Dating a Man and Concerned About His Foot Warts

Updated on October 20, 2018
A.S. asks from Laurel Hill, FL
11 answers

I have been dating this man for about a month. He noticed these places on the bottom of his feet and he said they were planter warts. He has them really bad, probably like 40 warts. He said he's had them for 3 years and has struggled to get rid of them. I'm concerned I could catch them or my kids could catch them. I don't want to make him feel bad about his feet but I really don't want my feet to one day have warts too lol.

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answers from New York on

Oh my, at the point that someone has had any condition for 3 years and it is still an issue, I think I'd want to know exactly HOW he has tried to get rid of them. If his idea of dealing with this is "well, I tried this one thing and it didn't work" in the last 3 years, I'd be out of there like a shot. Very telling on how he takes care of things that are important.

I'd find out exactly what he has done, has he seen a doctor, done or taken the prescribed treatments, etc. I wouldn't want to vilify someone who is making a genuine effort to get help with a medical issue, but on the other hand, I'm not going to consciously choose someone who won't take care of themselves.

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answers from Honolulu on

It might be easier to talk with him if you don't call them warts, but instead refer to them as a virus. As in "I'm sorry, but since you have an active virus, I have to be really careful about exposure to me or my children". And then be vigilant about not using the bathroom at his house unless you have shoes and socks on. Make sure he keeps shoes and socks on at your house. Don't go swimming with him or to a gym.

The word plantar is the medical term for the bottom of the foot. Plantar warts can be single or they can occur in groups. They are caused by the HPV virus. They're not just unsightly - they are the active eruptions of a contagious virus. They are no laughing matter.

Plantar warts are not typically easy to transmit to others, except in warm moist environments, like swimming pools, hot tubs, showers, tubs, and the wet areas around those places like walkways, the pool deck, and bathroom floors that get a little wet from dripping towels or wet feet, etc.

If he has not been to a podiatrist and had this virus actively treated, that's a red flag. If he thinks they're nothing (like a freckle), he's very mistaken. If he thinks over-the-counter treatments are enough for 40 persistent viral outbreaks, he's wrong (the over-the-counter things can be helpful for one or two warts, when caught early). If he doesn't know that this is a virus that is contagious, he's misinformed. If he just assumes they're plantar warts and not another skin condition (if he diagnosed himself from a tv commercial or Dr. Google), that's a red flag. Make it a condition of dating him that he gets a real diagnosis and a real treatment from a real foot doctor.

I'm not a doctor, but my daughter had a persistent large plantar wart that didn't respond to treatment and the doctor was concerned enough that she had to cut it in a minor in-office surgical procedure. That solved the problem.

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answers from New York on

Pretty sure a Dr could help him get rid of the warts.

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answers from San Francisco on

40?! I had ONE, one time, and it hurt so bad I started to limp. I went to the doctor and had it removed.
If he's not taking care of himself now he's really not going to later. I'm not sure how he's "struggled" to get rid of them but he needs to go to the doctor, now.

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answers from Boston on

How is it that, in one month, he's already discussing food hygiene and conditions with you? How is it that 3 years of medical history came into the conversation? That strikes me as very odd. Are you rushing into intimate moments with someone this quickly? You might want to rethink that.

I'm concerned that he's not taking care of himself. I don't know if he can't afford a doctor, if he doesn't have health insurance, or if he's making this up. You should not give him advice on this at this early stage of dating, though, and there's no nice way to ask someone about their finances or insurance coverage. He should not be meeting your kids this early anyway - most people keep their dates at a distance for many months rather than have the kids form an opinion (good or bad) on someone before the parent decides if this is a relationship worth continuing. So I'd date him elsewhere, and only do things that involve keeping shoes on, like going to dinner or the movies, hiking and so on. I wouldn't be staying at his house or using his shower.

As Elena says, he has an active virus, assuming he's been diagnosed by a professional and isn't treating himself. If he brings it up again, just say, "I hope you get treated successfully soon." I wouldn't keep talking about it. I'd keep my distance (including not sleeping with him or using his bathroom or pool) until such time as I learned more about his other health habits and even made sure I wanted to keep seeing him for other reasons.

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answers from Portland on

We've had questions on recently about warts.

They are viruses, so you can catch but you can take precautions. Don't share a shower and that kind of thing. If he keeps his socks on it shouldn't be a problem.

Surely he could go and get them treated.

40 warts? If he had 40 plantar warts on one foot, I'm not sure how he could walk.

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answers from Miami on

Well, do you know what plantar warts are, and what they look like? Maybe they are spots, freckles, or something else, because as others have stated, I find it hard to believe someone could have over 40 warts on the bottom of their foot and still be able to walk. As someone else pointed out, this speaks volumes on how he takes care of himself and presents himself to the world, I'd wonder if his hygiene was also off, if he is too lazy to do something about the wart situation. I'd wonder why he hadn't done anything to address the issue. They sell a wart remover liquid at the dollar store, for a DOLLAR! If he cannot afford even that, then maybe that's another reason why you should consider staying away from him. And by the way, you can easily contract warts from showers, walking barefoot on the same floor, even from sharing the same towel as someone who has them, happened to a co-worker of an ex-boyfriend of mine, from sharing a pool towel at the gym. I guess it's too late at this point though.

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answers from Washington DC on

welcome to mamapedia, A.

I hope you are not having unprotected sex with him. Plantar warts CAN be part of the HPV virus.

he needs to go to a doctor. He should NEVER EVER be bare foot in your home. EVER. While the ability to contract them is low - it's not something I would do.

He NEEDS to go to a doctor - he can have them frozen off of him.
All of his socks and linens MUST be washed in HOT water and dried HOT. I'd do it several times. I'd consider replacing shoes too as the bacteria can grow in dark, warm places.

Tell him he MUST go to the doctor and get it taken care of. Ask him to get checked for HPV as well.

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answers from Atlanta on

I've had ONE wart on my foot, it was on my heel. It hurt like the dickens!! I went to the doctor and had it frozen off. HOW the heck can he walk with 40??

I'd tell him to get to the doctor and get them taken care of. That's just wrong. On so many levels!

While plantar warts aren't "contagious", they can transfer. So I would make him wear shoes or socks in the house. I'd tell him to get them taken care of.



answers from San Diego on

He needs to get them surgically removed.
This is going to cause his inability to walk.



answers from Denver on

I had two of them various years ago. I suspect I got them at the gym or neighborhood pool. They're tough to fight. I tried over-the-counter salicylic acid but they were persistent and I had a busy life and probably didn't consistently follow through on the self-treatment. (Which is probably the situation with your guy friend!)

Eventually I had them burned out by the doc who used liquid nitrogen which created a blister under the wart. A bit painful but effective. Can't imagine having 40 of them. Depending on where they're located, they can hurt and even change your gait.

Use a bleach solution on the floor of your shower or wear flip flops because they are transmissible. They're part of the Human Papilloma Virus which probably sounds worse than it is; there are many types of HPV, a fairly common virus. Next time you're at a gal pal cocktail hour, broach the subject. You'll find more people have plantar warts than you would think!

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