Friends Husband

Updated on August 04, 2008
H.G. asks from Oceanside, CA
4 answers

I'm sure a handful of you have been in this spot. I'm originally from San Diego, and I've come back recently to see my Grandmother. I have not seen my friend Cheryl since I moved to Texas 4 years ago. Well, I saw her yesterday and met her new husband. What an arrogant @#$%&!!! I can't stand narcissistic people who argue with you about the slightest things & think that they are the authority on everything. The icing on the "all ready terrible day" cake was...he wore the skimpiest/tighest swim suit he could find (which was totally inappropriate for a community pool) and I was completely embarrassed. He strutted around like a peacock. I would think that since this was the first time we met, that he'd be on his best behavior. This was not the case at all, and I wonder if Cheryl thinks that his actions are okay. She wants to see us when we come back in October. Do I just tolerate the obnoxious husband, try not to see her when I'm here, tell her the truth (she admitted that some of her other friends don't like him)? I don't really think my poor husband, who's an absolute sweetheart, deserves to be exposed to that. Some thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers



answers from Tyler on

Well, I agree these kinds of people can be very obnoxious.

My advice to you is to see your friend. You do not have to stay at her house and you do not have to be around him for a long time.

Plan a day at the spa, get your hair and nails done or a similar event (girl time) and then you do not have to spend ANY time with him. Give your hubby the heads up to allow him to make plans with HIS friends at the same time and then he will not have to spend any time with him either. If you can, make your plans for when your friend's husband is at work and then you are all set.

Just remember not to say anything negative about him to your friend. After all, he IS her husband. But SHE is your friend and you owe it to yourself to get to spend SOME time with her.

Blessings and good luck,

P. <><

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I agree, see your friend, not her husband. If she suggests getting together as couples tell her "no, i don't think that my husband would enjoy that. let's just spend some girl time together". and then get pedicures, or go see a movie or shop.

You don't have to like her husband. She does. It would be wonderful if he wasn't awful and you could be friends, but you can't, so stay away... far away.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Okay, I have two suggestions for you. But first, I want to share something with you. Your friend's new husband seems EXACTLY like my brother n law, who I cannot stand. A few years ago, he argued with me when my husband, myself, him and his wife were all playing scattegories. He was clearly wrong about something (don't remember now). Everyone agreed. We even looked it up. And what did he do??? He STILL argued his point, even though he was 100% wrong. He is completely obnoxious. He had the God complex. Anyway, my point is that you are very lucky that your friend's husband is just that - your friend's husband. He is NOT family. You hardly ever have to see him. So, back to my two suggestions:

1) You and your husband could just bite your tongues and deal with it the one or two times a year you have to see him.

2) Tell your friend that you would rather spend quality time with her, instead of the four of you going out. Explain that you hardly ever get to see her, and you miss your time with her - just the girls. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Depends on how close you are to your friend. She must see something in him and with the distance between you it is not as if you are going to have to put up with him week in and week out. Try and set up girl time when you are in town, meeting for lunch and shopping. If a couples event is unavoidable, try making it out away from their house. It is easier to curtail and their are more distractions for your husband. Neutral territory works in a lot of situations. If the friendship is a valued one, it is worth the effort. Your husband is perfectly capable of holding his own. I've been married to a soft-spoken, gentle, sweet man for 35 years. We have both had to put up with obnoxious spouses of friends through all those years. We both approached it with a positvie attitude ie I will find something to like about her/him!!!! The determining factor has always been how important the primary friendship is. If it isn't, we just drifted another direction, ran out of time when we were in town, etc. Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches