Co-ed Party..... for a 12 Year Old.

I think co-ed at that age and at a laser tag place sounds very fun and appropriate. I don't think there needs to be any special rules, maybe except for no pda (cuddling, hand holding, kissing) in case you have kids who are into that at the party. I wouldn't state it as a rule... just put a non-embarrasing stop to it if you see it happening.

Hi! I am still close friends with three of the boys I was friends with when I was 12. I'm even married to one (35+ years)! My daughter calls a boy her best friend, they've been buddies since they were six and do all kinds of things together. Oh, and they take great offense if anyone suggests a boyfriend/girlfriend thing to them. Have fun---

If it were a slumber party or one without some supervision I would say no way. I see no problem with boys and girls playing laser tag. Yes, I do think vetoing would be overreacting.

I would only be slightly concerned if the venue of choice was a backyard bonfire with cuddling for warmth, only slightly. There is nothing romantic about laser tag so it looks like these girls are just friends.

I can't see vetoing it or making up any rules. Its laser tag, its war. Heck maybe he wants the girls cause they are better at it and he is assembling a dominant team....

I ALWAYS had co-ed parties. From the time I was a toddler through today. If you want your son to treat girls as fellow human beings and friends, instead of sex objects he should socialize with them. How can he learn how to interact with them socially if he never has the opportunity.

If all they are doing is playing laser tag, I don't think it's a big deal for him to invite some girls. I think sometimes we are so aware of kids at this age doing "more" than what is age-appropriate that we forget that there are kids that are not, and are just being regular kids - in other words, they are still just interested in being friends and hanging out as friends. When I was 13 one of my best friends was a guy who was a year older and there was never ever anything romantic going on between us - we were just really good friends and that was it. He even was my prom date my senior year because my boyfriend of the time was in the army and couldn't be there - and we are still just good friends to this day, even though we are both married and have kids of our own now. It's not like your son is having a slumber party and wants girls over - let him invite who he wants and I bet they will all have a lot of fun.

My boys are younger, but they make their guest lists for parties. There are often girls on them. 12 would be too *old* for a co-ed sleepover, but laser tag? I think you should be proud of your son for not thinking girls are "inferior" and including them among his friends.

Some level of chaperoning is a good idea - but not because it's co-ed. Kids need adults around in case some kid's judgment goes wonky (which can have *nothing* to do with boy/girl dynamics).

Best of luck to you! It sounds like a fun party!

Oh I think it sound fine, and fun! If they're doing laser tag somewhere public I don't think you have to worry about special rules. They'll just be a group of kids running around having fun...it's not they'll be in the basement playing "7 minutes in heaven" or anything. My two oldest have had a couple of boy/girl parties over the years and they've all been fine.

I say have the party with all the friends that he wants. I am not big on seperating the friends based upon gender unless it is what he wants. Honestly most of my bestfriends over the years have been guys. My girls have friends of both genders and honestly I think it is great - I don't put "romantic" type "vibes" onto the friendships. I think that it is something that society has done for years.

I have kids of both genders and they always invited kids of both genders to their parties from the time they were little. It was no big deal at all. Some of my daughter's best friends were boys. Some of my son's best friends are girls.
I don't understand why it would be awkward, but then again, my kids were used to being around each other's friends all the time.
It was normal and natural to them.

It's just a birthday party and will be in public. It wouldn't cross my mind to say that no girls can be invited.

That is just my opinion. No offense.

Honestly I think it's fine, if it's at a public venue. I wouldn't let my daughter go to a co-ed party at 12 at a private residence, but if it's at a public venue, I think it's totally appropriate and no special rules necessary. Have fun!

I don't see what the problem is. He's not asking if he can date. He just happens to have friends that are female. I wouldn't think that should require any special rules.

It's not like he is asking for a co-ed sleep over lol!! I say having a co-ed laser tag party sounds just fine. What special rules would you think of for laser tag? I think you are over reacting. It's hard to think of our kids growing up, I know.
L.

It's a laser tag party, not a sleepover!!

Why would you veto it and why special rules? Is he not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex?

Overreacting... my opinion.. yes.

They're 12. What do you think they could be doing at a laser tag place? Or even if they were 16, it's a public place. It would be different if your son wanted a party at the house, at night, with no parents around. I'm a tight butt when it comes to this stuff but your son's party is innocent to me. Just because he's inviting girls doesn't mean he's "that close" to them. They're friends and even if someone had a crush on someone, what's going to happen at a laser tag place?

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I am a few years past high school and college, but when I was in high school I had a lot of really good friends that were both boys and girls. In high school I'd often times hang out with my guy friends and nothing every happened.

Anyways, I remember at the time my dad thought it was so cool that guys and girls were able to be friends. He said that NEVER would have happened when he was my age. I think he is great that your son has girls that he considers good enough friends to play laser tag with and he doesn't just see them as girls. Or put them in the corner of this is only a boy thing.

I would definately keep my eye out, as they are boys and girls and well hormones seem to kick in younger these days. But no I wouldn't make an issue out of it because I don't think he even sees it as that way. Some of my best friends growing up were guys and I think it helped my relationships because I had guy friends to get their opinions and the other way around.

Why NOT let him invite the girls? It's a public place and they will be running around having a blast playing Laser Tag. Unless you were planning to leave during the party I'm not sure why you'd be concerned?

As long as it's not a co-ed slumber party, I think it's fine. This is an awkward stage for kids, and being able to interact with both genders is actually a good thing.
If you are worried, try to find a way to meet the girls he plans to invite first. Ask other parents if they know of the girls he plans to invite and get some feedback. One of my grandson's best friends is a girl, and she is great. I was a little skeptic at first. But they love to hang out at our house. We all go up on the mountain trails together, where they catch lizards. The longer the girl is around, the more a part of the family she becomes. When her and my grandson are "on the outs", she still calls the family to check in and see how everyone is doing.

Why would you veto him having friends who happen to be female? I think you're overreacting. I'm 42, and we went to and had "boy/girl" parties starting around age 11 -and certainly at 12 and 13. They're just playing laser tag. My oldest son is 6, and two of his best friends are girls. I hope they stay friends forever!

Sounds fine to me. I think it's good to encourage friendly interaction between the sexes. We make too big a deal out of that stuff sometimes. What, boys can't be friends with girls? It'll add a different element. Plus, I think the activity (laser tag, running around, "playing") sounds like the perfect venue. As opposed to a non-structred "hanging out" kind of party.
You'll be supervising right?

Yes, I think you're over-reacting a little :)

What sort of special rules would you come up with for co-ed laser tag??

I went to a co-ed birthday party in 6th grade. No big deal.

We're all for co-ed. Hubs and I even had co-ed bachelor/ bachelorette parties. No reason to exclude friends who want to join in on the fun because of their gender.

Best of luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I say sure !

I met my husband at my first coed bday party.(also at 12).... 12 seems the right age, puberty and all.

As far back as I can remember, my birthday parties were always co-ed until I started having slumber parties. My ten year old son goes to co-ed parties all the time including lazer tag. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. As for the rules? I would have the same rules you would have for an all girl/boy party. It's just kids having a good time together nothing more, and it's in a public place. My son has had boy/girl parties since he was one! Now he likes to have slumber parties occasionally with only his boy friends which is fine too. Whatever you decide to do, I hope it's a fun day for everyone...especially your son! :)

Considering the party is going to be at a public place and at least chaperoned by you, why not? I think the venue is neutral enough. Invite the parents of the girls to help out if you think that will keep things on the up and up.

Now, if this were a house party in the basement, I'd probably nix the idea for fear of hanky panky like spin the bottle (showing my age, I know) or other teen hormone maddness. I have no desire to have parents getting out of joint if they should find out something happend at the house under my watch.

However, the fact that it is a planned event at a particular public venue, to me, makes this an okay deal to invite both boys and girls. If you think keeping tabs on everyone will be a challenge, enlisting other chaperones is A-Okay in my book.

I have pretty conservative parents, especially where dating was concerned, but even I had co-ed parties. Now to think about it, all of my parties but one (my 13th was a girl sleep-over) party were co-ed parties. I think the key to success and clean fun is venue and chaperones.

And last but not least...no you are not over-reacting as others have said. Your concerns are valid ones. Kids are doing so much more "dating" and socializing earlier and earlier. So it's never too early to have a game plan in place for questions like this. Things do and can happen...but probably not at a Lazer Tag party away from home.

some of my favorite parties were coed when I was in 4th, 5th and 6th grade. . although that term is not really appropriate for a birthday party for 12 year olds lol. coed brings to mind college age things like dorm rooms etc. why would you veto him having some girls playing lazer tag? the thing is if you let him have the friends both girls and boys all around all the time you will know what is going on, who is doing what, where, when etc. if you try to keep him separate from girls at this age you will be one of the moms writing "my son is 15 and I don't know who his friends are............" if you want open communication with your kids it starts when they are really young be the koolaid house and encourage all kids of both sexes to play at your house. make it comfortable. games, homework, tv etc... be the mom that the kids don't mind asking for rides etc. be the mom that other moms envy. you know the one who is out there swinging a bat to practice and serving cookies to the football team because they like to practice in your back yard. along with the cheerleaders that you will be worrying about in highschool lol. good luck

Enjoy it! The years go fast and soon enough he won't be asking for parties anymore. My best friend (who I met when I was 12) is still my best friend 41 years later and he is a boy!!!

I agree that it sounds fine.

I would definitely allow the coed party since it will be at a laser tag place which probably has other activites as well. It sounds like fun. The only rules I would put in place would be the same rules for single gender party and that would mean times to meet and eat the food and cake unless you are going to do that first and then the laser tag fun.