't know who said to let the poor little baby cry for so long what did this gain for either of you-nothing.God gave us a way to signal for help and that is crying,yelling etc.The hard part is finding out what is wrong.Maybe baby needs more time with you or talk to the caregiver and see what works for them,surely they don't let baby cry all day.I had to get up and confort mine anyway I could.Are you trying to ween off something? Maybe it is just too lonely in there all by yourself.Crying til you puke is horrible for all of you.It probably will take a while and a lot of sleepless nights to help this but the people who tell you to close the door and just let them cry it out,even drs. can't know how it makes you and baby feel.Maybe some motrin at bedtime will help.Teething hurts,maybe the motrin for babies will help ease the pain.There are so many reasons for this baby to cry and you just have to help baby and you.Get your husband to take a turn some nights.Separation anxiety is another.Why should baby be all alone when you two have each other and you are adults.They don't understand why.We went with the family bed and believe me.........not a one of my children sleep with me now and haven't for years.It's win-win. Read some books on family bed I think you will like it and I know baby will. I'll pray for you and your little one.I sure hope this helps. S.

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S.P.

answers from Knoxville on

When my 7 year old was just a baby he would cry all the time I would rock and rock but nothing seemed to work so finally I called my aunt and she told me to hold him up to my breast and see if that would work and can you believe that it actually worked and I also sang to him all the time but I would not let him cry and cry I mean some is alright to strengthen their voice but not all the time that is too sad to do that to a baby.

Thanks S. R Patrick

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S.T.

answers from Atlanta on

D.,
Does he use a pacifier? Do you think he may be dropping it and crying for you to put it back in? If so, try putting extra pacifiers in the crib and during the day, teach him how to find them. Has he always slept in his crib? Naps and at night? What is your routine for bedtime/naps? Maybe establishing a routine would help? I guess I could maybe give more suggestions if I knew more from you. Have you read "Secrets of The Baby Whisperer"? She has suggestions for helping a baby sleep through the night without letting them cry. Also "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". I read both of them, and they have some good advice. You will need to pick and choose what you think will work for you, though. Hope I helped at least a little!

S.

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A.B.

answers from Knoxville on

I have a 22 month old and a 4 year old, the oldest one had night terrors until recently(still has nightmares or talks in her sleep some) and the other would not sleep through the night after she was off the bottle either. I put some stuffed animals in the bed with her and let her cry it out and after about three nights she sleeps better than my four year old now! I also try to keep my bedtime routine the same and about 15-30 minutes before bedtime I make them calm down and have "down time" so they are not all hyped up before they go to bed. We have been getting the best sleep in the past 6 months than we have been getting for the past four years!

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S.

answers from Augusta on

D.,
As a mom and a peds/NICU nurse, if a baby is not sleeping there's usually a reason....
My son was born with reflux and although he was treated with Zantac and Regaln he never slept through the night or took naps. But some of the symptoms are spitting up/gagging and crying "like something hurts" and unconsolable. Most parents get told their children have colic, which research has shown is usually some degree of reflux...Have you noticed him playing and having to stop to swallow, or can't catch his breath --- refluxer's do NOT always "spit-up" it can come up, but not out which means it hurts and they can't breath. Sneezing, hiccups constant mucous in the nose --- especially in the morning are some of the other signs.Laying flat can cause the symptoms to be worse, hence the crying when put down to sleep.
Anyway my son was two when he was switched to prevacid and it was the first time in two years he slept through the night or took a nap that lasted more than 30minuts.

If you feel this might be a reason for your sons sleepless nights, there is ALOT of research available to support/diagnose reflux. Some pediatricians do not believe in Reflux and will not treat it --- they obviously have never had "heartburn" and don't keep up with current research. They used to use PH probes, which they do not recommend anymore. Based on symptoms your doctor can "trial" something like Prevacid (check with your insurance) solu tabs for two weeks and see if it helps. The risk of side effects are minimal........
As always your doctor knows best, but I urge you to get some info....If I can help you with anything please Email [email protected]____.com

I cannot imagine how frustrating this must be..... If you suspect at ALL that reflux might be why your little Angel is not sleeping, please don't make him cry it out.......

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S.

answers from Nashville on

Is he still taking a bottle? If the answer is yes, he is not full when he goes to bed... Try and start to give him a bath about 30 minutes before you want to put him to bed in the Johnsons lavander nightime and then put the lotion on him that goes with it, and right before you lay him down give him a bottle and put cereal mix in with his milk make sure he can still get it through the nipple though and warm it up on the stove in boiling water for about 30 seconds and it should help him. feel free to email me [email protected]____.com. I will be more than happy to help with other suggestions if I can. I hope that works, it worked like a charm for both of my boys. also try keeping socks on him at night as well that way he's not waking up because he is cold. because the two quickest areas that body heat leaves us are the feet and the head.

S.

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S.M.

answers from Nashville on

Hi D. M!
This might sound silly but it is a true story. My hairdresser went through the same thing only to find out that her son had severe pressure behind her son's ears. Every time he would lay down the pain was keeping up and in tears. Apparently it is not uncommon. I just thought it is worth a try. If his ears are fine, ask your pediatrition about a little bit of Melatonin.
S.

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J.R.

answers from Nashville on

I had the same problem with my first baby. He woke up to nurse every two hours around the clock until he was 18 months old. Then I read "Solve your Chid's sleep problems" by Richard Ferber MD. By the third night of following his advice, my baby starting sleeping for 11 hours every night. He cried for 15 minutes the first night,10 the next, five the next,then didn't cry at bedtime at all. Read the whole book...it explains the physiology of sleep etc.
Good luck !!

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L.C.

answers from Memphis on

are you a member of babycenter.com? It has some wonderful suggestions for getting your child to sleep thru the night. I had a problem until my daughter was about 5 months old. The help of cereal filling her belly sure helped and I bought a white noise maker. I got it thru the mail at JCPenney's. I also play her a CD that repeats over and over again. I would also try and let her cry for awhile. I would let her lay in her bed for 5 minutes the first night, 7 the second and 10 minutes the third. Now, when she wakes she lays there for awhile and I give her the passey and back out like a light she goes. Let me know if any of this works. I know it is hard in the middle of the night to let her/him cry especially when your amin objective is to get back to sleep to. I think it just becomes a habit for them.

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K.

answers from Atlanta on

I complet
ely understand, since my daughter didn't sleep all night until she was 3 years old. One thing we finally discovered that did help was making sure she had a filling snack before bed because she has a fast metabolism. However, she didn't start sleeping well (well for her) until we got her a puppy and after it was potty trained put the puppy on her bed to sleep at night. Good Luck! I know its tough, but it will get better.

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R.S.

answers from Savannah on

like i have any room to talk but my son is almost 17 mos and dosen't always sleep thru the night either.1 thing what is his schedule during the day 2 feed him a little bit of cereal and milk before bed make sure diaper is fresh and put him to bed if he hollers u know he's not hungry nor needing a diaper change make sure or at least try to make sure he follows the same routine everyday.is he walking by the way.take the ocean wave out give him a non fluffy stuffed animal and maybe that'll help.i am trying to get my kids on a reg schedule now!hopefully soon i will!

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T.

answers from Nashville on

This may be bad advice. But I put my baby in the bed with us to be able to sleep without getting up and down all night. Our baby does sleep better this way, maybe it is the security. I dont know but it is sure worth being able to sleep all night. The only bad thing is it is a bad habit to start. Just depends on if it works for you and if it is worth the consequences.

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L.

answers from Augusta on

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Mine is like that, too! I knew you already taken advice of letting him cry. And me too! I gave up, because I need sleep. I sleep with him now. He's better... He is into separation anxiety peak. He is anxious everytime you are not there when he's awake, and he's afraid that he's missing something. I wish I could give you more advices. I tried everything, too... from books, old advices, etc. The only way for me to get more sleep, is to sleep with him. Good luck..... L.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I was also a big fan of the Ferber method

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M.G.

answers from Nashville on

D., i have been where you are with my oldest child. Starting at 9 months he started waking up alot after months of trying to get my dr to understand he was nt sleeping well and after trying all of the "tricks" they finally sent him to neurologist and they did a sleep test. Insomnia isnt very common but it can happen in small children. he also had reflux which cause sleeping problems in the beginning. You might try raising up the head of his bead 2 or 3 inches to help. Also try giving him something thick to eat before bedtime. When my son was on formula we had to put cereal in his bottle to make it very thick so it would stay down. I hope some of these suggestions help. Dont let your drs tell you its a stage if you feel somethings wrong be pushy. I had to. When they finally did his sleep test they found out he was only sleeping for 1 hour and 49 minutes a night.......

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E.

answers from Nashville on

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I agree with some of your other moms. BABY WISE!!! It works. My sister and I both used it on five children and they were all sleeping through the night by 3 months or sooner. Even my child with acid reflux from a milk allergy (we had to get the reflux under control first). I mention this because some babies do have reflux when they lay down. The routine is important and the learned behavior of putting oneself to sleep. It is important that children learn to self sooth and put themselves to sleep. It is not something that always comes automatically. The more sleep help your child has the less they rely on themselves to put themselves to sleep. It will take them some time to figure out how to do this themselves especially as they get older, but it can be done. BABY WISE!!!

Thinking of you and praying for good results.

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B.A.

answers from Chattanooga on

My sister-in-law had the same problem with her youngest. She tried the same things, all to no avail as well. What finally worked with her is she weaned her daughter, then she finally slept at night. I don't know if you are (or had been) breastfeeding.

One thing that works with mine is that I put him to bed at the same time (as much as I can)every night. We do not go through a big long bedtime ritual. I simply put on his jammies, brush his teeth, and put him to bed. No rocking, no cudling, no singing. Just bed. He get's those things other times of the day. When I put him to bed I don't even look back at him as I leave the room. It works for us! I hope this is of some help to you!

B. A.

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H.

answers from Atlanta on

I have twins that didn't sleep well for a while. Have you tried just putting him in bed with you or getting him a twin bed so you can lay down with him until he falls asleep. That is what we did with our boys. They sleep in their own beds now all through the night. Sometimes babies need extra security. I tried to let mine cry too. That didn't work. The other suggestion I can offer is try taking him to a chiropractor. I know Chiropractics has had a lot of success with this when other things haven't worked. There is a out patient clinic at Life university 1269 Barclay Cir. Marietta, GA
30060
Good Luck!

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B.J.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I had the same problem with my son around the same age, I called his doctor and he actually said to give him a small dose of Children's Benadryl at bedtime for a couple of days in a row to get his bedtime routine down. I was at my wits end, so I tried it. And low and behold, it actually worked.

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A.M.

answers from Huntsville on

Get a prescription for Ambien.

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D.

answers from Atlanta on

Hello,
I don't know if anything I have to say will help but I will try. I am the mom of 5 ages 18yrs to 33yrs and I believe babies are still the same.

One of my children had their days and nights mixed up. I had to make sure she stayed awake except for a short nap during the day for a few days and then she had her days and nights right again.

If this is an only child, he may not be getting enough interaction with other children or enough activity to make him sleep good and deep. My children always played so actively that by the time they took their bath and I read them a story, they were asleep before I finished the story. I know this is hard to do especially when you are already tired, but try it for a few days and see if it helps any.

Good luck. I know this can be a difficult time. Be sure to have your husband help you with this, he doesn't have a free pass because this is his child also. I am also giving you my phone number should you like to talk anymore.

D. Bachan
###-###-####

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A.

answers from Jackson on

The best advice I found was a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". My daughter was also one that crying it out would not work. This book was excellent. It gives a lot of information about how to teach children how to relax themselves to sleep. It's not a quick fix but it is a lasting fix. I started with her when she was 5 months old and she was able to sleep through the night by the time she was a year old. We put her in a toddler bed when she was 2 1/2 and she has been able to go to sleep on her own since then. She is now 4 1/2. I highly recommend the book. You can find it on Amazon.

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J.P.

answers from Memphis on

I second the Ferber method. I used it for both of my kids.

Jen

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A.E.

answers from Memphis on

My second child would wake up and the crying it out trick didn't work for him, either. If I remember correctly, I would comfort him until he stopped crying, sit down next to his crib and wait a few minutes. Then get up, comfort him again until he stops crying, sit down a little further and wait a few more minutes. Over and over again. I think I remember a couple of REALLY difficult nights, but he finally realized that I was there and he was safe and I wasn't giving him food/milk/playtime/etc. and he wasn't coming into my bed either. Good luck!!

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W.J.

answers from Florence on

He may have a touch of colic, some children do. Make sure he is as warm as possible when he goes to sleep. Also make sure he has a full tummy. Last but not least give him plenty of activities before bedtime. sometimes the more tired they are, the more likely they will sleep through the night. hope it helps.

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T.C.

answers from Birmingham on

I consulted my daughter's pediatrician when she was 12 months about the same issue and she told me to put her in the bed at a certain time every night and let her cry herself to sleep. My daughter was really stubborn. When I checked on her, I had to make sure she didn't see me because if she did, she'd cry much harder and even longer. After 4 nights, she was no longer waking up at night. I know it's hard at first, but after a few nights he will become used to the routine.

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E.D.

answers from Hattiesburg on

I have a 16 month old. He didn't start sleeping through the night until he was about 9 or 10 months. He was still waking up for a bottle in the middle of the night and b/c he was teething. I started giving him a thick bottle at night and would add cereal and some stage 1 applesauce and a little juice to it and give him a little tylenol when I knew some teeth were coming in. As soon as I started those thick bottles he stopped waking up at night. Not sure if that will help but that was our problem was that he wasn't eating enough to keep him asleep through the night.

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K.

answers from Nashville on

It will take more than one night of letting him cry it out. If you can stand it, it will not hurt him. Frankly I never could stand it. I just got up with my now 26 year old son. It is tiring but it will pass. However, I know you are exhausted. You can't sleep when he is crying, I know. Keep trying. Has he always waked up or is this a new condition? I guess your pediatrician says to let him cry it out. They are great at saying that. They don't have to practice it!

Good luck. Does he have a late nap? If so, maybe he is not tired enough? Children are a puzzle.

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S.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm sure you've tried feeding at night... We just put an allergen filter in our child's room and it's dramatically improved sleep - better air and some great white noise. I hope things get better!!! Hang in there...

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R.C.

answers from Nashville on

As bizarre as it might seem, try an earlier bed time and attempt to establish a good bedtime routine. It worked for my daughter. I remember how bad it was and wondered at times if I might possibly die of sleep depravation. My daughter FINALLY started sleeping through the night when she was about 16 months. Remember that your son won't cry himself to death. He will eventually learn to calm down and sleep. Hang in there. This stage will eventually pass. Good luck!

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M.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Don't know if it's too late but I can only say two words - BABY WISE!!!!!! When my daughter was 5 weeks old and not sleeping though the night my sister introduced me to this "schedule" and by 7 weeks old she was sleeping like a baby, so was I!!! You don't have to follow it to a "T" but take the general guidelines and hopefully it'll work. Good luck :)
M.

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L.L.

answers from Nashville on

What does he want when you go get him? Is he hungry? wet? If he's hungry maybe you should consider feeding him more at dinner time or moving dinner time to a later hour. If he is wet, cut back his beverages a little earlier before bed. If he just wants you and there is nothing wrong, maybe you are just putting him down for bedtime too early. My son has always been a night owl. If we put him in bed before 10 or 11 he never slept through the night but if we waited and put him to bed later he would sleep straight through. He's 6 now and being a night owl never hurt him. His favorite show until he started Kindergarten was Jay Leno! Now we make him go to bed at 9 but it's a fight because he is not tired.

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A.L.

answers from Knoxville on

Have you tried putting something in the crib that has your scent on it? A friend of mine told me try that when I was trying to get my son to sleep alone and it worked. I just took my sleep shirt and placed it beside him and he has been sleeping alone ever since.

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M.

answers from Columbus on

I have found that if when my daughter started to wake up at night she would take a bottle and fall asleep when I rock her. Then I started to cut down on the amount of formula I would give her and shorten the amount of time I would rock her. As I gradually cut down on those two things, she eventually started to sleep through the night. She had been sleeping through the night since she was 3mos old then all of a sudden she started to wake up at night, now that was hard to handle! Now, if there is an occasion when she wakes up then I will put a little bit of milk in her bottle and warm it up, then change her diaper and give her the bottle in her crib until she falls back to sleep. Hope this helps!

M.
Working mother, wife, and student! Of a 12month old

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A.S.

answers from Huntsville on

Been there, thought I was going to lose my mind from lack of sleep!! This worked: for the night time feedings, I gave him a bottle of water each time he woke up. You can be sure he made a shocked/disgusted face each time because it wasn't what he wanted. He cried very little and took the water. Within a month he quit waking up for feedings (guess he figured it wasn't worth it if he couldn't get what he wanted to drink)! Just had another baby. If she does the same thing, you can be sure I will try this again!! Good luck and best wishes for multiple nights of sleep!!!!!!

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A.W.

answers from Huntsville on

Ok I had the exact same problem. I have a 4 year old girl and she did the same thing. People told me to let her cry and I told them to forget it. I would let her cry for maybe 5 minutes and if she didn't stop I would go in there because letting them cry to much isn't good for them. Anyway, she did sleep with us for awhile and everyone told me how hard it would be to get her to sleep in her own bed and actually it wasn't. We were expecting baby #2 and needed the crib so my father bought my daughter a huge full sized bed and she slept in that. The first few nights she woke up as normal, I think it was just routine really, but she did start sleeping through the night soon after that. I don't know exactly why she started sleeping through the night all my doctor said is that they just start sleeping through the night when they feel they can. My daughter was 2 1/2 when she started sleeping all night. It was hard but I promise you it does get better. Some children are just stuck on a routine and I can't say for sure how to break that routine but cutting naps out worked well too. Now if they take a nap they won't go to sleep til 10 or 11 so they don't take naps. I wish you luck. Hang in there, it does get better.

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R.R.

answers from Atlanta on

I agree with the Baby Wise book. It was awesome. It puts them on a schedule and they know what to expect. But, I also saw the response about the ears too. My child had to have tubes at 6 months and the symptoms were that of what you are going through? It may be worth the doctor's visit to see if that is the case. Especially, if he has been in the water a lot this summer.

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R.T.

answers from Florence on

Dear D. -

I have two adopted boys who both started sleeping through the night when they were 3 months old. I found the advice in John Rosemond's book "Parent Power" useful and also in "What To Expect The First Year" by Eisenbert, Murkoff, and Hathaway. I think it's very important to have a set bedtime and to have a regular routine that you follow every time. Also, he could be waking up so often because he's cold or hot. If he's teething, the sheet could be wet from his drooling on it. They say that everyone wakes up during the night and that babies have to be taught to put themselves back to sleep. We had more trouble with our second son who is more of a light sleeper and I followed this routine: let him cry but go in every ten minutes and reassure him, but do not pick him up and do not stay in the room longer than 1 minute. The first night this went on for about an hour, but by the third night he didn't bother waking up and crying. I've read that it can take up to 1 week of applying this technique before it takes, but consistency is the key. I hope this helps. Best of luck, and I hope you and your baby start getting a good night's sleep soon.

R.

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R.N.

answers from Atlanta on

Yipes! You poor thing. Have you taken him to the dr to make sure he doesn't have anything wrong? His ears may be bothering him and it might hurt to lay down. My daughter started doing that when she had ear infections. If he's never slept through the night then he might have become dependent on you being there. I would first have him checked out by the dr. He may also have reflux and may not be able to lie flat on his back - another problem we had w/our daughter. If he checks out okay then I would try to go in and pick him up the first time and the next just rub his back. Or make holding him shorter and shorter. It takes a lot of patience and I know you're probably running out, but sometimes you have to get them in the 'zone' where they're not quite asleep but not quite awake. That's what worked for us. Let me know how it goes and good luck! Email if you me ever want to talk. [email protected]____.com
R.

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A.B.

answers from Mobile on

Our doctor did suggest letting him cry also. It did work for us but you have to go in his room periodically and let him know you are still there. Our doctor said let him cry for first for 15mins., then go in his room lay him back down and leave. Then let him cry 15 more mins. and do the same thing. Then let him cry 20mins and do the same thing. If it doesn't work after the last time, then it's time to pick him up and reassure him, then start the process over again. My children went through some seperation-anxiety around this age and also woke up many times during the night b/c they realized we weren't there with them. Hope I helped!

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L.J.

answers from Memphis on

In short, run out and buy "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. She is known as the Sleep Lady and has gentle and logical ways to cure sleep issues. With him being as old as he is, it will take longer because he's gotten into bad sleep habits, but she gives you age appropriate sleep info and the skills you need to get him to sleep. If he is getting up that many times during the night, it sounds like he is waking at the end of every sleep cycle. The Sleep Lady's goal is to get kids to go to sleep on their own and stay asleep, and to learn how to put themselves back to sleep when they partially awake between those sleep cycles. What do you do to get him to sleep? Are you feeding him each time he wakes? The Sleep Lady is amazing - she'll be able to help you!

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T.

answers from Atlanta on

D.,

Wow! do I ever feel for you. Call your pediatrician. If all else fails, sleep with him so you can soothe him back to sleep. I sleep with my 24 month old and his 4 year old brother just started sleeping in the twin bed next to him. Although I have been criticized often by others, I don't care what they say. I sleep, the kids sleep and we all love the snuggle time. Besides, some day they won't think it is so cool. Good luck. I'd definitely talk to your pediatrician.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

I have tead someof the other responses and I have to agree with some of them. Go in and check on him. Don't pick him up but let him know you are there. When he continues to cry, wait 10 minutes before you check on him. Gradually increase the time you wait until you check on him. The Baby Whisperer is a ealy good book. I don't remember the author.
Also, some kids start having night terrors about this time. They can't tell you what is wrong but just seem really afraid. In that case, you may have to comfort him.
Anothe suggestions: Is his room too hot or too cold? Too dark? My kids (2 & 4) sleep with the bedroom door open and the hall light on until I go to bed and then I close it. My 2 year old has just moved to a toddler bed and I leave her door cracked a little instead of closing it all the way. Her room gets really dark when the door is closed all the way. My son has a ceiling fan with a light that dims. We dim the light when he goes to bed so even with the door closed he has more light than a nightlight would give if he wakes up.
One final thought: check to see if he has any undiagnosed food allergies. My friend's little boy would scream for hours. She kept a food diary and finally figured out that he was lactose intolerant. He can only have milk and milk products in small amounts and only if he eats it with a carb such as bread. He made very quick progress once they figured out the problem and changed his diet.
I know it is tough but hang in there. It will get better.

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R.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi D. I feel for you because I have a ten month old that is just now starting to sleep through the night, though he is not consistent. We finally got desperate (we had tried EVERYTHING else) and let him cry it out...this was one of the hardest things I have ever done (harder than labor and delivery)! But it has been the only thing that has gotten any kind of results. We have established a routine and do the same thing at the same time every night and things have improved. Some nights he does not wake up until 5 0r 6 AM now which is a huge improvement from every two hours. If he cries longer than an hour we will pick him up but he usually does not last that long. Good luck to you, R.

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S.F.

answers from Macon on

My daughter, who is 3 1/2 and still doesn't sleep through the night, slept in my room until she was 2. When she slept in our room what we did was put the side of her baby bed down all thw way and put the mattress up to the highest level and put it right up against our bed. That way she felt like she was in our bed, but she wasn't really. At 2 we transitioned her into a toddler bed, still in our room for a while, then she moved to her own room. She still wakes up in the night, but she doesn't cry when she wakes up, so its easier for her and I to get back to sleep. I hope you get some sleep!

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S.B.

answers from Columbus on

Hi D.!! I am new to this, actually just joined this morning and how ironic that this is the first one I get to respond to.

I have a 16 mo. old daughter and she has been sleeping fairly well since she was 5 weeks old. It was almost always all through the night until a few months ago and she has been waking up constantly most nights. Fortunately, I stay home with her so I don't have to get up and get off to work, but I still need my sleep though!!!

Our problem was that we would hold her, not rock her, but hold her each night until she fell asleep - then try to e-a-s-e her carefully into her crib without waking her up. That was not a good idea FOR US for many reasons. I don't know that there is a certain bedtime that babies should have, I think it's whatever works for the individual families, but we would also put her down between 9 - 9:30 for bedtime and I'd also give her a bath in the mornings since I'm home with her.
We've now moved her bathtime to the evenings and I soak her with Aveeno bedtime lotion, read the same 3 books everynight, say prayers and put her down and we are gradually getting her bedtime moved up to 8:30ish.

My friend gave me a book to read called, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and it introduces the "Sleep Lady Shuffle," which is starting to help us. Check that book out if you can. It helps them learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own and if they wake up throughtout the night, they learn how to get themselves back to sleep without waking us to do it. So far, so good and it seems to be getting easier every night. Lastnight was the first night in weeks that she didn't wake up at all. In fact, she stirred, but never woke up.

Hope this will help you!!

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C.N.

answers from Memphis on

I strongly suggest the Good Night, Sleep Tight book by Kim West. She calls her approach the Sleep LAdy's Gentle Guide to helping your chold go to sleep, stay asleep and wake up happy.

My son was born 5 weeks early and had horrible refulx. For the first four months of his life he was waking up to eat every two hours. For the Fifth month, it was every three. My mother bought me this book and I started right away. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night - 11 hours! It takes some work and some discipline (because I know that it's easier to bring him to bed with me so I can sleep), but we never had to "cry it out" and now he puts himself to sleep.

Good luck - hope it helps. I'm available if you have any questions.

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A.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi.

Letting them cry it out WORKS! The thing to do, to alleviate your guilt, is to let them cry about 15 mintues. Go in the room, leave all lights OFF.., pat their back, give them a kiss, say, It's time to go to sleep, and leave.... go back after 30 more mins, pat their back, lovingly say good night, and leave... this is for bed time ONLY.. not the middle of the night

If it's the middle of the night, and your child is in a SAFE bed, that he cannot get out of or he is in a safe area that he cannot leave, just let him cry. He cries because he knows it will get you back in his room to get him. Be consistent. It may take a few weeks, but he will soon see that mommy is not coming in the room in the middle of the night any more. Also, you are aware of his cries. You will know if he's crying because he has been hurt, or is it his "mommy, i want you in here" cry.

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K.T.

answers from Knoxville on

Could he be cutting his molars - those are painful - I would try Motrin for a night
Have you tried co-sleeping - that is the only thing that works for us .We bought a King size bed with a side rail.
SOme babies have stronger survival insticts ( that is the instinct in the wilds that would tell you to its dangerous to be alone and you should be with your pprotector ( in this case mommy )
There is a lot of good info on www.askdrsears.com
Cry it out does not work for all babies

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A.

answers from Knoxville on

Hi D.,
Please read the book "solving your child's sleeping problems" by Richard Ferber.
A.

Hi again!
I wasn't able to write more because I had my 18-month-old son trying to use the computer! He was a terrible sleeper until 8 months of age; mainly because we gave him the "wrong sleeping aids" for him to go to sleep (rocking, breastfeeding, etc). I was desperate until I read the Ferber book. I was not into letting him cry it out at all. The book is short, to the point, and makes total sense! It helps you figure out what you might be doing wrong and helps you fix it. Whoever says the Ferber method is about the crying alone is mistaken. My son also threw up when I let him cry (before I read the book), he also woke up 3 to 5 times a night.

Good luck!
A..

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P.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I hope that you have found something that has worked with all of the great advice that has been posted. Even though it has been suggested in other posts, I had post too! I have an almost 4 and almost 2 year old, both boys. My first son was the same way. We tried the cry-it-out method and he threw up every time, even to the point of dry heaving. My pediatrician did not condone co-sleeping, but he also said that it was simply not good for a baby to cry to the point of throwing up. It raises blood pressure and heart rate and has the potential to be dangerous. After months of heartache and exhaustion and not knowing what else to do, we did turn to co-sleeping when our baby was 9 months. It worked fantastic and we were all a lot happier, heathier family. My baby needed extra touch and security for some reason and that is what worked for him and for us. If you go that route, go there carefully and with eyes wide open. It can be difficult to break the habit and many people suggest that it is dangerous for the baby. My little boy did not go completely into his own bed until he was 2 1/2 but we had a fairly easy transition. As far as co-sleeping, my husband and I had a hard and fast rule about NO DRINKING. We didn't drink that much to begin with, a glass of wine or a beer occassionally, but with a baby in the bed, absolutely nothing! Also no medications that cause drowsiness. No down comforter or heavy bedding. We didn't use a headboard. A million other precautionary rules but it was all worth it. Our second baby ~ complete opposite! Won't sleep anywhere but in his own crib and sleeps for 12 hours straight without a peep! Sometimes it is just the baby and what he or she needs. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

I am sorry! my 22 month old was 9 months before she slept all night, and i thought i was going to die! she had acid reflux, though. what is it that he wants or that comforts him? my 22 month old has an occasional wake up but i pretend to lay her baby doll back to sleep (you can try his favorite toy animal) and i give her a cup of warm strawberry milk. i find talking to her about what i'm doing helps. for example, "lets put the baby night night, mommy will be right back with strawberry milk,here let the baby take a drink" then i say go to sleep, i'm going to close the door, night night, and i close her room door. she usually goes right to sleep or might cry for one minute but she knows i'm not coming back, i only do it once. if they know you'll come back, they'll cry until you do. i know it's hard because with the reflux, she would throw up after crying too long too. good luck.

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B.

answers from Atlanta on

The longer you wait, the harder it is. You are always training your child. It sounds like this time you trained him to get up every night. It will take longer to retrain than it did to initially train. Persist. It took my first a week of crying at night before she learned to sleep 8 hours. She has ever since! It's hard, but even if you must get up to check, don't pick him up. You'll survive, and the result will be worth it.

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C.

answers from Nashville on

Hi,
My name is C.. My son is 33 months old and still doesn't sleep thru the night most nights. I have lived the last 21/2 years on mainly 4 hours sleep or less. You may want to try the book by the Sleep Lady. I think that may even be the name of the book; I can't remember. She is a leading resource on children and sleep from birth on up. Are you now or were you breastfeeding? Has your child slept with you since birth? Some of these things can be part of the reason. My son would not sleep unless he slept in my lap for the first 2 years from the day he was born. I spent many nights in the first many months, sleeping sitting up. Or maybe he has breathing or nasal/sinus issues you are not aware of. There could be a miilion reasons and solutions to explore.

Have you consulted with your pediatrician?

Good luck!!

C.
Nashville

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A.

answers from Knoxville on

Oh my god I feel your pain! Mine is 21 months. I read the No Cry Sleep Solution, waste of time, good advice for babies that stop crying in 5 minutes. Is your baby a will not stop for 2 hours + baby? Mine is, rash barfing, the whole nine yards and I finally could not take it. I took my son to the doctor for a full check up and got a clean bill of health. I got the go ahead to let him cry from the doctor. Bought a baby Tad for the crib for him to play with, took a Tylenol PM and put pillows under my doors. I have no idea if he cried. I did this 2 nights wracked with guilt, and now he sleeps. I also put a 25W bulb in a lamp just to make sure he was not scared and bought huggies over nights. Have a good heart to heart with your doctor and see if there is any insight. Good luck this is hard!

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J.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Honestly, when my kids (or me for that matter) can't sleep I give them Noni Juice. Check out http://www.nonihealthinfo.com/ - for research info. I have had such good luck with the juice that I became a product consultant - so if you have any questions or want more info - let me know and I'll get you whatever you need. You can reach me at [email protected]____.com -
Good luck!
J.

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R.

answers from Atlanta on

First of all, I pray for your continued strength, patience and sense of calm.....and also for your son to learn to calm himself.

Secondly....here are a few things that helped my husband and I. We have one son who is now 3.5 yo.

We tried to create a calming routine as a prelude to bed time. But made sure that he was not asleep when we put him in bed...just drowsy and in pre-sleep relaxation.

About 45 minutes before bedtime we would try to not overstimulate him (stay away from active play, tv, loud music or loud activity in the house). We would bath him in a soothing way (no active play), maybe use a lavender scented soap which helps calm and dim the lights in the bathroom. Use the time before dressing him to lay him on the bed or changing table and gently massage this legs, arms, and abdomen with cream using long gentle strokes. Speak to him softly. Keep the lights in the bedroom dim. After dressing him, spend some time cuddling and maybe read a bedtime story. Make sure to lay him down to sleep while he is still awake! Maybe turn on a music box on one of the musical light boxes that attach to the crib so that he can be soothed by the music as you say good night and close the door.

There were nights when he had difficulty and we ended up having to let him cry for a long time before he cried himself to sleep. (which as a mom was the hardest thing to do!) But for the most part he transitioned well and began sleeping throught the night regularly.

Sleep is a beautiful thing....and sleep deprivation is not! Stay strong!

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J.P.

answers from Atlanta on

I would like him cry it out. Make sure you have a routine at night then you can let him pick something out of a goody bag. Put it on top of his dresser and if he does good that night he can have it when he gets up. You can also make a chart where he can put a sticker everytime he does good and when he fusses take one off, then when he gets 5 he gets to pick something out of the goody bag. He will keep doing this as long as he knows he can get your attention with it. Good Luck!

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K.

answers from Huntsville on

I know this is a really, really hard one. My daughter is just about to turn two and we had to go through this in the first year. I would try letting him cry and then go in after 5 min., then double the time before entering again - 10 min. then 20 min. and so on. He will learn that you are there and trust that you will come back if he needs you to. But don't pick him up when you go in. Just quickly speak to him, stroke his back or whatever to comfort him and then leave.

I don't know if you have a bedtime routine but it would help as well. That way he would know what is coming next and his body will adjust to that routine. We always do a bath at 7:30 and then play or read until 8:00 and then it is lights out.

Just hang in there but don't give up!!

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M.

answers from Atlanta on

What are your thoughts on co-sleeping? My son was a terrible sleeper and wouldn't sleep thru the night. I tried CIO once and couldn't stand to hear him. So one night out of exhaustion I let him sleep in our bed and after that we all got good sleep. I eventually moved him back to his toddler bed and read him stories and stayed in his bed until he fell asleep and now he sleeps in his own room. He still occasionally wakes up and comes in our room but I don't mind. This time they need you so much is so fleeting that I will just enjoy it while we can. Soon enough he won't want anything to do with mom and dad. If you don't want to co-sleep try a modified version of Ferberizing. Let him cry for 5 minutes then go in and console but don't pick up. Then go out and let him cry for 10 minutes this time, go in, console, etc. You can also try sitting next to his bed, then each night move your chair a little closer to the door until eventually you're outside the door. Good luck. I now have a 5 1/2 month old and thankfully she's a good sleeper but I wasn't so lucky the first time. I figure God is rewarding me this time for how hard I had it the first time!!

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A.W.

answers from Montgomery on

D. I can very much relate to your situation. I to have a 19 month old. She has pretty much cry since she was born. I finally got her to sleepy in her own bed only to back at square one again. I finally decided it wasn't worth the hassle and but her in the bed with us. She sleeps soundly every night now. I know this is was a bad ideal but it was my only sanity and way of getting any sleep.

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E.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Well letting them cry is not a good thing, what got us to let our child sleep all night, no naps for a day, my son has slept all night since he was 2 months, if you spend a whole day playing and keeping him occupied maybe let him have a hour nap, he will get on a right sleeping pattern. Trust me sometimes he tries to get out of it and wakes us up but then he will go back to sleep without crying. Well it helps he sleeps in a toddler bed, he is 19 months also!

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

D.-
Get Weissbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" immediately. It is fantastic and explains why you need to get your child on a schedule and HOW to pronto! My guess it that you let him cry for an hour and then you went to get him. This only teaches him that he has to cry for an hour, and then you will come. I can't stand letting my 16 month old cry either, but I never really had to that long when following this program. It is incredible.
A. C.

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L.C.

answers from Huntsville on

We had my daughter sleep trained at 10 months because we read that the longer we waited the worse it would be and the more effort it would take to get them to sleep through the night. Cry it out is what worked for us but that does not work for every parent. I recommend doing an internet search on the various sleep ideas and pick one you are comfortable with. THen you have to just stick with it. We sort of modified our CIO approach and would go into her after a set amount of time. After a few days that got less and less and we didn't have to go into her at all, of course she was younger too. Your 19 month old will be very resistant and you will have to find a way to help him overcome sleeping longer at a time.

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S.C.

answers from Atlanta on

D.,

My husband and I are in the same boat as you! (except our daughter is 12 months old) She, too wakes up 3-5 times a night wanting us to come to her. She sleeps in our bed and when she realizes no one is next to her she freaks out! We have a queen size bed and it isn't comfortable to sleep with her because she spreads eagle across most of the bed and we are terrified to move her in fear of waking her little butt up! :)So we are couch dwellers. We of course have tried putting her in her crib but she definitely isn't having that! In fact last time we let her cry for 5-10minutes in her crib and she puked up everywhere! I wish I had some advice for you, but I am seeking the same! Maybe we could compare notes and somehow help each other out!!!!!!!!!!! You'll love this one.... I actually have a broken blood vessel in my eye from lack of sleep. (looks like my eye ball is bleeding, it looks scary!)

S.

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R.P.

answers from Savannah on

D.-
My son had the same problem, but we addressed it at 6-8 months and found the problem and the solution.

We started by asking our daycare to keep track of our son's routine while he was there, most daycares have a sheet where they can write the times they feed, change diapers and when and how long the child napped, but some won't fill out the sheet unless you ask.

We found he didn't want to go to bed because they let him take 6 hours or more of naps a day at daycare!!!!!!!!! It was not because he was hungry, wet or anything else. He had already slept a lot that day and was mad.

So we took him out of daycare and got someone (college student) to watch him at home when our daycare didn't follow our request to limit his naptimes. He now takes on 2-3 hour nap a day only, at the same time daily. If he wakes up early or goes down late we don't allow another nap, he just waits until bedtime because we both work and can't be up with him all night and because we found being too flexible with his routine hindered his progress.

Then we got into a night routine that included taking our son to his room, turning off most of the lights, sitting and rocking him for a little while, he drank his last bottle with one or both parents there. Then at a set time we put him to bed whether he was asleep or not. He hated this at first and cried, screamed and threw fits. He is very stubborn. Some nights he vomited or started choking a little he cried so hard, but we sat outside his room to make sure he was okay when that happened and stuck to our guns.

Some nights in the beginning he cried for an hour, even though my doctor and friends swore this wasn't possible or wouldn't happen.

But after two weeks we were in a routine, he knew we would not give in and he got used to it. He also wasn't sleeping his days away at daycare so he was actually tired, which probably helped the most. Now we stay with the routine at nap time and bed time.

Good Luck.

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R.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Hi D., Oh.... I feel ya! I have (2) 2year olds TWINS!!
Not so much to ease your mind but to let you know you are not alone, my boys still don't sleep threw the night. Ever....
I've tried everything from putting them in the same bed, same room, different bed, different room, increasing their activities, reading, warm baths, shorter naps, less sugar,
I've tried everything I can think of, they don't cry to much, they usually will go right back to sleep if I lay down next to them or just reasure them that I'm right there.
I hope this didn't make you more discouraged, just know that you are not alone. I hope your nights get quieter,
R.

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F.

answers from Florence on

Have you tried playing music in his room. My son use to sleep in the room with me and when I got married the year before I moved him to his own room. Granted he was 4 but he use to fall asleep while I was watching t.v. I turn on a radio very low and a fan (he's like me he loves the noise) and my son cuddles with a stuffed puppy and sleeps all night long. Maybe your son's room is too quiet or needs something to hold?

Just thought I would let you know what I do and maybe it will help you.

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A.H.

answers from Davenport on

It may be more of a security issue than anything else. Things that worked for my daughter were putting a lamp in her room with a dimmer on it so there was just enough light but not too much. We found that night lights just didn't cut it with her. Also, we have 2 dogs and one of them sleeps with her every night. It's as if the dog knows it's her duty to keep Mabry (my daughter) in bed. We also made a stuffed animal army all the way around her bed and she has one specific stuffed animal she sleeps with every night. Hope something in there can help!
A.

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M.G.

answers from Memphis on

Hello D.. Have you tried putting a large stuffed animal next to him. I have a 2 1/2 foot stuffed dog I lay next to my girl at night. If I forget to do it, she will wake up or fall out of the bed. Are you sure he is waking up on his own? Is he falling out of the bed, do you live near and airport or railroad, busy street. There could be multitude of reasons why he is waking up. He may hear things from his room at night that you can't hear from yours.

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M.

answers from Nashville on

does he sleep during the day any if so dont let him do that any more give him a bath right befour bed time make it were he goes to bed at the same time every night and dont let him sleep any during the day and see if that helps any.

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K.O.

answers from Jackson on

hi, my daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 14 months, the are several things that i did and i will tell you about them pick up the one you thing is best for you, at one point i was doing them all and that work for me:
1)my mom told me two give her with her last bottle of the night 2 onz. of the orange blossom tea, is what a lot of women in mexico where i am from give their children to help them sleep is not bad for them!!believe me but it does take some time about 4 to 6 weeks for you to see results, everyday a give my baby a 8oz. formula 6oz of water and 2 oz. of tea.
2)a read in a book you let them cry first time 5 minutes you go a pick them up put them back to sleep, then they weak up again you let them cry ten minutes but this time your husband goes he put them back to sleep and the third time you let them cry 15 minutes and then you go.
if it a four time you increase it 5 more minutes from the last time it will be 20, this really help my baby to start getting in the habit and i didn't give her a bottle or breastfeding her, that will make them get up.
3)my father is a doctor, told me that if i really need it a break as a last option for me to catch with my sleep i could give her less than .o8 of benadryl for children to help her getting in the habit for 5 straight nights ask your pedetrician about this option, i have heard several moms doing this.
I hope this little advice help you in any way, in your desperate situation i know exactly how you feel!!
good luck!!

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L.H.

answers from Memphis on

GOODMORNING SWEETIE!!! SORRY TO HEAR YOU ARE NOT GETTING MUCH SLEEP!! HAVE YOU TRIED TO FEED HIM WARM CEREAL BEFORE BED AND A WARM BATH??? THAT ALWAYS HELPED ME!!! DOES HE SLEEP WITH A FAV. TOY OR BLANKIT??? YOU CAN ALSO TRY THAT!!! I HOPE ONE OF THESE THINGS HELP!!! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU TRY THEM AND IF IT WORKS!!! GOOD LUCK!!! YOUR MAMASOURCE FRIEND,L.

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M.

answers from Atlanta on

D.,

I feel your pain - my son is 2 1/2 and just started sleeping through night - the problem..........his crib! We moved him to a big boy bed (twin bed) this past weekend and he hasn't been up ONCE!!!! I had no idea his crib was the problem - I guess it just wasnt comfortable - maybe he was getting too big - and that may not be the problem for you, but it was for us.

GOOD LUCK!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

Hey ya
I know exactly wht yer going through my daughter didnt sleep through the night till she was 3 yrs old. My son at a year and we did nothing differant.try Letting her cry does nothing but stress everyone out you and him cause I know your arent getting any sleep if hes screaming. When she gets up try and get her to lay down and rub her back. Get the book " The No cry sleep solution" its written by a mom of 5 I think, She has lots of differant ways to get um down and they do work.

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S.

answers from Birmingham on

Honestly, D., I don't know if you are a religious person or not. But, the truth is, I was having the same problem and I went and prayed very hard in my sons room and I asked God to send Angels down to protect my son at night and to help him get good and peaceful sleep. That night, he slept through the night and didn't wake up until like 9:00! I went in thinking something was wrong and he was sleeping so well. Ever since then, he sleeps through the night and only rustles in the night when he has been cutting teeth. Just believe in God and what he can do for you and he will provide... I promise!

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J.B.

answers from Mobile on

I agree to a point with most of the responses that I have read, but I also think you should look into what you are feeding him in the evening. For dinner our children don't need to be eating fruits, same goes for the evening snack. Fruits are better digested in the morning because they give us energy. I am not one to believe in filling up my sons stomach with grains at night, just so he might sleep through the night. My husband is a Doctor of Chiropractic and over the past couple of years I have heard a lot about how our nutrition should be. Definately look into keeping his sleeping schedule during the day to a minimum. As he gets used to a schedule, things only get better. Always research into all your options before even considering medications. In most cases they only add to the problem. If you think that reflux is an issue then look into his intake of acidic foods throughout the day. I send blessings your way.

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S.D.

answers from Birmingham on

I know how you feel. My child who is 20 months does not sleep well, either. I have given in and end up at least half of the night in the bed with him. Which works for us.

Does your child have any medical conditions that might wake him up throughout the night? Mine has exzema due to food allergies. It is really more disruptive than I once thought. Since we now have that under control, he is sleeping much better and once this week - all night long!!!! We had gotten used to it and did not realize it was a big problem.

There are a lot of books, I went to Amazon website and searched "sleep".

Good luck!

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