Slumber Party for 11 Year Old

Updated on April 06, 2011
F.B. asks from Mechanicsburg, PA
10 answers

My oldest daughter will soon be 11 years old. She likes the idea of having a slumber party. I told her that it would have to be all girls. She told me that there are two boys that she wanted to invite before we started talking about a slumber party. She just attended a party for one of those boys. She asked me if the boys can still come and have them leave after a couple hours while the girl guests get to stay all night. I didn't know what to tell her. I never thought about that. I don't know if that would be right. What do you other moms out there think about that.

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answers from Allentown on

Hi, F.:
Birthday party co-ed.

Slumber party girls only.

I wouldn't have the two on the same day/night.
Just a thought.

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answers from Seattle on

That's super common (opposite sex until xPM, same sex sleepover). You just make sure that the cake and presents happens while everyone is there.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

Have a slumber party and the boys come over until 6 or something. I remember having a slumber party when I was 10 years old... it was a blast. A couple of boys came with us when my dad took us to the pool.. it was fun. I don't see why it would be complicated. What are you worried about? No the boys can't stay the night, but as long as everyone understands that it'll be fun. I'm sure they'll be supervised and I'm sure everyone's parents will think your being responsible for not having boys stay the night.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

I don't think there is anything wrong with her having a co-ed birthday party.Maybe having the boys over for pizza,cake,and games.I can understand her wanting to have a sleepover party,it's really common with the girls these days.But I also understand her wanting to include her male friends,especially if they invited her to theirs,I think she just wants to return the invite.Just make sure you set a time for the boys to go home and ask that their parents have them picked up by then.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on


Give your "birthday Girl" two choices: A slumber party with girls ONLY or a bowling/pizza party where she can invite both boys and girls.

This way you are not the bad guy, she's making a FIRST big decision. (One of many to come).

Keep us posted....Blessings...

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Austin on

I think having a party and letting it be coed for 2 hours and then it just be girls staying for the slumber party is a great option..

They are getting to an age, where at least you are there to oversee everything. It is good to know the boys for the future.

This way they will feel comfortable in your home. This way your home can be one of the safe and fun homes to gather at.

Our daughter had a group of kids, boys and girls, that were friend starting in 6th grade.. From then on we tried to make sure they knew they could gather at each of our homes for movies, games, meals, study time, Christmas caroling, New Years eve.. ..etc.. also a great way to know those other parents.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

Woah I must be a total nut as a parent! I remember having co-ed birthday parties growing up and there not being issue. I know that this is a different world today but I also think we are a whole have turned it that way! I had a girl best friend and then two boys who were my best friends and we often spent nights together at each others beach homes and there were never any issues, we were just friends more like brothers and sisters. Now I understand that is not how you want your party and that is fine but don’t exclude the boys because you think there is something seedy going on. I think your daughter has shown some good maturity and a good upbringing by not throwing a fit but rather a compromise to what she really wants. There is nothing wrong with them coming over for pizza and a movie then going home. Make it clear that you will be popping in often to make sure everything is ok and let them have fun!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Totally don't see a problem doing both as long as their is total adult supervision while the boys are there- Have pizza and games while the boys are there, then after they leave maybe do a make your own sundae bar-

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Make her choose what type of party she's going to have: a party where her guests are both boys and girls, but it will be "offsite" at an appropriate and chaperoned venue such as a pizza place with an arcade or at an indoor mini-golf, versus a slumber party for girls only, at home.

I would not make having them (boys) to your house an option AT ALL. There is too much of a risk for them (girls) to push the envelope with party games, etc. Don't under estimate the hijinx that can take place under your roof. You don't want that liability or to open a can of worms that will go beyond the party concerning your daughter and boys coming to the house further down the road.

A co-ed party is fine, if the events are carefully planned and fully chaperoned. It would be a good idea to contact these boys' parents if you don't know them already, if you choose to make this a mixed group thing. Hopefully, they'd agree to help chaperone. A mixed group party can be fun, mischief free and tasteful if you find the right venue.


answers from Chicago on

If you are planning a birthday party/slumber party that it would be okay to have the boys. However, if you are having a slumber party only, it really should be all girls. This way, nothing gets out of control and you won't be in the position of explaining to the girls' parents why boys were at a slumber party. I know if I send my daughter to a slumber party and find out later that it was co-ed, I'd be very angry. Just saying......make it crystal clear as to what kind of party you're having.

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