I am requesting advice other than the cry it out method. A couple of months ago, my son was waking up once a night, which was fine. I can do once a night, no problem. Then he got sick and even though he's better now, he is waking up 3, 4, 5 or more times per night. I thought it was just because he was waking up in the crib by himself but even in the bed with me, he wakes up 3 or 4 times. It not only wears me out but I can tell that he is not getting enough rest either -- he used to wake up in such a good mood but now wakes up crying. This is his current schedule: goes to sleep at 8:30 pm, wakes up frequently through the night, gets up at 5:30 am, takes a 5-10 minute nap in the car on the way to mother's day out, stays up and plays until 12:30 or 1:00 then takes a nap. This nap can last until 2:30 or sometimes almost 4:00. Then, he eats dinner between 6:30 and 7:00, and takes a bath. We read books from 7:45 or 8:00 until 8:30. Then he gets a bottle and goes to sleep usually by 8:30.
It is not an ear infection - he had them terribly until they finally put in tubes when he was 9 1/2 months old. And thankfully, none since. I have tried putting him to bed earlier and all it did was make him wake up that much earlier.
Any suggestions?
Thanks for the suggestions. I shortened his nap and moved his bedtime to 7:30 pm. I put him to bed in the crib but when he wakes around 12:00 midnight, I go ahead and put him in bed with me. It's only been a few days but, so far, he is sleeping better. Only waking once or twice and then goes right back to sleep without me having to pick him up or anything. I'm not really sure how to get him back in the crib without doing the cry it out thing so, as long as my husband doesn't mind, I guess he will be in the bed with us for a little while. I can not explain how much better I can function having actually gotten some sleep. Thanks!
Hi S.,
I, unfortunately, don't have any advice, however if you get any good ideas, please share! I have a one year old with the exact same problems. I am exhausted and frustrated.
I can't do the cry it out method either. I can't even do the 3, 5, 7, 10 minute one. I am weak! lol
If you hear of anything that works, will you please be a sweetie and share?
Thank you and good luck. I feel you're pain! ;)
J.
I'd also recommend reading the No Cry Sleep Solution.
Are you sure he doesn't have an ear infection? I know it hurts worse when they lay down. Also, maybe you can try shortening his nap a bit.
does he sleep better with you? I am not a AP paretn so to say but I am a firm believer that they do not stay little for long and if you and him sleep better together then do it up. So i guess i am just a paretn who loves her sleep,lol. I have 4 kids and all of them have slept with us at one point and trust me when i say they grow out of it. This time in their lives will pass so quickly you should enjoy every moment of it even when they are sleeping,lol. (which is probably the best time anyway ;))
I just read this again and realized you said he tires to sleep with you and still does it. I have to agree that i think your sleep patterns for him may not be working. I find tyhat earlier bed times are the best! around 7-7:30 for that age and a good couple naps at around 9-10 am(if your kids are early birds like all of mine were) and another one around 2. I know you need your moms days out but dont they have a person who coul dhelp you to stay on your scedule. that 5-10 min nap in the car should be a much longer one.
Try reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. You may be putting your son to bed too late; an overtired child is less likely to sleep soundly than one who gets enough rest. Weissbluth recommends an early bedtime for kids, who then will sleep longer on a regular basis. He suggests two methods - rapid extinction and gradual extinction. Rapid extinction = crying it out, but generally lasts a week at most and then the child and the family are getting more and better sleep. This is what we did with our 4.5 month old and after a miserable week of him crying and us feeling like Grinches, our son started sleeping 10-13 hours a night! At 15 months he goes to bed between 6:30p and 7p and sleeps for 12 hours on average, sometimes longer, plus a midday nap of 90 minutes to an hour. ... Gradual extinction takes longer and, according to Weissbluth, has a lower success rate because it is harder to implement properly over many nights, especially as everyone is so very tired. But he does give guidelines for how to do it gradually because he knows not everyone finds themselves able to do rapid extinction. I HIGHLY recommend the book, to understand the science of sleep as well as methods of helping our children sleep. Good luck and happy dreams!
What are you doing when he wakes up? Do you pick him up, rock him or anything like that? I would suggest not doing that, unless he needs changing or is truly sick. Although you say you don't want "cry it out" techniques, here is what I suggest: when he wakes, check on him to make sure nothing is really wrong, that he is comfortable. If he is ok, don't pick him, just pat him, talk softly to him, then leave him, even if he starts crying, and come back in 2 minutes. Repeat this, but make it 4 minutes, etc. -- keep lengthening the time. It may take a few nights, but I think it will get better. This method worked very well for me. I know it is hard to hear your baby cry, but if he is really "OK", you are helping him in the long run.
try reading the no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley. our son was waking up ten to fifteen times a night, and within two months-- and with ZERO crying he was sleeping five or six hour stretches, and about 12 total hours at night. he still woke up because we were still nursing, but he slept SO much better. it totally works if you have the patience. i know this is hard, but it will pass. btw, good for you for not letting your baby cry!!!
I have a few suggestions that might help. First, try putting him to bed earlier. Even though that sounds odd, it sometimes can completely change their pattern. With my first child, she was having trouble with getting up too early. I kept trying to keep her up later. One night, out of pure exhaustion, I put her to bed about 30 -60 minutes earlier than normal and she slept until a decent time in the morning. After that, she started sleeping from 7pm - 7am. Overexhaustion does not make children sleep better - it does the opposite. Also, if he is using the bottle to go to sleep, try to work on getting him to sleep without that crutch. If they need something to go to sleep, they will become dependant upon it when they awaken at night and rather than fall quickly back to sleep, they will need their sleep aid. My second child had bad problems with fluid in her ears. Her sleep patterns were terribly affected by this. She had tubes at 10 months and within 2 weeks of the surgery she was sleeping through the night every night. My third child had ear infections and had the same results with tubes. Good luck!
Hi S.,
First let me say that being frustrated with your child's sleep patterns is a normal part of being a mom, and I understand the frustration. When it all works well, it is great, but if anything is not working as it should, it is hard to know what to do to fix it.
My suggestion to you would be to try to put bedtime earlier. A book that has helped me with sleep patterns is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." You are right in assuming he is not getting enough rest, the waking during the night is another sign of that. Oddly, children sleep worse the more overtired they are. So, by putting his bedtime earlier, you may find he will stop waking during the night. Also, if he is getting used to that attention in the middle of the night you may need to minimize the attention you give him when he does wake up. But I would try adjusting the bedtime first.
I also wonder if he still needs a morning nap? My son is 15 months old. Here is his sleep schedule: Go to bed at 6:30, sleeps usually all through the night and wakes about 7:30. (If he does wake during the night, I wait awhile before going in to check on him, sometimes it is just a couple cries and he'll go back to sleep on his own). He takes a morning nap about 10:00. I can tell he is growing out of this as some days he won't actually sleep, other days he'll sleep two hours. Then he takes an afternoon nap around 2:00 and usually sleeps about 2 hours.
Your schedule definitely doesn't have to look like mine, especially if you want to fit mother's day out in there (my son goes without morning nap about twice a week for activities like that and church), but I would suggest you read the book I mentioned as it might help you find some creative sleep solutions. Good luck.
