Child Coming into Bed Every Night

Honestly ? If you don't wake up, don't do anything about it. She'll outgrow it. But obviously she feels safe and warm in your bed.

If she wakes you, one of you could join her in her bed until she or both of you fall back asleep. But, frankly, what's it hurting to wake up and discover she's in your bed ?

(Our kids slept with us until they were weaned, then they went to bed in their beds, and joined us if/when they awoke. We both worked FT and neither of us had the energy to do anything else. In our bed, we could sleep, or at least rest, and sooner or later the little one would fall asleep out of boredom. :-) As teens, they obviously do not sleep with us, but they know our door is always open to them. So if there's a problem at night, they have no qualms about coming in to wake us. And sometimes, they sleep together (both girls) after the younger one has had a nightmare. It's really neat to see the emotional team they have become.

Does she have a cool night light? Can you play a CD on "repeat" for her? Hmmmm...this is tough but keep in mind that the longer it goes on, the longer it WILL go on. When she wakes up and you know she is there..take her back and say "we all sleep in our own beds at night..." and just keep doing that. It may be several miserable nights but she will get it eventually! Good luck!

HI. I am a single mom. I made the mistake of letting my daughter crawl in bed with me when she was about 4. What a horrible habit to break. Every night I had to bring her back to her bed. Then I finally gave up and let her sleep with me again. So I simply just kept putting her to bed in her bed and when she would crawl in with me I would take her back to her bed. It all came down to the comfort feeling. She wanted to cuddle. So what I did that helped was I put a lot of stuffed animals on her bed soft ones and I used a lot of soft blankets and she felt better. Eventually it broke. Thank goodness because now she is 9 and she has a queen size bed and boy does she sleep on the WHOLE bed. Hope this helps. You can also put a gate by her door and she can call u and then you can put her back to bed that way she does not even have contact with your bed. Another thing is give her an incentive. If she stays in her bed all week have special mom and dad time. Bonnie

Put a gate up at her door, or down the hall to the bathroom so she can still use the potty if needed. A night light and soft music can help, no words just music or nature sounds. Lots of pretty posters or the peel and stick stuff will warm the room. Glow in the dark star stickers on the ceiling can help as well. Remind her at bedtime that she needs to stay in her bed. She may not realize she's doing it either. If it gets too disruptive, offer her a skittle in the morning if she stays in her bed all night. Let her help pick out the things to put in her room for comfort as well. You can sample music at Walmart and Target and she can choose it.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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Hi,

My daughter has (still does) done this since she was about 3.5 (she's over 4 now). What I do is get up, take her back to her room, tuck her in and go back to my bed. Once in a while I'll let her doze off in our bed, then take her to her room. She'll then stay in her bed til morning. This hasn't been occurring as often as it used to (every night) so she's finally growing out of this stage. Just don't let your daughter remain in bed or she'll get used to sleeping with you (unless you and your husband don't mind it).
Be firm and good luck! :)

My daughter is starting this too, and she tosses and turns all night. I had a talk with her in our awake hours and told her she would get a gold star in the morning if she slept in her own bed all night. That seemed to help. It is so hard to get up in the middle of the night to deal with it. I have done that too but the past few times she came in our bed, I was too tired to deal with it. I think the best way to handle it is to take her by the hand and bring her back to bed.. but that is easier said than done at 3AM.
Good Luck
S.

T.,

I have 3 sons, who have all at one point in time had the same issues. I was never able to figure out the best way to handle it. We tried all kinds of things, but it was hard when you don't know they are there until you wake in the morning! One day, my sister in law suggested that my husband and I lock OUR door, instead of trying to keep my son in his room. It only took a few nights of doing that, waking up when he tried to get in, and walking him back to his room for him to give up. I guess he figured it wasn't worth it anymore!

We had the same problem w/ our son and we were exhausted. We explained that if he came into our bed we would take him back to his room immediately but if he really need to sleep in our room he could sleep next to our bed on the floor. We have carpet in our room and put down a blanket & a pillow on the floor for him. So he did sleep on our floor for a couple months or so and seemed to be fine as far as still getting a good nights sleep and he did not wake us up so we got our sleep too(since he knew we would take him back to his room). One night he just stopped and started sleeping through in his own bed. We still leave the blanket and pillow out just in case but so far it seems to have worked. Hope this helps and good luck!

Hi T.,

I agree with Barbi. I'm wondering: what's the big deal if everyone is getting the sleep they need? Unless she's sleepwalking and can wander about the house, of course. I'd put a gate at the top of the stairs or where ever might be a hazard if she's unaware of what she's doing. Otherwise, she's comfy and secure in your bed and you're sleeping right through it. She feels good knowing she can come to your bed if she wakes up and needs some contact.

Blessings,
K.
www.joyfulconnections.net

I would nip it in the bud ASAP. Hard to do if you're so fast asleep! :) We've had kids do this from time to time over the years. I nipped it, though. Otherwise it's a slippery slope. You have to set limits, which can be hard, frustrating, and cause a lot of tears, but in the long run, limit setting is the best thing for your kids! Good luck!

I didn't read all your responses so I'm not sure if you got this one or are interested in it or not.

For a while when my son was four he would come into our room and it would disrupt my sleep so I bought one of those inflatable sleeping bags (kid size) and kept it under my side of the bed, the side closest to the door. When he wanted to come in all he had to do was slide the bed out and sleep 'next' to me that way. I just had to check the floor before I got out of bed in the morning! This went on for about six months and then he just started staying in his own room. Now that he is six he has started to go to the couch when he wakes up - the heating vent in the living room blows directly onto the couch so I don't blame him!

As kids, my sister and I would both sleep on the floor in my parents room on occassion and they never had a problem with it. Unless you have a huge issue with it I would say just let it go because there will be a day when you want to be closer to her and she won't want to return the cuddles! I hope some of this helps you. Good Luck!

T.,

Been there done that! Put a sleeping bag on the floor and make it clear when she wakes up and comes in your room that this is where she can go. Even if you have to buy a cute girly bag. Unfortunately, neither of you wake up during the process, if you do you both have to make a pack to enforce this. Ahead of time have her pick a spot on your floor. and have a pillow and her sleeping bag. You could even already have it "made" when you go to bed. Have her help you. Then she feels more confident and knows where to go. I had kids on my floor for years. I also had them in the bed, break it now! THe floor thing works beautifully.

Hi T.,

What time does your girl go to bed at night?

Just want to know more about her activities during the day and when she goes to bed. any naps?

D.